I'm sorry for making my own thread:
I'm 29 and a complete and utter fuckup who has no real talents and not a single friend. 6 months ago my long-distance partner left me and since then I haven't really experienced human interaction in real life outside of my mother.
I feel I've been fighting against a tide and I feel like I've improved but that the change is going at a snails pace. Through the last 6 months I've lost 30 lbs, I moved out of my mother's decrepit hoarder's garbagedump, and now I have a job stocking groceries.
When I look back at everything I lost I really feel like I can never get it back. I can barely socialize without being creepy. People my age are funny and witty and I just haven't developed those skills at all. How do I practice them? Is there a book out there for societal fuckups like me that I can read?
My job leads nowhere, it just very barely keeps a roof over my head. I see no end to my loneliness, when before my long-distance relationship promised me a place to call home someday soon, now I don't have anyplace I feel I belong. No kindred friend out there that I can be near. It's like I'll be 30 and starting fresh from nothing. My mind instantly goes to yearning to somehow fix my relationship, which is impossible now and just constantly reminds me of how void of purpose my life was that my relationship was my only purpose for getting up.
Not sure if I deserve my own thread. I just need some advice. I just want to heal and stop feeling self-pity. I want to get better, have a good job, some friends, but how do I avoid this crippling realization that maybe I'm too late?
tl;dr: how do I make friends and slip into a decent career so I can pretend I'm the functional adult I should be?
Dude most people are straight up garbage. They put on a mask everyday and smile, whether they are happy or not is another matter, but you can be the same thing and look "normal."
Start slow, look at people in the eyes, look at what they do when they're talking to people to see how they interact. Literal babies can do this. You might think you are a piece of shit, but most people are, so really you're not. You're a normal person and you deserve normal person things.
Dude, when i was alone, i just started to flirt with girls on social websites, creepy? I don't think so, you can practice a lot and after that you can date with some one. THis someone will have friends with can be yours too later. Don't think about failures, you will fail a lot in the beginning but later you will just do fine.
>My girlfriend told that story to me, her story, what i'm saying for you is a true story about how she deal with it and now she has a social normal fucking life. with friends from work and mostly with friends from my social circle. (And i dont really mind about it, i'm happy for her).
I think you've got the right path. I can't help but feel a hole in my chest reading it though. When we separated I lost all of those friends, partly because we weren't really mutual friends I found out, and I attribute that to my crippled social abilities where I wasn't able to form the bonds I needed to with them.
I've been through that twice, and both times the 'mutual friends' have turned into enemies somehow that whisper behind your back. There's clearly something wrong or missing with me and for now I'm just going to try to be social and see if I can find out what it is.
Might be clinical depression. This is a medical condition. It often causes the emotion of feeling depressed, but it's far beyond that. Fortunately, it's treatable.
Best if you can get a psychiatrist. They'll probably give you an anti-depressant. That, along with the therapy, and you'll probably be doing better in 2-3 months. If you don't have insurance, many places have free clinics.
Otherwise, all I can say it you never know where life will take you. I was homeless with no future at one point. Got a job washing dishes, and would eat the leftovers to save money.
Now, 40 years later I can look back at a decent life. From dish washer I got myself back in school and ended up with a decent life. My career was OK and I'm now living comfortably, if without luxury, with kids and grandkids that actually visit.