>>16798185 C, When mom died, she told me that I had to take care of you since she wouldn't be around to do that. I failed you, and I'm sorry. I was only eleven. I didn't know what kind of parenting girls really needed. Hell, I didn't know what I needed, let alone what a five year old needed, emotionally, mentally. I know I've ruined you and myself with my selfish and self destructive behavior. You have to be taught how to bond and how to love, and now neither one of us can do that properly. I see you suffering and I die a little inside. My advice now falls on deaf ears because it was wrong for so many years before. I would do anything, give anything to just let that little girl be held by her mommy when she needed it most. I would do anything, give anything to go back and act rightly instead of acting juvenile, and tossing you out of your comfort zone to indulge in my own teenage angst. I was a child and an idiot. Today, your innocence is officially stolen from you, and we will never get it back. I think of the little sister I knew, golden curls, laughing eyes, that cute, gurgling chuckle, hilariously deep for such a small child. I love you more than anyone. Nothing is more important to me than your well being, and I have failed you. You will never read this, but when I see you today, I will hold you like I should have held you all those years ago, and though I can not fix what's broken, I can work towards healing the wounds. May goodness and joy be your lot better in life. I love you, little one. Always.
>>16798185 So, you want to be my new best friend, i cant even get you to say 2 words to me, I am here if you want, i am not putting myself out there anymore just to get ignored, i cant believe knowing what I have been through that you would do this
I guess it's valentines day that's got me thinking about you more than usual. I miss you. I miss your smile and the way it lights up any room. I miss feeling your skin with my fingertips. I miss caressing your hair until you fell asleep. Your eyes I still see in my dreams, watching over me. I love you. I guess that's why it hurts me so much to know that I'll never see you again. I've tried my best to forget you. I've done things I would never have when I was with you. I've given up the dreams we thought up together in the dark of the night in candlelight. I jumped in to the abyss but the only thing going through my mind is you. I wish I had the strenght to find you and tell you I'm sorry. I won't do it though. I'm more than content at being just a ghost of the past to you and you don't need to see me a single time anymore. I may be the greatest fool in the world but I really do believe that there is one for everyone. You were and are mine. If there were a snowballs chance in hell for me to just kiss the ground you walk on I'd dive through fire, ice and all that stood in between. I'll never love another. How could I, when I've given my heart to you to keep. I wish you'd remember that I told you I'd help you with whatever you needed help with. You are the beauty of the universe and the secret soul of all music.
>>16798185 J, You are honestly the most misinformed, insensitive, rude, immature cunts I've ever met. Also you have terrible body odor and your laundry smells like rotten vagina. I don't like that smell either. Also I don't know how to put this nicely, but you're a hideous dyke and all of my friends and family think you're a disgusting and terrible person :) V
I miss the us at the start, before it all went wrong.
I miss the man I fell in love with. I miss the man who swept me off my feet and who treated me not only like a princess, but like his princess. I miss the man I could trust with my whole heart, not just some of the broken pieces I've been trying to pick back up.
But I think I saw a tiny glimpse of him yesterday. I felt a tiny part of that connection we shared, of the fun love we had, before we fucked it all up and I lost my trust in him.
I felt something that relit the fire he started in me.
You worked up to becoming the motherfucking district manager, yet you somehow fucked up my sick pay twice already in the year of our Lord Jezus Khrist 2016? I realize you told M that you "didn't know" that I wanted pay for those two occasions I was dying in bed from all the overtime I've been pulling, but maybe if you fucking read my call-off emails in the first place you would've known! You owe me 24 hours of pay, most of which is EVEN MORE overtime. Get on it, you stupid spunk-gargling degenerate.
Dear Pierre, You french pice of shirt! I wasn't joking about going to Vegas this summer and getting married. No matter what you've done in the past.... I would have loved you. Emily told me you had a 3some in November, so if that's your big secret then get over it.
GJ Just because you're ugly as shit and your only friend is your mom doesn't give you the right to use my bf as your emotional tampon. He's only friends with you because he feels bad for you lol and yet you keep texting him like a doormat. Just so you know we laugh at you when you're not around. And btw the 90s called, they want their clothing and hair back
Another letter.. I don't know how long this bad habit will go on for. I feel like I'm apologizing in every one that I write for something that you don't even know about. But I'm just constantly sorry for my feelings for you because I know it's not right.
This has honestly never happened to me before... falling so quickly. I've tried to analyze it every which way to find some sort of toxic reasoning for how I feel. It's true that I've been lonely and my romantic life became shattered last year because of my ex... and I've been in great need for good company. But I really don't think I have these feelings because I'm trying to shove something, anything to seal up the holes in my heart.
I feel the way that I do because I genuinely enjoy you as a person. I love having you as a friend, but every time I get to see you I fall a little bit more in love. I get to know you a little more every time and I keep finding things I love about you and realizing how well I get along with you. How all the pieces fall into place and I just feel happy and at ease. This is RARE for me. It takes me weeks, maybe months to open up to somebody new and you blasted past every barrier in one evening.
I get foolishly excited knowing that I get to see you at work. My heart thumps in my chest, my skin becomes flushed, and the adrenaline pumps through my veins like crazy. I get sad when the shift is over; it means I have to stop talking and won't see you for a while. I leave work and my mind is still swimming hours after. I hope you didn't realize how red my face was when I was talking to you last.
Hah, what would I give to have you fall in love with me... That's not possible. I just have you in my daydreams. My heart aches wondering what your love feels like. She's so lucky to have you.
I thought maybe I could stop obsessing over you, but then I got to spend a little time with you yesterday, and here we go again. It took me years to realize that you're an amazing person. It took me months to realize that you're beautiful. It's taken half a year for me to find everything you do as sexy as hell. I don't know what comes next, but you've burrowed your way into my heart and soul. I doubt I'll ever be the same. The only torture is trying to fight the feelings as they grow. Sometimes I don't fight them as hard as I should. This can't be love, can it?
Hey, Thanks for the friendship. All the things you showed me both music wise and other wise(pic related). They were all great. I feel like I have a lot to tell you that I never will be able to, but hopefully in the future. Anyways, like always, I'm sorry for what I said that night. It was me physically typing, but I wasn't the one who was thinking up the words and I feel bad for being so cruel. I hope you can forgive me someday. Also, to reply to you, I won't remember the friendship as a bad experience either. Anyway! Hope all is well on your end. If you ever need someone I'll still be here, everyone needs someone to be able to talk to, ya know? Hope someday we can cross paths again.
Right now I'm just trying to hang on to this life. That's all I can seem to do, is survive. But I'm scared. My life has fallen apart so badly I can't even think about it. I go out every night and try to get into dangerous situations hoping that someone will kill me, preferably while I'm doing something heroic like saving someone else's life. That's the only hope I have.
I still remember the first time I met you. You waited on me in the diner and complimented my name. You were so handsome and charming that every time you walked away from our table, I put my head down. I liked you of my own accord, instantly. Then, my mom side whispered how cute you were. And then eventually joked that she was gonna leave my number with a note saying something along the lines of "I want you for my son in law, call my daughter" and I begged her not to. Wonder what you'd have thought of that.
I didn't expect you to work there forever. And I was right, you eventually moved on. When I found you, completely by accident, at the next restaurant, it caught me so off guard I almost didn't finish my lunch. And all this time, I've tried and failed to convince myself you don't like me when all the signs say otherwise. I tell myself I'm crushing on an amalgamated projection. I tell myself anything to try and force myself to move on so I don't have to break my relationship up. Even now, it shows you still care about me, even if you don't want to.
Maybe I'm wrong and you're just being nice, but so is everyone else, and your niceties transcend theirs. Who am I to hold on to someone I can't have? Goodness, you've probably already gone and smarties l snatched yourself a girl, while I'm contemplating whether I stay or steer my situation into casual territory. I'd be happy if I knew you were happy. But there's a nagging thought that you're miserable. Tell me I'm wrong.
And if I'm not, I'm sure I'll be at Carl's tonight. I feel a bender coming on.
>>16799395 It feel its the letter I'd expect to read. It resonates strongly because our last proper conversation ended with him telling me I was a repulsive bitch who'd be better off never showing my face in public.
Our time together was nothing short of amazing, I tried everything in my power to show that there's a better way but at the end of the day it was pointless, shallowness and fake empathy ruined the flow.
>>16799429 Oh, God that's awful. My issue is more subtle. Lots of paranoia I suppose on both sides but I know mine. Still whenever someone is rude to me I assume they are a friend of his. He walks around with a troop of sychophants who follow him around like he's the pied piper of fuck.
Look, dude, I didn't break up with you because you weren't rich. I didn't mind paying for lunches and dates and movies and drinks. You lived on a teacher's salary, and your trailer and your shitty car and your student debt didn't bother me in the least. It was a clean trailer, the car was fun to work on, and you really are a good math teacher. It was really more that you were a secret Nazi. Oh, sure, you never said it outright, but it was pretty easy to put together. The shaved head, the secret meetings, the random trips to homesteads out in Cascadia where a bunch of bald white guys were swapping tips on prepping and forming paramilitary organizations. I've been on camping and hunting trips dude, I know that isn't how they usually go down. And it wasn't your taste in music or movies. Honestly, sitting around nerding out about games and comic was the highlight of my week.
It wasn't that you were a single father. It was the fact that you were an asshole to your kids.
And ultimately, it wasn't even because you had a micropenis. It was because you whipped it out at dinner and masturbated while I sat there in shock. After grunting "oooooh yeah, tell me how my cock is too fat to fit through those ruby lips, you've never seen an Irishman built like this before" for two minutes, you came on my shoes.
It was half my fault, I just sat there staring, really, paralyzed with shock as I had never seen a micropenis before.
Shame I had to burn those shoes. I liked those shoes.
So this is why we broke up, the true answer that you never got all those drunken nights you called me to ask why. Wherever you went after that, I wish you no ill, and hope that you found happiness. Maybe you met your dreamgirl at a Nazi rally or became a Mormon or ordered a mailorder bride from Asia.
But I also hope you lost custody of your kids, because man, you were a terrible parent.
You are human scum. You are an asshole to everyone in your life, and write it off as the other person not having a sense of humor, or "that's just the way I am lol". You never take personal responsibility for anything.
You piss and moan about the time you spent in prison, but I can hardly think of anyone who needed that experience more. Otherwise you would have gone through your entire life assuming there would never be consequences for any damn thing you did. Fear of going back keeps you in check just enough that fewer people around you get hurt.
I forgave a lot of shit that you did because you were family and you had a hard life and you are a person who is angry and sad. I know how that feels, but guess what? I actively work at being a better person, at not harming the people around me, at trying to be a positive force in their lives. What the fuck do you do? Beat dogs, throw stones at cats, yell at kids, smoke, drink, do drugs, and bitch.
I'm not a kid you can yell at and smack around anymore. If you ever cross my path again, I'll give you something else to fear, besides the cops.
>>16799492 >you whipped it out at dinner and masturbated while I sat there in shock. After grunting "oooooh yeah, tell me how my cock is too fat to fit through those ruby lips, you've never seen an Irishman built like this before" for two minutes, you came on my shoes.
what did I just read? Damn, if it's a true story then this guy is a creep
I think your name was Jackie. I can't remember. I was high as fuck on Xanax when we met, but you snapped me right the fuck out of that after we met up for that blind date.
I don't know what went through your mind. In retrospect, it was funny as fuck. But, like, you bent down to get something out of your closet, and ripped the meatiest fucking fart I've ever heard in my entire life.
You blew away an eight milligram benzo high with your ass.
It's been almost three years and I still can't tell if I'm more impressed than unsettled.
It sounded like Andre the Giant clapping in an echo chamber.
Hey, friend that I have a crush on. Can we watch porn together please? The vintage stuff. No funny business, I promise. I've not watched porn with other people since that weird christening/bbq thing twenty years ago. Well, unless you count watching porn with my wife. Which I don't. I don't count that at all. I want to share this with you.
>>16798185 Hey K, stop fucking talking to my future inlaw. It's creepy and weird that after 6 months of not being friends you're still trying to reach out to my brother, my friends you've met once or twice, my mom and my fiance's mother. I know you get satisfaction out of it, which is why I'll continue to seemingly ignore it, you'd get more pleasure if I acknowledged. I guess anything for you to get attention, negative or postive it's all appreciated as long as you feel superior... You're a joke. Whenever you get the chance to be a bitch you ditch your moral/"Christian" obligations. You're so transparent... Everyone rolls their eyes when you have your little tantrums. It's your fucking nasty attitude and junkie temper that pushed me away, you are so fucked up to continue tempting K with drinking and drugs. Her boyfriend's right, she should be staying far away from you, legally addicted piece of shit. I don't know why I denied how manipulative you could be, I saw all the signs for years. Especially when you would ditch day of 5x in a row but if I couldn't hang at the drop of the hat it was MY fault we never chilled. Funny, considering it was always ME who came to meet you, drove us around and picked up your licenseless ass whenever your bf would abuse you. Did I ever complain? No? I remember YOU would, one of the most unappreciative friends I've ever had. You shouldn't trust the people you talk shit to about me, no one fucking likes you, all you're doing is making yourself seem like a bigger bitch. Keep going, dig that hole, show everyone what a massive cunt you can be while grasping at straws- you're not able to come up with something bad to say about me so you just tell everyone really personal shit I've told you. Thats fine, I have people saying how bad they feel that I was cheated on and how mean you were for talking about it when we're not friends. There's so much more I don't want to even invest time typing it. You're pathetic, eat shit and die psycho.
Why won't you let me fucking sleep. How many more times is this going to happen. Every time, I hate you a tiny bit more. Just a grain of hatred added to the scale pan... what difference could a tiny grain make? You talk to yourself as you go about your business. I was so close to loving you again. Take a good look in the mirror: this is you, making up my mind for me. D
HL, lol posting here is such a waste of my time but I feel a bit better when I can say how I feel, even if I can't talk to you about it. I don't like guys, so I don't know what's wrong with me, but I really like you. I think you're so incredibly different from anyone else I've ever met on this planet and the time we've spent talking and hanging out have been some of the best memories I've ever made. I feel like you hate me now though, because of the way I feel, cause you don't seem to want to hang out anymore. This is such a difficult situation for me, I've never felt like this, but I around you I feel like myself, and that's the best feeling. It feels like at home, online and at school I'm always acting, but with you I feel so comfortable and able to do whatever and still enjoy it. I wish things could work out between us, but I feel like you've already decided our friendship is over. W.
>>16798185 Anon, You tore my heart to shreds last time (through my own persistence) I accepted your apology, you accepted mine I thought after almost two years I was over you but hearing you're "sorry, stuck with __tonight" because you can't breakup over valentines, I get it...but fuck if it doesn't feel like I'm never going to be your main girl. I want to be okay with that, I want to let it roll off my shoulders, like other friends I've had...but no, your that one dumb guy that's always going to get to me. Ugh i'm retarded.
I am still sad you do not talk to me anymore, even though I thought we got on really well again. Before you went to that festival and never contacted me again, you said you absorb, and that is why we made each other happy. I get what you mean now. And I guess it is, why we made each other happy, vut I also want you to know that you gabe me so so so much in our limited time together. I would not be how I am now if it wasn't for the love you gave me. Thank you.
I am still sad to see that the Google document with your book has been deleted, and wonder if you are okay. I wish I just knew you were still alive and not arrested or anything. If you don't want me in your life anymore, I would understand. But I was hoping you respected me enough to hit me up on Skype and tell me. So I would not forever keep wondering if you are still alive, and maybe I could find closure, too.
You will always have that special place in my heart.
I'm a sensitive guy. Always was and always will be. I'm weak and stupid too. That doesn't mean you should be an asshole. That may work for some people but even you should have figured that teaching style wouldn't work after 3 of those 12 years. You're not even my real dad.
You don't even acknowledge me anymore now that you realize that I'm an adult who wants to fucking kill you. I'm weak so all I can do is blame you for dropping my confidence even further as I developed.
It's not even your fault. We're just weak humans anyway. I forgive you for being shit. Too bad I'm still a cowardly sociopath.
You are a self-absorbed and overly spoilt piece of shit. Now you'd say to me "yeah, but you're a bigger, lying, piece of shit, you deserve to die alone. I will rule the fuckin' world with C while you'll be eaten by loneliness and insecurities hurr durr", but look - IDGAF anymore.
You were my best friend. Or that's what I thought when I had no one else to turn to but you. I'd tell you anything without fearing you'd judge, while you did the same. We were inseparable, careless, and batshit. You wrote me poetry and I wrote you a story, we fantasized together about what the hell not...
It was fucking fun while it lasted but let's face it: you hated me and I.. I can't say I hated you, at least this year when I was there for you with all my being, when you'd have panic attacks and contemplated suicide as you lost contact w/ reality because of your goddamn teacher C I cried myself to sleep every night and honestly couldn't do anything and it was driving me mad. I had problems too but avoided talking them out with you. I pretended everything was fine after I learnt my lesson 3 yrs ago when I was the one bitching non-stop and you got tired of it.
And did I lie to you? Yes, also in 2013 when we were both some cringeworthy faggots, judging by old texts. We just fought over gay-ass hair metal bands and I said your favorite was the most idiotic ever. (You went berserk but please let's not forget how you bashed my faves several times, if you really ask for justice at that extent.) But you just had to dig out the past, implying once again that I was the bad one for not putting up with your shit anymore.
You were always an attention seeker and drove me nuts, but somehow I even got a crush on you at a point. Come on, you said you'd kill yourself because your dad wouldn't let you see your fave and instead took your ungrateful ass to a foreign country... while I stood there, with no money, always bullied, always excluded by peers, TOOOOTALLY wanting to live.
As much as I don't like to admit it, I still come to these threads sometimes in hopes of seeing something from you to me, even though I know that the chances of you browsing fucking /adv/ of all places are close to zero. I feel like a loser for not having dated anyone almost one year after we broke up, and knowing you have moved on. But I've never found a person who made me feel like that again. Sometimes I feel like my heart has been incapacitaded, so that I can't love anymore. The way your life is normal and full of highs and lows is painful to me. My life is hollow and steady. But I don't dislike you or anything like that, I wish you the best. Hearty hugs.
I love you. I don't know what it is about you that I adore so much but I just do. I don't have the spine to say anything to you because I am worried you'd reject me and I don't want to stop being your friend.
I loved you and we spent so much time talking...the minute I told you how I felt about you about us, you stopped talking to me and went out with some asshole who treats you like shit. I'll always love you, K
You're mean and you make me normal. You will always be one of my backup plan and that's why I'm so weird though listening to your constant worry about your ex. I hope you'll find happiness and hope that you will realize that guys like your ex or me should not be what you're looking for. I just hope you'll understand that one day.
Maire. I wasn't your first love, but you were mine. Not kissing you in the park is one of the biggest regrets of my life next to not telling my dad I love him before he died. I don't know why.
We dated 4 years ago and I didn't kiss you. We've been hanging out the last month and tonight I finally told you that I want you. You have a boyfriend who you cheated on 3 times. But now you really love him, he was your first real love and now you're back together. Him, not me.
Those three guys, not me.
I had a good time tonight with you. I love you. I'm glad we had a real date, even if it wasn't the best. I love you so much and I will remember your snort when you laughed at Ikea probably for the rest of my life.
I have money, a great future, I have discipline and a great work ethic, I have the nice car and the expensive watch but I feel so empty and alone and tonight I really realized how sad I am thanks to you.
You told me to have fun being lonely and I shrugged it off. 4 years ago you told me I was bitter.
I guess what I really want to say to you is that I love you. You don't love me, I know. You're the only girl I know who is like you. I don't even fucking know what that means. Youre the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. And I turn into a little kid in front of you.
I'm sorry that I'm not enough for you. I'm sorry that I'll never be enough for you no matter how much better I get. I'm fucking sorry I didn't kiss you when you wanted me to. I'm fucking sorry and I've FUCKED up too many times and I get it. You're a slut for cheating on him and a dumbass for getting back together. I'm a dumbass for thinking you could love me even back then and a cunt for trying to bring you away from him.
Im a cunt for cheating on Katie too.
Just please love me back. I can't make sense of anything without you.
Phoebe. You go by Peter now and you've dropped out of high school a semester before the end. Everyone is wondering why you're gone. You say you're in chronic pain.
A part of me is glad. A part of me wants to see you crash and burn for the shit you put me through after my dad died with your crazy bipolar neediness.
A part of me will always love you. Just like I said. You will never just be some girl I was with in high school, ever - you are the only girl who has made me truly feel full. I think about the night we spent together in the winter.
I think you hate me and I don't blame you. I fucked up and was crazier than I am now, I abused you mentally at least. I needed you.
I'm sorry you tried to kill yourself. I know some of it was my fault.
Im sorry I couldn't be there for you the way you needed me to and I'm sorry I was so selfish.
Before you dropped out I saw you in class this year and every time I would think I wish things were different. I wish I was someone else and I could go up and talk to you.
But no. We broke up and I looked for a quick lay and found Katie and fucked her, caught feelings for her. She never meant anything to me. Just like any of the girls before you.
I know you hate me. I know you regret ever meeting me. But I hope somewhere deep down you love me the same way I love you. It's a fucked up kind of love.
Im thinking of going by your house this summer before I leave to apologize. I'd have to drive my nice car and make sure I tell your mom about all the cool shit I'm doing. I feel alone and insecure, like an outsider with no place that I belong, and I try and make up for that feeling by being valedictorian, scoring so well on tests, making money, etc, I think you know that now.
I just want to apologize. Tell you that you still aren't just another girl to me. Tell you that I will be here for you and I will be better for you.
It's getting close to Valentine's Day, and I guess that has me feeling more, melancholy than usual. I'm so close to you, I've told you how I feel. You were so understanding. I love you, with all my heart, you're the only one I'll ever be able to love, I know it. There may be other fish in the sea, but I don't want seafood, I want you. But more than what I want, I just want you to be happy. I know that you love him, but you're better than that, you don't have to chase him, he doesn't feel the same. I know that you don't love me, but thanks for everything, you've changed my life in so many ways. If you hadn't told me your story, my body would probably be under Highway 60 right now.
To affect me so much, you are my closest friend. I feel real around you, but I know I'll never deserve you. You are the breath in my lungs, every beat of my heart spells out your name...
It's nearly Valentine's Day, and I guess that has me missing you tonight. I'm so close, but so far away. I hope you never feel your heart breaking like I do.
Go fuck yourself, you patronizing cunt. I should have told you off that night I was drunk. But your brother was there and I respect him more than I wanted to tell you to go fuck off into your own snatch. I get that you don't want to date me, but at least have the decency to not insult my intelligence by telling me that you're "busy" all the time with "school" every time I suggest we meet, even if it's with a group of mutual friends. Generally when you change majors to an even easier program than the one you were in before, it's because you're lazy and have a shit work ethic.You won't even associate with me when we're in the same bar 20 feet from each other. I honestly don't give a fuck if we never see or talk to each other ever again. It's not like we're even friends to begin with. I don't lie to my friends, and i'd expect them to not lie to me. Did you really think I believed that you, a 19 year old college student at the time, were studying on a Saturday night and that's why you didn't come out with me? Just tell me
But I know we'll see each other and exchange the same fake cordial small talk like we always do. And i'll know you feel awkward. And you'll know that I truly despise you.
And stop wearing so much fucking make-up, you look like Jigsaw.
P.S. - I hope you enjoy the same goddamn racist club you go to every fucking weekend with the same douchebag Persian dudes who drive dated Mercedes and pretend they have oil money.
P.P.S. - I actually hope you don't enjoy that bullshit club. You're probably dull enough at this point to not detect that sarcasm.
I really like you. And for some reason, I think you really like me. I could be wrong about that. But I think we could be great. I wouldn't have been your type a few years ago, but I think your values and lifestyle have changed for the better.
But I hear that you're getting back together with him now. I can't blame you, he's a cool dude. I just don't think that he'll be able to give you want you want in your life. I don't think anyone was surprised when you two broke it off, I know you weren't ready for it. I think you only accepted because of when it happened. How could any girl say "no"?
I understand if you don't feel the same way. I think we're pretty good friends otherwise and I don't feel uncomfortable saying that. I'm not so stupid to say that i'll wait for you, but I just want you to know that I'm always here.
If there's a hell, you're burning in it. If not, you're out of our lives, and for that I'm personally grateful.
But you hurt mom and dad horribly with your final act of selfishness, and that I can never forgive.
Don't get me wrong though. The way you died wasn't what made me hate you.
It was how you lived- a rageaholic, narcissistic, abusive asshole who took everything that could be considered a redeeming quality- a talent for computers and chemistry- and corrupted it towards bringing the law down on everyone you claimed to love.
The cop who took you in talked to me after you offed yourself. He said I have every right to hate him.
That being said, since we're a good amount of distance apart and people are apparently interested in me up here, I'm gonna try my hand at dating since it's been a good amount of time since I've done that.
But I think it would be great to still be with you, just sayin'.
>>16801009 Looks like we got another salty butthurt virgin who can't get it through his head that people have lives that don't revolve around him.
Don't be such a dick just because some girl doesn't want to date you.
P.S when a girl acts like that to a guy who's obviously into her, it usually means he's creeped her out but she's too scared to voice how she feels because >muh feels!!!! How dare you friendzone me, you dumb fucking whore!!!!!
P.P.S have fun being alone. No girl would want to date a cunt like you.
I don't know what kind of sick fucking game you're trying to pull. Just so you know if I ever see you I'm going to punch you so hard in the fucking dick that you'll never think about being a faggot for no fucking reason.
you confuse me. you tell me you don't want to be in a relationship, you're not ready after everything with your ex, but you talk about us being together, and we both have feelings for each other... you get so hot and cold, some days you're head over heels for me and some days you're not. i honestly was ready to start emotionally distancing myself until you confronted me about the facebook article i 'liked' today - 'when you really like a guy but you know he's not the one' - standard clickbait bullshit. i liked it because the feelings rang true to me about a past relationship, not ours. but you got so quiet and so pensive about it. i know we've talked about marriage and kids, but sometimes i feel as if i love you way more than you love me. in any case, please dont think i dont want to be with you. we've talked about it and agreed that if we got into a relationship, we'd be working towards getting married. i want to marry you. don't let little things bother you. okay sleep tight my love
No, I didn't become the person you wanted me to be, and I likely never will be. As kind as you were for letting me live with you, I couldn't help but feel suffocated after those first few months came and went. I want to move on with my life, and be among people who actually understand me and appreciate me for who I am, not judge me or want to convert me into being someone I'm not. You were a great mentor figure originally, but the more I've gotten to know you, the more distant I feel from you now. Thank you for all you've done, but also fuck you tremendously for all the times you made me feel like I was less than garbage and my way of living was inferior. Maybe one day you'll pull your head out of your ass far enough to realize your own faults.
J, I can't stop thinking about you. Before, I used to get kind of uncomfortable when I thought you might like me, but now you're all I want. Why are you wasting your time with a straight girl? We'd be so perfect together, so happy. Stop being so pretty, I'm completely infatuated now.
Other J, I miss you because you were my first boyfriend, but I don't miss how I felt when I was with you at all. Maybe if you ever ask that again, I'll say yes, but for now, I need a break from you.
Other J, I know that was an awful way to break up with someone, I'm sorry. But it's better for you this way, if we got caught, you'd get in trouble. I lied to you. I'm sorry.
G, Please don't ask her out, please don't have a crush on her. Remember it used to be me? Can't you see she's a manipulative bitch? She lied to you. I don't love you but I want you to love me.
Other G, I'm sorry if you like me in that way, I don't date people more than a year younger than me. You're a great friend but I don't have those feelings for you.
I feel really fucked up right now. I'm kinda drunk and I just got back from the club because my stupid friend forced it upon me and said I needed to meet new people. 2 girls tried to get me to leave with them but all I could think about was you. I left still celebate for yesrs because if it's not you then I'm not interested. I hate it here and I want to go back so badly. I want to see your smile because it really warms my heart. I hate Valentine's day it's so fucking stupid. Fuck Cupid, that stupid baby is useless as fuck. He doesn't do jack shit. Help me out for once you selfish asshole. What I'm trying to say is that I miss you a lot and I need to see you again asap. Fuck my life.
I'm surprised how good I feel after burning the bridges with you; I suppose deleting you was childlish but now at least I can focus on my reading instead of getting irritated with you (and myself) every ten minutes.
CJL Typing this is like moving a mountain. We'll see if I make it through singles awareness day tomorrow, I'm half drunk already. Of all the people I've known ever, you meant the most. 7 years including SJJ we've known each-other and after all that I wasn't worth 15 minutes? I was there for you after your tried to drown. I was there after Cody. And Jeff, Brittany, Kirsten, all of HS. Your college senior recital. You were the only one I ever made time for, and I loved you more than myself, my parents/family, and the rest of the world put together. I wish you'd have shot me dead instead of rejecting me for facial aesthetics. I feel frostbitten, ancient, slow, and ready to die every day, I've felt this way for years on end. No amount of exercise, medication, soulless Grindr hookups, actual relationships, sleep, alcohol, or ganja, or life accomplishments is fixing this, it all only delays the slow sink into cold darkness and sleep eternal that is the hole you left in me. I don't have the power to not think about you hundreds of times per day no matter how hard I try or don't, distractions fail. I left because I can't live with you, but I knew all along I can't live without you. If I'm not gone tomorrow, I will certainly be before I turn 25. I love you and I'm sorry we met ever DWL
You are the sweetest and most adorable girl ive ever met. You propably know this already, but i have had a crush on you for a long time now. But youre not the type of person to turn someone down, or dissapoint them. So i just wish id have the guts to ask you out, and you had the guts to tell me no, so i can stop getting my Hopes up every time i manage to make you smile. Even tho i wont be the one to make you happy, i still wish to see you happy, and i hope we will be friends for a long time even if i manage to ask you out one day and fail.
If you're the D I might know (And I hope to god you aren't), I'm sorry, but you just look so busy all the time. Besides, the other J in front of me is more cool to talk to. Unlike him, I just don't know what to talk about with you.
>>16802367 What is your Initial? If you are who I think you are then it doesn't matter, I always have time for you, I try to look busy so I don't look so miserable. talk to me about anything, just talk to me, I am not good at holding up the conversation on my own, you seemed so disinterested, that's why I got "busy" did not want you to know it hurts. I just like being with you. D.
>>16798293 I see your eyes watching me in my dreams (never far from the room I reside in, generating their own illumination) and I miss you more than usual.
What visions our love inspired! and I have tried my best to forget them.
I've given them all up, you see; I've done things I never would have, when I was with you. I jumped into the Abyss headfirst to jar your existence loose, tumbling sharp crystals of you internally, naturally, desperately yearning to wear you away into stepping stones but struggling to keep your edges raw.
I want to find you! And tell you I'm sorry that you forgot I told you I'd help you with anything.
I may be a Fool, a zero, but I believed in us. You were and are mine. I'll never love another. You are the beauty of the universe to me and the secret soul of all music.
I won't do it! I wish I had the strength to kiss the ground you walk on. I'd dive through magma and tundra to be more than just a ghost of the past to you.
You'll see! I'll give you my once-distant heart and a candlelit night-- fingertips caressing hair-- will be all that stands between us.
>>16801940 Well, you have and always will be a child. And you wonder why you seem to have bad luck with people you date. Its because the people that did care about you got left in the dust. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know what to say. I really like you. But every time I'm around you, my system needs an utter reboot. You are better than me in so many different ways, and we are so different I'm not sure if we are even compatible. I'm a thick headed brawny guy, but that doesn't make up for the rest of my attributes.
I'm sorry that I acted like a fool around you, that I was so shy, that I was so "keeps to himself".
I feel I burned every bridge that could've connected us.
>>16802687 Maybe you should drop an initial for the person you're talking about. You never know, maybe you'll throw a sharp knife and hit an open wound. Just so they can feel worse about whatever decisions they've made
>>16802996 This is the J from earlier, formerly talking to D. I'm having my doubts this was the D I thought of. If anything, I probably made myself dumb looking to a different D. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to smash my head into a wall from embarrasment.
>>16803030 Well, I'm sorry for you. 4chan magic don't happen every day, but I do hope you work this out irl. It may seem that a total disconnect is preferable, but honestly, you're better off coming straight and being honest with someone about what you want, it may feel unbearably awkward in the moment, but you'll move past it pretty quickly. Good luck, A
>>16803138 Well, whether they do or not, I hope you live a good life, anon. Personally, I've always thought karma was a nice ideal that never gets realized, but sometimes events occur that make me think maybe it is real. You live a good life
I can't cry. I can't die. I want to sit in a catatonic state until I waste away into oblivion and no one is left alive who is even related to the people who knew me.
I want to drop out of existence, and one day, latch on to the consciousness of a better person who will make the right decisions, with a family who loves him or her, who does the right thing and turns down people who are creeps when they know perfectly well they are creeps.
I want this person to be happy, and I want them to have their heart broken and then have it mended, and I want them to have children and a good life.
I want them to fail tests and then laugh about it, and then do better next time, and I want them to always be chill and I want them to have no crazy people stalking them, and have them not be interested in being low impulse control. I want them to have the ability to focus on the things that matter, and forget the things that don't.
I want their parents to be happy people who don't die from cancer, and I want them to have friends that don't use them. And I don't want them to ever get sick. And I want them to feel sad for other people when they need to feel sad, and I want them to feel happy for other people when they should be happy.
I don't care if this new person is interesting or good looking, I want this new person to not worry so much about death, and to never sweat the little things.
Then I want this person to be right about whatever comes after death. And I don't want it to be profound.
A Ive known you since Kindergarten. You were a yellow. You have always been cute. Dare i say beautiful. Lately we've been hanging out so much together. Its been an amazing time. You are def my favorite in squad. We connect on all sorts of levels and love the same things. Since tomorrow is V-Day i really want to give you those Flash comics i promised. I know how much you love the character. You act really flirty around me too. When we get together with everybody i always find myself gravitating to you. Everytime. Im having this crush develop over time. Maybe its been there since K. But we all know dating withing the friend group isnt good. Look how that turned out with L and T. But still youre amazing. But i cant ruin our and everyone elses friendship. I just wish i knew what to do. -R
H- I wish your idea of what a relationship is was different, cause I wanna spend so much more time with you and do a lot more together, it feels like we havent hung out in ages, so im hoping next weekend youre finally free too lol. knowing you, you probably will check this thread to see if ive posted something, cause i always do stuff like this. I wouldnt care if our relationship turned sexual eventually, but I think right now i'm pretty happy with the way it is, i just wish we could do lame stuff like hold hands or hug or whatever, but thats pretty 'gay' to you, i think Lol
Dear J, I'd like to thank you unsarcastically for canceling our date tomorrow night. I was in a serious car accident yesterday, and I am as close to being an actual train wreck as I have ever been. It was too awkward for me to tell you that via text and I really didn't want to cancel since it took so much to ask you out in the first place. You really saved my ass here, because on top of it all I had no plans for what to do on that date and I am in no frame of mind to think of some.
Hey, my sperging always comes out as me being an asshole to you. I'm sorry that I probably hurt your feelings sometimes, I never intend to. You're cool as hell and you make me act retarded because I like you and I forget how to act around you. Sometimes I try to be aloof like you do, but then it gets worse.
I have more fun making you find my letters rather than telling you straight up, though. I'm always afraid that you're busy anyways. You're always accomplishing and working on great things, you have all of this aspiration and motivation - so much more than I could ever have. I feel like I was never meant for you, but you like me anyways. The fuck, man? You could do way better, but you're still chilling around with me? I don't know what I ever did to be that blessed.
>>16804448 It really breaks my heart listening to this. Your husband sounds like a real turdblossom. You deserve happiness, real happiness. I know the world seems bleak right now. Mine does too. I think the best you can do is hang in there and keep moving forward, keep trying to reach out. Your mom sounds like mine. Trying to just fix depression and snap you out of it. But it comes from a genuine concern and love for you, and you are not a burden to her. Don't let depression or anything cut you off from the people who love you.
Today almost makes two weeks since you died. Seeing you hanging there is the hardest thing to get out of my mind. I know you're at peace now and no longer hurting in any way, but now I'm in pain. I'm having trouble being around mama or Andy just because they're not dealing with your death the same way because they didn't see your face as you were hanging there. They don't understand what I'm seeing every time I think about seeing you. I'm glad they don't and I know that you would've wanted me to be the one to find you, but I just don't understand why it had to be me. I'm 19 and now I've got baggage. Now I have to tell whoever I try to seriously date all about my dad instead of having you meet her. Now I've got to explain to my kids one day who their grandfather was. One day I'll have to tell them that I'm the one who found you and how I found you. Seeing you hanging there has really fucked me up, daddy. I miss you every second of every day and I love you so very much, but I'm hurting every minute you're not here. I'm 19 and not ready to take care of the things I have to take care of now. I still need your help and I have so many questions I'll never get an answer to.
Daddy, I love you and miss you. All your kids do. Mama misses you and loves you. I just wish that you could come back home one last time so maybe I could at least say goodbye and tell you how much I look up to you. I'm sorry for my failures as a son. I love you.
I had a dream about you again last night. You were doing everything I had ever wanted us to do. You didn't leave my side. Thinking of being too close to you made me feel sick. I couldn't kiss you. It all felt wrong.
After waking I realized it was just the feelings I had all along, and they finally peaked into something I could not necessarily see with my eyes but could feel with my metaphorical heart. It was all wrong. All of it was, always.
I will be with someone else for this stupid money holiday and for the first time since we met, things feel right.
I willingly drank the poison and will always deal with the aftermath, but he is helping me. I can rely on him in such a way that I actually feel safe from this terrible world if he is still in it.
Ours was no Romeo and Juliet tale. I am sure it would be more interesting for you to continue pretending it was, like you do with all else.
I believe in the word "deserve" now. It comes up a lot when I think of you.
Lulu, I love you to all my hearts content, but I cannot show it to you verbally or physically. I want to love you, care for you and forever protect you. You may not love me back, but I will always to you. My attraction to you is weird, but isn't all love? Such as life needs food, I need you. Even when your just a spec in my vision, my heart glows when you are.
G, I know (or want to know) there is something between us, and I know we would be great together. We have a chemistry I haven't felt with anyone else, but I can't, you know I can't. It would kill him, and he's my best friend. I'm sorry. I wish things were different. I wish I had the balls to fix this, but I don't.
And T, I wish you didn't do what you did. It couldn't have come at a worse time, and I don't know how to fix it. You're like a brother to me, but I can't tiptoe around you forever.
Why did you have to tell me you were going after K man. I liked the whole friendship thing we all had going on, and I've just gotten over her recently. Here you are telling me this, which I do thank you for, but man this sucks. If you do succeed, good for you, but our hangouts will stop because I'm not third wheeling that shit. Its not that I dont want you to succeed, I mean you'd probably be perfect for her, its just that I like the status quo so muhc. That and its you, the fact that its you, who always has to be better than me in everything, that gets her while at the same time being such a good friend is just an intolerable thought. So as much as I want you to succeed and get her, since it would be perfect for the both of you, I really hope you don't.
K, Why do you have to be so nice and happy? If you just treated me as a creep or degenrrate or a piece of shit like most other people, it'd help validate my self-hatred. The fact that you still find some good in me and dont hate me somehow gets me mad because it forces me to think theres something redeemable in me. Please just hate me and stay away so I could lose myself in this self-loathing.
Well, Happy Valentine's, you gay nerd. You're gonna spend it with him, you're gonna be happy with him. I don't want to feel like shit but I can't help it. I wish I was with you instead of him. I wish I could hold you instead of him. You don't even claim to be back together, but the two of you do things that call that into question. I just hope he treats you how you deserve to be treated. I hope he stops hitting you. I wish you'd move out, but you won't because you like and enjoy being with him.
I don't want to love you, but I do. I don't want to care but I do. This is dumb as sin
Lying here on Valentine's morning entwined in the arms of my wife, my thoughts are miles away; my thoughts are with you and of only you. My unsuitable wife seems pleased to feel me come gradually erect against her, without knowing that it is the thought of your shapely buttocks that makes my blood pump harder. Your curves describe a perfection impossible for this world. My mind swoops and climbs all over and around you with awestruck reverence. Life has certainly become more interesting now that my eyes are open to your smouldering sexual beauty.
Dear fucking Mr B, I hate you. I hate you because of how you treat me, because of how you don't treat me, because of the way you keep looking at me and the way you don't anymore. I hate you from the bottom of my being, as I have never hated something so much. I wish you the worst; I hope you die a lonely, long, painful, and awful death at the hand of someone you despise, or even a very stupid one, like crossing the street with a green light. I hope you end up unemployed with 7 children to feed and they die of hunger and disease. I hope your wife, in the future, leaves you for a much younger and handsome man, leaving you to care for your fucking offspring alone. You fucking deserve it. I hope your parents disown you, leaving you more in debt, and that your brother leaves you alone again, in the shadows, to rot in your pitiful depressing example of a life, you fucking loser. You, with your fucking good-guy façade and your lame good-looks, with your joke of motives and dreams, just remind me everyday how pathetic you are which, to be completely honest, makes me laugh for hours on end. I resent you with all my being, more than I have ever resented anything in my entire life, I hope you know that. I also hope you know I don't mean any of this, that even after all the bullshit you do, say and make me believe, I still can't feel this way about you. Fuck you. Kind regards, Mrs R.
You know what's sad? You're the closest I've had to a girl of my own for the past few years. I have no business writing you a letter, but I will say this- you had a really positive effect on me. I could tell how excited you were to see me every day. I think, on this Valentine's day, I will resolve to find someone like you soon. I need a girl in my life.
Why do I have to watch your game? As soon as your ex woke up, you started replying to someone as if you were someone else, trying to set yourself up for a new relationship. Now you'll want to make it seem like you aren't the one aiming to set yourself up, but you did the exact same thing multiple times in December so of course you stand out. You especially stand out when you don't think to add a new IP to the count when you reply with your identity.
The worst thing is that I care. I shouldn't, I don't want to and yet it hurts watching you. And when you aren't doing this you're telling everyone either how great it feels to spend time with your ex or how sad you are and then it'll be related to him anyway. I really don't like the fact it bothers me, that I care or the fact it hurts.
i dream about you often but it's probably not you, the conscious me knows how unattractively square peg round hole our conversations go. i try to say something relevant but i'm not particularly interested and you don't give a shit about what i have to say either.
i just miss that butterflies feeling, so you show up in my dreams and give me that brief feeling. don't know why it's you. don't care, life's a shit show. nobody likes what i like and the people who do like what i like can't seem to interact with me on a comfortable level.
this belongs in the other thread but i don't give a shit
Happy valentines D. I'd give anything to spend today with you. Ive been trying to let you go and to do well for myself but its all been a disaster. All I have to do is think about you for a second and my heart suddenly feels like its about to implode. You are the most beautiful human I've ever had. Sorry for destroying everything we worked so hard for. I need a second chance. C
>>16798185 I want to jump back into talking to you every other day. I was worried it's still the effect of crushing on you and maybe to small extent. You made me feel comforted and I trusted you completely in a weird he'sshady kind of way.
>>16805937 *biff* If you're the C I knew (which you probably aren't) call me on my cell from a line that isn't your cell. Fuck you for not posting more initials and fuck me for falling for this shitty bait, I'm having another beer
A year ago we were still happy and in love. We talked about not celebrating a day like today, but I bought you things regardless. It was nothing big; I can't even remember what I bought. A year ago, some time after today, things began to get out of hand and I ended up in the hospital; nothing was the same afterwards. We weren't the same people anymore. I don't believe in love anymore E. Not the kind of love I swore we had. The feeling went away, and if it were true love wouldn't I still feel it? I'm sorry I promised you forever. That was a mistake. Valentine's Day has always been a weird day for me. Something strange or life-changing always happens, and it's never related to the day itself. I hate Valentine's Day. I hope you get laid today because that's all you've ever wanted. I am going to be working all night, and going to be reminded constantly of this artificial and materialistic love everyone seems to think exists. Thanks for wishing me a happy Valentine's Day but I didn't want to hear that from you. You told me to stay hydrated which I found quite amusing. You too, man. M
Wife lady: I am sorry for being so down today. I'll try and be better next week. We had a good time yesterday though, right?
Crush lady: I miss you like crazy and can't wait to see you tomorrow. It hurts me that you didn't do what you said you would on Friday, but I know that a) you have a lot on your plate right now, and b) you don't actually care for me in any meaningful way, so I shouldn't be surprised and I shouldn't let it get to me.
Boss lady: I'm gonna crack up if things carry on like this. I'm in no fit physical condition to do my work because of how wife lady treats me, and I'm in no mental condition to do my work because I am permanently distracted by thoughts of crush lady. I know that you're depending on me and you have put your faith in me, but I'm not the same person I used to be. Perhaps if you let me take some time off, I could straighten myself out? Tyrant.
Mail lady: ok, so you recognise the packaging and you know that it was from a sex shop. That doesn't give you the right to smirk like that. If I found out that you liked to be locked into bondage heels and spanked in public places then I wouldn't judge you. People like what they like. So long as nobody else is harmed, everything is fine. Just deliver my damn packages like a professional and keep your smirks to yourself thank you very much.
Physical wreck lady: I only say hello to you each morning to avoid awkward silence, not because I want to be your friend. Small talk is ok, if that's what you want. Don't waste your energy trying to engage me further though, there's no point. We are just two strangers that cross paths each day, we don't even know each other's names. That is not where you start from to talk about deeply personal matters. Behave.
I wish I never met you. How much pain you've caused me these five months later, I hope you get what you deserve. If karma even exists, one day I will meet somebody meant for me, and you will be used and alone. All I wanted was the best for you, but you kept using me and using me and using me, until I was emotionally dead.
Hello sexy. I'll write you a real letter later. Well, an email at any rate. I will greet you and say goodbye in a formal but friendly way, as is appropriate for our relationship. With all my love, now and always. Xxx
D, I'm glad I don't love you anymore. I don't know what was worse, the fact that I loved you and you didn't feel the same way, or the fact that you would tell me how much you hate me because I'm selfish for distancing myself. Now that you're gone, I actually feel good about myself, and your ex-boyfriend who you thought was heartless is now one of my best friends, who I can say is definitely not heartless and probably one of the most caring people I've ever met, you were just too self-centered to realize that. In conclusion, fuck you, and thank fuck I don't have to see your ugly mug anymore.
Dear [insert initial here], My time with you really fucked my head up. You fucked my head up. You're an extremely manipulative, emotionally and verbally abusive person. You are borderline psychotic, if not completely psychiatric. You would spout shit about knowing you're psychotic and I would just take it as you being a melodramatic idiot. You're extremely deceitful. It took me a few years to actually realize it. I will never want anything to do with you again.
I'm gonna have to break it off. It's not fair. I'm still pining away for him, and it hurts a great deal. He's probably on his way to take some lucky girl out, it seems like you're snubbing me, and if I'm gonna feel this lonely, I'd rather be alone. I understand your issues, but I have plenty of my own, and I swear I'm going to make this clear to you.
I have been burned too many times. I was cheated on on my birthday a few years ago. Among other things. And I'm constantly having flashbacks... Fucks sake I can't go through this again.
>>16798185 Dear x I want to die every time I hear your name. Because you're happier now with a different person and I'm just regressing. I haven't left my house in 3 years since you ruined my life. I just want to die.
I probably won't be able to tell you this directly, since we don't even speak anymore and haven't in so long, so I'll do it early in a letter on a board you don't read.
Happy early birthday for the 18th, old friend. I don't know what you get up to these days other than the fact you got a job some time ago (I was really glad to have heard that, by the way, it reminds me of when we used to talk back when you had a job and you were so prepared for the future plans you had) but I hope you're keeping well.
>>16807375 I do, too, anon, for both of us. I feel like I'm in love with someone I hardly know, and I need to tell him I have this crippling crush and just hope he lets me down gracefully so I can get on, you know? I'm just so miserable, I wish neither of us felt this way.
Here's a big cyber hug from me to you and a toast to finding the one.
>>16807720 I really wish you were talking to me because no one has ever said that to me and meant it, but i know you are not talking to me, I hope your David see's this and understands the importance of those words. Good Luck
I'm going to have to tell you how I feel, despite how awkward it's going to be, if I can ever catch a moment to do so. It's ruining my life, and I'm really unhappy where I am. I'm going to end my relationship because I can't stop fucking thinking about you. I tried everything I could think of to move on but it only intensified my feelings.
Also, I'm shocked you were working today. I figured you'd have grabbed yourself someone by now. I'd rather be alone dealing with these feelings than be with someone who treats me like a booty call.
I just have to keep telling myself the worst thing that'll happen is you won't return my feelings and I'll just bury it and quietly try to move on.
Yuki please answer if you were looking for me. Why would you ask him on how to contact me when in the end you don't want to talk to me at all? I messaged you but either you blocked my mail adress/think its spam because it's my old mail adress,or you just simply ignore me. What's bugging me that I can't contact you on any other way either except like this. Creating a new FB account just to search for me or maybe to see if I blocked you is weird enough. I just deleted that FB account because well I still can't get myself to like it. I guess I shouldn't have told him to reply with whatever he wants when he might've actually said something that made you not want to talk to me anymore. I really hope you're doing alright,but please just give me a sign to either him or me. I'm still worried after all these years.
-D/N/H or however you still have me in your memory.
Don't worry, boy. I may have stopped by a little bit ago, but it'll be a long time before I do again. You enjoy your time with everyone you love and care about, and have a nice time with G. I need to stop delaying a few things just because I've been moping too much, so I'll be taking care of them from now on. Enjoy the intimacy you get, and a late Happy Valentine's Day, though it's not like you'll read this.
I'm sorry I was so shameful. I've been ghosting for about two months because of how I behaved. I kind of miss my video games on Steam, but Hearthstone has been treating me fairly well lately. I want to talk to you and tell you everything but I don't really know how at this point. I know you're waiting for me to say something because you've been leaving me texts every other day or so. I'm afraid, though. -M
I know you come here often and whether you see this or not I don't really give a shit. I got nothing to hide any more. I know what I did, I know what I said. I need a vent man.
You said it yourself here, you hated how i had become distant, stopped telling you about myself, made up lies and cover ups just to keep it all a secret.You're smart, you know that? you saw right through me. At the start of September 2015 I got diagnosed with cancer. Didn't even hesitate to keep that from you. I knew shit was going to go down real bad. It was a lot to take in. Weeks worth of hospital visits, surgery, constant pain everywhere, looking and smelling like death 24/7, losing a huge amount of weight in such a short time. I knew sooner or later you were going to notice, and I was terrified you were going to go batshit because i kept this from you. A couple of weeks pass, I start losing handfuls and clumps of hair, and started getting pain which was so bad it was near impossible to walk. I gained so many difficulties in eating because of the illness that I couldn't even keep it down, and on the lucky chance I did I ended up in even more pain than before. I started noticing hints that you were slowly coming to realise something was wrong, and I got extremely paranoid. The second you started, I started attacking at our relationship. I played off as an abusive bitch, said horrible shit, done horrible shit, and you believed that was who I really was. I knew I had to be so careful doing this because it was so easy for you to find out what I was doing, why I was doing it, and you would insist on staying with me which isn't what I wanted for you. I knew that I had to choose only giving you a moment of pain so you could move on and be happy with a person who can be healthy and have someone to explore the world and look at the stars with rather than me doing nothing about it and causing you a lifetime worth of pain and sadness because you're seeing me jailed in a hospital
literally dying. And if not even there, then bed bound. If I had to go through doing everything I did to you to ruin our relationship, I would have rather just died. I blew you off, started arguments over anything I could find, provoked you a whole lot, and I was breaking the whole time I did it because I was being dishonest with you. I was someone I could never be and you believed that's how I really was. Eventually you got sick of my shit and ended it. I acted out the whole thing and did my "how could you do this it's been 10 months blah blah blah i'll change I promise" all that cringy shit to 10/10 make sure you won't be back. Like i said before, you were smart. But unfortunately, so was I. I got you all figured out, and eventually you unfriended me on everything and the job was done. Everything went to plan and I was so glad you were far away enough to know nothing about me. You would think that after 3 years of us being close I would be able to simply tell you from the start what was happening, you'd think that everything would be easy for us because we believed we were going to get married one day. Now I don't even know you, and now, you don't even know me. I'm a completely new person now. I'm sorry man. I'm not sure how you'd react if I told you this directly but just know I did this for the sake of you. Watching someone you love die fucks you up forever, I promise you that. You had been through so much and i wasn't about to make it worse. I'm sorry I never told you this. I'm sorry I had to end it this way.
Please take care of your new girlfriend, be happy. Be okay. If you can't train your mind to be. Don't leave it until it's too late like I did.
Whether I die from this or not, i'll never forget you.
dear D, thanks so much for calling me today to tell me about how great your new girlfriend is and how you had intercourse even though I broke up with you for the 4th time after you forced me to stay in the relationship. Thanks for admitting about using extacy as the only was of getting aroused by me even though im asexual, so you try to kill yourself again. I deleted all my accounts yet you just had to call my phone and continue to complain to me about ypur life, couldnt have been the reason i left you or the fact ypur a constant liar and cheater. You live a state away so why cause drama? Just so you know I was having a wonderful day without even thinking about you but now I feel overwhelmed from even hearing your voice and cannot focus. Pick up a fucking book for once and stop drowning in self pity. At least I know how to enjoy being alone. I hope you have a terrible fucking day like usual and cause more problems in your life but they sure wont be my problems anymore.
Sara, I wrote this big long letter, then deleted it. Now I'm writing this. I love you. I'm IN love with you. A couple weeks ago when you asked if I wanted to grab a coffee, I choked and said I had work. I lied. I lied because every-time its been just you and me I wind up embarrassing myself even more than the previous times.
It actually has gotten to a Stan and Wendy (South Park) situation more than once and I'm fucking glad that you haven't seen it. (Or even know what I'm talking about, don't look it up.)
I haven't felt this way about anyone in years. Not even with my previous relationships (fucked up, I know, but true).
Really it just comes down to I want to make you happy. Thats all I want to do. All I'm asking for is a nudge so that I can actually figure out if you feel the same way.
Once my foots in the door I'm actually not autistic and I actually have a personality. (I know, I've seen it before)
p.s. Just a dumb thought but if Jesus descends and we do go out, hit it off, get married etc. and we have a kid named "John". Everyone would lose their shit and we would win the war against Skynet.
And yes the original letter was longer than this one.
A, I just heard from a mutual friend that you are seeing someone. All I want to say is that I am very happy for you. I'm sure you felt horrible when I broke up with you but I'm sure you are many times happier now than you would be of we'd stuck together. And on the bright side, you have someone now and I have still been unable to find anyone that remotely interests me. Here's me wishing the best for you, D
Learn to be able to cry again Learn to be able to make friends again Learn to care again Deal with the withdrawals Deal with your life again Learn to get chicks in bed again Learn to know when to give up
I just wish you'd message me on facebook. I want us to get back together. I know I can be a shit head but you're the only girl I've loved. You sent me a message 2 days ago but I couldn't reply because you had me blocked and you told someone you didn't want to unblock me. I still think we should be together and I know you do too. Call me or message me.
Please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I'm constantly afraid that I'm fucking things up. Of course, it's all relative, but if it's possible, I want to feel that what I'm doing is right, and that I'm not just chasing another illusion.. If that's possible. If not, I guess it's not your fault. You probably have way too much on your plate to focus on me. Still, if you could give me some guidance, I'd love to believe in something.
I didn't see you so I ended up fucking my fb in a car tonight. I think my heart is broken. I'm broken. You were fucking some other girl and probably don't even remember me. I don't care, tho. This is all just a terrible trial before we reach the great one at the end of our lives.
I thought about you today, we broke up 4 years ago on Valentines day. I stopped wanting to get back together with you a very long time ago, but I miss being friends. We are probably long past ever talking on a regular basis again since we live in separate states and lead very different lives.
I thought about that summer and fall your parents prevented you from going to college or leaving the house, imagining what that isolation felt like. My life feels like that ever since starting law school. Although its self imposed for the sake of grades, I've never felt more alone. I don't talk to anyone anymore and nobody talks to me. I'm in this constant state of existence where all I do is school work.
More or less, I miss your company and I just needed to vent
I look for you everywhere. But you are always here in my heart. Open your eyes today and see how much I need you. I'm not proud. You can see my weakness and my failings. Only you. I trust you with my life.
>>16808972 Hey man. As a V I want to say that all will be well. Don't worry. I can't magically make all your problems disappear, but I know that sometimes our problems are not as bad as they seem. Have faith. I believe in you.
S, I'm pretty sure you're not interested in me romantically... At least that's what I'm going to tell myself to stay sane. I just worry about the guy you're with. Is he treating you right? Why did you go out with him even though your body language was totally negative? Be careful, and take care of yourself. I want to hang out with you as a friend, but I don't want to give him any ammunition to guilt you into staying with him. Break up with him and go out with me. But even better, I hope you get your dream job, move away, and free me from this obsession. I'm sorry I can't be a better friend to you right now. I'm too torn up inside.
Dear C, i thought about you a lot today, to be honest im glad your not here. I drink way too much and the house is a mess, apparently i said really fucked up shit to one of my best friends but I was blackout drunk so i don't know what i said. im getting fat and my brain is only active when im getting lit, i haven't recorded any music lately, all i do now is play smash bros now and drink cheap malt liquor. i almost drowned in my puke this morning on my bedroom floor.
i have been more volatile as well, working on customer service for 3 years is starting to wear on me. I punch myself in the face a lot at work to deal with my aggression, because its on phones no one can see me so i don't get in trouble.
Oh gex is finally dead, I know you really liked her, she suffered a lot before she died so im glad she is in a better place, i cremated her body at my folks old place, it was a good day.
Blocked on facebook and shit, I didn't want the urge to message you or anything anymore.
i heard you got married, im glad. i bet he is a good dude, you deserve it. My friend said he saw your wedding dress and apparently you looked fucking fantastic, no surprises there.
im not really sad these days, im just fucking tired. for only being 23 years old i feel worn out, im ruining these years for myself and need to go out and make my dreams come true or something. I feel like rotting meat sometimes. For my birthday me and the gang are going up to the hot springs I hope that is fun.
i honestly don't know what love or any of that shit is, but whatever i had going for you i kinda miss it so please don't come back. I cant run circles in my head anymore. Stay in montana and never leave please, you made me feel like fragile piece of glass about to break.
cheers bitch, i hope you spend the rest of your life happy.
Carly, I still love you. You never felt the same way and that's okay, i was happy just being friends. You're happy with him, and i know things are going well because you're never online. That year you flew in for pax was probably the best weekend of my life, hanging out with you, introducing you to my mom, holding hands and wandering around Seattle. We met seven years ago this year, and i've been in love with you for all of them. I'm not interested in anybody else, and i don't want to be either. I don't know why, you'll never feel the same way i do, and even if you did it's been so long since i've seen you as just another person. He can give you more than i ever could, and he obviously makes you happy. I hope you two had a nice valentine's day together. I'm proud of you, and I love you. L
>>16805937 Well if this is Chris, and I'm chris, and your using my last initial, I hope it helps to know that I'm happy. I did find love elsewhere, and I don't think I'd ever be able to love you again like I did before, but the things you said to me. The way you convinced me I was worth something. It never left me. And although I've had a destructive past I've gotten past it. I'm clean now, and with the most incredible women I've ever been with. That's right, a women, who would of thought right? But I won't go on too much about that. I just want you to know, even if I don't want us to be a thing again, I cherish the time we had more than anything. You taught me so much, you changed me in ways that I'll never ever forget.
I think I matter now, and people think I matter now because of that. Because of who you made me realize I am, I've made such great improvements to my life, and surrounded myself with the most incredible people. I..I never thought I could have this. I thought I was unlovable but I'm not and I have you to thank for getting my head out of that fucking awful place. You are incredibly important to me. I want to live now, I don't want to die at some age, I want to live to be as old as I can just so I can have another moment with these people.
Thank you so fucking much Chris, it was worth every moment of pain (and believe me the joy far outweighed the pain) and I would never ever trade it for anything. I'm tearing up thinking about what my life would have been if I never met you. I'm just going to start circling and repeating myself like always soon, just like every time I get emotional, but thank you, thank you so fucking much for what you did. I don't even know if you were real or just some false identity but you were a turning point in my life. Almost as if my life was two parts, one part of suffering and sadness and self loathing, and then I met you, and I moved on to a life of happiness, self worth, and a reason to live. Thank you so fucking much.
So, I get that you died in that car wreck when I was 11 months old and of course there is literally no blame whatsoever, but I want you to know that I always feel a bit guilty because I make jokes about your death, it's just a way of coping with things I guess. Now, I know it was a really long time ago (20 years), but I can't help but think where I'd be now if you were still with the family. Would I be studying physics, or take on your steps and be in the army or would I be working somewhere because I'd be stressed because you are so strict. There's no point in questioning that, I know, but it's just interesting to think about sometimes. Everyone tells me you were an incredible person, but everyone says that about dead people, and I can't think of you as anything but a fictional character, for all I know, you never existed. I'm sorry for not remembering shit about you. Mom is doing well, I'd say. Every year when we go to the graveyard for your birthday, she gets sad for a couple of days, but she is functioning incredibly well. I respect her so much for that, considering you died literally in her arms (you asshole). She is fine. Brother's doing well as well. He has just a couple of memories of you, because he was 4 years old, but still he's not much different from me. He's majoring in engineering, which everyone is so proud of. Okay, so, that's about it. Just things I can't help but think about, but don't worry, I'm not sad that you're gone. I can't really be sad about someone I don't remember shit about. Only because of you I hope there is an afterlife, and you're chilling there.
>>16808972 Hey senpai, it'll be okay. Sorry I'm seeing this 3 hours later. You'll be okay. I swear. You can start again, we all can. You're strong and a bad day doesn't change that. And I'm here for support.
I remember those days when I ignored you. You seemed lifeless, uninteresting. I remember, when I was heartbroken by a guy I used to date. And you wrote me. Asked me how was I doing I spilled my heart to you, that I wasn't okay. You said 'Darling, a woman like you should never show a tear for a guy who doesn't know how to treat a woman like you. You're the most beautiful, intelligent girl I know'. We started being closer together. Knowing about each other more and more. But the difference between me and you when we started chatting more I was the one who tried, but you were the one who would run. I cried for you. I spilled my heart for you. Now I understand that you were a liar. I wasn't the most beautiful girl you saw. I wasn't the most intelligent girl you knew. As how much I tried, you never cared how I was feeling. No wonder you never had a girlfriend, you just can't. I love you.
Dear P, You brought out feelings of self-doubt I've never experienced before. You say we're just hanging out and friends but I don't fuck my friends. You make comments about other women being attractive in front of me and then are surprised when I'm insecure and jealous. You constantly send me pics and tell me stories of you in situations when you could be hooking up with someone else yet reassure me you're not. Just because you tell me I can trust you doesn't mean I automatically do- I never got to know you that well. You never gave me a reason or hope that you really liked me and just needed time to get your shit together. You text me all day about your life but show no interest in mine. You want me to be your friend and devote my energy towards you but I value my friendships. If you want a thumbs up or sad smiley face, post that shit on fb because my time is too valuable to waste on that bs. I did not mind always coming to you until you refused to come see me the few times I asked. You were just confirming further that you never cared. Once I realized how much of an asshole you are, I finally went NC.I only contacted you when I was shit-faced drunk as it was the only time I couldn't control my emotions. Because I prefer to self analyze, I've questioned why I am not good enough, what I could've handled better, and why you never felt the same for me. I've never been an emotionally driven person, and fortunately, for the past two weeks, my internal switch has flipped back to normal. My derailment to crazy town has resulted in an unpredictable year but now I have to clean up my mess. I've done some embarrassing shit because I was hurt from your rejection but its actually led to new opportunities. I don't wish you misfortune or happiness because I don't feel anything for you at all. I'm done looking for you here and the other site we both perused. And man, do I feel great!
>>16809621 Naaaaah, if I fill in the mundane details for you it'll take the sparkle off of whatever you're imagining.
Let's just say that I am emotionally and spiritually indebted to an amazing person who saved me from myself. I have no idea how to even begin to set about "balancing the books". She has awakened in me the capacity and the desire to love - not just to love her, which pretty much happened accidentally while I wasn't paying attention, but to love the world and everyone and every thing within it.
She lifts me up, and I never have to be anything other than myself when I am with her.
JG, Hey i know you're probably thinking that you hurt me alot and finally understanding why i was so intent on getting a chance to hang out with you , i thought i the feelings were being reciprocated but i was wrong. No big deal though if theres anything dating and improving my self has taught me is that being sad and angry does nothing to change the past plus you've given me the only thing i wanted for years...an answer to the question. I'll be moving on with my life now so i guess this is goodbye -ID
i realised im retarded and that i probably dont have romantic feelings for you but i dont know and its confusing but i dont care and im gonna stop bringing it up and try to keep things like this for now. you are a good person
So last night there was a black Benz with blacked-out windows in an unexpected place. Like, in a very unexpected place at a very unexpected time. My friend says he thinks he's seen it parked nearby before but that can't be right, can it?
It couldn't be a coincidence that it was there. And it drove by me very very slowly without rolling it's windows down.
Who was that? And why? Or was it really just a coincidence?
Please notice me. I fucking love you, I want to be your girlfriend, I want to go on dates with you and have fun with you and also for you to beat me up and pull out my hair and cut your name across my back with a scalpel.
>>16810061 Thank you. I love happy stories like this dearly. >She lifts me up, and I never have to be anything other than myself when I am with her. I know that feeling:) It's wonderful, isn't it? All the best to you two. Thanks again.
N, Respecting a religion doesn't mean tolerating retardation. Evolution isn't a religious belief, and thinking that "tolerance" means "not caring that everyone else is wrong and going to hell" is a dangerous and childish way to approach life. I understand WHY. Losing a parent isn't fair, and a worldview that makes it sound like everything is totally fine must have sounded great right about then. But it seems like you completely stopped maturing around that time, so now you're just stuck at age 10 and can't seem to move past it. My only consolation to how thick-headed you are is the fact that you're asexual, and apparently aromantic, so you likely won't reproduce and spread your willful ignorance. In conclusion, I'm mad at myself for falling for a pretty face. I should have realized the first time I heard you gossip about people while wearing a cross.
Dear mom: I'm glad I didn't grow up to be a lying whore like you. I'm glad I didn't end up having any kids at the age of 15 like you. I'm glad to know that if I do decide to have kids, I'm going to do everything in my power to have them know who the father is, unlike me. I'm glad to know you never come and visit, because I know how bad things will get. I'm glad to know I'll never lie to my children about "being kidnapped" when there's clearly legal guardianship papers in place. I'm glad the phrase "like mother like daughter" isn't true. I'm glad you've taught me a bit about life without actually being there. Thanks mom, you're the worst. - From your shitty daughter, S. PS: I understand you've made a mistake, but that doesn't mean I'll ever truly forgive you. I do love you as I would any family member, but that doesn't mean I appreciate you as a human being.
Hi September. I year ago we dated. I was way into you and much a fucking faggot. We went on a few dates. We had fun. The last date, I wanted to kiss you so bad. But when we met outside your apartment, your neighbour was on his porch strumming his guitar. I was flustered. I didn't kiss you. I wanted to.
You asked whether I needed a walk home, I said no. Because I was a faggot. Because I was flustered.
But that was a year ago. I haven't forgotten you. I still you want you,. But that was a year ago.
I'm done. I'm laying it done behind me. You and I saw the world as it is. We had discussions about determinism. You thought the world was utterly deterministic and I have never been more attracted to someone because of that.
So I guess it's ironic that I regret my decisions while you believe it was inevitable. I'll never forget you. Goodbye. If only you met me how I was now. Going to to the gym, with a better job. Maybe you wouldn't have left me behind.
I miss you. I miss the hell out of all of you; I often have dreams that I am in the game again and I am surrounded by diegos.. In the dream I am trying to find Raptor Forest but I never do.. and when I do.. I wake up. Every time - all the time.
We were friends for 7+ years and I feel terrible for just up and leaving you all behind, but the guilt I had on my heart is the reason why I left for good this time... That, and I could no longer live a lie as it was getting terribly difficult keeping the lie going... especially when you all would try and get up close and personal when I wanted nothing to do with such... because of the lie... I've wanted to return to the game just so I could tell you my lie, get it off my chest, but I do not want to destroy the image I left behind... However for one, it'll forever be tarnished and she'll be hurt for as long as she thinks of me... So why would I rekindle such pain? I may be a fool, but I am not an idiot.
I am sorry, Reazi... Aggression, Dark Aura, Sugi, but most of all Antiope and Innu.
You invited me over for thanksgiving, we had a great time, you walked me to my car and told me we'd see each other again soon.
All this time I was pining over you, and you lied. I wanted to take you out on dates, buy you dinner, even just be your friend. But instead you ignored me for 3 months. The worst part was the birthday gift you were making me. The one you showed me in progress. Just to toy with me.
And when the perfect opportunity came just to talk and be friend you ignored me.
What the fuck did I do to you? Why the fuck couldn't you just be honest?
Now I have to sit through your fucking snapchats about the amazing dates you go on with that ugly fuck, and how you spend the night at his place, just so that I don't piss off our mutual friends.
Fuck you. Just fuck you. I was nothing but kind to you and you lied to me.
>>16808978 I constantly fail. it's funny it's pathetic it's life. What's right is to treat people how you want to be treated. Love, but don't love to the point you worry and stress. We're all going to die. It's all about those moments you can create happiness and how long you can ride the wave.
You don't want to chase another Illusion. That's good.Wise even. Believe in that. believe in doubt. It's the only thing you can really trust. The instinct that says this is bullshit. Believe in what's real. But what is reality? mmhmm there isn't much you can prove. Learn to live with unanswered questions.
Find what's important to you. Maybe a nice girl/guy Anon :)
I keep drifting between feelings with you. Sometimes I feel like you're my closest friend, and other times I want to be much more than that, and you know all too well, cause when I came to you about it, you were actually there for me and we were able to have an incredible long talk about it. Everything about you makes me feel better about myself, makes me enjoy life more and makes me want to keep getting better. There are so many reasons why we won't work out, but I feel like over time we'll figure out what these feelings mean. I only ever feel comfortable around you, and I thank you for that.
>>16812867 This is kinda encouraging me to tell me friend about the feelings I have for her, so that we can deal with them and work around them. Obviously I'm terrified that it would ruin our friendship and push her away - but being able to talk things through sensibly, yeah, that's more likely. If it worked out that way for you, then I can have hope.
I'm glad that you know someone so amazing. I'm happy for you, anon.
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