I'm 23 years old, 24 in July, and I don't have shit to show for it and am no where near what I pictured for myself at this age. I recently found out I've had adhd which caused me to get suspended from college 3 times, I'm way behind, and probably won't finish for another 2 years, minimum. My job I tolerate, but its a dead end for what I want to be and what kind of life I want and who I want to be. I have people that are the closest thing I could consider to friends but not truly, more like acquaintances, but not really anyone I can go to, except for my girlfriend, but she obviously doesn't hold the answers to help me get where I want to go.
Long story short I'm sick of my life and I'm fucking lost, and I need help. I need something, anything, right now. I don't know what to do, I ask out of hopelessness and desperation, please help me /adv/ . I know its a long shot, but this is my only option. Please.
And before you suggest therapy I am already seeing someone, but we're focused on treating my adhd at the moment and my next appointment isn't until next week.
Have a cute puppy..
I cannot believe I am going to write this, because it's the same advice other people gave me as well - but you always only know what's best for others.
1. You are still young.
2. No, seriously, you still are.
3. How do I know? I am the same age, and people way older than I am told me. We are talking about ~50 years old. And if it applies for me, it applies for you as well.
4. At least you are not grinding yourself when you are comparing to other people. You "only" grind yourself because you didn't archive what you wanted to do in life. That's OK.
5. There is no reason worrying about the past, you cannot change it. No reason worrying about the future, you have no control over that one. And that last thing is IMPORTANT, because - if you are like me - you are a constant thinker and worrier, and you have to imagine how the future is going to be. Let that be. In the end, it will only hinder you and prevent you from doing what you want to do.
6. Again: Do not think about the future. Do not do not DO NOT. Think about the present. The present is important, the present is what matters, nothing else.
>I'm 23 years old, 24 in july
are you me
>and i dont have shit to show for it and am no where near what i pictured
>i recently found out ive had adhd which caused me to get suspended from college 3 times.
either learn to control it, or take meds. the best thing i can offer for learning to control is plastering the word 'focus' all over everything you own. in class? suddenly not paying attention? you see the word focus, and it draws you back in.
>it will take 2 years to graduate, minimum
not ideal, but not the worst thing ever. lots of people dont graduate until they are 26 or so these days. its just the way the worlds changed. it slows down life a bit, but thats not the worst thing ever. if you know your classes will put you in the right degree for the job field, then just keep doing it. thats the endgoal. then you go from there.
>my job i tolerate but its a dead end
its just to support you til you finish colelge. though if you can find a job in a field that will help but is laso convenient in terms of classes, do take it. no harm in looking around once a month to see whats out there.
>consider to friends but not truly
never ever ever ever ever measure your life or success in relationships. if. this is an indifferent universe, it does not think and plan or carry out. things simply happen, and your success is measured by how well you handle the things the universe arbitrarily creates.
people are the opposite. you cannot make an equation for relationships. you cannot break down the science of interactions. there is the random element of all of humanity that stops the relationship, and all do end in one way or another. so to measure yourself based on what other people are going through in relation to you is not good.
instead always focus on expanding yourself socially. as long as you are putting yourself out there, as in not giving up because of the random nature of humans, than you are successful in terms of relationships.
finally, you are not lost. you...
>know what you want to do
>know what classes you need to take
>know when you are going to graduate
what else is there to do? im a big planner so i understand your frustration about how slow moving this process can be... but now that you have your target in sight you just gotta keep steady. you said two years minimum? focus every ounce of energy in to making it EXACTLY two years. not more. less if you can do something like summer classes.
thats the best step you can take mate.
I'm not going to school because I want to. I am going because I don't trust myself to be successful/ make a living. Shitty I know. I've tried a million times to try to be good at things but I haven't succeeded yet. I'm also out of things I want to do. I've tried and I didn't do well at them so I am/ feel like a failure..
I'm trusting my therapist to do the right thing for my adhd. I have meds now, am on the first week, but I don't think it's enough. Now I'm worried I may be screwed and it can't be fixed. I'm just scared.
Maybe I'm just dumb. Maybe I've inccorectly led myself to believe I'm not just low intelligence. I don't believe/ trust myself and no one else can decide for me my problems and what I am capable of/ who I am. This doesn't seem right..
do you have a career in sight? then stick with it. even if its not joyous its something you know you can handle.
and if not, pick a career and focus on that. even if you dont love it. choose seomthing like being an accountant. its really as easy as doing basic math all day but you get air conditioning. and math might make you less adhd than something creative.
just an example.
>i dont believe / trust myself
probably because you havent proven you are trust worthy to yourself. you got to prove it first.
sit down and write out some goals this week. small... maybe one 'big one'. but something you can do in a week if you put your mind to it. not something with a random factor. but maybe you want to clean your whole house. or maybe you want to go on that hike.
write it all down. divide what gets done on what day. do it. then at the end of the week, you have proven you CAN do it. then start moving that up. the more you do, the more you prove to yourself you can trust yourself.