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Previous Abortion

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My wife of 3 years apparently got an abortion back when we were dating. She didnt tell me because she didnt think we were in a place to have kids.
Im fucking devastated. Not only am I against abortion, it was my child. Im so furious Im literally thinking about a divorce.
Am I over reacting? Or is this reasonable rage because I dont think Im in a place to think rationally.
>>
>>16810816
Fuck off
>>
>>16810816
I think the breach of trust is the far more serious issue, the fact that she hid it from you.
>>
It's been three years, and you cannot change the past. IMO you are overreacting.
>>
>>16810816
She kept something huge like that from you.

That's important and a huge breech of trust. But diviorce is a serious thing and you need to sit down and talk.
>>
It doesn't matter if you're overreacting. What's done is done. You can either forgive her for hiding this from you, or you can let the resentment eat away at your marriage. The choice is yours
>>
>>16810830
"But bro I cheated on you 3 years ago, get over it."

That's now how trust works.
>>
>>16810830
It takes 10 years to get away with a crime. We might be around 4 now. But no its not okay.
>>16810827
Yeah I feel the breach of trust thing. But theres much more to what Im feeling. Indescribable betrayal but I cant tell why. I feel like everything is a lie and Im with a terrible person.
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>>16810840
>That's now how trust works.

I agree.
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>>16810839
Dont forget divorce.
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>>16810846
That's an option, yes. It's the outcome if the resentment destroys their relationship. But someone who doesn't believe in abortion probably isn't too comfortable with the idea of divorce either.
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>>16810838
Ive barely been speaking to her. Its like a ticking time bomb. How exactly do you imagine a talk going because I feel like if I sit with her too long Ill lash out right now.
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>>16810816
>My wife of 3 years apparently got an abortion back when we were dating.
The worst part is she probably took the foetus home and used it to masturbate with on webcam in front of a bunch of japanese businessmen. How do you feel about that OP?
>>
>>16810816
I've thought about what I would do if I was put in a situation similar to this, OP.
In my case I can view abortion as justifiable in no situation, and defensible only in a case where the mother's life is at risk with absolute certainty of death.
I can't say if I would be able to do it if I were put in the actual situation, simply because emotions usually override logical thought in really hard situations, but thinking logically I think it would be best to leave her. Not only is this a massive violation of trust on a scale equal to or comparable with infidelity, it's also the murder of your shared child. Those two things are individually the only two that I think could ever truly justify a divorce, and added together I don't see any other alternative if you're thinking in your right mind and not with your emotions.
Another large issue that brought up by this, that on its own would not justify divorce but certainly aggravates the two above issues is that any woman who would do something like this and keep it from you obviously isn't the person you thought she was.
All in all, I think it would be best to separate yourself from her for at least a week so you can create some kind of disconnect between the issue and your emotions. Then think about it from a rational perspective and decide whether it's worth carrying on the marriage. Personally, I think you are completely justified in this anger and divorce is a completely understandable response. This is a really shitty situation and it sucks you have to go through it, good luck.
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>>16810839
Eating away feels like you are implying Im going to stay with her and let this go while being bitter. Im honestly thinking of leaving now.
>>16810852
I do feel like people should give it their all and try to work things out before a divorce. But she already pulled the trigger.
Especially if there are kids involved people she look at whats important. We were talking about having kids and this came up. I dont want kids with her right now. Really ever. If I could choose the mother of my child its not her. Fuck Im so depressed. Im not sure I mean that.
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>>16810863
Don't make the decision to leave her right now when you're still emotional about this. If you must, take a week away from her, staying with some friends or family, or even at a motel. Take that time to think about whether this is something you can get over, or whether this is something that you actually can't work out. Talk to friends and family about it and see what they think as well. But don't make a rash decision right now.
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>>16810857
Right now my anger for whats shes done is greater than the joy i feel from our marriage. But its probably just me twisting my love for her into hate from being betrayed.
I really do just want to up and divorce her. But I also feel like I should talk to her and I like to give everyone a chance. I dont like going into discussions like this with my mind made up. I might try the week off thing. We were looking at a vacation in april but I might just blow some of that money on a get away just for myself.
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>>16810867
Yeah, brb. Gonna take a mile jog to see if it helps.
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>>16810857
YOU
ARE
A
FUCKED
UP
CONSERVATIONIST
LET
THE
WOMAN
NOT
HAVING
CHILD
IF SHE DONT
WAN TO

>>16810853
Please leave her she had the right to abort and you're just being an asshole because you wanted one
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>>16810884
No I dont want a child just yet and I definitely didnt want one then. But thats no excuse for having an abortion. brb
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>>16810884
Calm the fuck down. Abortions are wrong in any reasoned view. Killing yours and someone else's child is disgusting and indefensible.
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>>16810884
>CONSERVATIONIST
I don't think you understand what this word means
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>>16810900
there are too many human beings on this earth to keep every viable fetus
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>>16810905
>there are too many human beings on this earth to keep every viable fetus
If there are too many people, then why don't we start fixing the problem by killing anyone you deem unworthy of life, oh great god of justice.
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>>16810884
>YOU ARE A FUCKED UP CONSERVATIONALIST
But he did not mention anything about the preservation of wildlife, he is mad that his current wife did not inform him of an important choice that she was going to make.
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>>16810908
either kill those who don't know what life is yet
or do random cropping of the human population. we are like deer that have become grossly overpopulated and we are ruining earth
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>>16810920
>either kill those who don't know what life is yet
Why is that any more justified? Because you say so? That's completely illogical.
>or do random cropping of the human population. we are like deer that have become grossly overpopulated and we are ruining earth
Oh, you're a genocidal psychopath. I can understand why you'd say the unintelligent and fucked up things you have then.
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>>16810922
how would you suggest solving the problem of overpopulation?
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>>16810925
How about growing more food, promoting education and hygiene in overpopulated countries, and spreading information and access to contraceptives.
Nah, those things wouldn't work, let's turn to genocide.
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>>16810936
growing more food only strips what little fertile land of earth is left, and it only encourages the idea that the planet can sustain even more people. we need a smarter, more educated population that is also smaller, by a few billion
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>>16810944
>growing more food only strips what little fertile land of earth is left
No it doesn't. Read up on the basics of agriculture.
>and it only encourages the idea that the planet can sustain even more people
It can.
>we need a smarter, more educated population that is also smaller, by a few billion
Or not. There's no reason we need this at all. It's just the ramblings of a genocidal idiot with a fucked up idea of what utopia would be.
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>>16810816
>against abortion
OP you are in the ethical minority here; most academics have concluded that abortion is an entirely okay thing to do
with that out of the way, let's look at the situation a bit closer
your wife wasn't ready to have kids, and so she made the decision to not have kids. honestly, i think you both should have the power to not have a kid if one of you isn't ready for it.
>i'm fucking devastated
why? you didn't lose a -
>it was my child
no, no it wasn't; it was a bunch of cells that hadn't progressed to any sort of significant point
>i'm literally thinking about a divorce
wow
if she didn't know that this was such a big personal deal to you, it's probably your fault for not making it clear
if she did, then that's not too great
again, however, i encourage you to read up on current literature surrounding the "morality" of abortion - it might surprise you and change your opinion if your position on abortion isn't grounded in someone else's interpretation of a religious book
if she did know how nuts this would drive you, regardless of how rational your logic is, she should have still mentioned it to you sooner; for that reason this is worth a serious talk

but divorce? fuck off man and learn to weather the storm with your crew, this is fucking petty. it doesn't sound like you were ready for marriage in the first place.
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>>16810816

It's a group decision but the woman's got a veto for obvious reasons. Unless you're in your 30s and established it probably would have just ruined your life anyway.
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>>16810957
>it was a bunch of cells that hadn't progressed to any sort of significant point
This is bullshit way of thinking. Its just justifying terrible actions done for selfish reasons.
>if she didn't know that this was such a big personal deal to you
Sorry but abortion isnt a minor thing you should assume isnt a big personal deal.
>weather the storm
there are lines that shouldnt be crossed.

I just got back from my run and thought I calmed down but your post is triggering me.
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>>16810972
>this is a bullshit way of thinking
please tell me why

>abortion isn't a minor thing
you have it backwards; "not abortion" is the big thing
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>>16810982
>dehumanize the thing you are killing
Its the oldest trick in the book used to carry out terrible actions in history. Youre not any different.
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>>16810985
>dehumanize the thing you are killing
the thing you are killing isn't human. tell me, what makes it human to you?
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>>16810972

If she had the abortion before she was even showing then it was essentially just stopping the seed from growing any further. You're attributing this to a whole grown kid
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>>16810999
>killing a child is just stopping a seed from growing any further
You can say that about anyone who isnt a fully grown adult.
>>16810998
The fact that its a growing human just like any other child.
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>>16810816

It sucks that she didn't tell you but she obviously did it out of the thought of both your wellbeing. A kid will irreversably change your life and you would probably be a lot more unhappy with it than without at this stage in your life.

The reasons women sometimes won't tell their partners is because they just want to pretend it never happened. If this was hard for you, imagine how painful it was for her.
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>>16810867
This seems like solid advice
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>>16811010

>you can say that about anyone who isn't a full grown adult

No I can say that about things in the first trimester of pregnancy that are essentially just clusters of cells that will at somepoint make a baby. Big difference after second trimester when there's an actual baby with higher brain function.
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>>16810816
Man up.

1 in 3 women have had an abortion. It's not that taboo.
>>
death of a man is a tragedy death of a million is stastics
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>>16811019
Just another arbitrary way of justifying slaughter.
Coma patients arent human right. People sedated arent human right. Because neither of them have this higher order brain function youre talking about.
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>>16811033

Coma patients and sedated people do have higher brain function, if someone lacks this they're declared brain dead.
>>
>>16811010
growing human, just like any other child, huh?
fun fact buddy: with SCNT, every fucking cell in your body is technically a growing child, and you murder millions of those without remorse every day.
moreover, its growing is entirely dependent on your wife's will to go out of her way and carry it; she isn't allowed to drink, will be subject to cravings, and will experience a pretty shitty life while those cells grow. you're placing more emphasis on a cluster of cells (whose development might not have even been guaranteed, with noticeable percentage) than your wife.

>>16811022
gotta love quotes that don't apply

>>16811033
>just another arbitrary way of justifying slaughter
no stranger to hyperbole i guess
why the fuck are you married, your maturity and reasoning doesn't extend far past that of a highschooler's

do your wife a favor and divorce her
>>
There are a lot more fucked up things in the world that people take for granted, a lot of the stuff is so fucking disgusting that there are times when I hope that sun would just blow up and kill us all.

We are literally breeding and genetically modifying animals to grow bigger faster just for profit. Instead of developing and manufacturing items that are durable, repairable and last for a life-time we are doing the opposite and hauling all the replaced items off to some shore in 3rd world country potentially killing thousands to pollution.
Not to mention how a lot of this stuff is produced in said countries in factories that have unbearable working conditions, child labor and barely fraction of the normal wages.

and people get furious when a woman decides to have an abortion because she feels like she's not fit or ready yet to become a parent?
>>
>>16811038
No brain functions shut down when in a coma. A sedation puts you in a state similar to being in a coma. being in a coma only maintains lower level brain functions.
>>
>>16811022
This
Fetuses are unwanted so their deaths are ok.
>>
if you leave the cells alone for nine months they become a human, its not killing a human but its interfering with a process that creates one, eliminating a candidate for the human race. its not a human but i cannot justify interferring with that process, if you literally just dont fuck around with the cells it becomes a person, how can you stop that from happening?
>>
>>16811052

M8 you might want to go look up what it means to be brain dead and how that's different than being in a coma. Higher brain function lowers but it doesn't stop.

Otherwise you'd essentially die and be reborn when you go into a coma or were sedated.

Again, none of this has anything to do that her abortion was probably before there was ever a baby there to begin with. You might as well weep for all the kids who never had a chance to be born since you didn't knock up your wife since.
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>>16811051
glad you're on our side, but
>the existence of bigger problems means we can't worry about smaller problems
is pretty fucked up logic
>>
>>16811049
>every fucking cell in your body is technically a growing child
Oh really. Because Ive never seen any cell in my body grow into a child. Are you telling me that with proper care and nurturing they would become a fully grown human in time.
Every child is dependent. That doesnt justify anything.
Sorry but I dont want a wife who murders my child.
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>>16811066

Uh one of your sperm cells contributed to becoming a faetus before it got coat hangered
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>>16811062
>leave the cells alone for nine months they become a human
this is untrue
but go ahead, knock up your wife, go out, party, ignore her cravings, go on roller coaster rides
let me know how leaving those cells alone for nine months turned out
>>
>>16811063
You need to look up what a coma is. The higher functions stop. But that doesnt mean they cant be started a again and they are tended to with medical care for this reason.

I dont even know why you guys have me arguing about abortion. Its just sickening to think I married someone like this.
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>>16811066

You can either just sit there and torture yourself with hyperbole or you can accept why early term abortions aren't the monstrocities of nature that you label them as.

One results in you becoming happier and accepting what happened and the other means you divorce your wife and shit post on /tv/
>>
>>16811049
>fun fact buddy: with SCNT, every fucking cell in your body is technically a growing child, and you murder millions of those without remorse every day.
Yeah, but none of those cells will be able to develop into children themselves, while a fertilized egg will develop into a child by itself.

>>16811073
Once again, a sperm cell can not develop into a fetus by itself.
>>
>>16811073
So If I nurture my sperm cells they become a person? How much time does it take a sperm cell to become a person. What exactly should I do to help them develop. Where do they come out at.
Reproduction takes 2.
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>>16811082
How do you marry someone without having a conversation about if/when they want to start a family?
>>
>>16811082

Again, they don't cease. Coma patients do not experience brain death.

We're arguing with you because you're tearing yourself apart over hyperbole. If you accept the truth you'll come out of this just fine.
>>
>>16811049
You claim the right to interfere with the process that creates a human, I do not. Nothing to do with intelligence, just morality.
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>>16811066
>are you telling me
yes i am, did you even look up SCNT? developing a child is a long process that requires the maintenance of a certain environment (i.e. proper care and nurturing)
>every child is dependent. that doesn't justify anything
what the hell are you even addressing here
no one said it was mere dependence that justified murder
we are saying that you need to reevaluate what it means to be human

>>16811089
see >>16811076
it addresses your point
egg + sperm != person
>>
>>16811089
>>16811090

>contributed

Average conservitards
>>
>>16811086
Yeah because its always easier to join the side thats doing the slaughtering then stick to your beliefs. Fuck you.
>>
>>16811097
holy fuck
you bet your ass i do, and there is nothing wrong with that
you interfere with it everytime you pull out you faggot
>>
>>16811097

You interfere with that process with a condom too. Many birth control pills used to essentially just force a very, very early term abortion.

But no my identity politics tell me I have to hate this thing and I'll ruin my life to do so. Go ahead
>>
What will be the next thing she doesnt feel comfortable telling you?
>>
>>16811099
No you just dont know what SCNT is and youre using the idea incorrectly. Your cell will never become a child by itself no matter how much you nurture it.
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>>16811104

By your logic you slaughter millions of babies each time you jack off. What a noble truth your morality has revealed.
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>>16811108
allowing fertilized cells to develop and not allowing them to make contact is different, if you don't understand that, you don't understand anything about why I can't give myself the right. You give me the terrible impression of someone who has never read the arguments of the side opposed to their own
>>
>>16811066
I get it op, your wife murdered your child, so you resent her for that. It's not that she didn't tell you that hurt you deeply, but that he hid from you her true nature. That for her own interest she would do away with your child behind your back . The genie is out of the bottle, you have to deal with it. Don't make a rash decision, calm down and talk to your wife about what you think about this. Don't listen to the slut army here wanting to justify their lack of responsibility and compassion.
>>
>>16811117
How long do you have to nurture a sperm cell until it becomes a baby.
I didnt know sperm developed into children if you didnt jack off.
>>
>>16810816
Are we really going to have an abortion thread 24/7 with pointless arguments?
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>>16811122

What's different about it.

There's nothing magical about a fertilized egg. It's a biological machine that sets up the factory that makes the baby a few months later. Stopping it there versus stopping it on her stomach isn't different at all.


There's a very good reason why abortions are generally illegal after a certain point except in cases of emergencies and that's because there really is a little person there by that point.

Before then you might as well just start humanizing your sperm because it's just arbitrary at that point
>>
>>16811133
Apparently 1 in 3 women get an abortion so its not surprising.
>>
>>16811133
It's better than your pegging and anal threads.
>>
>>16811112
the process of not terminating a candidate for the human race and the one of actively preventing that candidate to be conceived are two separate processes, why is this a hard concept to grasp
>>
>>16811130

But they could have if you had just deposited them into a sperm bank and used them later you monster. You interrupted a natural uninterrupted process that leads to new life and you are a murderer for stopping it
>>
>>16811136
People really love 10,000 year old arguements
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>>16811115
SCNT
somatic cell nuclear transfer
the implantation of a somatic cell nucleus into an embryo which has had its embryo removed
in a way, its similar to the process of allowing a sperm to fuse with an egg
the point here is that every fucking cell in your body, as a result, technically has the potential of becoming a human being
but "potential to be a human" does not equate to "being a human"
even if you tighten the requirements on potential in some arbitrary way (hurr the fertilized egg) you still neglect the fact that the effort to encourage its development and actually make it into a person far outweighs the effort to hinder it
the events leading up to the birth of a baby are not part of some Rube Goldberg machine

>>16811122
again, it's not just "allowing", it's "making it possible every day"
>terrible impression blah blah
trust me buddy, i'm religious and i spent a good deal of my childhood raised in the south. not that i need to say this to justify my reasoning, but i really don't want to give you any sort of opportunity (irrational or not) to feel like you're "right" on this matter
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>>16811141

Because the difference between the two occurs much later than what you're willing to accept and isn't based on anything you haven't seen a politician say.
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>>16811143
Oh so sperm when nurtured in a sperm bank become a child. I always though your needed an egg and some nonsense about fertilization. I didnt know that sperm cells were developing children. Biology as we know it has always been wrong. Why do women even exist.
>>
>>16811150
>technically has the potential of becoming a human being
Not by itself. A cell can fuse with something else and become a human being. The cell itself will never become a human being. Implantation is not nurturing.
>>
>>16811155
>this guy is married
someone shoot me
>>
>>16811166
Just go back in time and have you mother get an abortion.
>>
Gonna chat with her for a sec. Really hope she doesnt feed me the same bullshit you guys have been saying.
Heres to hoping it doesnt end in immediate separation not that it really matters at this point.
>>
Look OP, if neither of you had a conversation about such an important matter before getting married, both of you fucked up and neither of you can be mad at the other for operating on terms you magically expected them to know.

You should've talked to her. She should've known how you felt about abortions, rather than you assuming she's "decent" or has "morals" when it comes to having children. If you hadn't brought it up, she should've talked to you. It's astounding that the conversation of having kids never seems to have come up for either of you.

She didn't think it was a good time for you to have kids. She wanted to wait until your lives were in a place where you could better care for your child. Not "my child"--it was both of yours. Assuming she immediately said "kill that fucker" as soon as she realized she was pregnant isn't a great assumption to make about your own wife.

tl;dr you guys should've talked about this so that you could've avoided this situation
>>
>>16811151
Notice that I said candidate, not a human. Cells arent humans, abortion isnt murder, its preventing a potential human. I think any morally competent person would rather have, in the worst of cases, a shitty life and another human, rather then preventing that person.

everything youve said about me, like the politician thing has been off the mark and is demonstrating to me that you dont fully understand what youre talking about
>>
>>16811164
>the cell itself will never become a human being
oh, so it's okay to kill it then? then what's the issue with killing a fertilized egg? it won't become a human without a maintained environment and conscious efforts regarding it
a growing zygote is constantly "fusing" with other cells, by the way; it won't become a human being on its own

>implantation is not nurturing
i agree with you, although implanting the result of the SCNT process into the womb will result in a baby given the right circumstances
>>
>>16811178
Maybe if she talked about the abortion we wouldnt be here. Literally looking up divorces right now.
>>
Abort this relationship, that is outrageous. Imagine if you killed ber cat three years ago, she'd label you a fucking psychopath, and probably have you jailed. Just because abortion is legal, and socially acceptable doesn't mean it is morally acceptable.

And even if you're a die-hard pro-choicer, the fact that she kept something so big from you for so long is also unacceptable.
>>
My wife suggested marriage counseling after seeing how serious I was about this. Should I do it. I feel like itd be a waste of time and I really hate therapist.
>>
>>16810816
Your wife was right to not tell you, you're being a huge faggot about it. Especially since you've resorted to crying on 4chinz.
>>
>>16811420
Yeah just hide all of the awful things you do from your partner. Its not cheating if you dont get caught right.
>>
>>16811403
What was her opinion on the subject?
>>
>>16811426
>comparing abortion to cheating

your tears are palpable
>>
This isn't a good thing, but torching you marriage is not going to make it right. Why did she just tell you now? She probably has some guilt over this child as well. I would really suggest you look into couples counseling first.
>>
>>16810888
>didn't want kids then
>doesn't want kids right now
>still angry
Are you serious? I can understand the anger because she did hide this from you but it seems incredibly irrational that you're angry at her over something you didn't want back then. You weren't prepared for kids 3 years ago and you didn't want that child. She made a choice based on what she knew about you at the time.
>>
>>16811428
Its not like we could have a calm conversation right now. She said it was her choice and we started arguing.
>>
>>16811436
I dont want a lot of things, doesnt mean taking measures to stop them is right.
>>
>>16811441
Go counseling, see how it goes. If they just want to blame you, brainwash you or guilt trip you leave.
>>
>>16810884
His wife hid something from him. That's a lie.

Even if you believe she did have the right, she had something she knew would hurt him and kept it from him.

That's terrible.

I wouldn't diviorce her. But I would let her know the foundation of our marriage was rocked by her lie.
>>
>>16811452
P. S. :don't believe people who tell you this is an insignificant problem. My uncle's marriage went to shit from the exact same problem. He wanted a third child, his wife aborted it behind his back.
>>
>>16811433
We were talking about kids. Not just about having them, but about birth control methods as well. Would we be okay if she got pregnant. Is now a good time. Then she said it to contrast how we previously werent ready.
>>
I can get why she would do what she did but the fact that she hid this information from you is pretty bad. If you can't trust her to tell you that she's considering abortion, what can you trust her with? As for a divorce, how bad is the relationship? Is that the only major thing that's happened or was there multiple occurrences of bullshit? Do you feel you would be better off without her? I would bring it up in as calm of a manner as you can. If you can talk about it, the marriage might be saved. If the connection you two once had is really that bad however, divorce might be the best option.
>>
>>16811449
Would you have been prepared for that child at all though?
>>
>>16811484
The thing is Im not sure I want to save the marriage. Everything has been pretty good so far but that was just because I was ignorant. If I knew she got an abortion I doubt I would have married her.
>>16811488
No, definitely would have been blindsided. Scared. Shaken. Probably would not have the job I have now.
>>
>>16810816

>getting an abortion without father consent in a case outside of rape

Remind again why this is fucking legal.
>>
leave her that is unacceptable she should have atleast told you before you married her
>>
>>16811550
Same reason medical history is private. They feel women will use dangerous methods if backed into a corner.
>>
>>16811601

I feel like there has to be some kind of solution which doesn't deny men reproductive rights while still making women feel safe.
>>
>>16811506
As I said before, if the connection you guys once had is lost, divorce isn't a bad option. At least give it some thought before you make a decision you'll regret. You mention you're not in a place to think rationally, so give yourself a bit to calm down if at all possible. Divorce might be the right thing to do, yes. Give it some time though so you know you're making the right decision.
>>
>>16810816
7 BILLION people
2/3 of the world is facing severe water shortages
Your wife made the intelligent move
>>
>>16811631
Over population is easy to deal with when there are less selfish people in the world. People in rural and poverished conditions have around 10 children. Because its a safety thing. With 10 kids you have 10 more hands to work and you get security knowing that you have 10 kids to take care of you when you cant work.
>>
>>16811609
Not really if you believe abortion should be legal.
>>
>>16811613
Im going to give it some time. I might try marriage counseling but I have 0 expectations for it. Ill probably go stay somewhere else and blow a lot of money I had saved on stupid shit to take my mind off it.
Its not like I dont love her. I just hate what she did and Cant look passed it.
>>
>>16810816
You are completely overreacting.
You are bringing a life into the world without its consent. You better be goddamn sure you can give it the best advantage you can or youre risking creating a miserable life that, if it had a choice, would not have existed at all.

One factor that qualifies as good reason to reconsider; either parent unsure of wanting it.

Last thing you need when starting to be alive in this crazy ass confusing world is the further knowledge yo werent entirely wanted to begin with. What a slap in tje face.
All of the above plus the fact its a goddamn group of cells without even a hint of a developed consciousness yet.

Stop being a selfish douche this world is bullshit and youre actually sitting there telling me you WANT to be responsible for another soul enduring this bullshit. Fuck you.
>>
>>16811665
Its too late once the child is already there.
>>
>>16811670
Thats what abortions are for. It isnt a thing yet. It has no consciousness or memory or cognition. Abortions are unbelievably humane in that respect.
>>
>>16811679

To be fair, that depends on whether the abortion is pre- or post- third trimester
>>
>>16811679
>humane way of killing
kek
>>
>>16811679
1st trimester is best while in the 2nd/3rd they actually Have to tear your cervix open inside to get at the fetus and remove the body by disembowlment. Your vag has a better chance of healing if you actually give birth.
>>
>>16811684
>to be fair
That is definitely fair but only considering i dont know why third trimester is chosen by law

It could be science based, it could be emotion based. That will decide whether thats true or not and i dont feel like doing research right now.

But i do feel in the first trimester you should have a pretty good idea of whether or not you should be having it. Which still renders third trimester a fair cutoff time.

But I have a serious problem with how many peoples lifes just suck and should have been aborted for their own sake, when the only reason was mom or dad said "omggg thats my babyy i cant kill it it has feelings!"

Fuckin stupid.

I should add my lifes awesome so this isnt from personal resentment.
>>
>>16811719
No feelings, no emotions, no experience, no sense of sentiment, no opinion..

Now what could be inhumane at all about killing this future human before being born below the poverty line or to a parent who didnt want you?
>>
>>16811021
This is completely untrue and you knew it when you posted this bait.
>>
>>16810816
Assuming you're young, it would have ruined both of your lives and created a horrible childhood for your potential child. In this case it was the responsible thing to do and you should probably thank her.
>>
>>16811744
>killing the poor unwanted people of the world is humane
kek
>>
>>16810816
Dated a girl that had an abortion from her previous relationship

That was the final straw for me. I was so grossed out I couldn't even have sex with her anymore. Idk how you can still bang a girl after a kid/abortion
>>
>>16810816
lol
>>
>>16811790
That is a very selfish opinion.
>>
>>16811133
I was wondering when you'd make your appearance lol
>>
>>16811665
My sentiments exactly! This world is shitty and it's so irresponsible to have kids when both parents aren't ready/poor/unstable/etc. If you're gonna bring your spawn into this shitty life you'd better have a welcome wagon and a twelve course banquet waiting for it.
>>
>>16810816
I support abortion and I really think your wife was being incredibly unreasonable for not talking to you. Early in my marriage, I was in a similar situation and I considered going off and getting an abortion myself. But that's a dick move and I talked it out with the husband. There were lots of tears. Anyway, even if it's a one-night stand, the other person is entitled to know. I know it's really hard but you two really need to sit down and have a calm discussion. This definitely calls for some time apart.

I just can't help but wonder what else she's hiding from you, anon.
>>
>>16810816
Chill out, it wasn't your body (so not your decision) and it wasn't your kid - they weren't born yet. The only problem I can see is she never told you - that suggests much bigger problems/issues of trust.
>>
Divorce OP.
Women can be manipulative and sly, she went behind your back and did this knowing full well she could have talked to you about it and convinced you to let her abort the baby.

If she could achieve this, what else has she achieved to hide from you? She is capable of doing fucked up shit and not telling you then pretending she is happy and everything is normal for years on end. I would not be surprised if there was more.

These girls are fucked up and they will only do what benefits themselves. Leave her before you find out what more she's done.
>>
>>16812948
A person's life is more important than petty trust issues fucktard. Also it was his kid. You know it takes a mommy and daddy to make a child right? Not just a woman.
>>16812953
I agree with this. Maybe she isn't deceiving you but still abortion is something that bears discussion before action.
>>
I love coming into threads like these and reading all the toxic bullshit spewed from people who still believe abortion is wrong.
>>
>>16813006
>I love coming into threads like these and reading all the toxic bullshit spewed from people who still believe killing jews is wrong.
If only Htiler won.
>>
>>16810816
You need to beat your wife, so you can get an oulet for all that anger. Then divorce her.
>>
>>16811441
I don't want to mess up your marriage but I will say that she will do this again if she feels the need.

She will also teach her daughters (if you have them) that an abortion is the right and sensible choice for them too and to keep it from their partners.

This is true, you know it.
>>
>>16810816
Just a bit. She isn't your baby making factory, despite what you may have heard. That said, she should have consulted you. Long story short, you didn't have a leg to stand on then and only half of one now. Leave if you must, but this is going to be ugly no matter what direction you go in, it seems.
>>
>>16810900
Guess it's okay to rape away then, anon.
>>
>>16810816
Justified rage. Divorce that bitch
>>
>>16813226
What I am getting at is that in arranging to, travelling to, performing, and recovering from this act - in secret.. She violated what she may have suspected (knew) to be one of your most important values. She knew it, and covered up the fact. Heaven knows why she has told you now but it strikes me as a massive red flag and I fully appreciate how sad and disappointed you must feel because I would guess the women you know has gone as much as if she dropped down dead. This could be the pivotal point in your relationship because in order to 'date' a woman like her your values must make a massive shift. First you would have to accept a women with an abortion under her belt and also you have to accept a woman who WILL lie to your face at any time because she feels it is her right to do so. I understand everyone has their own space but on an issue such as this it is a massive betrayal that will very easily occur again. And what's worse is - you would not even know it!

To be with her once more - you literally need to start again, because the woman you thought you knew is dead.
>>
>>16813229
blame nature for the fact that woman have to bear children. doesnt excuse killing them.
>>
>>16810816
Men are expected to be heartless creatures, and not care about their kids. Even having a reaction to having your wife scramble your kid got someone upset.

It's pretty strange really. If a man found out his gf/wife was pregnant, and then slipped her abortion pills, he'd be a monster. If a woman kills it, it's okay and you are over reacting. Do what you want OP, this topic is more about emotions than logic. However I'd want rid of her.
>>
>>16813226
This hits hard.
>>
>>16813288
just out of interest- do you eat meat?
>>
>>16813332
No but why?
>>
>>16810816
since you clearly posses the maturity of a four year old I'll put this into small words.
You'd make an awful husband to anyone
She probably felt terrible about it all this time and was hoping that you'd be there for her.
Shame on you OP for being an over reactive and controlling husband, I think a divorce would've happened eventually anyway
And while we're on religion, you must be a terrible Christian to not even grasp the basic concept Christ taught us; forgiveness
>Let he who is without sin throw the first stone
>let no man separate what God hath brought together
You must be pure as silver to throw stones at her like that huh buddy?
>>
>>16813340
You dont have to be pure to throw a stone and murders. Who cares if she feels bad.
>>
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>>16810884
>CONSERVATIONIST
>>
>>16813340
>She probably felt terrible about it all this time and was hoping that you'd be there for her.
You cant be there for everyone. There are lines you shouldnt cross.
>needing religion to telling abortion is wrong
>>
>>16813344
My point is made

Actually read the bible before you claim to Christian

On top of that, even you can't be so twisted into believing you can force her to have your children, she probably had no idea if you were going to get married (and I can't blame her for having her reservations seeing how you're not only not there for her but are controlling as fuck)

Shame on you OP, you're not a man but a twisted child
>>
>>16813363
>youre a twisted child because you condemn murder
Your opinion is really valid.
>>
>>16813369
More-so than yours
Is it murder every time you fap?
Is it muder every time she has her period?
Is it murder every time you get blood drawn at the doctors?

If she had the operation done immediately then it's not murder

If she waited until the second trimester deadline, then you have a point, as it would have a heart, a brain and human form.

So really the question that therein lies is WHEN she had it done.
>>
>>16813386
>its not murder
how delusional murderers are.
>>
Maybe she didn't want to have a kid out of wedlock. So many complications arise when you have kids before marriage
>>
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>>16813400
>has no argument showing it's murder because obviously it isn't
I take it she did it immediately then, and you haven't refuted any of my questions

So by your own logic you commit murder on a daily (or soon to be daily, because HURR divorce) basis
>>
>>16813400

You didn't address the point. A fetus, especially at early stages of development, is nothing but a collection of mechanical cells. Nothing more.

Here's a fun dilema for the moral fags. If all babies go to Heaven, and you believe life begins at conception, isn't it more merciful to just kill the babies and send them straight to heaven?
>>
>>16812958
>A person's life etc
It wasn't a person, it was a fetus.
>It was his kid
No it wasn't, his kid was never born.
>It takes a mummy and daddy etc
The problem is the fetus grows inside the body of only one parent - logically, they have final say no matter what.
>>
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>>16810816
This is what happens when you put trust on woman.
Let this serve as a lesson.
You are a fool for considering marriage in the first place, just salvage whatever you can and try to live for your own self from now on.
>>
>>16813422
Moralfags sent all Christians. You question us stupid.
>>
>>16813601
0/10 misogynist
fuck off back to /b/
>>
Question for OP - are you a Christian? Serious question.
>>
>>16810816
> She didnt tell me because she didnt think we were in a place to have kids.

She should have told you about it, yes. But it's her decision as to whether she wants to carry and raise a child for at least 18 years.

>. Not only am I against abortion, it was my child. Im so furious Im literally thinking about a divorce.

It COULD HAVE BEEN your child which could have been born (if you waited 9 months of incubation) had both parents decided to raise the child. As >>16813516 said, it's a fetus so far and you can't guilt trip her into thinking she's "killed" your child, since it's no where near the stage of being a child, with rights yet.

>Am I over reacting? Or is this reasonable rage because I dont think Im in a place to think rationally.

You are over-reacting. It's her choice when all comes down to it.

You're angry (justifiably) that she didn't consult (although she has final say) you about your future and that she lied/ommited some part of her life which you deserve to know about. This is why you're reasonably angry with her and only mega-feminists ("she didn't have to tell him anything, it's her decision, he could have influenced her decision") would not agree with you there.

The other reason you're angry is because you're anti-abortion and wrongly equate this situation with murder. You may think she's murdered your son (which we cannot convince you otherwise, evidence alone will) but the flip side is that she's took the best decision for the benefit of your family ("She din't think we were suitable to have kids atm").

Don't divorce her, talk with her.
>>
>>16813991
This is a christian image board.
>>
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>>16814038
>the best decision for the benefit of your family
>killing your children is the best decision for your family
Thread posts: 170
Thread images: 8


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