>>16820186 >Why do you want male company if you don't want sex? If I knew, I'd find a way to stop it.
>What benefits are there to male company with out sex then to say the company you receive from friends and family? Kissing your sister on the mouth is considered weird, and people are hardwired to not find the scent of their own family members pleasant and attractive in that way to avoid incest.
Get your fill, realize it's not all it's hyped up to be. Feel guilt and shame later on. Or be a victim of some kind of sexual crime. Both work.
Once you get older your sex drive decreases, and the thought of a relationship or intimacy sounds like an unpleasant chore, sort of how military service is dubbed 'duty'. At this point fapping once every 2-3 weeks will suffice.
>>16822182 If you feel guilt, sex itself is not the problem, the problem is you. Sexual behavior is a natural inclination, there is no reason to be ashamed of it. If I've ever felt bad about something related to sex, it was not acting on a situation where I could've enjoyed myself life is too short fuck it.
False. Partaking in adultery, whether you are cheating or helping someone cheat, cuckoldry (being cucked or cucking someone) and sex without some kind of relationship is shameful and you should feel bad.
>>16822229 >>16822229 Being attracted to little girls is natural for pedophiles, that doesn't mean it's normal and not deviant behavior. We're not chimps that act purely on sexual urge without thinking.
>>16822278 Perhaps more to the point, it can be argued that most consensual acts, while sometimes distasteful, don't hurt anyone. If that's all there is to your idea of morality, then it's easy to see where an anything-goes view toward sex would come from. But cheating hurts people terribly, and there is every reason to be ashamed of it.
>>16822278 Cuckoldry? This thread isn't even about that, you clearly have that on your mind to begin with, personally I'm not into that whole thing but I don't have a violent opposition to others doing it why should I even care?
>>16820119 I've seen this thread before (with the same exact picture) but I'm actually going to post this time.
Have parents who only got married because your dad knocked up you mom. Find out your parents had other plans before they had kids. See and hear your parents fight constantly. See your parents stuck with each other, never really showing any affection for one another.
Fear this or worse could happen to you if you got a her pregnant, knowing you're in a much worse financial situation than your father was when he got your mother pregnant, plus the threat of STDs.
Yep, sex...what's that? Fuck no! If I could be 100% sure the girl wouldn't get pregnant, then yeah, I probably would've by now. But that's not how the real world works. Oh, and women don't want me.
>>16822182 The problem isn't that I like it. I need to stop DISliking it. I need to find a way to be completely indifferent to sex.
>>16822771 The last time I had weed it just made me anxious and paranoid. It doesn't make you not care.
>>16823066 My parents got married for social support benefits (they didn't even like each other) at 21 and 24 respectively. They tried for children for 10 years, gave up, had me and my sister as soon as they quit trying.
They didn't fight, but they never showed affection either.
My problem with sex is that I can't stomach to go through with it, and it's the only currency one can use to buy male attention.
>>16822443 Meh. It's pretty overrated. People are having WAY too much these days and it's oversexualizing and desensitizing our culture. It's an act of trust and the most intimate thing you can do, it shouldn't be given out like a handshake.
>>16823483 I'm speaking of the rampant oversexualizing of our culture, sex between two people in a relationship is fine but fucking people left and right is something I cannot condone. It kills your empathy.
>>16823631 It can be difficult. Like any form of relationship, it depends on the person. Myself, being a man who doesn't particularly seek sex, value female input and companionship and seek women who are trustworthy. State thate you're not seeking sex and if they stick around then they will seek to include you into the group. Males tend to be very picky with who they really trust and respect. I know i kinda rambled but there's no instruction booklet or guide, it's just something you do, just make sure you act platonic and only interested in friendship.
>>16824026 I'm sorry, but if I don't want to be fucked, and a man intends to fuck me, he is being a threat to my state of not-being-fucked.
I'm not saying all men are rapists. It's just that most men want to fuck most women. And since I am incapable of enduring being fucked (or to be more exact, the price is too heavy to pay for the luxury of cuddles), this is a problem for me.
>>16824074 The problem is that you havd been indoctrinated in the medias way of thinking in that sex has value and or you aren't of worth if you aren't having sex. There is only two reasons for sex one is for reproduction and two the desire to reproduce unkowingly aka physical attraction.
>>16824102 No kidding but what I am saying is that sex is made up to be far more glamorous than what it really is. Yes it is fun and pleasurable but it isn't the end all be all of what should be attained in life. Unfortunately nearly all males these days believe it is.
>>16824126 The op was asking how do you stop caring about sex. I was just trying to change his/her perspective to help out. I am not a dummy I understand you will never stop the urge to have sex, it is biologically encoded into our dna. For fucks sake why you so fierce?
>>16820119 For me sex is kind of separated into categories. At least in terms of what does or doesn't get me hard. Cause also be due to age/experience. I'm 38.
Porn. Gets me hard and makes me cum. But it's purely fantasy. Most of that stuff I wouldn't want in real life. If I was going to explore kink it would be with someone I've established trust and respect with.
Promiscuous women, heavy drinkers, scantily dressed in public, too much emphasis on makeup/dress. Pretty much every time a woman like this has come on to me, it doesn't impress me. I don't get hard. I don't want to fuck them. Instant repulsion. It bothered me at first. I'm a guy. Why don't I just fuck them? That sort of thing. Eventually I accepted it by realising they are not worth the effort that I like to put into foreplay and sex etc.
Getting intimate with a woman who's personality I know, who can communicate well, is intelligent and open minded. Someone who appreciates me and makes me feel special. I know how she feels by looking into her eyes because she's genuine and not hiding behind some mask. That's the kind of woman at having sex with becomes something more than just an action. I can wait for that. It's worth it.
>>16824138 I want to be able to be able to comfortably spend time with men. The problem is men won't be comfortable unless they fuck me and I won't be comfortable if they do, and there is literally no power on earth that'll stop a man's urge to fuck things.
>>16824142 So I'll be safe if I let them think the entire town has already fucked me?
>>16824149 Men are able to control themselves. They just don't like it. They don't like being in control. Or being controlled. They like being OUT of control, wrecking shit and crashing into things.
I can't make a man control his dick at all times any more than I can demand someone to hold his breath all the time because I don't like to feel someone breathing on me.
>>16824134 Is it physically painful. If not I will say that sex is extremely powerful. Do you understand the kind of power you can hold over men? My advice find someone that respects and will love you on a non sexual basis first. Their priority has to be you first instead of just your body. Then learn how to gain inward pleasure out of making him happy and satisfying his sexual needs. Feel the power surge through you as you take his male ego and shatter it down to a primate like form in those few seconds that you are dominating his fleshly desires. Give him the most mind shattering orgasms possible and turn him into a puppy dog begging you for more. I think its maybe about adopting a sense selflessness. I don't know maybe I am just rambling.
>>16824157 Also I will say it depends on the man. When I met the women I ended up marrying I had to control all my desires because frankly I loved who she was and didnt want to lose her. She was also extremely beautiiful and tender hearted I myself am not the best looking guy so I told myself if you fuck this up I will never forgive you. I tried my damndestto respect all her boundaries and 5 years later we are still married and have children. Its al about the man really find someone who will respect your views on sex and someone who just loves you for who you are.
>If not I will say that sex is extremely powerful. As a fear tactic, yes.
>Do you understand the kind of power you can hold over men? Do you understand how terrifying the mere thought of getting raped is?
>My advice find someone that respects and will love you on a non sexual basis first. Not a possibility with heterosexual men.
>Their priority has to be you first instead of just your body. Straight men. Won't happen.
>Then learn how to gain inward pleasure out of making him happy and satisfying his sexual needs. His sexual needs are a chore, not a pleasure.
>Feel the power surge through you as you take his male ego and shatter it down to a primate like form in those few seconds that you are dominating his fleshly desires. Getting fucked is boring and it hurts.
>Give him the most mind shattering orgasms possible and turn him into a puppy dog begging you for more. Male orgasms are common, meaningless and completely interchargeable. He won't remember it any more than that time he brushed his teeth really really good.
>I think its maybe about adopting a sense selflessness. I've tried to learn to deliberately disassociate during sex so I can sell myself while not having to emotionally process the situation, but it doesn't work like that. I can't get out of my body and sell it however I'd like on an objective scale.
>I don't know maybe I am just rambling. You're not rambling. You just have no idea of what you're talking about.
>>16824157 >So I'll be safe if I let them think the entire town has already fucked me? You'll be safe from good men. But not the ones who can't control themselves.
I enjoy being in control of myself. Like I said, at first it bothered me as to why I didn't just want to fuck. But then I used to go home feeling stronger and happier after rejecting sluts. Once I gained the maturity to realise what I want and be comfortable with that, I started attracting people like that too. And some women (okay just two of them in the last few years since I've been single), who were horny with me at first also changed to respect themselves and respect me. One of them I ended up having sex with, but only after getting to know her. Now we are good friends. That bond from friendship and mutual understanding is really worth it.
Become what you seek. It may take time, but stick to your guns. Tell the men you meet upfront that you're not interested in sex. See what their reaction is. The good ones with substance won't mind. The others. Let them go elsewhere.
>>16824183 I am sorry you have such harsh ideas on men. I hope you weren't hurt by a man in a sexual/mental way because i know that is tough to recover from. I am not even fully covinced yet that you aren't a troll, there was a lot of buzz words in that response, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If a man can't control his sexual urges and look at you other than a mere sexual object than he is nothing more than a dog. You have harsh views on men I am my sorry for this. Although you may not believe me there are men out there that can love you for who you are it is pretty rare unfortunately. Fuck social engineers screwing up our society man!!!
Imagine going to a prostitute and telling her you're not going to pay her.
>>16824200 I'm not being harsh. Men need sex and that's an unfortunate fact of life. I hate sex and that's an unfortunate fact of life, too.
A man who doesn't want sex is broken. I just need to find a way to break myself in.
>>16824203 I have a dog. he gets food from me and walks and pets and sleeps in my bed. I can buy food from the store and it doesn't hurt me.
But if I couldn't buy food, my options would be either to let him starve and wander off, or cut him strips of my own flesh. I know he wouldn't attack and kill and eat me for sustenance, it's against his nature, but he wouldn't be happy going hungry, either.
>>16824241 you keep identifying men as dogs and you have some weird circular reasoning thing going on. You either don't want help, can't be helped, or your a troll/social engineer trying to weave discontent.
>>16824257 I don't indentify men as dogs, I use metaphors because they make it easier for me to express myself, and I know a decent amount of stuff about dogs. If I knew this much about politics, I'd use politics as an example.
>>16824157 >Men are able to control themselves. They just don't like it. They don't like being in control. Or being controlled. They like being OUT of control, wrecking shit and crashing into things. >I can't make a man control his dick at all times any more than I can demand someone to hold his breath all the time because I don't like to feel someone breathing on me.
What did we ever do to you so that you think that from ALL of us? I have been cheated on by women before and I don't assume they all cheat.
Hell, I swear to God one of my female friends only used me for sex. She only called me when she wanted to fuck and I was actually in love with her. Do I get to assume that all women only want me for sex?
>>16824257 because you won't let off the fact you think men are dogs. You keep using this metaphor, as you like to call it, over and over again. Basically it keeps coming back to blah blah blah men are dogs therefore men are dogs. That is circular reasoning. Your a troll or a very fucked up individual...im out.
>>16824297 On the contrary, you think that we, men, are out there to get you. I feel offended that you think I don't want to know and love someone for who they are, as opposed to a means for getting my dick wet.
I now see why girls get so pissed off at the /r9k/ whiners that hate on women.
A car has no risk of becoming dangerous when it runs out of gas. Trees don't whomp people in the dry months. Men are living things with living feelings and needs and sometimes some of them resort to turning dangerous when those needs are not met.
I can't think of any other example to use.
Intelligent beings have needs and it's cruel to deprive them of it.
>>16824307 I don't think you are out to get me. You are out to have your needs met, and not all men are as smart as you are. Not all of them are intelligent and mature enough to walk away from situations where you are not going to get what you need peacefully.
I know there's more to relationships than sex. I desperately want and need those parts and knowing that I can't have them causes me massive emotional pain. But it never outweighs the pain of sex.
>>16824312 Again now you are comparing men to other things this time inanimate objects. This use of analogy is famous in cults its a dangerous social tool and can be used to trigger emotions. I don't want to accuse you of that I still want to give you the benefit of the doubt because fuck it there isn't enough of that in this world.
Go live with elderly people >listen to them moan about stupid shit >literally, moaning when they finish eating >or when they get hemorrhoids I would love to hear how to get rid of those sounds. Seriously.
>>16824327 she is making offensive analogies towards men. Being called a dog is a foul insult they eat their own vomit and shit piss on and fuck anything that moves. I ackowledge she says she is the problem though.
>>16824332 >>16824338 Yes, in the same sense that I've considered getting a job where I don't need to do shit. I'd be ecstatic if I found one, but to be perfectly honest they appear to be so rare that going out of my way to find one would be a waste of my time and resources.
>>16824341 Dogs do gross stuff but they are sweet and gentle creatures and I can promise you if you treat one right he'd die for you.
But a dog needs to eat.
Men are wonderful when they're happy. I just have to find a way to get one to ejaculate on a regular basis without causing disproportionate suffering to myself.
>>16824364 Dog has been used as an insult all throughout history and not in the sense that they are also warm, cuddly, and would die for you. I apologize if I misunderstood your motives. The only other advice I can try to give is try to pleasure a man in a sense that doesn't involve full blown intercourse. Handjobs, blowjobs, whatever thing rocks his socks if he is totally cool with it.
>>16824377 yea i think that is the answer. You are who you are and its so very hard to change your own core feelings and values. Please dont let it discourage you. You seem like a fucking stron ass woman find a strong ass man who wikl respect that.
>>16824402 For most men nope. Let me ask you something though. If your not sexually attracted to men do you still enjoy a mans companionship? Do you find men physically appealing in a non sexual manner? or do you find their appearance a turn off as well.
>>16824408 >If your not sexually attracted to men do you still enjoy a mans companionship? Yes. And this is 100% my problem. I want to touch them and cuddle and kiss and be close and touch and be touched but I don't want to touch the dick.
Not being touched causes me nearly as much sorrow and distresss as being fucked causes pain.
If I wouldn't like men, I wouldn't have a problem with them. Men aren't rattlesnakes, the problem isn't solved just by staying far, far away. I could do that.
But I want to be with them, and that comes with a price tag.
>>16824420 aw damn thats so cute. Don't take that the wrong way but I would love to know that my women felt that way about me in a manner other than sex. She never expresses that to me kind of makes me feel lonely. I feel for you.
>>16824435 It's still hard to not be able to be comfortable and let your guard down around someone that you know could change his mind and want to hurt you at any moment, and not even for the sake of hurting you. Your pain is just a byproduct to their pleasure.
>>16824241 Your metaphors are too simple and crude to be useful examples here. Bottom line is that your views on men are formed by the ones you keep in your company. I'm am giving you my own example as a man who can control himself and not actually want sex until something substantial is established. The sex you hate is the same sex I hate. If I, as a Man can refuse it until it means something to me, then so can you. You may not believe this now, but you will come to know it and feel it if you remain strong willed.
Simple solution. Don't spend time with men who just want sex. If you came across me in your life sex wouldn't be something I would push for. It would be something you'll eventually want from me. All the best chickadee.
>>16824445 Totally agree with you. Thats the hard part about relationships, letting someone in. Because then you know your setting yourself up to be hurt and no matter what there is nothing you can do about it even if in the long run they never hurt you. Just to put things into a broader perspective, I would totally hang with you if I weren't married (let me state I love my wife I would never cheat just making an example) I could easily respect your feelngs on intercourse if it involved me at the minimum getting a handjob. As long as the mood is right it doesn't fucking matter for me if thats "all" I get sexy time is sexy time :) so there im living proof.
>>16824475 sheesh all im saying is its not impossible to have a loving relationship without intercourse. What about people who got paralyzed from the waist down and are still doing well in their relationship.
>>16824475 also my wife doesn't even care for sex all that much she has openly told me this.We very rarely do anything but missionary and only once a week or two. Do I care, no it won't change how I feel about her. Im just saying not all dudes are the same.
>>16824475 >How do I know which ones won't want sex? When you tell them you're not interested in sex, most of the time you'll know by their reaction.
If they lie, eventually their body language, communication and any intimate moment like a hug or kiss won't end up with them trying to feel you up.
They won't stare at your tits or ass. They'll look you in the eye or mouth when talking.
You're essentially looking for a man/dog/job/employee that is self sustained.
Dogs can find food for themselves, jobs/employees can be autonomous, and there are men out there who can sort themselves out sexually when they need to. I hope you'll stop using those analogies cause they're not really helpful.
I've been with women who I've just slept in bed with and cuddled. Not in a relationship, but as friends and there is substance in just sleeping peacefully with someone. If I was getting to know someone romantically, I would insist that we don't have sex right away. I literally can't cum for someone I don't care for and respect. That's my body telling me what my brain wants.
>>16824532 >I don't want to be there for it but it has to happen. I think everyone should just bail on OP right here. Sex doesn't need to happen. >If you have better ideas than spacing out and not being there in an emotional sense, do share. Yeah you idiot.. Don't have sex.
>I've tried being too drunk to care, but I don't think a more permanent partner would be ok with that on a regular basis. It sounds like you just don't like the simple solutions. Don't like sex? Stop having sex instead of letting yourself be the literal example of a piece of meat to fuck.
I lost interest in sex when I saw my bf masturbating to porn i still have sex with him but only for him. I don't like sex any more. I literally do not see the point of it. It doesn't feel good any more.
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