Be me Dating girl for 2 years.
Lived together for 1.5 years.
Talked about marriage and kids in future.
Had gone ring shopping.
Find out my dad needs heart surgery.
My dad asks me to come home for 6 months to help him pre and post surgury. I would be gone for 6 months helping my dad.
Dad lived 8 hours away
Tell girl that I needed to help my dad.
She freaks out about who would pay bills because I would be taking some time off work.
Next morning super awkward.
While taking her to work she said we would be on a break while I would be gone. Girl couldn't promise that there would be anything to come back too when I came back.
Packed my shit and left that morning.
Did I over react?
ehhhh. i mean you were going to leave. so its not an over reaction. or even a reaction. sure you did it in spite and sooner than you thought but...
there is no right or wrong person here. You guys have a life together and she didnt want to either A) lose you or B) run off to take care of an ill person for 6 months.
its big of you to choose your father over your girlfriend. there isnt much you could do about this. it does suck that your gfs response was 'ugh who's gonna pay the bills'.
but there isnt anything you can do to fix this. why wait to see if shes going to be around? shes decided that after 2 years you guys arent serious enough to make serious life changes for one another. leaving for six month wont exactly help that.
time to move on.
>Yo, my father has no one else to help him with his heart surgery
> OMG, who will pay the bills? If you go, we're on a break.
Fuck her. She either ridiculously self-centered or just wanted an excuse to jump ship already.
>100% legitimate, reason (good on you for being there for your dad dude)
>her only concern is how this will impact her
>if you're not going to pay for her, she's dumping you and finding someone else who will
No, if anything it sounds like you're calmer than you should be. It looks like the entire basis of the relationship was what she could get from your wallet. But man, aren't you glad you found this shit out BEFORE you married her? You dodged a hell of a bullet, dude.
I wish I new this before I paid for us to go for a vacation to Mexico. This was 6 months into the relationship. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it back then. At least I didn't have to pay for the cruise that we were planning to go on in august.
man thats a bummer. i mean dont get me wrong im sure there was a level of affection in there, its never just black and white... but it sucks that you literally told her she didnt have to work... then as soon as your dad needs help she backs out. i mean fuark, itsn ot even like one of those situations where a sick relative moves in forever. its just six months.
>tfw no qt OP to go on a cruise with
did you have fun in Mexico? Because it's not a waste if you enjoy it yourself. Stop "investing" in women; that makes you a sucker. Relationships have to have a balance sheet in the 'now', not the future - if you're putting in time/money/effort to a girl and you're not getting an equivalent out of it right then and there, stop, because you're getting taken advantage of.
Basically you were asking for a long distance relationship for 6 months.
It doesnt actually feel that long as long as you are guaranteed to return. but she doesnt know that. Long distance relationships suck and everyone knows that. So you were asking for a lot. But from being in one I can tell you 6 months is no time as long as you keep in contact and visit like 2 days a month.
Now her response is a little tricky. She is overracting because she doesnt want the ldr and so she has tunnel vision and cant see that you really do need to help with your father.
That being said do not go on break. Thats just asking to get cucked. LDR is all about trust and love and if you dont commit to it and give it your all its not going to work.
Do not accept going on break and especially not that bs about not being sure if there will be something to return to.
sounds like shes just upset that her jobless lifestyle would be interrupted. off to find the netx money bags. didnt want to close the door entirely on you cuz shed rather have you back then keep searching for another money bag after six months.
One of the other things she brought up was that when my parents needed anything I would always try to do make it happen. She was concerned the 6 months could turn into 1 year. It is true that if recovery took longer I would have had to extend my visit.
Thanks to everyone who has responded. I'm glad I left before there was any tiny people to take care of.
I know my father is happier now that I am home. Just gotta get myself back to the happy place now.
Good family is everything. She should have been fully supportive. By the same token you made a big decision without considering the impact of how it would effect your SO who you were planning to marry. Does she have a reason to not trust you? That is a long time. And without a ring, it's a lot to ask of her to stay committed. A break is a little selfish with what you're going through it might just be a ploy but she also has to look out for her own interests. Be on break but if she won't support you emotionally through this then don't go back to her.