I don't know how to tinder. I get a lot of matches daily but I can't hold their interest. It feels dehumanizing because it seems like all they want to hear is some chad/tyrone thundercock types going ayy gurl wan sum fuk?
Not to mention like 80% have on their bio "No I wont netflix and chill" or "not here for hook ups".
the big thing about people is that they want to be seduced. even if its just a hook up they dont want to come out and say 'hey lets hook up'.
netflix and chill became so popular becuase netflix was an easy pretense for meeting up without the promise of sex.
unfortunately texting doesn't allow someone to truly experience you, so while certain 'hooks' might make them uber interested, its hard to find those. the reason you get a lot of matches is because you are (presumably) attractive. so girls wnat to give you a chance. than you say nothing to impress them.
so you can either play that game... or you can not. meeting people in real life is fewer and farther between, but that is what makes it... well, humanizing. tinder is where you go shopping for humans. to not give yourself access to a buffet of humans to choose from is what makes it humanizing. not having girl after girl after girl trying to match up is what makes a REAL spark something wonderful.
when you go outside and meet people, you develop a real connection. as opposed to a thousand people saying 'TRY TO CONNECT WITH ME' and failing because they are only putting forth certain aspects of themselves
Black Metal/Neofolk/weeaboo music is my guilty pleasure.
History (I can name nearly every country on the map and city and give some history on it)
I've played guitar for 14 years.
I don't look like a metalhead or anything.
OMG I'M SO JELLY ;-; I'm more into metal core/edm and I've only recently started playing guitar. I think u just have to find the right group of ppl before u find a partner in the same category.
>i dont even know where to meet people
first and foremost bars. yes, they are dreadful. but go out and talk to people. anyone alone or with one friend who looks friendly. not hotties. not even women. just anyone. make a conversation. the more you talk to people like they are people the more easy it becomes.
that being said
>meetup.com or craigslist interest section
meetup.com is a large website with meetups for almost any hobby. i even found a guy from fucking israel a geek meet up. and even if ur not a geek, there is meet ups there for you. its for people with interests. here in LA there are several groups who meet monthly just to discuss buffy the vampire slayer, fucking 15 years after the fact.
i keep scanning the thread and seeing music stuff. those are the EASIEST meet ups to go to and talk to people who like music.
craigslist interset sections about the same, go and look at posts advertising meet ups.
and of course hobby shops. go to a store that sells just music and see what events they have. go to a comic book store and see what kind of game nights they have.
google for local clubs. even if you just like to read, look for book clubs. or start your own online.
create pretense revolving around interests and you'll meet people who appreciate those interests.
> it seems like all they want to hear is some chad/tyrone thundercock types going ayy gurl wan sum fuk?
this is exactly what they want, or else they wouldn't be using a hookup app in the first place.
>Not to mention like 80% have on their bio "No I wont netflix and chill" or "not here for hook ups".
That's just for deflect any people they might know irl on thinking they are sluts. (spoilers: they are sluts, or else they wouldn't even consider using tinder)
>hey hows it going?
>thats cool. I just had a long day at work so had to come get a drink.
>oh im just a manager at a psychic's office. what do you do?
>oh wow, that sounds way more interesting, how'd you get that?
>nah mines okay, i like it, but stayed a little later doing some end of month accounting stuff
>yeah its a blue moon, kind of faggy but it goes down smooth. prefer shock tops when im in party mode.
>that a jack and coke? oh okay. my bad. yeah i mostly do beer but not booze
every answer just leads to another question
>how was work
>oh yeah, what do you do?
>insert job title here
>yeah that does sound rather (insert their description here)
>i have the same issue at my work because XX or YY.
thats only the reality if ur retarded. you act as if its physically impossible to have a conversation. literally everyone does. sure sometimes they go south and dont work. but to act like all conversations end with 'good' and then you walking away like an autist speaks to how truly stupid you are.
right. and when they do you just say 'cool, well nice meeting you' and go off to do your own thing. you were caliming the reality is that all conversations go 'okay' and then you dont bother to follow up.
>before you seem like an autist
its a stranger. give em 2 to 3 questions and then leave. who cares if you 'seem like an autist' to someone you never met before and never will again?
or you can just stay home and whine about how hard it is to talk to people. sounds more your style
I'm not that guy but it's the same experience for me too.
Asking pretty much all discussions go down the same path of 1 word replies. And that's not really a conversation.
Like in your example
>how was work
>what do you do
>that sounds rather Y
>I have the same issue because
You're on /adv/ giving advice on stuff that might work for you, but not others.
I do see "autists" in real life that do this stuff and yes they are remembered as "that guy". Unless you want to practice and fail over and over until you kill yourself or run out of places to go.
after ok you get up and try with someone else. that person simply doesnt want to talk. but to pretend as if the entire world doesn't want to talk is silly. do you mean to say this is what happens hwen you go up and talk to a really hot chick? or anyone in general?
last week i made a new friend just by asking someone where they were going on the bus. week before that i had a 2 hour talk about legos and serial killers at the bar with a guy who happened to have BOTH tattoo'd on him (turns out he builds lego models for a living), i once found an old lady at an air port bar and she chatted me up about her very interesting life as a medial supervisor back before women could do such things. last week at the bar i talked to a guy who worked at trader joes about all their various products and whats tasty and such.
there is an entire world of people sititng by themselves who want to talk. and to pretend that 'pretty much all discussion' ends with 'ok' is silly.
>you're giving advice that works for you, but magically doesn't work for us
okay. fine. never talk to anyone ever again. because if you honestly believe that the universe arbitrarily assigned you a role in which every stranger you ever speak to will just say 'ok' until you leave, then you shouldn't even bother.
thats the world you've created for yourself. one where an imaginary god decided that you not talking to strangers is part of his master plan. does any of that make sense? or do you think maybe, just maybe, ur being a bitch baby?
>i do see strangers talk to strangers, and are somehow remembered as 'that guy'
no, you dont.
no, i only watch philip defranco. closest i get to staying relevant with the news.
what are your interests? what city / state / country are you located in?
not friends. people i had nice conversations with at the bar. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're an NBA all star whos only problem is that he intimidates people so much that all they will ever say is 'okay' to them.
someone who gets paid to build legos for a living for fucking lego land. do you like your job that much?
>an old lady
someone who was more successful in a time when women were actually oppressed than you are in a room full of people hoping to socialize. think about that.
>and a trader joes employee
with some of the finest duck sauce recommendations i have ever heard.
say what you want, but if you honestly think that the world arbitrarily makes people say 'okay' to you literally anytime you ever meet anyone, then there's something wrong with YOU. not them. an old fucking lady is better at having a conversation than you are.
so good luck with that.
than congratulations, the universe randomly decided to hate you and no one wants to talk. im clearly just some alpha thundercock that people respond to.
m8, how many of those nice conversations lead to actual friendships? As in they care about your existance and well-being?
You just sound sociopathic seeking meer conversation partners.
not super often. is that the endgame? cuz when i brought this up it was
>the more you talk to people like they are people the more easy it becomes.
generally so that you know how to talk to GIRLS when the time comes.
that being said, a few. i met that guy on the bus last week. its only been a week so idk where its gonna go but we started hiking together so thats fun.
a few years ago i talked to a guy working at yogurt stop who wanted to be an actor, we became great friends after that (the kind that gives you emergency room rides or lets you crash on the couch between places, so id say thats well being).
but most of my legitimate friendships i make from the second suggestion, which is meeting people somewhere with mutual interests. for me its mostly work and hobbies (and occasionally where the two intersect).
I have friends and conversations enough to give advice about it.
you insist you cant meet anyone because all they say is 'okay.
but sure. im the pleb.
I'm only looking for hookups. How do I communicate this to tinder girls?
Lately I've just been getting matches, talking for a bit, then just ask "what are you looking for?" and they usually say "not sure."
What do I do
is code for, shes open minded and doesnt want to just be like 'HURR DURR NEED A BOYFRIEND'. it means that if someones only worth a fuck, they'll fuck em. i they are worth a date, they'll date em.
asking someone >what are you looking for?
is the biggest boner killer possible. imagine going up to someone at the bar and saying that.
as for communicating you just want sex, asking if they wanna netflix and chill without saying netflix and chill is a good place ot start.