So, I have a date for friday night,(okc).
Girl says her friend insists on coming.
I can already tell what's going to happen. It's going to be some fat bitch that just shits up the night and cockblocks me all night. Might be rude to me aswell.
What do I do? Do I call off the date? I like this girl, she seems genuine and sweet.
I was kind of caught off guard and just said 'yeah sure whatever'.
So I already agreed and it wouldn't be right to flake on her now, because she seems excited to meet me too, and I think that I would be a great thing for her and her life, and I don't want her to be cheated out of, well, me.
What should I do? Should I just ignore her friend and pretend like we're on a date alone?
What do I do when I'm walking her home? Just kiss her while her friend watches?
I don't like any part of this
Well I don't have any more ideas but you definitely do not flake because that doesn't make you look good. You agreed to have her friend come along, suck it up and go. Make it more of a friendly outing and less of a date if you have to to make it less awkward
Yeah, I've heard that before, but I'm not convinced.
If she wasn't into me, there wouldn't be a date, no?
Dates where she'll decide if she's into me or not, how can she even know without one?
yeah yeah I get it.
Doesn't mean I like it, Doesn't mean I don't need advice on how to mitigate it
Also how does that stop me from putting her in a freezer? If I'm down to kill 1 bitch I'm down to kill 2- that's some shit tier logic, but you're right, that must've been her reasoning
If my date cancelled because my friend insisted on coming along (not that I have any friends like that, but still), he wouldn't be getting another date. I get that he wants it to be a date, but it's just rude to agree to let her come along and then bail. He was given a chance to say no, but he agreed.
If I were trying to kill someone, I wouldn't want to fight 2 people at once. also, i feel like i'm obligated to say don't pickup dates to kill them, it gives white people a bad name.
if someone isn't comfortable with the parameters of a date, they have every right to call it off. OP's date didn't like the idea of being on a date with OP alone, so she begged her friend to tag along and blame it on their "insistence". OP's not comfortable with a 3rd wheel, so he should bail
>if someone isn't comfortable with the parameters of a date, they have every right to call it off. OP's date didn't like the idea of being on a date with OP alone, so she begged her friend to tag along and blame it on their "insistence". OP's not comfortable with a 3rd wheel, so he should bail
What part of "he agreed" is so hard to understand? I don't disagree that he's allowed to not be comfortable with it, but he said it's okay for her friend to come. He had his opportunity to say no to something he was uncomfortable with.
It's just because her friend wants her to be safe. Meeting a guy off the internet is still seen as dangerous by some people, for some reason. Normies think that everyone meets their partner through work or friends so they're already confirmed safe, decent human beings.
Nope. Wrong. It's a date. I'm paying for dinner, it's a date, no other word for it, I have romantic intentions, a credit card, etc.
Yeah, which I get. I look a little rapey too, can't help it, so I don't blame her.
>Nope. Wrong. It's a date. I'm paying for dinner, it's a date, no other word for it, I have romantic intentions, a credit card, etc.
This rigidity is not going to help you in the dating world
I'm a man of my word and I gave my word that I would buy her dinner and I intend to do so.
Sure thing tuts. It's important to be direct. Ambiguity is bad. I'm a very direct, cut to the chase person.
To elaborate , of course I'm obligated to go.
She told me her friend was coming. I said Ok.
That's that. She was honest, I will be honest.
Now, if she just showed up with her friend there, that would be different.
I would ask if we were having a threesome, and if they said no, I would leave.
But that isn't what happened
You need to get a friend involved.
Not directly there, just on the horn in case you need a quick out.
After the first 10 minutes you'll probably know all you need about both of them. If she's mouthy to you even the slightest I'd have that friend phone a fake emergency like his car broke down.
Girls do this all the time. You shouldn't need to use it...but I'd definitely have it handy. Just tell him to call about a minute after he gets the help text from you.
If it were me, I would just cancel. She's nervous about being alone with you, or at least she promised time spent with her friend. The best part is that it takes some pressure off you, but the worst being that she's just gonna talk to this girl and share inside jokes and shit that'll get annoying fast.
It MIGHT be a guy friend. If that's the case, leave immediately as soon as you see her and the friend.
>no other word for it
yeah there is, it's called a dramafest.
idgaf who's paying or what your intentions are. if there is a third person there and you're not having a 3way, it is not a date. you can call a chicken a cow but it's not gonna moo. what are you going to do if the two of you like each other and you want to ditch the third wheel?
just curious, why would you go out with a girl who wants to bring a friend on a date? why did you say yes to this?
the fact that she would do that is baffling. I mean I could see a girl being nervous that some random guy she doesn't know might end up being a serial killer. I have been thru some shit and had trouble trusting guys for years. and I am a pretty odd person as well, and have a lot of odd friends. but I never brought backup on a date, and I have never heard of anyone else doing it. this is a whole new level of insecure drama bullshit that is beyond my ken.
OP no one has said this, so please listen to me, I think I understand this issue.
The girl you asked on a date probably is just new or nervous about meeting people online or she likes group settings better then one on one. It's just a safety procedure, girls have to worry about rape and such.
I would just go on Friday and have fun, it may lead to something great. Worst case scenario you get some good experience and insight with first dates.
You're absolutely not obligated to go and it's crazy of you to think you are. If I asked a girl out in person, and she asked to bring a friend along, I'd cancel, even if in the moment I'd unthinkingly said yes. Cause that sort of thing usually indicates that she's just not that into you. Girls who are into you usually want you all to themselves.
But the fact that you met online changes all that. Very likely she's just bringing along her friend because she's concerned for her safety. That's reasonable (and smart.) If you go, show them both a good time, act flirty towards date-girl and courteous towards her friend, then I give it pretty good odds that you'll get a second date with her. Alone, this time.
Yeah dude what others have said. Sometimes you get cockblocked, that's life. Just play it cool and pretend you don't care that you probably won't be able to get as close to her as you like.
It shows that you're patient and it is a turn on, it also shows that you want to spend time with her
>just curious, why would you go out with a girl who wants to bring a friend on a date? why did you say yes to this?
I don't know dude.
I was on the phone with her, checking my emails and doing work, distracted and I was like 'Oh course darling don't worry it'll be a blast' then a second later it hit me---> what did I agree too?
Don't have friends we've been over this already. I mean do, but married friends, that live an hour away, and more acquaintances than friends,
Just people I do business with
I had a friend that I used to go to the gym with but he stopped picking up my phone calls and I haven't seem him at the gym in a long time.
Maybe she's just nervous because it's the first time you two meet.
I used to do this too, and go to have a drink before dinner with a friend of mine and my date, so if I didn't like something or felt uncomfortable I could go away with my friend at the end of the drink.
Call it off, you're in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. Be honest and tell her that taking her and her friend out together makes you uncomfortable, then suggest setting up a group activity. That way she can get to know you without worrying about being alone with a stranger.
If shes bringing a friend, it's not a date. At best, she's looking for a free night out. At worst, she's there to end your relationship before it starts. Either way, she's already made up her mind about you and it's not good. It's understandable that this girl you're taking out might be apprehensive about meeting a stranger. But it is also unfair for you to have to entertain, and pay for, a third party when you have no ill intent
Everyone's coming up with this friendzone stuff but It's never been a problem for me and I'm not worried about it...
Do you guys speak from past experience or something?
Why is it a concern?
Even if she doesn't want to get ahem physical with me now, she will after the date...
> Just haven't done that much heavy lifting for a while.
Dude, forget it. You've been cockblocked already. You will not get a kiss.
Beat them at their own game. Hit on her friend all night. I don't care if she's a 400 lb land whale that smells like piss. You treat her like she's the hottest woman you've ever seen.
Your date will get super jealous and either storm out, in which case date's over, stiff the fat friend with the check, or tell her friend to fuck off. Best of luck.
>Everyone so concerned about the check
It's really not a problem for me guys...
Anyways that seems shitty to me.
Why would I act like a dick to get laid if I can do it *without* being a dick?
That isn't the advice I came here for anon.
I had this happen once, off a date on OKC. It was a first date, and I think the idea was that her friend (a dude) was going to come hang out for a minute to make sure I wasn't a rapist or whatever. She sprung it on me at the last minute, and she was like 45 minutes late getting there. Needless to say this date didn't get off on the right foot for me, but I never date with expectations so I decided to ride it out, chatted up the bartender while I waited.
Girl finally shows up and I meet her friend and it really wasn't that bad. Sort of just like a neutral meet and greet. I couldn't tell if he was an orbiter or had been roped into it, but I guess I checked out okay because he left after a bit.
Problem was this girl was one of the worst human beings I've ever met, the date actually went DOWNHILL when her friend left. She was petty, and shallow, and mean, talking down about others and just a real bitch in all aspects. All in all I was pretty disgusted by her, but I drove her back to her place (she didn't live far, but her friend had dropped her off). I swear to god she was lingering for a kiss. I was like "NICE TO MEET YOU PLEASE LEAVE NOW".
I don't think this tells you too much about what's going to happen to you, but you should know that you can salvage a friend-comes-along date, and at least understand that girls might be wary of you being a weird murderer/rapist.
We've already been over this, I don't care.
If the date takes an hour and costs me $100, it's not the $100 that I will miss, it's the hour of my time because it's worth way more than $100.
That said, I'm willing to spend some money and time.
what happened to:
>I don't like any part of this
You're willing to waste your time and money on a no-win situation instead of doing the mature thing and telling your date that you are uncomfortable with this situation. You obviously plan on going through with this, so what exactly was your reason for starting this thread?
>reason for starting this thread
How to mitigate the third parties damper on my date
The advice I got was
1. Don't go.
I have a problem here because I told her I would go.
Man's word is his bond, etc.
Plus, she's cute, she's excited, it's not fair to flake on her.
2. Flirt with her friend, ignore her.
This PUA stuff, you only need it if you... need it.
I don't need it so why stoop to their level? It's the domain of guys that can't get laid.
They can't get laid because they are poor, ugly, and stupid, so they think that if they do all these magic tricks, they'll get laid.
They're not wrong. Going in this date is a waste of time unless you can win over the friend.
>Man's word is his bond
Honesty is important, but you're not being honest. You don't like the situation she put you in, but you agreed to it anyway. If you are going to go through with this then you need to tell her this. Maybe she feels the same way and needs your support to say no.
Or maybe shit testing you, gauging your social value and confidence by seeing how you react to an obviously shit situation. Keep in mind that you don't know her thst well either. If you want to play the honesty card then you need to go the whole way. Otherwise you're being just as manipulative as those PUA's you have such strong feelings about
Hate to break it to ya, bud, but you're going to have yo flirt with the friend. You are going on a date with two woman. If you don't treat it as such then you are wasting your time and money. They BOTH need to have a good time or you'll never get a second date with the girl you are into.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you owe anything to either of these women. You fucked up by agreeing to this without question, but it's very shitty that she would spring this on you in the first place. Recognize it as the red flag that it is and don't be afraid to call her out on it.
Closest thing acceptable OP
The friend is a cock block as you say and the fact that she's entertaining the friend idea shows she want a cock block
Nothing is going to become of this OP
If I had to guess, seeing as you met on okcupid, she's probably bringing a friend in case you turn out to be a crazy murderer or something. She also might not want to fuck on the first date, so there's that. Just roll with it and see what happens.
Be polite and treat her friend courteously. Answer her when she asks and treat it like any other social situation.
You aren't getting laid that night.
Her friend is there to provide safety because you're a stranger from the internet, but her secondary purpose is to evaluate you and give her friend a yay or nay, so be nice if you want to date this girl.
That said, you're here to meet the girl you're here to meet. She should have your direct attention and eyes.