I didn't cheat, I didn't steal. I said I'm not sure if I trust him because he becomes an ass when he's drunk and asked to look at his phone (didn't find anything)but he ended it. Almost 3 weeks later he's still really mad, and he's kept me "hanging". He said yeah maybe I'll call you the first time things went to shit, I messaged him back a few times and got nothing. Saw him at the bar the other day, tried talking to him. He was looking at me but SUPER hesitant to talk when I asked him to. Said he didn't want to "ruin his night by arguing" but eventually said "look just message me friday or saturday when i'm off of work" and "if you want to be together you'll need a major attitude change" messaged him yesterday, no response.. I didn't think he was this immature, not to even message me and say "sorry it's over". I've never dealt with this before so it's weird. Why is he holding such a grudge? Is he just waiting for me to keep begging and "learn a lesson"? He said he's been seeing my messages when I saw him at the bar :/
What do I say at this point? I know most will say let it go it's not worth it, but damn guys... this petty silent treatment shit is wtf, and if he's seeing my messages I want to say something to get him to understand me
Yeah, right? I CAN understand being hurt by your partner telling you they're untrusting of you, and shit like that, and we had a lot of arguments in general but... this is the way to treat someone who cheated on you or something really bad. :/
is he just going to ignore me forever and keep my texts to laugh at, or he really wants to teach me a lesson, or wtf?
Even if he told me what he did the other day to keep from there being a scene, a text the next day would suffice "hey it's over and im not going to talk this weekend"
he probably doesn't want to deal with what he imagines your reaction is going to be. people use the silent treatment because it eventually works.
and honestly, why do you care? cause your ego is hurt, just accept that he doesn't like you anymore for whatever reason and move on.
>Ignoring you for this long but saying he got your texts
OP you gotta pull something just as immature as he's doing.
>Tell him you saved up some money and want to take a trip somewhere fun, you'll pay for everything
>He'll think haha wow ok why not? Me ignoring her sure has made her putty in my hands.
>Tell him to bring some money just incase
>Start driving about 2-3 hours away toward your "destination"
>When he has to go to the bathroom, find a gas station and wait until he goes.
>Get the car started and zip the fuck out of there.
>Don't block him either, but never respond to him ever again.
Hahaha, I don't have the heart to do that. Even people who have wronged me really REALLY bad I end up speaking to as friends and letting down so I couldn't manage to keep this guy stranded a few hours away from home with no car or anything.
yeah it sucks, but you gotta stop letting other people define your worth. you probably feel shitty because you invested a lot of time and he dropped you like it was nothing. it's okay, it doesn't make you the bad person and his opinion shouldn't make you feel less.
it's perfectly legal, there's no law against it. you're just a huge dickhead for doing it.
it's not that easy.. and it's more like being surprised at how shitty people can be and how friends, family, etc can just give up like that. Also a look into how people work, knowing we're not all that different and everyone's a see-saw.. if that makes sense.
I appreciate your response though :(
I took a shot in the dark and missed, sorry. but yeah people can be extremely shitty, you just gotta find people who are less shitty and be reserved around people you feel are shitty.
op here, since its saturday, should i message him again and say "hey look its saturday, let's just have a civil, calm talk between us. i was really looking forward to it, and at least i just don't want there to be a grudge between us and wish each other the best. you leaving me hanging like this isn't helpful and it really hurts."
or something like that
i kind of want to be like "hey why did you say lets talk this weekend if you werent planning on it? why are you holding such a strong grudge against me over what happened, to the point you leave me hanging like this rather than just messaging me and telling me that it's over? :/"
i mean it was a relationship before hand, we spoke and hung out and cuddle and did things together. I'm getting the silent treatment now, though, because of that whole phone thing. I thought I had decent self esteem, honestly, but when he gets drunk he flirts with girls and i thought i'd find something
I'm not sure, anon :/ I have no idea at all. When I saw him at the bar the other day he said "if you want to get back together, etc..." which made me think he was willing to work it out if we could patch up things so we don't argue. I have no idea how log he'll ignore me, it's driving me crazy and making me more resentful. I have no idea how much time he needs for anything
My experience has been to not trust people who see your messages and know you're troubled, but still ignore you. Regardless of his reasoning (which you clearly aren't sure of), the fact is this is cruel to you and will only make you unhappy in the long run .
If you already don't trust him and you're only a few months in, move on. I've been in the same situation before, and it didn't end well when pushed harder for answers.