>gf 2.5 years
recently we've been hanging out with a couple that have their own condo. Well her dad bought it (rich family) and her bf is moving in while he does school.
My gf now wants to move in. She started crying one day about how I dont "invest" in her. That'd im not buying her things and spending money on her like "all the other relationships".
During the time that we have dated she didn't work for a year and I pleaded to her to get a job. Warned her about not working. she was going through something and 'froze'. We were also long distance at the time (2 hours away).
I explained to her that I don't have the money. Nor do I think she has the money to move in. Moving in requires first+last, furniture and any other surprises that may come that involved money.
now she is claiming "im not the one" for her cause I'm not setting up a life with her. sure 2.5 years. 1 year of long distance. 1 year of her not working. makes me nervous about signing any lease with her.
I get where she is coming from. But she is comparing our relationship to any relationship she knows. I think the mature thing is to not move in with anyone that has financial problems. nor do I want the extra stress.
any advice on moving in? maybe just leave her alone, break up and move on?
Yea, you're girlfriend is a dummy.
My bf and I have been together seriously for 5 years, still won't move in together until our careers are perfect.
It's nothing personal. It's just obvious that it wouldn't work financially, so why should we strain our wallets just to sleep in the same bed together 7 nights a week and start shitting with the door open.
If your girlfriend doesn't understand it after you've rationally explained it to her, she's already gone, dude. And honestly, good riddance.
Sounds like what she is feeling is fear that you aren't committed to her, and she thinks it is because you won't move in with her, despite the fact that living at home makes financial sense. Ask her directly if that is what is actually wrong - fear of losing you and insecurity about the relationship. Discuss ways you can make her feel more secure without going in debt. For example, saying I love you more frequently, or holding her hand in public, or something like that. Most of the time big, irrational blow up are because someone isn't feeling safe in the relationship, and as humans we are not good at understanding why we feel the way we do unless we practice.
we don't live at home. she rents a room and I rent a room.
moving into a place by our jobs / in the right area will cost money.
At the moment renting to live in a furnished house is cheaper then moving in.
we've recently been fighting a bunch. I mentioned date night, fridays. Food, dressing up, bar/club and fun kinky sex after all of it.
I'm more interested in having fun then getting in debt.
Can't stand girls like that, she sounds immature.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. We both live at our parents.
I just got my TIG welding certification, and she just got into a two year college program she's been wanting to get into.
Once it makes financial sense to move out, we will. But right now we'd just be throwing money away and making our lives harder. we have plenty of alone time and privacy, so it's not an issue.
My gf and I are 22 lol
A lot of people aren't moving out till their thirties. You're doing just fine, don't let your immature girlfriend get to you.
I would never stay with a girl who complained about me not spoiling her enough. She's an adult not a fucking child.
we're mid twenties and also not at our parents. Nonetheless, when we move in together, we don't want some dumpy place that is more expensive than what we are paying now.
We live in southern california, everywhere is extremely expensive. I want to be making more and so does he so that we have good financial security. I don't want basic things like rent and bills to put stress on us. .
I moved out of my parents almost 6 years ago, as soon as I got out of college, renting an apartment. My gf moved in with me almost immediately, and all this time I've been the only one with financial income. She is pursuing an art career, and just now she has started getting work. All this time I wanted her to keep going at it because it's what she loves doing, never wanted her to get casual jobs just for the extra income.
Sure I can't afford a nice new phone every year, but I don't really care. I don't mind being the one that always pays for everything as long as I see dedication and responsibility from her side, which has always been the case so far.
I guess money isn't everything for me.
Although note to OP, before moving in we had been together for 5 years (not long distance)