I'm 19, male, I've had 3 jobs and got fired from all 3 in under 2 months, I've never had a relationship, I don't have a driver's license and have barely ever driven, I have no future plans for college, and at this point I feel like I'm so far behind in life that there is no shot of me ever catching up in any meaningful way.
My first job I got I lost in my first week because my feet hurt so badly that I couldn't stand at the end of my third shift, that was a year and a half ago. I used to have a BMI of 37 and have been obese my entire life so problems like this are pretty normal for me. After that job, I continued applying for things online for 10 months before I found another job, mainly because my self esteem was so low that I couldn't bring myself to write an actual resume and hand one in, assuming that there was a 0% chance anyone would hire me if they met me in person first (that is why I didn't even get my first job until after I graduated high school, even though I wanted one since I was 15). In between my first and second job I lost 50 pounds, and got very expensive shoes, but it changed absolutely fuck all, I couldn't stand for the hours they wanted me to, and I got fired after a week. Third job I got 2 months after that, lost another 15 pounds in between, and I could stand for their hours, but combined with crippling depression issues, no motivation, no ambition, and constant physical pain, I couldn't do the job well enough and after 1 month and 28 days I was fired.
Sounds like you're not finding motivation and fulfilment in your work life, OP. Think about what careers interest you, and have solid ongoing job prospects. Probably the best thing to get you out of your rut and into the big money would be to start training in a rewarding skill-based segment such as carpentry and woodwork.
>I've had 3 jobs and got fired from all 3 in under 2 months
How the hell does that even happen?
>My first job I got I lost in my first week because my feet hurt so badly that I couldn't stand at the end of my third shift, that was a year and a half ago. I used to have a BMI of 37 and have been obese my entire life so problems like this are pretty normal for me.
Being obese doesn't help, but that's something you deal with using time and proper footwear. I used to have a higher BMI and I'm always on my feet. I would always limp back to my car, but now I've lost weight, have the right shoes, and I've gained a good bit of muscle. A lot of the pain you're going to experience initially is the creation of muscle you didn't even know you had.
You just have to deal with it instead of being a goddamn baby. Sometimes people don't need to adjust, sometimes it can take a few months. Also, when it comes to footwear, expensive =/= good. After trying some shoes made specifically for people in the medical industry, who are on their feet all day, nothing helped. You know what helped me? Off-trail hiking shoes.
I feel like one of the main things that prevents me from holding a job besides constant physical pain from bad feet bad posture and bad knees, is complete lack of any desire to actually make money. For all of my jobs so far, despite them being literally the 3 easiest jobs on the market probably (stocking shelves twice, unloading trucks once,) I have found it so mentally and physically taxing to actually work 8 hour shifts 3-5 times a week, that minimum wage is not even close to enough pay to make me actually want to do it, yet at the same time the actual quality of my work is so bad that I don't even deserve minimum wage nevermind actually good pay. It feels like I worked my ass off to make piss all for money and still didn't deserve to be paid with the terrible quality of my work, so my money just sits in a bank account where I never spend anything.
I spend so little money that my only real motivation to go to work was so that I could eventually rack up work experience, the money isn't worth it for how hard it is for me. Sadly though that is a self defeating prophecy and only showing up to work so that a year from now I could say that I've worked for a year didn't motivate me enough to actually push through the mental and physical pain and I ended up just doing terrible work all the time, completely demotivated.
At this point, I feel guilty spending any money because an average 19 year old should normally have a girlfriend, a car, bill's, rent, and all this other shit that I don't have, and I am too old to spend like a 16 year old working their first job and blowing their money on whatever the fuck they feel like it even though that's basically the situation I'm in.
>such as carpentry and woodwork.
I keep seeing your fucking posts everywhere.
>I feel guilty spending any money because an average 19 year old should normally have a girlfriend, a car, bill's, rent, and all this other shit that I don't have
Have you actually hung around a lot of people at 19? Most are still living with family because it's the best way to save money. You either have to be middle class, living paycheck to paycheck, or really goddamn lucky to have a good job, to be able to live on your own at that age. I ended up moving out at 18, but that's because someone offered to let me stay with them for free. Most people I know end up moving out in their 20s, and they actually have a good amount of money saved up.
Almost all people I know my age are on either side of a coin that I'm in the middle of. Most of them either still feel like making money is a novel thing and happily spend lots of money and enjoy themselves, or are making enough money to pay bills and move out. I know it shouldn't matter what other people are doing but there's an extreme jealousy of both of those groups that I can't overcome, for example my ex girlfriend is someone that had basically all of the same problems as me but way more success. She is fat, depressed, and usually gets the shit end of the deal as far as life is concerned, yet despite those factors and the fact that she is female and a year younger than me, she has a year of work experience, no difficulty working, has had her driver's license for a year, and is way more successful in general. There is the burning feeling that compared to people like her, I am objectively inferior and no matter what I do it will always be that way, it completely kills my motivation to try and improve things, and just generally makes me feel like complete shit all the time.
Well, you kind of chickened out and ran away from your problems instead of dealing with them like an adult. Of course you're going to be a little behind. And as long as you keep running, and keep getting fired, you're only going to make it harder on yourself. And then your feelings of jealousy and inferiority will only exacerbate.
I'm not that guy but there's a pretty big demand for carpentry and shit. I'm not and I don't but I know quite a few contractors and builders and they are all having a hell of a time finding labor, skilled and unskilled. They are hiring young guys with zero experience and teaching them a trade from the bottom up. Woodwork, tile, you name it.
People keep bringing it up because it's a real fucking thing, all over the country. Getting harder and harder to find people willing to do blue collar work. That is why you keep hearing it, because if anyone out there has no idea what to do with their lives and doesn't mind the kind of job where you shower at the end of the day instead of the beginning there's a lot of opportunity.
If you only want white collar work and want to be able to sip latte and browse the fucking internet all day you might just as well play the lotto, there's a lot more lazy computer geeks than there are jobs for lazy computer geeks and it's only getting worse.
I wouldn't say I really ran from anything. It's a problem of motivation, It's not that I'm somehow avoiding failure by just not trying in the first place, it's more like I just don't feel like I can accomplish anything starting now.
Look, I've been where you are. I'm not motivated for shit-tier jobs that pay nothing while being forced to work with lazy people that seem to gain everything from nepotism. But you have to grit your teeth and bare it, because you really need that experience, especially after having been fired 3 times. Even if you manage to go to school, you're going to have a hell of a time finding work because of your being fired and little experience.
>It's not that I'm somehow avoiding failure by just not trying in the first place
Things get "too tough" and you let it go to shit. You aren't trying.
To be fair my first two jobs I didn't have orthotics and was more obese, and I quite literally could not stand after the third or fourth days, so it wasn't as much a problem of will power as it was physical inability, but you are right on my third one I guess.
It's just really difficult pushing through so much physical pain as well as emotional stress in the short term with the only real benefit of long term work experience. When I got to the point where after work I would literally just soak my feet in an ice bath and sit there crying I just felt like quitting.
How do you find the motivation to try and work as hard as you can through that much stress for minimum wage and fingers crossed that you won't get fired? I honestly feel like even if I tried my hardest I still would have got fired anyway which killed my motivation even more, although I'm probably just saying that out of depression, and I didn't try my hardest really.