What's wrong with me?

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First time poster here.

I've never been this open about my past relationship with anyone, let alone strangers. Thankfully I don't have to look any of you in the eye.

When I met my ex, she was dating someone else. After we got to talking...I found she had posted nudes somewhere. Twice. After that, a guy who wanted more (she refused) attempted to blackmail her. She came to both me and her boyfriend. (I guess she had developed feelings for me) of course, I was judgmental. I really liked her, and finding this out just made me a bit angry. She shook in fear, was bawling her eyes out and promised me she'd never stoop that low and be "disgusting" again. From what I know, she didn't.

Months down the line, they broke up. During those months I was getting extremely close to her and eventually fell in love with her. I gave it a while after they had broke up (didn't want to be a rebound) and then asked her out. It went well.

We began to have our ups and downs later in the relationship. I was the jealous type. And knowing about her past didn't help me none. During one argument, I completely lashed out. I dob't have screens or logs, but I remember saying something like, "You actually think I trust you? You're a slut. You know that. I should've blackmailed you and never talked to you again instead of being dumb and actually falling for you."

She cried, got angry and broke up with me. I feel remorseful. I feel like maybe it should've ended. But goddammit, why do I still love her? Why do I still keep her necklace around? Why do I still think about her?

She haunts me. I have dreams about her. I can't stop thinking about her. I want to talk to her again but she's just a slut, right? I tell myself that to get over her but it doesn't work. I've posted nudes when I shouldn't have. See? I'm making excuses for her again. What should I do? I don't have the slightest clue. Everything hurts. Remembering the good things hurt. Remembering the bad things hurt worse.