My boyfriend and I are approaching our one year anniversary. I asked him if he wanted to celebrate and he said we could just get food from Outback Steakhouse or something.
I don't mind simple celebrations like getting good food. But I know for a fact that he went all our for his ex for their one year anniversary. He bought her flowers, chocolates, and they spent three days at Universal in Orlando for a romantic weekend.
I can also name a number of occasions where he has mentioned things he did for her, that he hasn't done for me.
>bf just wants to get food for one year anniversary.
> for his ex, he took her to Universal in Orlando for a romantic weekend and bought her flowers.
> is it wrong of me to think I don't mean as much compared to her?
We all go all out in early relationships. It's not that he particularly cared more for her than you, but that he was a faggot and overcompensated for insecurity with lavish trips and shit. Stop being a shallow cunt and get you a nice steak, sweetheart.
Why the fuck do women have to throw a fucking fit over nothing?
Or more importantly, why don't you just, I don't know, ASK HIM?
If it bothers you, ASK HIM. If it doesn't, DON'T. IT'S FUCKING SIMPLE.
It's stupid. I did a lot of shit for my first gf. You know why? Because I was fucking stupid at that point. I thought I was supposed to throw away all of this money or they'd leave me for instance. I'm much more laid back nowadays.
If you feel like you're being neglected, talk to him. But you arent by your own admission, you're just trying to compare two totally separate relationships without any of the relevant context. If you really think it's all that important talk to him, but odds are it'll just ruin the mood for him especially on valentines of all days.
That might be exactly why he's not going all-in. His last relationship where he went full out ended poorly - and the glamour of an anniversary is tainted with the fact that it's really just a day like any other day. The specialness comes from who you're spending it with, not how.
But people want to trump up some super awesome amazing whirlwind of activity and romance and passion and blah blah blah as what the relationship should really be about.
It's not that you don't mean as much. It's that he's already done the impressive song and dance, and saw that it went nowhere - so why bother doing it a second time? Going to 100% maximum effort still ended with failure and disappointment. Why do it all again? And it's not that he thinks you two are destined to fail - it's that he sees there's no point in the extra effort.
Pretty much this.
For valentines day, I took my ex (first ever long term relationship) on a vacation across the country. I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on her, just for a dumb holiday, then she ended up cheating on me after 3 years.
3 relationships later, I'm with a girl who is easily 10x better in every way, shape, and form compared to my first ex. All I'm doing for her for Valentines day is taking her to dinner. Does it mean I like my ex more than her? No, I'm just not young, stupid, and insecure like I was.
tl;dr, it doesn't mean anything. He's been with you for a year, he obviously likes you. There's probably 100+ things you've done for an ex that you haven't done for your current bf, get over it.
I had an ex like this. It's one thing when you're a demanding girlfriend but even if you aren't something feels weird about being knowing your dude went all out for her and not for you.
I would just ask him OP. If yours is like how mine was and he straight up says he'll never do anything special, then drop him
I understand what y'all are saying by going all out for your first girlfriend/love. It isn't that he went all out for her. But that he really doesn't do all that much for me in terms of making holidays special or going out of his way to make me feel special.
He didn't do anything romantic for Valentine's day. My birthday is in three days, and he doesn't have anything planned. And just a dinner date like Outback for our anniversary soon. He also didn't get me anything for Christmas. I got him a limited edition Gameboy from back in the day that he always wanted, plus like every Pokemon game.
I thought I was a rebound in the beginning. But we work together. We live together now. He always talked about our future together, even within the first two months. Why would he do all that if I'm just a rebound? And why leave his ex if he wasn't over her?
>He also didn't get me anything for Christmas
Which is exactly what my family does for each other. That carries over into my relationships, because I see no point in just throwing away money.
Plus I mean sure, you got him a nice christmas present. But he's the one making all of these events, which adds up quickly. I'd rather go out more frequently to low key events than a few overpriced ones.
Your relationship sounds incredibly one-sided, at least when it comes to material things. Did you not discuss a budget or anything? Or do you just go crazy spending money on him and assume he's doing the same for you?
I don't really go crazy spending money on him. I bought him that present for Christmas. Then i took him out for dinner last year for his birthday, which was like 120$. Some little chocolates for Valentine's and a copy of a Masterball from Pokemon that he really wanted. In total, for presents, I've probably only spent like 300 or 400 dollars.
We live together, but we both get paid decently. He has no debt. I have student loans, but still make plenty after that payment. We live comfortably. So its not like he can't afford it.
How in the world does that total $150-200? And anyway, it seems like he's taking you for granted. You need to talk to him about this, but not in a way that makes you seem like you're playing the victim or just being whiny.
Perhaps he realized that valetines day and other holidays are just commercialized gimmicks designed to drain the wallet? Also he could be testing you to see if you would make a big deal out of (relatively speaking) basically nothing.
Does he spend his time with you on these days? Christ almighty, it seems like no matter what it's never even for women
To begin with I was siding with the advice that people were giving about he was too keen in previous relationship and now he's level headed out. However, getting you nothing for Christmas and nothing for Valentines. It sounds like you're in a relationship with a man that isn't interested in making effort.
If you want to do things with your partner. Take trips away (providing both of you pay), go places, do things and your boyfriend is just sitting on the couch - you're going to have to explain that to him, that you'd like to be a little more active when it comes to doing stuff together. If he's not interested, you'll need to consider if these things are important to you. If they are, you should consider breaking up if he plans to do nothing about it.
I am a man, I game and do my usual indoorsy type stuff, but when I'm in a relationship I don't just sit around. I don't spoil my GFs if I'm in a relationship, but I do make the effort to go out and do fun shit together. The idea itself that I want to go to a nice hotel for the weekend where we both pay is usually enough to keep girls I'm with happy.