I will be very brief. After a lot of reading, I have come to the conclussion that even though love exists, sexual faithfulness is a myth.
I always wanted to get married, now I realize that dying alone doesn't sound too bad if it's inevitable that I will be cheated on.
How does one cope with that kind of knowledge?
Except it's not true. Sure, a lot of people so cheat, but the most accurate data we have points to somewhere around 20% of people are unfaithful. That's the minority. And it's pretty easy to pick up on who's a good partner if you're smart.
Would you ever cheat? I'm assuming you know you have the self-control and moral fortitude to confidently say no. What makes you so special then? Have faith that there are others like you, because there are.
>Sure, a lot of people so cheat, but the most accurate data we have points to somewhere around 20% of people are unfaithful.
Source? Not being a dick, on the contrary, I desperately want you to be right. According to my research it's 40-60%.
>now i realize that dying alone isnt so bad
>how to cope
sounds like you already coped. that being said is being cheated on really that bad? i dont really see the big deal. i mean yeah, its something you'd leave them over, but is it any worse than any other break up?
especially if it was purely sexual. its just a series of hormones and shit that made htem think 'I HAVE TO HAVE SEX NOW'. a lack of control. an influx of strange chemicals in the body.
sure, dump them and move on, but how is this any worse than them just not being in love with you or the countless arguments and attempts to actually hurt each other?>
>a 2011 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found about 1 in 5 of the thousand people in heterosexual couples they interviewed had cheated
>YouGov surveyed about a thousand Americans. And they found that 21 percent of men and 19 percent of women admitted that they had cheated on their partners.
Cited here http://www.npr.org/2015/07/26/426434619/sorting-through-the-numbers-on-infidelity
Are a couple.
you gotta consider what kind of surveying was done. as strange as it sounds, its more common to cheat in different parts of america than in others. while cheating will exist and persist everywhere, some places might be more inclined to lie about it, even in private. other places might have a more shameful attitude and church focus, making it still cheating but fewer and farther between. certain demographics cheat more than others. a person may report that he cheated but only once, etc.
i think ur fixation on the fact that people can cheat is the bigger issue here. people can also just fall out of love, or get bored, or grow to hate you, or be prone to arguments.
why is sexual fidelity a top concern?
>relationships are a disaster, why bother
have you lived for more than five minutes? dont get me wrong, im perpetually single because relationships interfere too much wiht my lifestyle. but to say that they are not worth going through because someone might cheat on you is silly.
you can no longer eat chocolate, cuz it has too many calories.
cant get fit, cuz one day you'll get old.
can't cook dinner, cuz you'll have to clean dishes. and what if its bland?
for some reason you (and many humans) give too much power to the concept of infidelity. if it is so common, why not embrace it? aside from STDs, how can it really 'hurt' you? if you never promise to be together forever, how can it end 'badly'
go out and date a lady. have fun. enjoy 90% of your relationship until it starts to go south, for whatever reason. then make the decision to end it on the high note, and start your next adventure.
this is literally what everyone already does. they just do it under the impression that they are supposed to find some magical person who only wants them well into their 80s.
remove the misguided notion, the disney factor, and you got a very pleasant reality hwere you get to enjoy multiple people across your lifetime on deep and meaningful levels.
long term commitment is beautiful. but there is always a yearn for a new passion.
>I always wanted to get married, now I realize that dying alone doesn't sound too bad if it's inevitable that I will be cheated on.
I wouldn't say it is inevitable, but chances are high, especially if you are attracted to the wrong sorts of girls.
It's mostly about controlling frame, if she knows at the start of the relationship that you have a zero tolerance policy on cheating, that it is grounds for immediate dumping / divorce then there is less likelihood (never zero likelihood).
Ultimately it is about personal respect, someone who cheats has no respect for either you or themselves. Trying to sort out the good from the bad is the whole point of the dating process, not just about fucking.
>But this is the train of thought that gets you to kill yourself when you turn 50
If you're a chick then maybe, coz chicks need that bullshit, but for men its different, because we have work, hobbies and friends.
The loneliest I've ever been was when I was married because the bitch cut me off from all my guys.
Not going through that bullshit again, pump and dump / pay4play is the only thing on my agenda.
Never had so much money in my savings either.