I don't think I've ever been this upset with my wife before. Here's the rundown.
>Wife and I discussing pot with parents.
>She tells me five years ago she smoked a ton with one of her friends at a convention.
>Slapped across the face by this, had no clue. Visibly upset.
>Her father lost his job to pot, his family shortly after.
>Figured I'd never get to smoke pot again due to her being traumatized by what it caused.
>Passed up countless opportunities thinking she'd be furious.
>Turns out the whole time she didn't care if I did or not.
I don't know how to feel, but I know that I'm certainly not on cloud nine. I don't know if her not telling me about it for five years is what upsets me, the fact that she's acting like it's no big deal, or all the missed opportunities; probably both.
Like she didn't think her smoking pot would be a big deal to me even though every fucking time I ever went out drinking I would let her know three days in advance and feel bad that I wanted to have a good time with my friends. Part of me feels like it's my fault as well because I "assumed" that a drunken abusive father would sour her on the idea of going out drinking/ smoking ever again.
I just... I fucking don't know, am I worked up over nothing? Let the past be past and all that, but isn't it common decency to let your significant other know about these things in a timely manner? I mean if she didn't think this was a big deal what else might not be?
Yes, that's absolutely where this problem stems. You chose interpretation over communication.
How was she supposed to be "decent" enough to tell you something you didn't communicate to her?
Dude, go smoke a joint. You'll feel much better.
jesus dude, how are you mad at her for your own assumption
how is she supposed to know you'd assume she had a lifelong ban on pot because of her family history? you literally could have asked. you are mad at her for not assuming you'd assume something based off of a story she told you about her life?
>WELL I TELL HER ABOUT MY DRINKING
yeah she probably thinks that weird
Well it was a legit traumatizing part of her life. Her father nearly killed their mother and possibly raped her younger sister. I figured anything that might've been associated with her dick of a father would rock the boat. I know that making assumptions is fucking stupid and all that but given the situation I'd like to think it was a fairly logical decision.
You're not hearing what you're being told. Stop figuring, assuming, presuming, concluding, extrapolating, interpolating, or even thinking in general.
And no, when you have a wife standing right in front of you it's the farthest thing from logical to assume rather than communicate.
>i know assumptions are stupid
>but given the circumstances i think my assumption not to actually ask was a fairly logical assumption
no. even if it was, how is this her fault? you made a decision for yourself without actually consulting her on it. now you are blaming her for not literally reading your mind, the way you tried to read hers.
by your own fucking logic, shes a lesbian because her dick of a father had a dick.