[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
Is it too late to fix myself?
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 22
Thread images: 2
File: 1451736755315.jpg (32 KB, 236x538) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1451736755315.jpg
32 KB, 236x538
I'm 28

>haven't worked since I was 21
>spent all that time looking after dying parent
> didn't get an education
>I'm overweight, not super fat i'm still a fatty
>stuck in a deadend relationship, it's more about dependence (on her end) than anything else
>No friends

Only pro is i'm not a social retard, I lack self esteem and confidence but I don't sperg out or show my powerlevel

Truth is I feel trapped, depressed and worthless. I tried talking to a doctor, actually I talked to 3 and was brushed off by all of them.

Is it possible to claw my way out?

I did make some good changes..
>quit smoking
>bought a treadmill, use it every day
> was hooked on painkillers, quit cold turkey a month ago, totally drug free atm.
>>
>>16813367
You can still make changes happen. Hope isn't lost for you.

I believe you can still fix yourself. Most definitely.

So what motivated you to quit the dergs? I'm struggling with my own addictions and would like for you to share your advice and experience if you can.

To be honest with you, I feel as if I'm stuck in my own box of unhappy circumstances, and probably am not in a position to give advice.
However, no human is beyond repair if they really want to fix themselves.
You seem to be heading in that direction of self revival. I'm happy for that.
>>
>>16813375
Give me a few mins and I'll tell you what made me quit/what it was like
>>
>>16813367
Look at the hodgetwins. They were fat fucks at 35 and now they are ripped and successful. Can do anything you want my man.
>>
>>16813382
Splendid!
>>
>>16813367
>Is it possible to claw my way out?
Yes OP. But it will take some personal courage to understand that whatever situation you are in can only be changed by yourself. Also, any mistakes you did and understand it are on you. Nobody else is reponsible for your fuck-ups. Most likely you'll need to start from the bottom by sorting your personal life and that means habits (good and bad), interests, acquaintances, health, body fitness, wasting time, getting a job to become financially independant, fulfilling your dreams etc.

You can achieve everything you dream of but you need to start the process of sorting your life now. Every day wasted is one day less to doing what you want in life. Whatever that may be.
>>
>>16813367
>I did make some good changes..
>>quit smoking
>>bought a treadmill, use it every day
>> was hooked on painkillers, quit cold turkey a month ago, totally drug free atm.
That's great! You can try putting those on a list of your achievements. This way you'll see progress. That can motivate you.
>>
>>16813397
Ok, how I quit codeine

few things, I was on 60mg, per dose, 4 doses a day, the max I could get in the UK

>was hooked for 8 years, started after I dental op
>always zoned out, would panic without meds after 12 hours
>decided to cut down

Cutting down

>forced myself down to 60mg, 3 doses a day, at 12pm, 6pm, 12am
>time is important, always keep track of when you take em
>then I went 60mg at 12pm, 30mg at 6, 80mg at 12
>finally got down to 30mg at all times

Stopping:

Just after xmas I was down to 4 days worth of pills, couldn't get more till the middle of the month. So I took 2 pills a day, 30mg at 6pm and 30mg at 12am so they'd last..

I was out all day on the second day.. and had missed a dose.. had a really bad headache when I got in.. and something in me snapped.. I threw the pills down the drain..

The next week was rough, stomach pains, joint pains and sweating for the first 3 days

after 3 days
>muscle spasms in legs
>impossible to sleep, filled with energy
>sore head
>couldn't take a dump

finally all that faded but the emotional stuff is still with me and will be for a few months
> fear
>depression
>no cravings though

I highly suggest going to a doctor and getting something for it, I didn't though and regret it, however I have loads more energy, started working out a little.

any questions just ask
>>
File: oBCfQ8x.jpg (172 KB, 725x742) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
oBCfQ8x.jpg
172 KB, 725x742
>>16813424
This.

What you've accomplished so far, if true to what you wrote, is great!

Honestley there is no real method to change yourself, you have to want to change. A person doesn't quit smoking to save money or to have better health, they quit because they don't want to smoke anymore. No amount of loopholes or gimmicks can change a lifestyle. You have to truly want it.

You have to really want to change yourself OP, and you have to concentrate everyday on the goals you set. Don't fallback on old habits and if you slowly feel like you can't do it, remind yourself of the things you already accomplished and remind yourself of the lifestyle you want to live.

If a man can manage all that he can actually accomplish whatever he wants.

I believe in you.
>>
>>16813367

>is it too late to fix myself

define fixing yourself. will you ever be the CEO of a fortune 500 company? no. but you can find work. you can dump ur gf. you can lose weight. you can make friends.

these arent entirely difficult things to do, and asking (or rather, implying) that you don't have a choice in the matter because its 'too late' (seriously, what does that even mean?) is foolish.

start today. break up with your gf.

>BUT SHES FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT ON ME OR SOME OTHER BULL SHIT-

then TODAY, take the first steps to undo that dependence. as in, talk to her parents and inform them you are breaking up and need her to not be homeless.
>>
>>16813421
My problem really is the fact I blame myself for everything. I'm ashamed of my life choices and my body.

I know what I need to do but the thing about depression (in my personal experience) is that its like being in a small hole, every time you jump up to grab the edge and miss, the floor drops a little and the hole becomes a little deeper untill you can barely see the light.

I think that's why it's so hard for people to see the path they need to take.. I can't see my way out right now either but hopefully one day I will.

Your advice is correct

>>16813424
It might sound weird but I don't have any pride in any of those things.. more guilt about the fact I was hooked on pain meds and smoked in the first place.

I'm Irish though so we feel guilty about using the bathroom normally.
>>
>>16813478

>metaphorical hole

sure, but the only reason ur having so much trouble is all the metaphorical baggage weighing you down, like your girlfriend. bury your baggage, and suddenly the hole is a LOT easier to climb out of.

>hopefully one day i will

this is why you will fail. depression sucks, but it doesnt cure itself. the only way out is to realize that you have to fight through. yes its hard. yes its not that easy. yes its easier said than done and all that bullshit.

but its not impossible. not by a long shot. so sit down right now, write a list of what you need to do, and take the first steps of each of those things. break up with your gf today. throw out all your junk food, and buy a shitton of fruits and veggies (plums are back in season nigga).

you quit pain meds in a month dude, thats arough as fuck. no matter how you got on that path, you were strong enough to stop. frankly if you can quit something like a pain pill addiction you have the willpower to do pretty much anything. you just got a turn it on
>>
>>16813460
Now that I think about it a little.. it is pretty cool I stopped the drugs ans smokes..

Though honestly I still crave the smokes.

>>16813461
The thing about my girlfriend is she is in the same boat as me right now. I'm not sure if there is still something there or not, maybe we're too wrapped up in our own depressed bullshit to notice but she is the only emotional support I have right now even is she takes far more than she gives.

I do agree with you however and chances are it'll end before the year is up.
>>
>>16813498

then end it now. ur not interested, and its holding you back. shes not being your emotional support, shes being your crutch. your enabler.

time to reboot and start over OP.

or you can sit here and whine instead of taking the advice you asked for. your call.
>>
>>16813437
>time is important, always keep track of when you take em

This is one crucial aspect I overlook. I'm used to getting cravings and fulfilling them at the earliest possible convenience. This sometimes results in me skipping out on my priorities in favour of indulgence.

Honestly I've never done the hard drugs, and the ones I have done were psychedelic, and not likely to be abused.
I'm only 21 years old, and I feel like I'm going down a bad road in life and there are no breaks.

I struggle with nicotine and marijuana. It sounds silly, but these often misinterpreted dependencies are causing me a lot of problems in my everyday life.

But the fact is that you were able to change your habits. If you can do that then I'm sure you can change your whole life one step at a time.
Grand changes are actually a series of minor changes we make, so keep up the small changes.

In your position, I would start to look for employment in am industrial sector. One that has low qualifications to become employed. From there you should build a savings for other paths like attending schooling, getting a good work ethic down, having some reference for future employment, and generally working your way up the ladder to explore and exploit opportunities.
Friendships will most likely be made along this path, but aren't limited to it.

Also I admire you for sticking with a dying parent. It's cliché to say this, but that is very courageous.

I wish you all the best, anon. :)
>>
>>16813505
>you can sit here and whine instead of taking the advice you asked for. your call.

You are correct.

I cannot however do everything at once. My main focus now that I can breathe without coughing up a lung is lose some weight.

I don't eat a lot of junk but right now I'm stuck in the house during the day, looking after mum, hence the treadmill
>>
>>16813478
>My problem really is the fact I blame myself for everything. I'm ashamed of my life choices and my body
>I think that's why it's so hard for people to see the path they need to take.. I can't see my way out right now either but hopefully one day I will.
What's good about what you wrote is that you're already aware of what's bad about your life. That's great because most people are often incapable on accepting the fact they fucked up somewhere along the line and see nothing wrong with their lives even though they are in a bad place slowly destroying themselves. As a result you've already made one the first steps to improvement.

OP, I want you to visit the link I've pasted below. This is a channel that helped me with confidence, making peace with myself and striving to make a change. It forced me to think and understand self-responsibility. I believe it may help you too but you got to have an open mind when listening. Force yourself if you have to. You might go over a week or two or more of thinking about it but in the end you should arrive at a positive conclusion on what needs to be done. Remember, we must face our fears to overcome them.

https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDMotivation/videos

I've personally downloaded every video from the channel, converted it to mp3's and continue to listen to them on my phone when I'm on the go. The idea is to let the material drill into your head to function as a reminder to think positively and as a whip to stop being unproductive and destructive with whatever negative action I might be doing.
>>
>>16813520
The smokes were easy for me man, I know people make fun of them but get a vape pen.. don't use it in public if your ashamed

It makes cutting down simple, go 12, then 6, then 3% juice and finally either cut the juice down to 1.5 by mixing half 3, half0 or just jump to 0 like I did and then stop.

Took me 3 months to quit like that, if I feel like a smoke I dig out the pen ( maybe once a month this happens if that) and use 0 juice, brain thinks it's getting what it wants due to muscle memory and you go on living without smokes.

Thank you for the advice. It's hard devoting yourself to watching someone die.. i wont lie but i'm all she has. Thank you.
>>
>>16813527
>I cannot however do everything at once.
Good man. You're subconsciously aware you can't rush things but instead introduce change slowly. The "slow but sure wins the race" attitude is what successful people do. If you can use that attitude to introduce change in other aspects of your life you will make it.
>>
>>16813540
Thanks man, I shall have a good look through the channel later on, already have it bookmarked.

>>16813563
Up untill last year I would have rushed for instant results but something changed.. I wouldn't have even posted anything like this online but I can't take another year of this and I think something inside me is finally pushing me to do something.
>>
Don't measure your time by what you've lost. Measure your time by the head start you have against Ray Kroc.

He's the man who built the McDonald's empire and died a multi-gazillionaire. One might think that such a man would need to be born to privilege and groomed since birth, but he didn't get his act together until he was 52. This required ridiculous hustle and business acumen.

This might seem like an awful lot to aspire to, and it is. But the trick is that you don't HAVE to clone Kroc, and so you are working under much looser constraints. You're unlikely to get even remotely as rich as Kroc, but his assets at death could have funded an affluent lifestyle for hundreds of years. If your goal is just to get your life together, you don't have to make even 1% of what Kroc did.

And then there is time. You do need to hustle to make up for your lost years, but almost anyone posting on these boards has literally decades of extra time compared to him. You, for example, have 7 lost years; Kroc had 34. Your time constraints are much looser than his were.

In your case, OP, your head start against Ray Kroc is 24 years: almost half your lifetime to date. Those seven lost years are not a trivial obstacle to overcome. The actual lost time is only part of the issue: you will also have to face questions about what you were doing during that time. You have a good answer for this -better than your average 4channer, to be sure- but the question will still be asked, and it will still hurt you to a certain degree. But you have time. You have lots of time.
>>
>>16814325
Thats..

Pretty fucking sweet man. Really. Thank you
Thread replies: 22
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 527958



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.