I've been having some bad anger issues lately, drinking a lot, etc. I'm in the military, though, and we have chaplains/padres.
Should I see the one at my local unit, or is it a trap? I feel like going to someone and saying "I'm having problems at home" is just gonna fast-track me to being fired from the only job I can get. But being angry literally all the time between shifts is very tiring, and I'm running out of unbroken things in my house to smash in fits of rage.
that literally nothing I do doesn't get me bullied in some sense when I reveal it or discuss it with others, and that even on my own time doing things completely by myself, they fail pretty much 100% of the time. I cannot think of the last project I undertook that went well -- even cooking rice yesterday, some got burned and stuck to the pot. At the bar over the night, I met people and was largely brushed off or got ignored or whatever. And even being all upset, thinking I was by myself in my apartment to smash stuff up and be terrible, it turned out that my roommate was around the whole time! I think he might even have some bitch over. I don't know.
I am mad pretty much 100% of the time between shifts, and even at work, I'm on edge because I'm constantly being shit on for the length of my hair or how shiny my boots are or some other stupid thing, and I can't even take pride in my work because I don't really *do* anything.
>the length of my hair or how shiny my boots are
are you sure the military is the right place for you? cause you know, people there aren't especially nice to their subordinates.
you seem like you are beating yourself up a bit much. you are very strict with yourself and have extremely high expectations. why? do you judge others that harshly too?
>cause you know, people there aren't especially nice to their subordinates.
You don't know shit. My bosses are nice -- it's just hard to keep your nose completely clean.
>you seem like you are beating yourself up a bit much.
Everyone else does. Everyone else shits on my work and everything else that I do in my own time. You think I'd feel bad about everything if it wasn't constantly going wrong and getting me shit on for it?
>do you judge others that harshly too?
I generally don't give a shit about the quality of others' work unless it doesn't work. Which it usually doesn't, and then they get praised for it anyway while my shit that does work gets shit on, but whatever, it's not like I'm handling others' work that often.
>You don't know shit. My bosses are nice -- it's just hard to keep your nose completely clean
true. was just an assumtion i had about the military.
however, you are contradicting yourself. in one sentence you are telling me that your bosses are nice, and in the next one you tell me this:
> Everyone else does. Everyone else shits on my work and everything else that I do in my own time
this smells from overgeneralization. what evidences do you build these statements on? can you give me specific sitations that make you feel that people don't value the work you do?
>I generally don't give a shit about the quality of others' work unless it doesn't work
and why are you so sure that others don't feel the same about the things YOU do?
>what evidences do you build these statements on?
That whenever I do anything and tell anyone about it, they shit all over my work? And that when I do shit just to do it and refrain from showing it off, it usually doesn't work anyway?
>can you give me specific sitations that make you feel that people don't value the work you do?
literally every thing I've ever made that wasn't a piece of food for myself to eat for pure sustenance alone. Even just running my computer, friends tell me that it's wrong and bad and my computer is shit and I'm shit for thinking it's good enough for my uses. Even just playing video games, I told a friend that I didn't like XCom, so he said I must just be bad at it. I said I got to the last mission on Impossible difficulty, and still, he insists that I'm just bad at the game and it's 100% my fault that I have problems with it. I tried to show a different friend how to use a game engine because he was going on about wanting to do indie game dev, and the whole time, he was taking issue with it.
>and why are you so sure that others don't feel the same about the things YOU do?
they explicitly tell me that what I've done is bad and that I should stop doing it and things like it. Even in this thread, you told me that the military isn't for me over boot polishing and hair grooming you haven't even seen.
Don't see a "unit" chaplain if ever you see anyone make sure they're outside of work.
Stop letting these people get to you. Don't waste your anger. Channel it into productive stuff and ultimately revenge.
Stop listening to what others tell you. Act like the boss and people owe you shit and you don't owe them anything.
Never need anything from anyone, it makes you less powerful.
Put on whatever mask you need to for work. But on the inside, scheme, rise, revenge.