alright, so I was with this friend and his friend who's a girl and blah blah blah doesn't matter
so a few days after that happened, I was with my friend again and asked about the girl, and, context aside, he said at the end of the conversation:
>yeah dude she was all "at one point I was just ripping on him and then he gave it back to me", like I said, you're on her side, you're on the same team, that's what she wants
okay, weird thing to try and figure out, out of everything else, I know, but the phrase 'at one point', grammatically speaking, what sort of past relation does that imply?
in other words, did they speak to each other just at a certain point when we were all hanging out, just when I was away from them (I went to the store a few times), or would it have to have been them together like the day after talking about me?
It's a bigger picture thing, what all of this amounts to, and it's not really relevant to ask her, but if they were talking about me like the day after we were all together, that would be significant, as opposed to it having just been said as some remark while I was gone when we were together.
what do you guys think?
it makes perfect sense your reading comprehension is literally just impoverished
I'm asking about what sort of grammatical past relation a certain phrase implies because I'm trying to figure out if, when these people were talking about me, they were doing it by themselves together (the same day we all hung out, just at a time when I was away (at the store, like I said)), or, if they did it amongst a big group of people (a day or two after we were together).
it's not difficult to understand what I'm asking.
...Why do you care? Why are you getting so hyper cognizant of the tense and terms he used to say these things? Why does it matter if they talked about you? What is the point behind these questions?
They could have spoken at any given point after the part where "you were ripping back on her" and that is the context. It could have been minutes, coulda been days. You're being weird.
What is this actually about?
Holy shit you are incredibly stupid and arrogant. Your grammar is atrocious as well.
I feel bad for you.
Listen kid, twice you have been told that we do NOT understand what the fuck you're asking. It's a fucking word salad for the most part. We don't care to pick apart your bullshit ramblings.
You want proper advice? Treat people nicely and be direct and to the point with what you want to know.
Come back to us on your 18th birthday, kiddo.
>It could have been minutes, coulda been days.
could it really?
it feels like 'at one point' implies a past relation in the measure of days, not minutes. like even if when I was gone, because sometimes I left unexpectedly, she didn't assume I was coming back, it still doesn't really flow well in my mind that she would have phrased it like that the same day we were together.
as far as what it's 'actually about', I'm just trying to figure out if this guy is really my friend or if he's just playing the long game and acting super chummy with me all the time, hanging out, buying me drinks, giving me drugs, just so I can help him out in the end with his money problems (he knows I'm well off).
so the reason why I'm so hyper-cognisant, as you put it, is because I would naturally need to dig deep to confirm any possible slip-ups he's made. and in terms of why it would be a slip-up, obviously him talking to her about me just by themselves is one thing, but them doing it potentially with a large group of people like having a full out discussion about 'that guy' (i.e. me), that's a completely different animal, and would likely indicate or at least add to the theory that he is just using me and is not really as genuine as a friend as he constantly makes himself out to be.
>at one point
That would be the point where she was giving you shit, and you gave it back. That is the "at one point." It doesn't have anything to do with the timing of the conversational pieces or when they were made, that is the point being referenced.
Also, some phrases are used without their correct context by people who do not know well enough or do not care enough to delve into the contextual intricacies of the English language.
>he has money problems
>buying me drinks, giving me drugs
I think he's trying to use you just from the way you've laid things out, which I believe is where your mind is leaning towards from the get-go, which is why I was asking where all these questions were leading. Don't pussyfoot around with hypotheticals - give us what you want, give us the details of why you think it's important, and then we can sort it out. Asking things in a beating around the bush hyperbole makes things convoluted and confuses most others.
Without meeting the guy, without seeing his behavior first-hand, without knowing the content of his character, we cannot pass judgement on the guy. From what you've told us, it sounds like he's wanting your help. But that's what you've been suspecting since the beginning, so you already have a heavy bias in the subject matter.
tl;dr We don't know if he's trying to use you or not, but it sounds like you think he is. What kind of money problems does he have?
it just feels to me like 'at one point' implies a heavier sort of past relation for some reason. like if it was just her and him when I was away wouldn't it have more likely been constructed as 'I was just giving him shit and then he gave it back'. I really think 'at one point' is more of a day later recollection type of phrase. but you're right, it's contextual, which is exactly why I made this thread, to try to glean context from which I am for all intents and purposes blinded.
and him, well, he's a street rat basically, he's '''''homeless''''' (it's just some retarded lifestyle choice people make here to fulfil a subculture (with which lately I've been guilty of associating), he absolutely does not have to be homeless), he's like 15 years older than me also. it occurred to me one day that, given his age and his and my own situation, he's likely trying to pull something off.
the thing is he's just so damn good at it. if he is just using me he's so smooth and good at being a 'friend' that it's genuinely difficult (even for an over observant person like me) to tell the difference. effortless to be around, never really cuts deep when he cuts, but still cuts. that may just be his personality though.
hahaha you sour petty cunt. it's my money. I made it all myself.
Option 1: You're fucking schizophrenic, what the fuck are you even trying to say.
Option 2: You're not telling us vital information about whatever the fuck is happening.
Don't tell me shit about reading comprehension, I got a perfect score on the reading section of the SAT years ago when I took it for the first time.
You see all this shit should of been in the first post.
How the fuck are people supposed to figure out what your talking about from a fragment of a sentence with no context? I don't know you, I wasn't there, I don't know your thoughts on the matter.
For future posts
>Who are you
>Who are they
>What do you think they're trying to do
>Why would you think that
>When not wanting to type out the whole conversation in text give a general idea of what they said
>Don't tell me shit about reading comprehension, I got a perfect score on the reading section of the SAT years ago when I took it for the first time.
I want this to be a joke so bad, like for your own sake, but we both know it's not.
>How the fuck are people supposed to figure out what your talking about from a fragment of a sentence with no context?
because that's what fucking reading comprehension is you goddamn stupid fucking pricking cunting autistic little dickhead. it's called inference I'm sorry your little aspie mind can't handle such a basic life function.
Dude, my BA is in a modern language. I've worked as an English teacher, a translator, and an editor. I've had to clean up articles where the author clearly just got frustrated halfway through and started running their shit through Google Translate. Figuring out nonsense is literally my career.
I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY.
Your post is completely incoherent. Sorry.
That's why when I attempted to answer his question, which sparked some actual information being given...
I had to ask him about seven questions to answer one of his. This is the downside of the internet and with the advice board - getting people to textually understand that for us to give them advice and information, they too have to give us information.
I really do think you're reading heavily into it, but with the precaution of not trying to let a freeloader mooch off of you. An understandable concern. But it's really difficult to tell. Not to mention the best con artists are the ones who seem genuine.
Jesus Christ my man if you can't make out there's a world of contextual difference between texts which people intentionally create as textual objects and the social use of language as well as the social use of situations through language then you probably do have some degree of autism. I mean I hate the autism meme just as much as the next oldfag poster but you really should look into that.
maybe you're just a sheltered baby who's never had to deal with real people before.
I have to concede with you in some respects, in that I truly did not give enough information in my initial post, and that the correct way to respond to that post was to question it. and that's what you did so congratulations, you were the reasonable one who understood that something must be engaged in order to be fulfilled. I'm glad people like you are still on this board. makes me feel like this wasn't a complete waste of time.
that's where it becomes tricky even for me. I guess what the bottom line question is, is whether or not that moochiness is just an engrained, unconscious part of his personality. and I mean that's literally everybody once they figure out I have money. people in this thread right now probably have had that instinct kick into gear if even at a negligible level.
the question is, is it conspiracy. is he going behind my back and talking a massive amount of 'I can't wait for this to be over so I never have to see him again' type of shit.
basic moochiness I can understand. it's just human. but I'm trying to figure out if he honestly would consider himself a friend.
to be honest, I know I've already triggered the schizophrenia flag and whatever, but sometimes the people he brings around, even the girl for instance, it feels like he brings them their for a purpose, to sweeten me up in a way. like once some guy randomly appeared and got deep into conversation with me and then just up and asked me if I had a couch for a week or so....
Loving the replies you're getting, OP. Your post is a fucking atrocious mess and you deserve shit for it.
But lemme try and decipher what's happening here: you have two friends, guy and girl, who guy might have slipped you information saying that he and girl were talking about you when you weren't around? Like you're thinking that her bringing you up means something about her being interested in you?
If that's the case (and wow learn to speak, I wonder if that's how you sound when you're actually talking) I wouldn't rush to call it "significant" but the answer is maybe. Maybe ask him about her a bit more and find out.
Well it sounds like a conflict of interest since you're coming from wealth and seem to be hanging around with people who are destitute, so you're going to be encountering a lot of people trying to butter you up for a variety of reasons, whether they are truly genuine attempts at friendship or "hey man can I get $20", they're going to be pretty similar when you're encountering those types.
Time is the best way to tell. You'll see a clearer pattern through more instances and experimentation. How long have you been hanging around this guy?
read the thread boyo.
It's understood that they were talking about me behind my back. that part he openly admitted to when he told me what she said.
what I'm trying to make out is whether, when they talked about me behind my back, it was the same day, just when I was momentarily gone, or if it was a different day, which, like I said, would probably mean them being around a larger group of people, and therefore them having somewhat of a proper discussion about me, for however long.
what I'm trying to figure out in all this, is if he's honestly my friend, or if he doesn't give an actual fuck about me and is just using me (in all likelihood because I'm well off).
the first case wouldn't really strongly point to anything.
the second case however would definitely suggest that he is just using me, and is not in fact a real friend.
Friends sometimes talk about friends. You don't even know what he said? You just know he was at some point talking about you? Do you even know if it was insulting?
Out of your two cases it's probably the first. You sound like you're really jumping the gun here if just one instance of him talking about you with other people automatically makes him a bad friend. That's sounding like some kind of paranoia.
Naw. Naw, dude, you're just babbling. You wouldn't have gotten replies like this if you weren't expressing yourself incredibly poorly.
Sincere thanks for these gems, though. They're honestly pasta-worthy.
>texts which people intentionally create as textual objects
>the social use of situations through language
>you were the reasonable one who understood that something must be engaged in order to be fulfilled
yeah it really sucks though because whenever people do find out it's pretty easy to parse which category they fall into, and I don't much like them anyway. but this guy I honestly enjoy being around, he knows a tonne of people and is breaking me into the scene almost from the top basically, and besides that, I relate to him and the other people in his group better than my old friends because they're more authentic. but with that authenticity I guess comes reality.
I've known his friend for about a year and him for a few months but have been hanging out with him often just since 2 or so months ago. our mutual friend was also strangely nice to me, even before he knew I had money, but I always boiled that down to sympathy for whatever reason.
anyway, the pattern I'm noticing with him is mostly solid. so that's what's confusing me. this guy is like broke and is always offering to buy me food whenever I don't have any money on me. buys/gives me drinks, gives me hits out of his own supply. not talking about the typical joint either.
no of course they talk, and that's fine, that's assumed, but, I mean the reason I made the OP, the phrase she used. that's what stuck out to me. it just does not strike me as the type of language which would have been used only a few minutes after I was away.
yeah I'm just gonna go ahead and bet on the fact that the majority of people who come here are a little dull from sitting in their rooms all day wanking to anime
He might not be living a lifestyle because it's a conscious choice to be poor - he might have little to no attachment to material worth, and since you seem like a good guy he's happy to help. I do that kind of stuff for people all the time - in fact, my friendly demeanor caused a lot of strife in my love life because I am nice to everyone, not just people close to me - so any attempts I made to be nice to other girls was immediately seen as flirting.
I hope he's on the up and up, OP. Don't sweat it too much, though.
here's what sort of tipped me off though. one night he got me as drunk as he had money for. the bartender, which is his friend, even drank with us, she gave me like 5 shots of whiskey, after that, we were having typical drunk convo, and he said the words to me 'if I could just get like 20... 15 racks man... my life would be set'.
thing is though I brought up millions first, and also I brought up getting our mutual friend and (through transitivity) him and another one of our friends their own place. all of it was naturally at least slightly assumed to be hyperbolic, I mean we were both really drunk, but still I felt like he got me drunk for a reason, just so I could put at least the hyperbole of the idea into my own head. I have a feeling the bartender was in on it too, she kept giving me looks and made a comment about 'the people you bring in here' (referring to me), but then looked to me with a smile and said 'not you', but it was pretty clear what was going on, because after, my friend said something to her and she turned around and said 'what' and he said 'I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to him', and then a few minutes later, she said something to him under her breath and he was like 'what?' and she said 'I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to her' (other bartender).
I guess I'm a little out of my depth. I'm like the youngest person in the group.
hey man that's what fucking happens when you stare into smartphone all fucking day for years
fucking braindead cunts I swear
read every single word and you'll be fine. but oh wait, that's beyond your capability, go back to your fucking vice article dumb faggot.
I really -do- think you are overthinking a lot of this. I understand that it's important to put stock into the body language, the atmosphere, the little subtle clues here and there. But at the same time people do things without intents or purposes, they just... do. There's no conscious plan, it's what sounds like the right thing to say or do at the time, the first thing that pops into their mind.
Whenever you get wasted with him, or do whatever it is you guys do, do you offer to pay him back? Do you make it known that you're not trying to sit their and sponge off of him? Because if you're just letting him lead you around by the nose in every conversation, every interaction, yeah, you're setting yourself up to be put in a rough spot.
also, since you've decided to be the only good anon in this thread, I'm wondering if I could ask your opinion on another thing
>at one point I was just ripping on him and then he gave it back to me
does this not strike you as conspiratorial? In the sense that they're speaking of me from a bird's eye sort of view, almost like they're evaluating me?
I'm really curious how the conversation must have panned out. like what led up to her saying those words.
That phrase sounds like praise to me. Especially after your friend anon said "she's on your side." Some people give each other shit because they want someone with a backbone to give it back, it's how they prefer to communicate.
I pay him back. I gave him 10 when I said I'd give him 20 one day though to test him and he seemed mildly thrown off by it. but exactly how thrown off a grown fucking man with a plot to sweeten some kid up would ultimately let himself be. so it's an endless roll of confusion.
also, an observation I've made hanging around these people is that the 'there's no conscious plan' rule of thumb becomes less and less true. it really does seem like almost everything they do has some sort of purpose behind it. obviously not everything but just a LOT more than usual.
so it's so hard to tell sometimes. it's like it would actually require living in their situation for like decades to truly have a clear idea of it.
yeah I don't know she didn't seem to like me. like she thought I was just some punk kid. but I mean like most girls fucking gawk at me because my height and looks and maybe she's the type of person to 'hate what everyone else likes' (words out of her mouth, pretty sure she was actually explaining our tension to me)
the things she apparently said to me were pretty fucking rough though. that's actually what gave me a big impression that my friend isn't actually my friend. because he never talks shit like that, and he brings this dumb fucking girl around who won't stfu, won't stop babbling shit, and it totally fucks him over because she didn't know I'd be smart enough to see through her little manic act and catch on to what she was saying. basically I can only imagine what he says about me when I'm not around.
go ahead and feel free to put me down then
if you have something to say I mean. I'll listen to you.
I don't think you have anything to say though because you know you don't know me or my situations well enough to call me narcissistic or delusional. you'll just end up looking stupid if you tried. so you have to lean on the passive-aggressive. and we both know why.
otherwise I'm gonna have to count you off as another angry virgin on /adv/ getting real m a d. sorry it's the best I can do.
I think he's using you and yes they're talking behind your back. She is not interested in you but he's pretending the gossip about you was all positive to avoid you catching on to his scheming ways. Because..you know...you're well of and all...
yeah as a matter of fact I'm not even sure she even said that
it went from negative 'she talks a lot of shit you know', to positive 'she's on your side man'.
I guess it is obvious and I just don't want it to be true.
Lol OP your asking if they were talking behind your back immediately or after a day or so...
From what he said it sounds like he was being a good wingman and chatting with her to see if she liked you then giving you a report.
Nigga calm yourself.
Letting money make you paranoid is worse than losing a little if he really is long con-ing you.
Trust son, learn it.
I'm not even interested in the girl I have a girlfriend and another girl on top of that.
How the fuck am I supposed to trust people though? Trust them for what? Trust them to sweeten me up and pull the rug once their business is over?
The point he's trying to make is that you're immediately distrustful of everyone because you think they're going to take from you because you're loaded. And while yes, there are a lot of people who will do this, not everyone will.
Blanket statements of generalization work to a point, but they also alienate everyone in that group, even if they have the best of intentions. Judge a person by their character, not by what group they belong to, or the color of their skin, or their level of money.
No one knows about that. That's why humanity is having such a hard time - NO ONE knows what we're doing, we're just watching other people and imitating them hoping that it's correct, making our own little personal tweaks and touches here and there.
...Or watching what people do and doing the blatant opposite of that. Whatever floats our boats.
some know better than others though. It seems to me like not trusting anyone at the slightest bit of suspicion has served me right so far.
the other night he handed me a bag with a bunch of baggies of stuff in them and told me to hold onto it for him because "you're the only one I trust here". couldn't have been more dumb and obvious about it. I just kept looking at him like 'seriously man' with the sad look of kid getting played on my face and he was like oh it's clear now I'll take it back.
sometimes he does/says things to me like that and I just stare at him. maybe I get something out of a fake friendship too, who knows.
Thinks everyone is out to get him
Thinks everyone's lives revolve around trying to manipulate him
>massive trust issues
Thinks people want his money and are constantly lying to him
>superiority complex coupled with an illusion of superiority
Thinks he is above everyone else despite the inability to properly communicate with other human beings both in person and over the internet
You're on /adv/ asking for help to dissect a situation like a paranoid sperg. Get over yourself and visit a shrink.
Nigga, you are literally relaying a conversation you had to ask us about GRAMMATICAL CONTEXT IN A CONVERSATION WE WERE NOT WITNESS TO. THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO WRITE A PILE OF SHIT TEXT TOWER THAT MAKES NO SENSE. DAMN NIGGA
You're going down in /adv/ history. Your tenacity is so impressive and you're so, so delusional.
Please start threads every day.
This is, honest to god, my favorite thread I've read on /adv/ this year. I read the OP out loud to like four people.
Them: (making faces) How did anybody even respond to that?
Me: People've pretty much just been arguing over whether what he said makes any sense for like six hours.
Seriously, thank you /adv/, good night.
you read it outloud right from your smart phone like the passive aggressive cocksucker you've always been
I have a smartphone mate, it's cool, I just don't suck cock. that's the difference.
I can't stop laughing. I know I said good night but I can't stay away from this thread. Holy fuck.
Yes, I literally did read it out loud from my smartphone. That is exactly what I did. I have two questions for you.
1. How is that passive-aggressive?
2. What is your thing about smartphones? That's seriously like the third time you've randomly mentioned them.
Eagerly awaiting your response.
My god man you're amazing. This is also my favorite thread I'll likely ever see, ever.
I'm not arguing with you, broski. I seriously just want to understand what the fuck you're talking about. And every time you post I laugh for like five fucking minutes. I'm hooked.
So please, I'm begging you, answer my questions. Explain it to me like I'm an idiot. At least explain this thing you've got about smartphones.
I'm a captive audience!