I put all the effort into my relationship and my gf doesn't. I'm always doing all the cute stuff and saying cute things and being romantic and she just goes along or mimics it when I do it.
She's like my only source of happiness when I'm dealing with my shit life and I feel like I'm just a meh to her. Like she would talk to other guys and shit kind of unimportant it's fucking with me so much. What do i do
Ignore her or you will lose her. Give her space and let her come to you. If it all falls apart it was probably inevitable anyways.
Women generally don't like it when they are "you're only source of happiness". They are heartless monsters like this because they only seek confident men who will make them feel socially superior to other women.
I'm a man and I'm always in your girlfriends position.
I'm very independent and don't rely on my girlfriend for happiness so I can give you insight on how her mind works so that you can better understand how she operates.
First, you probably suffer from anxiety or depression at least mildly, consider vipassana meditation to become more independent from others for happiness, happiness truly comes from within
Second, it is an issue of desire not of love which are two different things. A skinny person who loves food might not desire as much of it. Whereas a fat person who desires food might not truly even appreciate food as much as the skinny person. I'm not saying you appreciate your girlfriend less than she does you and I'm sorry if it sounds that way it's just an example to draw for perspective.
So what to take from that? I can still love my girlfriend very much but not desire to see her or receive her attention as much as she desires my attention. When she demands my attention it pushes me away from her because I feel like I don't satisfy her desires. You do this to your girlfriend. Meditation can teach you how to detach from your desires to better match your girlfriend.
Thirdly, if you adjust the amount of 'effort' you put into your relationship you're really just going to internalize these negative feelings until you either A: slip up and start putting more 'effort' into the relationship or B: blow up on her and cry and make yourself a mess. Any issue in a relationship takes two, but going by your post you are probably the one with the bigger issue. Once you've worked on your attachment issue you'll find that it will give you ground to stand on when you ask your girlfriend to show you more affection and to treat you better. As it is right now she has no reason to do this and it will feel like nothing she ever does is enough for you. It is exhausting and takes energy to give someone attention when you don't organically want to.
hello I am this guy
she loves you but cannot match your desire
desire is not a pure emotion like love
desire can be akin to greed and entitlement
it is unfair for you to demand her attention, you whistfully imagine a world where she is a happiness dispenser that provides you with positive feelings whenever you want them to, and your rationalization is that if you give her attention she will give it back. It doesn't work that way.
People write poetry in their free time but it becomes a chore when you are assigned to produce poems at a rate twice of what you would naturally. Does that make any sense?
How long have you been going out? Also, ask how she feels about you? If she doesn't have some deep well of emotions well then..I guess you'll have your answer.
>you're so funny, cute and smart anon lubb uuu
Jesus christ all of this advice you're getting is shit.
Don't be a passive aggressive asshole. Tell her how you feel. You love this girl so why would you act like an asshole instead of talking to her? Tell her you feel like the relationship is one sided. Tell her you feel like you're doing all the work and it bothers you.
How she reacts to this will give you the clues you need to make a decision. Is she willing to change? If so give her a couple weeks to prove it. Does she blow you off? Think about whether you want to keep being the one who initiates things.
In the meantime, you need to work on your confidence and not make this person your priority. Make yourself a priority then school or work then family then her.
Take into account that a lot of girls are like this, they depend on the man to lead them. That's why she copies you. If you want a more independent girl then you should tell her or dump her.
I had a similar discussion in my relationship. I'm dating someone who misses me when we're apart for a few days. I can't match that. A few weeks is when it'd start to affect me. Regularly seeing someone with only a few days apart though? I can't miss someone that way.