Help me /adv/
I found out today that my absolute 10/10 boyfriend looks at gore. At first we kind of clicked on it and talked about it a little. Every once in a while I like to look up gore because a little sense of mortality in the back of the mind keeps me humble and helps me come to terms with my own mortality. But now that it's sunk in a little I'm uncomfortable that he does it. I asked him earlier why he views it -thinking his reasoning would be similar to my own- but he just said that he doesn't know and kind of changed the subject. Which makes me think he won't share the real reason. He's funny and educated and extremely social but he has a hidden sadness inside him, like he's always holding back or being held back by something. We've been together almost 6 months. I'm worried about going forward, possibly being the girl who missed all the red flags and ending up in a suitcase. On the other hand, I do it too but at least have concise reasoning for doing so. I don't want to break up with him. I know it makes me a hypocrite but I'm not sure I can get past this.
What should I do?
Hidden sadness is kind of a red flag. That pretty much means his funny and social self is just a way to sell himself. Also much gore usually means he has some deep rooted problem and looks for justification.
Nobody is 10/10 so carefully re-evaluate.
One way to determine what's in someone's head is CASUALLY check it out. Fuck it, surf guro and add other fetish shit all the time along with other shit.so he knows you don't consider it a taboo or even particularly meaningful.
If he thinks you laugh at everything /b/ laughs at that is pure win, though if that's really the case you should marry me instead.
PLAYFULLY ask him if he has any fetishes he'd like to explore. You might both like it.
I look at all sorts of shit for lulz and am amused by depravity but I'm not gonna fill my crawlspace with dead Cub Scouts. (Damn slab foundations...)
its not always a sign of a future school shooter.
and i'm not trying to say surfing for guro is something you should or must do, but if you want to become more acquainted with the circles that are interested in it so that you can make a more accurate profile, then sure. personally i find both of these things educational
i'd say leave him if he was a 2edgy goreblogger though
t. someone who looks at gore because of interests in anatomy and physiology
what does this even have to do with white people
like maybe you would have a point if op found out her boyfriend was into fucking her while drinking starbucks and wearing uggs or wearing plantation suits
I enjoy a good gore thread every once in a while. I think it's interesting and even sometimes hilarious what people can do to their own kind. Sure, I might have a hint of psychopathy, but who on 4chan doesn't.
He's not any more likely to chop you up than your friendly neighborhood Jamal.
Though you might have missed some obvious red flags if you consider him 10/10. There are no 10/10s.
>tfw attractive, well off, educated, and outgoing male that also secretly loves guro
At least I am smart enough to keep it a secret from my gf.
I think he feels comfortable enough about you to let you know about his secret, but I won't make the same mistake.
Anyway, he won't kill you. The gore is cathartic to him in its own way. It is to many people in actuality. Only if you try to deprive him of his release should you start to worry. Not just because he is being deprived, but because it will make him start hating you for not accepting him.
My boyfriend knows I ran a gore blog.
He hated it and he hates that I go on 4chan. I did not stop doing either for him. While I love him, I will not stop doing something that doesn't really affect him because he doesn't personally agree with it.
I don't pester him about what he does in his free-time. I even showed him anon-ib. Why do you care so much about what your bf does in his personal time. It's not affecting you.
I mean, does he view it often? or does he go on b sometimes and goes through a rekt thread? does he save it? does he jerk off to it?
a sense of morbid curiosity can actually be healthy, we learn a lot from dissecting animals and people.
Fuck this post, Jesus Christ. How sheltered can you possibly be that you don't have any "hidden sadness?" Has nothing bad ever happened to you?
MOST adults have a bit of "hidden sadness." It doesn't mean all the non-sad moments are a lie, in fact it makes them much more valuable. When you've lost people you care about, it makes you value the people in your life that much more.
Matter of fact, I'm naturally wary of anyone who DOESN'T have a bit of "hidden sadness" by their mid-twenties or so, because you're going to fall to pieces and have an existential crisis the first time one of your parents dies. I got that shit out of the way early.
As for the gore, that's a different issue I can't really comment on
you are probably worry too much. sometimes people look at gore casually because its a taboo and sparks our interest. he probably said "i dont know" because he didn't know how to express him self at the moment. sometimes i answer with dont know when i can't think of something at the moment, he probably didn't realise how deeply this was going to effect you.
>Hidden sadness is kind of a red flag. That pretty much means his funny and social self is just a way to sell himself
But humor is literally a coping mechanism for pain and grief. All funny people are sad, and happy people are never funny.
OP here, thanks for all the feedback. There's really no other flags. He doesn't get jealous or paranoid, even his fetishes are pretty tame, although he can get a little temper once in a while but he's very level-headed usually and just and honest to a fault. He doesn't pander to emotion. He's -really- into himself though but if he lets you get close to him then he thinks very highly of you and if he thinks highly of you then he would take a bullet for you. Not sure if anyone has ever crossed him.
I don't want to try and change him or his habits, you can't change people, I just needed some input before deciding how I felt about it.
Typical female...always indulging their fantasies as being a victim.
Why are you bitches so obsessed with our fantasies? Is it because you have none of your own? Just let him be, and if it makes you feel that weird about it than break it off with him.
Idk what to tell you.
I know I girl that is into gore and shit and she would never hurt anyone, nor what I feel weird around her. You ladies need to stop being so paranoid about viewing every man alive as being a naturally violent serial killer...or maybe you fancy yourselves as male victims?
Just because he's into gore it doesn't mean he is going to kill you. You say it scares you, but you probably fantasize secretly about him raping and killing you.
See where I'm getting at now?
Just to clarify: The reason I first started feeling uncomfortable was because he said he doesn't know when usually he is very methodical and analytical and has a well thought out reason for everything and can state it concisely. Maybe I'm just over-thinking it.
no they're taking "the saddest people smile the brightest" myspace glitter graphics too seriously
its true that a lot of people use humor to cope with heavy shit, but to imply that everyone who's Sad Inside, that's a huge generalization.
Sad people put a lot of effort into not looking sad and they cope with their sadness with humor. Really happy people are not funny, they are fun. It's not always true but my experience is that it's a really good rule of thumb.
Two things Id like you to realise and keep in mind.
1) we are still apeish. Our big hugh functioning human brains are built on top of monkey brains that still function and whisper thoughts and emotions to us (for google, see: limbic system, emotional brain, reptile brain). Gore is triggering for us because it means things (fear food war victory danger loss, whatever) so we have a natural morbid curiosity for it. The fact you react poorly is coming from the same thing in him thats reacting with interest. It is not his fault nor is it a reflection of his actual intentions..
2) an anonymous survey done with a huge sample size for people of all walks of life found 87% of people have actually considered murder.. Many of those even planned one with intention to commit...
No one admits it, but were all messed up and fucky. And it isnt sickness or depravity or something to be frowned upon.
It is the influence an old stupid part of the brain that does not understand our culture or higher reasoning that only pre occupies itself with survival, and will fill you with thoughts or interests it finds relevant to make you not die.
I am not. You see it and it provokes an involuntary emotional response.
Whether you laugh, cringe, or none of the above but youre interested, you are triggered. Im not talking quantity or quality of the emotion provoked. Just the fact any reaction at all was illicited.
OP, your boyfriend sounds like me. Right down to the gore. Though, I haven't really browsed gore in a while.
When I browse gore, I believe I was just doing it so I could feel higher than the little pussies that feel disgusted when they see it in comparision. Truthly, deeply, I'm not sure why I did it.
First line is right. Make sure you weren't drawn into his positives in a way that you overlooked his negatives. That shit will get to you
Not a fan of penises everywhere, but it's the only place with breast expansion :(
This is bullshit.
OP some people just have a fascination with gore. Hidden sadness is probably a product of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in his life he's never dealt with.
As far as gore, just ask him straight up why he looks at it so much. Or if he doesn't look at it like ALL THE TIME, it's probably not an issue
I’m a sociopath. Every single day I go on 4chan.org and right click and save pictures of blood and dead. I call people the N word and I I love to see little bitches get fucked up. One time i saw this pic of this little faggot fucker suckin his nuts with a lot of blood. My nut sack is 10000000 inches
>my nut sack is 100000000 inches
I don't know why that made me laugh so fucking hard
No Im talking about external stimulation.
You see a thing no matter what and it makes your brain react with an emotion you have no control over.
Like seeing food makes you realise your hungry or seeing a friend makes you happy.
Often these days its used referring to rape victims seeing rape scenes and getting all ptsd about it, and i was talking about seeing gore, so i can see how you might have been confused.
But by trigger i meant to tell her her boyfriend sees it and it illicits a response he enjoys and he cant explain. So he doesnt need a reason. Nothing to worry about here was my overall point.