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What's wrong with me?
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First time poster here.

I've never been this open about my past relationship with anyone, let alone strangers. Thankfully I don't have to look any of you in the eye.

When I met my ex, she was dating someone else. After we got to talking...I found she had posted nudes somewhere. Twice. After that, a guy who wanted more (she refused) attempted to blackmail her. She came to both me and her boyfriend. (I guess she had developed feelings for me) of course, I was judgmental. I really liked her, and finding this out just made me a bit angry. She shook in fear, was bawling her eyes out and promised me she'd never stoop that low and be "disgusting" again. From what I know, she didn't.

Months down the line, they broke up. During those months I was getting extremely close to her and eventually fell in love with her. I gave it a while after they had broke up (didn't want to be a rebound) and then asked her out. It went well.

We began to have our ups and downs later in the relationship. I was the jealous type. And knowing about her past didn't help me none. During one argument, I completely lashed out. I dob't have screens or logs, but I remember saying something like, "You actually think I trust you? You're a slut. You know that. I should've blackmailed you and never talked to you again instead of being dumb and actually falling for you."

She cried, got angry and broke up with me. I feel remorseful. I feel like maybe it should've ended. But goddammit, why do I still love her? Why do I still keep her necklace around? Why do I still think about her?

She haunts me. I have dreams about her. I can't stop thinking about her. I want to talk to her again but she's just a slut, right? I tell myself that to get over her but it doesn't work. I've posted nudes when I shouldn't have. See? I'm making excuses for her again. What should I do? I don't have the slightest clue. Everything hurts. Remembering the good things hurt. Remembering the bad things hurt worse.
>>
What the fu k is wrong with you? Sure people are retarded and post nudes but it sounds like she massively regretted it and stopped doing it because she realized how supid it was. She came to you for help because she trusted you and looked up to you. Then you have to throw it in her face by telling her shes a slut and you wished you could have blackmailed her?? shes better off without you
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