I'm not depressed
I'm not suicidal
I just don't want to get better
Ilever since highschool ended 5 years ago I have become a recluse Nd I have become fatter that I ever thought was possible, there is great pain in my heart and that's because I will never be able to have a loving partner and that's because my body is inadequate, I have a minuscule non functioning penis, in 23 not a teenager and I find myself trying to get over it and distract myself with hobby's and other things but truth is I always end up in the se place feeling the same feels. I have been unable to hold a job or even a friendship, I had to drop out of college because it as too painful and the people around me got mad because they can't understand why I keep doing these things
I'm not suicidal of depressed I'm just unable to move on with my life, I dknt believe that there is one thing you can tell me to change my mind, I don't have the body to transition either so that's out of the picture
I know I'm male and that means my problems are worthless in your eyes I'm just looking for a bit of kindness and someone to listen to me
Seriously see a therapist or something. You aren't going to get the help you need here. There's no line of text anyone can type that is going to fix your problems.
I find myself saying stuff like its OK because I'm going to die, I keep rejecting every opportunity that shows up even tho they are plenty. I don't know what else to say, I feel destroyed, I feel I'm not a man I don't think I should have made it this far
I know exactly what I'm going to do because its the only thing that works
I'm going to eat a lot and I mean a lot of u healthy food, I'm going g to feel really bad and then I'm going to sleep for a very long time
And then I will wake up and keep ignoring everything and everyone and life will be like this forever
You have already said that you don't even want to get better, That has to change. You have to want to get better before you can actually get better.
So either carry on the way you are until you fade from existence or hit rock bottom and get tired of this shit and push for a change because you are tired of feeling like this.
You don't need kind words right now, That will only enable you. You have to understand that a better life is waiting for you, you just have to get up and grab it.
I don't believe that a better life is waiting for me, I also don't expect kind words I just need someone to talk with right now.
But I guess nobody cares, it was a desperate foolish attempt I just did I should have known better
I was just thinking about refreshing this thread until it does and the going to sleep, I was planning to go to McDonalds at one point tho.
Honestly the only thing I want to hear is that you have the exact same problem as me but I know that's not true. I have been googling small penis suicide and there are tons of results, not sure if it helps at all tho
I don't want to tell anyone at all, not because I'm afraid or ashamed but because they would double down on trying to help me and I don't want that at all I just want to be left alone
if you really want to deal with this situation - you've made the step to talk about it at least - you have a glimmer that something is wrong and you want to do something about it - at least you made it that far
32 - male - canadian - native - 15 year sober with aa - work - make a living - not rich - not poor - went through bad times as a teenager
actually went through bad depressions as a kid - come from alcoholic home - in alcoholic community - hard times - got to the point where i blacked out entire years of my teenagehood - really dark times
like you i had a problem with food - except i went the other way - i never went over 120 lbs until i was about 25 - avoided eating all the time
- ironic that captcha asks me to mark all the food lol
I don't want to make it to 32 at all, if my problems seem bad now they will be horrible at 32.
With regards to alcohol I tried being an alcoholic but since I tried to kill myself something is wrong in my body and I can't stomach it without feeling a lot of pain.
If I had access to drugs I would become and addict without thinking about it twice. Pleasure is the only thing I have found with any kind of lasting effect. Sure its fleeting but I can keep eating and I can keep getting it. I have lost several tooth's because of my lifestyls
Great people come help out some anonymous poster instead of me, I guess my next thread here should be about suicide methods even tho I know if I ever killed myself it would be with my oven
Congratulations you have managed to change my mood from sad to angry
you're here now right? that is all the matters - yesterday is gone - tomorrow doesn't exist yet
when you think about it - all of us (whether in good times or bad) are all in the same boat - all we have is now - no one has any control over the past or the future
i think captcha is fucking with me - i talk about food and now it keeps asking me to mark all food
Good kill yourself then, fat fuck.
Remember to use a chain to support your fat ass too instead of a rope.
>I'm not depressed
>I'm not suicidal
>I just don't want to get better
You ARE depressed, and while you may not be suicidal per se, the self-destruction you use as a proxy for suicide is only slightly less serious. We are not qualified to diagnose, but it hardly takes a doctor to see that you need help and you need it badly.
>I know exactly what I'm going to do because its the only thing that works
>I'm going to eat a lot and I mean a lot of u healthy food, I'm going g to feel really bad and then I'm going to sleep for a very long time
>And then I will wake up and keep ignoring everything and everyone and life will be like this forever
Almost all of the pain and misery in your life can be traced straight back to this. Even you admit that, yet you call it "the only thing that works". It is not working.
I feel like the only way I can live my life is virtually so you are right, I'm here but I'm only here, km not part of the irl world.
I haven't contacted my therapist in two monthz
>Im not depressed
Yes, you are.
>I have experienced years of depression and I don't feel anything like I felt then
The thing about depression is that it's not really a condition. It's a whole family of conditions, many of which we still have trouble telling apart, and some of which we don't even have names for. It sounds like you've traded one condition for another, but different though they may feel, you are still depressed.
It's the only thing that takes the pain away, sell its not I also enjoy lying to strangers online and promising them things I can't give them. I cant do anything else, I'm online all day
this (the virtual world) is more like soft sand in knee deep water in an ocean of misery - it helps but it won't help in the long run
you need a manned boat and you need to get to an island
I can't, I would compromise my only kind of relief which is my 4 Chan persona and yes I have one.
I can tell you tho that k find something to do and I promise myself I will commit to if and I do but after a few month I quit it all completely only to start again with something else and the. Dissappear from the world.
My days lately consist of posting here and buyi g food, that's Ll
i dont want to know your name or address
just some generic details
me - i work mostly at my computer - browse 4chan - shitpost on /b/ - troll on /pol/ - browse other chans - write on /adv/
browse other sites during the day - for info, for fun, for work, for news, for weather, procrastination and switch through four or five internet radio channels to keep me occupied, motivated or relaxed (depending on my mood), play basic old video games like halo, age of empires, rome total war, minecraft - because i need to work, i need something toopen and close fast
I post on 4 Chan, I open a. Couple docen threads a day, sometimes when I spend an hour or two looking at threads and there is nothing good I go to sleep.
This is the only kind of life I can have
I know what kind of action you mean
And I have tried and ended up more fucked up than ever
I'm sure there is a part of my body that's permanently destroyed
But the worst part is that I got threatened with going to the crazy ward
Imagine wanting to die constantly and not being able to do anything about it
I don't want to got through that again
I didn't mean kill yourself you megadork
Stop eating shit food and actually exercise; there's even a waifu app for it
You can't fix everything in one day but if you don't even try then its entirely your fault
And here it is, my meal of the night. Not pictured are my 2 icecream cones and all the trash I ate toda.
Maybe if j steam myself eating I could afford to never stop.
Do you want to blackmail us emotionally?
Gonna tell you it won't work, at least for me. I got my own share of problems.
If you want to work on your problems, we can talk.
If you just want to stuff your face, I am gone.
I feel OK tho, better than I felt in a long time.
It's not functional but hey some people go around beating prostitutes, I eat a lot of food and scream at strangers to push me to suicide