I'm about 4 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend and I decided to abort. My family is extremely against abortion but they think my boyfriend and I want it so that shouldn't matter. Just ordered the abortion pills and it should be here in a few weeks so I'm going to fake a miscarriage. My parents will definitely take me to the hospital since I'll be bleeding like crazy, thing is, will the doctor know I took an abortion pill?. If he does will he tell my parents?. I'm 19.
I urge you to really think about what YOU want, though.
Don't allow your boyfriend's opinion to sway your stance. You're going to have to live with the fact that you had an abortion, so make sure you're sure of your decision before you make it.
Also, consider that your family may be very upset and possibly cut you off if they find out
Your parents might find out another way, so make sure the consequences are worth it.
It might be a better option to give the baby up for adoption if you want to guernetee your family still loving you and also not having to raise the baby. If you get an abortion, your parents might like disown you
>giving a baby up for adoption
This is a fucking awful idea.
OP, do what's best for the child. You are not ready yo have a child yet and would not even want it. Have children when you are ready, but now is not the time. Please do not bring an unwanted child into the world.
giving a child up for adoption is way better than abortion
I was adopted because my birth mom was too young to raise me and I am so glad she chose to give me up for adoption instead of raising me or aborting me.
If you care about the child at all, give him/her up for adoption. If you don't care about the child and just want to do what is most convenient for you, then get an abortion
>just don't like the idea of killing a baby
The projecting is incredibly strong in this post.
>If you don't care about the child and just want to do what is most convenient for you, then get an abortion
Same thing here. Just because it worked out for you, doesn't mean most abandoned children don't start out and end up fucked.
Oh yes, and let the child have a life of knowing their biological parents did not want them. I got an abortion some time ago, OP, and I completely hid it from my parents while living with them. You shouldn't have let them know you were pregnant in the first place, it's not like at 4 weeks you'll have much of a bump or anything.
I don't recommend the abortion pill. Not only is it super painful and drawn out, but the likelihood of it being successful is significantly lower than if you did a surgical procedure that takes 30 mins and where you're completely under anaesthetic (you feel zero pain). The resulting bleeding afterwards is similar to that of a heavy period, so it can be hidden from parentals.
The doctor can know that you took the pill if he examines you right when you're going through the process of the abortion. There is no way for him to know if it is a couple weeks afterwards. You will most likely bleed for a couple of weeks, that is what happened to me.
If you're going to lie like this then I would pretend to have the miscarriage a week after taking the pill while you're still bleeding heavily. The actual process will be over and the doctor cannot know that you've taken the pill.
If I were you I would just tell your parents about the abortion and then get the surgery instead of the pill, regardless of any consequences. You're an adult, you do what you want.
I really hope they don't find out. If they do they won't resent me that much but they'll hate my boyfriend and never allow me to see him again. First thing I thought of was abortion since I'm still in college and planned to transfer soon. Then my parents told all my family without letting me know and they're supportive and all so because of that I felt guilty and felt like maybe I could do this but no..I have a lot of issues to resolve with myself. I'd hate to give my problems to my child and it growing up without a father.
I understand, and you have the right to make this choice- but you need to think about what YOU want since it's your life. Don't think about your boyfriend or your family-
Do you want this child?
Everything will be okay no matter which path you choose. If you have the child, you will love it with all your heart and it will love you back. If you don't, then go ahead with the abortion and continue to focus on growing as an individual.
my best friend's mom had him at 18 and raised him alone, and he's turned out amazing- he's in all the advanced classes at my school and he's on the basketball team.
You can have a happy, successful life with the child, or you can have a happy successful life without the child.
Make the decision that you are going to be comfortable with. The worst thing you can do is make a decision you're going to regret. If you think having the child will cause you to think "what would have happened if I hadn't had this child", then have the abortion. If you think having the abortion would make you think "what would have happened if I had had the baby", then have the baby.
Go see a counselor to really talk it out with an impartial 3rd party if you need to. DONT make any impulsive decisions
Good for you, OP.
Carrying to term would be awful physically and emotionally as well as dangerous, and giving up a child is pretty awful for the child a vast majority of the time.
If the abortion pill doesn't work you may need to get a medical abortion as those are very safe and very effective, and you won't have to chance it failing.
An abortion is ending another human's life because it is inconvenient for your own.
It's incredibly selfish. Shame on the people telling you "good job for sparing the kids from that shitty life".
Happiness is relative. There are plenty of kids who are missing a parent or are poor and who are extremely happy.
Who are you to decide whether or not you think somekne's life is worth living?
Saying you're "doing a good thing by soaring your child the hardships of life" is just what people tell themselves so they don't feel shitty for killing a baby
How did your parents know about this? Why would you tell them if you were just going to abort it anyway?
>Some children are okay with having a shitty life
>go ahead and try your luck to see if yours will be like that
>it's selfish to not gamble with the lives of others
Don't listen to this fagola.
So I found out with a blood test. Doctor had scheduled me for several blood tests, one being pregnancy test since my period hasn't appeared since July of last year because of anorexia. Mom went with me to pick it up, didn't expect it to be positive but it was. So she knew right then and there.
It's not a shitty life if they're happy.
When I went to Africa, we helped a lot of children, many of whom were starving or sick. But you know what? Those kids were among some of the happiest I've seen. They had so much love and loyalty in their hearts. They knew that life was precious and could be lost in an instant, so they were very grateful to exist.
Of the kids who were born to a single teen mother, how many commit suicide by age 18? If the percentage is high, then yeah those kids probably wish that they had just been aborted. But the reality is that the percentage is likely very low, because people cherish their lives even through the hardships
That's shitty, mane.
My girlfriend got on the pill after around a year of us being together. We live in a very conservative part of Missouri, and the clinics like to make it as hard as possible to get on contraceptives. She had to take an extensive blood test and then get an appointment the following day. Due to clinic being badly organised, she had to take the 50$ blood test three times just to get a prescription to be able to buy birth control pills. The clinic, upon filling out the order, called her home phone and left a message on the machine stating that she was getting birth control pills, of which her father heard. Stupid bullshit like that makes me wonder how they don't get sued for breach of privacy.
>My parents will definitely take me to the hospital since I'll be bleeding like crazy, thing is, will the doctor know I took an abortion pill?. If he does will he tell my parents?. I'm 19.
You're 19 years old, can you possibly do this without mommy and daddy present? If you really care about them not finding out just hide it from them and not try to fabricate this elaborate rouse to lie to them.
kek alert. really easy to sit behind a computer and tell a woman she's physically obligated to endure nine months of pregnancy because for some reason every fetus is owed a life.
we are all animals living in nature. stop being so naive.
The chance increases for a child, born of a single teenage mother, to be a:
Seriously, you have a flawed mentality.
>African children are happy, so we should spread malaria around the world because it is linked to happiness
The fetus is a clump of tissue that can not make rational thoughts. It's not cognitive, and there's no reason to create a cognitive being that is not wanted, especially when it will statistically be worse off than the counterpart child that will be had when the mother DOES want a family.
>"She's obliged to"
Well, she DID have sex, right?
A potential consequence of sex is pregnancy, you know?
A voluntary choice that she made led to the conception of a baby. The baby made no choice, but the mother did. Why should the baby be the one who has to sacrifice it's life when it didn't get to make a choice? The mother made a choice, so she should be the one to make the sacrifice
It's not a baby.
It's a four week old fetus.
It does not have a heart beat.
It does not have the brain capacity to be cognitive.
It's not a fucking baby, you schlub.
>by having sex, you're obligated to have an unwanted child
>by driving, you're obligated to stay in a burning vehicle if you crash
>by swimming, you're obligated to drown
No, she doesn't have to do what you say.
You're assuming that, because the likely hood of negetive outcomes is higher, it's ok to rob that child of the chance to life their life.
By your example, why don't we just prevent poor people from giving birth?
Poor children are more likely to grow in to criminals, so why not just kill them? Less crime, less mouths to feed, makes sense?
Also I said nothing about malaria so you obviously didn't even try to understand the point I was making. Being born in to Poverty does not insure a negetive outcome for the child.
Maybe this mother DOES want the child? You know what the leading reasons for abortion are? It's pressure from a sexual partner, financial instability, and inconvenient time ing.
For most mothers who get an abortion, it's not that they DONT WANT THE CHILD, it's that they're being pressured by external influences that are telling them that they would fail.
If the op DOES NOT WANT A CHILD, then I support her decision to abort it. But if she's getting an abortion because she's scared and because she wants her life to go back to the way it was, then she's making the decision without thinking it through first
>you are obligated to have this baby
>ignore the fact that you probably can't afford it
>or don't want it
>or don't have the time and resources for it
>I support you, though
Let her decide, because at the end of the day, you're just some asshole on the internet who wants to create unwanted children.
Dear OP, you should go through with the pregnancy and then drop it off at the hut of a Nigerian single mother. They're so happy. :^)
It's constantly growing and developing in to a conscious being. There are plenty of humans with mental illnesses and physical disabilities that "prevent their hearts from beating" or "prevent them from having complex thoughts". Are these people any less human? Is it ok to murder them because they're "not up to the human standard"?
The fetus is a fetus up until the moment it passes out of the vagina, then suddenly it's a "baby". A baby and a fetus can be equally developed, but if one's inside the uterus and the other's outside the uterus, the name is different.
The biological purpose of having sex is to procreate. Having a baby is literally the purpose of sex.
Drowning is not the purpose of swimming.
Crashing is not the purpose of driving.
Your metaphors are more like if you were to catch an STD from sex.
> Is it ok to murder them because they're "not up to the human standard"?
Some may question your right to destroy ten billion people. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live.
They poison the gene pool
Hitler was a moron that didn't know when to let his generals take the lead and got emotional
Eugenics wasn't started by the Nazis by the way
Its illogical to willfully doom your species to defects because muh emotions
>equating an undeveloped lump of tissue that is comparable to a parasite to a fully developed infant
>implying that I'm the one who makes bad metaphors
The goal of her having sex was not to have a child, you fucking imbecile. I'm aware of the biological reasons for coitus, but that is not the case in even five percent of people.
A parasite is a FOREIGN SPECIES that's living off of a host body you fucking moron.
You just proved that your metaphors suck you don't even know what a parasite is.
Just because people in our culture use sex for pleasure does not mean that the fundamental, unchanging purpose is to procreate.
Jeez, I can't even respect the differences in our opinions because you're a fucking imbicile
>>equating an undeveloped lump of tissue that is comparable to a parasite to a fully developed infant
If you look closely, I used the word "comparable."
Are you seriously fucking telling me that you don't know what the word "comparable" means?
I'm going to agree with this
On a retards level it looks like the baby is sucking resources from the woman but our reproductive system is far more complex not to mention the actual opposite of parasitism
Are you from the US? Where are you ordering the abortion pill from? I've never had to get it myself, but I hope you didn't buy it online without checking the source.
First of all, you're an adult. Your doctor can't legally say a thing to them about you without your consent. HIPAA. (well, if you're from the US)
If I understand the pill correctly, it induces a miscarriage. When a woman has a miscarriage, the level of pregnancy hormones in the blood drops drastically in a short amount of time. Unless they look for the medication specifically, I wouldn't think that it would show up on a blood test. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.
Go to Planned Parenthood or your OB/GYN if you already have one. Speak to a professional and bring your boyfriend with you if you want. Tell them everything, and they'll help you pick what your best option will be, and will help set you up with counseling and future birth control if you need it.
The only opinion on abortion that matters is yours. However, you need to think about the ramifications, both in the off chance your parents do find out, and the potential psychological distress it may cause you. Good luck.
>fetus steals nutrient value from mother
>somehow not similar to parasite stealing nutrient value from host
I know that it's not "correct," but that wasn't my point. My point was that a fetus is not equal to a fully developed infant.
To emphasise, let's pretend to enact a scenario.
>I hold in my right hand a 4 week old fetus in some form of stasis chamber, and in my left, a crying newborn child
>I drop both, yet you're only allowed to catch one
We both know that you would attempt to save the newborn over the fetus, and that is because they do not have the same value.
the only reason I would save the newborn cold is because their chances of survival are better since they've already made it out of the womb.
I see them both as the same thing, one is simply more developed than the other.
I agree that it is not INHUMANE to terminate a fetus before it can feel pain. It was never aware of its existence, so it is not "cruel" in a pain-related sense.
However, it is extinguishing potential, which is why I am against it. Every second that fetus is becoming more and more of s person. To rob that individual of their potential because it is "inconvenient timing" for the mother, to me, is morally reprehensible.
If the mother became pregnant through no fault of her own (like in a rape situation), then I wouldn't be against abortion because she should not have to live with a consequence of a risk that she did not willingly take.
But our generation is full of people who don't want to inconvenience themselves, and who don't want to face the consequences of their actions.
I believe that there should be more government programs in place to help support young/single pregnant mothers, so that the consequences arn't so damaging that they negetivly impact the development of the child.
With more programs to teach women about safe sex/distribute contraceptives&condoms/to counsel women who become pregnant and want to evaluate their options, the number of abortions can be greatly resuced- and the women who do elect for abortions will do so because they simply don't want the child instead of being pressured to do it by outside influences
You keep calling fetuses "individuals."
The issue is that fetuses are not people.
Fetuses are tissues.
Once the fetus develops a heartbeat has reached cognition, then the fetus is an individual.
Why do you insist that it's a person when it shares more characteristics with a potato?
Because it's a human.
As I said before, there are adult humans who don't have hearts that beat by themselves or who are incapable of advanced thoughts.
The fact that they are human is what makes them a person.
We don't just murder all the retarded people because they're less intellegent than us.
They're humans, so they have rights, no matter how different they are
The offspring is differentiated as an individual after fertilization
Stop using biological terms when you have no idea what they actually mean
They are human and are always human; you can make the argument of cognition but its the only one you have
While I kinda see what you're saying, wouldn't you agree that some should've been aborted? Who's to say OP didn't kill the next Hitler?
I mean, if you're going to use the potential argument, fair enough; it goes both wsys though. They have the potential to be evil people aswell.
Not the person you're replying to, by the way.
>cognition is lost during sleep
Doesn't this agree with my point? It's equivalent to a sleeping person who can't wake up. The only difference is that it's not a person.
However, the mental state of a four week old fetus is hardly enough to maintain homeostasis outside of the womb. It wouldn't be retarded, more so on the level of "so stupid that it would die without a tube sending nutrients into its stomach."
It is a human fetus, but at that stage in life it is not easily comparable to a developed human.
I agree with this. The baby is likely to turn out to be a criminal.
Yes, I totally agree. But that's the point.
It's not up to us to play God and decide who lives and who dies.
There will always be good people and bad people.
Once a human is conceived, I believe they have a right to that potential. If they grow in to a bad person and make decisions that negetivly affect the rights of others, then that potential will be taken away. It's immoral to take away that potential before the individual has had a chance.
Humanity is what it is because there is evil mixed with goodness. What kind of existence would we have if everything was perfect all the time and there were no challenges or obstacles? Everyone, even the "bad" people, add something to humanity
a fetus is any time after 8-9 weeks of fertilization and at week 11 most of the organs are formed
educate yourself before spouting nonsense
protip; a 4 week old is this
>abortion is bad
Yes, but creating an unwanted child when you don't have the resources is horrible and irresponsible.
The difference being that one is a person. The other is a lump of tissue of which someone doesn't have the resources to harbor after birth.
>I believe they have a right to that potential
That's okay, you can keep on believing that. Just don't enforce your morality on others, as it results in unwanted children.
>criminals are just a needed evil
That's not true
I actually should have been aborted, but my mother is too Jesus-y to have done so. Both my brother and I were accidents. He created a forced marriage by being born, one that trapped two people in a relationship that should not have existed.
It's cool that I'm here and all, but it would have been in my parents' best interest to have aborted me. I wouldn't have cared, anyway.
How exactly does my misuse of strict terminology somehow redact what I've said?
Yes, creating an unwanted child when you don't have the resources is bad. You know how you prevent that? DONT HAVE SEX IF YOU ARNT READY FOR A CHILD or if you cannot control your urges, HAVE PROTECTED SEX.
It is the mother and father's fault if the mother gets pregnant and cannot support the infant- but the infant has to pay the price. Both are unjust. I personally believe killing another person is worse.
>don't enforce your morality on others
The mothers are "enforcing their morality" on the fetuses. Why are the mothers allowed to decide what happens to the body of the fetus? No one wants to control women's bodies, we want to protect the body of the fetus inside her.
>that's not true
So you think humanity would be better if there were no hardships or evil? It's better to just kill all the people who are more likely to develope in to criminals, even if that means killing good people in the process? Who's the real criminal in that situation?
>However, the mental state of a four week old fetus is hardly enough to maintain homeostasis outside of the womb. It wouldn't be retarded, more so on the level of "so stupid that it would die without a tube sending nutrients into its stomach."
> the mental state of a four week old fetus is hardly enough to maintain homeostasis
Its completely wrong to use homeostasis to refer to mental faculty
>It wouldn't be retarded
It would die immediately
>more so on the level of "so stupid that it would die without a tube sending nutrients into its stomach."
Refer to the scale on the picture
You literally have ZERO idea what the fuck you're talking about
Frankly, most anyone who claims that abortion is murder is a fucking coward for not standing up for their beliefs properly. You think murdering children with medical, legal, and widespread social sanction is transpiring, and you make whiny posts on the internet? Vote for limp-wristed pro-life platforms, maybe parade around a little with a sign if you're particularly hardcore? THAT is fucked. Say what you want about people who bomb abortion clinics, at least that makes some kind of logical sense.
>implying that the infant doesn't suffer more when it has to deal with limited resources
My mom grew up in foster care due to her parents being poor, and she fucking hated her life for a long time. She overcame it, yes, but that shouldn't have happened, regardless.
People should not have kids that they either can't care for or do not want. It's fucking ridiculous.
I'm sure that the fetus was looking forward to living it's life, or it would be if it weren't unbeknownst due to a case of nobrain.
>implying that a brain stem isn't required to facilitate homeostasis
Once again, I'm incorrect on specific things, but none of your points debunk my arguments.
Killing people is not a reasonable response to the prevention of lives.
>if you think something is wrong you have to bomb the center for it
You are just all murders. But I have other things I need to do with my life. Bombing you wont fix the world.
Honestly imo the world is too far gone. The fact abortion is legal just proves that to me.
Are you a fucking psychopath?
What good would bombing an abortion clinic do??
Mothers who get abortions are not evil witches, they are usually scared young women who arn't confident enough in their ability to care for someone else since they feel like they can barely care for themselves.
They need HELP.
That's what I, and a lot of other "anti abortion" people do. We help provide resources, financial support, and therapy sessions for women who are deciding whether or not to go through with the pregnancy.
It is the right of those women to make that decision; and although I personally disagree with abortion, those women have the right to decide in this country.
So, when an unplanned pregnancy happens to an unprepared couple/single parent:
>Have the kid and struggle through your own life, thus having a kid who has a rough childhood (even thought it knows you tried your best)
>Have the kid and have it placed in foster care. I'm not even going to get into how fucking shitty the US foster system is
>Give the kid up for adoption. Could be good: kid understands, grows up in a loving home. Could be bad: Kid struggles with it and resents you, the adoptive family, and says adoption is inhumane.
>End it before it starts, before the embryo/fetus/baby/etc can even comprehend that it is a person. Swear you'll do better next time, etc
I personally don't think it's inhumane to pick the last option.
What about after the kid is born? Are you against welfare? Just curious. A lot of people are pro-birth but not pro-welfare, which is counter intuitive.
We just disagree. I think the possibility of a good life is enough to take that risk.
And no, I think that welfare is extremely important. There should be FAR more resources for low income parents with newborn children. The reason why so many of those children grow up to be criminals is because they are just doing what they can to survive.
If the child had resources, they would be less likely to resort to criminal means
It is the same.
What if a mother has a newborn baby and decides that she doesn't have the resources for him and that he'd be better off dead than being put up for adoption and subject to a life of potential poverty.
Is it okay for her to abort this infant?
Why is that different than aborting a fetus who has not come out of the womb?
Because it's four weeks old, you fucking idiot.
Look at Pegasus' pictures, that lump of tissues does not have emotions.
A newborn infant DOES have emotions, and to terminate it's life is murder. The difference is the fact that an embryo can't think, survive outside of the womb, or have any real value other than the possibility to develop into an adult.
That is a awful argument. Murdering an infant =/= legal abortion.
In most places, you can't have an abortion after 20 weeks. Late term abortion is illegal. The earliest anyone has ever survived being born is like... 21 weeks iirc, and at that it is a miracle. Fetuses can't survive outside the womb when they're in legal abortion range. Infants can.
An infant's brain is capable of emotion, even during sleep. An embryo hardly has a brain, and has no emotions.
This is a shit argument. An infant suffers exponentially more than an embryo whenever depraved of resources.
>the value of your life is based on how much you suffer
>An infant's brain is capable of emotion, even during sleep
So you have no idea what you are talking about. When you arent dreaming you are not capable of that. And a lot of other features shut down. You enter a state similar to being brain dead.
No theres really not. Its dependent in the same way. Cutting the cord is just cutting off its resources. You cut off an infant and it dies the same way.