I have asked my gf to marry me 2 times and both times she said no. First proposal was when we had dated 1,5 yeares and she thought it's too early to think about marriage at that point. I dealt with it and decided not pressure her because I thought we will be together forever anyway. Now we have been together for four years, I love her more than anything, I want to spend rest of my life with her really, then I proposed. And she said no again. She still doesn't feel like she's ready to marry me.
Help me. I don't know what to do right now. I don't want to wait forever until she's ready for marriage but I don't want to waste my time and money for proposals if she says no anyway. What should I do, I want to be with her so much and marry her but she says she still not ready for marriage?
What's your goal with marriage? You want kids? Or is it just to be married as an indication that you're committed to each other for life?
Are you both out of school? Have decent pay jobs or a pretty clear career path?
If you have specific goals you might want to talk about them.
I dunno dude. Maybe ask her what kind of time frame she sees this happening? Because otherwise it seems like "doesn't feel like she's ready" means "not sure you're the right guy for her". Like either there's a real reason why she's feeling like this, or she's holding out to see if someone better will come along.
I also don't get why you have to spend a lot of time and money on proposing.
I have no idea. Around 1 year mark we discussed about getting married and she said she would get married to me sometimes. Now she's reject my proposals twice. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her but I want her to marry me.
>I don't want to lose her but I want her to marry me.
I'm sorry, OP, but this isn't going to work. Let her go.
Getting married is not something to be done lightly, and it's perfectly acceptable to take some time to be sure you're ready. It's even perfectly acceptable to decide that you aren't ready, provided that, having already taken some time to think about it, you understand why. But there are limits.
It has been two and a half years since the last time you asked her to marry you. I cannot say whether or not she wants to marry you. But I strongly suspect that she can't either. Despite the fact that you've already proposed to her -despite the fact that you have nade your intentions absolutely clear in no uncertain terms- she hasn't even been thinking about marrying you.
This, in and of itself, speaks volumes. She says that she isn't ready to marry you, and this is true: she is not. But if this is the way she thinks about such things, then she is never going to be ready. Not unless something major changes, and that's a change your relationship is unlikely to survive.
Here; I'll give you a sample:
"I'm ready to get married. You're not. I respect that, but it means I have to let you go. I'm sorry, but marriage is something I need. I can't force you into something you don't want, but in that case, this just isn't working for us."
If she responds that this isn't what this is about, then add the following:
"Then what do you need? I won't stay in a relationship that isn't giving us both what we need: I can't sacrifice me, and I won't sacrifice you. But I don't know what you need, and that's making this unbearably frustrating. I need to know, and I need to know soon. Take whatever time you need, but I can't wait forever, so put this at the top of your list".
Your stupid. Everyone gets old, its life. Shes only 3yrs older anyways.
Someone like you would die old and alone because you tried to chase younger woman your whole life but no girl wants you cause your old and wrinkly.
At 28 and 31, after 4 years of dating if she's not ready by now she probably never will be. Decide if you're okay with the idea of never getting married. Otherwise, it's time to move on.
Before breaking up, however, you could try talking to her to find out why she doesn't want to get married. Maybe she's afraid of commitment, for example.
Most women want to marry; if she doesn't want to marry you she doesn't want to marry you.
Why the fuck would you keep trying to marry the same woman that DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU?
She'll eventually dump you anyway, prepare your anus.
As other anons have said, it sounds like she doesn't want to marry you.
I think it's probably worth one last conversation, just tell her that you want to get married, so if she doesn't then you will have to move on. However even if she says then and there "okay I'll marry you", consider your options wisely, and judge for yourself whether you think she actually wants to or whether she's just trying to appease you for five minutes.
You should probably move on OP, never a good thing to hear but tough decisions are an irremovable fact of life. Rip the band aid my son.