Hey Anon, I'm sorry you feel this way. I've only recently learned how to stop hating myself. Rather than typing out rambling paragraphs, I'm going to give the sparknotes versions of what I learned from beating depression.
- Accept that you're a human. None of us are perfect. But you still love your friends and family all the same despite their imperfections, don't you? You're much more focused on your negative qualities than anyone else.
- Embrace failure. As odd as it sounds, failure isn't a bad thing. It's an opportunity to learn from what went wrong and fix it next time. Your work/schoolwork/daily activities you need to do shouldn't be looked at as something you must do or have to do, but as a chance for personal growth. Little by little, you can grow each day.
- Pursue intimacy with other people. I don't mean spending a lot of time with them but only talking about superficial things. Talk about your feelings, dreams, thoughts and open yourself up to other people. It's scary as fuck at first, but once you get past that initial fear it will feel amazing. Don't bask in isolation, actively pursue meaningful connections with other people. (Not sure how old you are, but look up Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages of development, specifically intimacy vs. isolation. Realize you have a CHOICE between these two. You have to power to change your world. I promise you won't regret choosing intimacy.
- Accept that it will take time. Being generally unhappy and hating yourself sounds like depression. It's slow to heal, but it does get better. Seek therapy out, it's incredibly beneficial to have someone to talk to about your feelings that gives you unconditional positive regard.
Kind of ended up rambling anyway, ask away if you want clarification or more specific advice
>>16801692 not op, but how do i recover and get back into my education after a year of non-stop failing, and failing internships? My university counselor guided me into choosing another study, but it's to hard, and now i hope i can get back into my previous study, and not make the same mistake
>>16801700 Switching fields of studies sounds like a good place to start. Positive change isn't a passive thing, you've got to make it happen yourself and actively take steps towards doing so.
Try to identify what went wrong in your internships. Look for any common trends, and then start thinking how you can change those trends.
Fall in love with your studies. If you study something you love, it's much easier to excel at it.
And I really can't stress this enough: You control your world. You can mold and shape your life into whatever you want it to be. Wanting to recover and do better is only the starting point. Do what you have to do to make that desire a reality. I believe in you.
>>16801726 what if i want to continue my previous study? first 2 years where good with good grades. in the third year i just cracked under the pressure, got depressed, choose something else.. but now i have the same problems again, and i still want to do my previous study/work. How can i know if this is just ''grass is greener on the other side'', or that i have a problem that i have to work on, but can go back to my previous calling
>>16801748 Think about your previous field of study and why you want to go back to it. I guarantee you will be a lot happier studying something you love rather than something you should study. Do you love your original field of study, and if so, why? Identifying the "why" will help make sure it's not "the grass is greener on the other side" (Do not include comparisons between the two fields of study in your why)
I would say go back to your previous studies if that's what you want to do. I used my love for my field as an anchor while I was depressed. Rediscovering that childlike joy of learning worked wonders for my depression.
Buddhist meditation also helps. It takes about one year for you to notice changes. They are subtle but deep. Actually the persons you don't see very frequently that will notice how you changed in a positive way most. It's the same as when you are growing, you don't see the difference, but some relative that you see once a year, always comments how big you are.
i´m unhappy with my life and i don´t know why. like today, its a sunny and nice spring-like day, birds are out, blue sky etc. - but i am depressed i sit at home and don´t know what to do, and when i think of going out in the park or drive somewhere i wouldn´t know what to do there
i only have one best friend and he has a gf - everytime i´m alone and on my own i start feeling shitty again. as soon as he calls or we play some ps together or meet i´m happy again because it´s alsways fun we have
what can i do to break free and stop feeling like i´m wasting my time on this planet? i know i shouldn´t compare myself but i always catch myself trying to compare again even tho i know it´s bad and useless
Any advice on finding someone whilst at the same time being depressed and socially inept? I know that I'd probably have to get over depression and social ineptitude before trying to find someone, but I'll be honest, not having someone and never having been in a relationship is what's making me feel so down. I thought it would be better asking here than starting an entire new thread.
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