I feel so false, I'm constantly changing who I am to adapt to others in social situations, I never really feel like myself. Its getting to me. Is this human nature to do this? If not what can I do to be more myself? To stop feeling false?
I try to be as I am, but im way to boring, I feel like shutting people out when they try to talk to me and I just want to be left alone.
Being alone brings you closer to God
Well, its normal to try and appear to have relevant tastes infront of people you're trying to impress, but its really all about being outgoing, and portaying yourself in a very professional and non faggy way.
Its not too hard you're probably just shy and insecure.
I'm the same way OP, but i very recently noticed that i started being more myself after hanging around people for a while.
Some of them stop talking to me after a while but some stay and those are my real friends.
I think it will all work out over time, especially if you act 2 different ways with 2 different people and hang out with both of them.
I used to feel the EXACT same way. I was who I was with. I felt like I was a mirror of those I was around. My friends' interests were mine.
That died when I couldn't be around them all the time. When I found what really drove me.
In my case it was puzzles and languages. I love exerting my knowledge and logic to a problem, so now I spend my freetime programming and rock-climbing (which I see as a physical puzzle), and I've been learning German for almost 9 years.
It's easy to say, but find what really interests YOU and explore that in every way possible.
You'll find your way.
There's no need to force it
If you're capable and fine living alone then do it
Not going to lie people never have anything bad to say about it but in saying that I feel unrealistic and my problem comes down with holding conversation over periods of time especially with people like my girl who wants to talk to me all the time. I run out of things to say and just becomes boring and repetitive and I don't want to lose interest so I question if its me being boring. Like right now I just couldn't reply I had nothing.
Yeah I see what you mean, sorts out those who are real friends. I just always feel inadequate so end up pushing people away.
This here speaks volumes to me, I relate so hard things is I have developed interest but only ever do them by myself and to some degree, they feel like more of an escape and I pursue them solely alone.
OH! Well thats a totally different problem.
That just means you're insecure in yourself, and you're afraid of how the others will think of you if you try and speak freely on something, i.e. youre bad at creating new conversation.
And really that just boils down in being able to asses and size someone up correctly so you have talking points and know what kind of person they are.
But really its endless, if you know the persons personality like the back of your hand, and are close, like my girlfriend could just take all day about current affair of politics, relevant global news topics, our favorite parts of history, random interest things we wanna do, fuck i could go on but you get the point.
stop being insecure and know who the person is that you're talking to, and what you can and can't talk about with them, and attaining comfortability with them.
Yeah you start sounding more and more like me.
My best friends know i push people away for no reasons, so the cling to me like there's no tomorow. And they know when to give me space.
Being like a mirror has many pros to it as well.
Use that power.
I have no reason to be insecure but I'm always doubting myself so you're right. How do I break this?
Also you're spot on, I'm worried I'm losing interest idc about her opinions or we just haven't got to a point where we can talk for hours on end, I try and she does but its dying hard.
>How do i break this?
You tell me.
Do you have body issues?
Are you overweight?
Is there any disenfranchising things that hold you back from you really being you?
And im not so sure because i dont know how you and her met or anything of the sort, but just stalk her on facebook, look at her posts, look at her likes, look at what she follows, ask her about her interests, do your research, and even if the shit she likes is gay and unappealing as fuck, you gotta get into it man so you can hold a conversation, and get the comfortableness going.
And usually, once you find out certain things about a person, interests, fashion, food and such, opinions on religion and shit, you can deduce their views on politics, or even life views or ambitions and just go on from there with endless conversation.
She's a dumb idiot broad who is really just eye candy, which in that case, just pump and dump friend.
I'm pretty lean 73kg, have abs and what know. Would say I'm at ottermode so I look good without shirt and I'm quiet vascular so I look lean with a shirt, I'm not short, I don't want to sound over cocky but I often turn heads, I know how I look isn't an issue. Mentally I worry however and I've struggle before and often questioned life in my past, though I broke that years ago when I got into gym and I no longer am who I was before.
However I always doubt myself, never feel like I do enough, I push myself really hard just to feel like I do stuff. People tell me that I often overdo it.
>question life in the past
>always doubt yourself
>never feel like you do enough
What in your past are you questioning?
What are you usually doubting yourself in?
And who are you not doing enough for? Your friends, family? Her?
>question life in the past
I live my past where it was, I mean I went through a very dark stage in my life and I just questioned everything the point to life, felt like nothing went my way and almost entirely isolated myself, I broke that, started training meeting people. Socially I'm fine but I still feel false and that I'm appeasing others.
>What are you usually doubting yourself in?
That I'm never doing things as good as I should be doing them, that I could improve in certain ways and that I should almost be perfect in every way lmao that I can't accept mistakes that make me look bad being at work or in front of peers.
>never feel like you do enough
That I need more, to better myself, that I haven't achieved enough for others whether it be at work even though I'm extremely hard working. Always feel like its never enough anything I do I question whether I push myself.
Well if you can't be upfront with me, i can't fully help you, but whatever.
As for the rest of your crazy rambling, it sounds seriously like you like evaluate your self worth off of how other people view you, and what your reputation is with them, rather than focusing on yourself and being who you want to.
It is entirely possible you're with a girl you're just not compatible with and you two are deluded to that because of a physical attraction.
But otherwise, just learn to be happy with yourself, and be confident in all your choices and beliefs and if the other people cant respect that and you're not being an annoying cunt about it, there should be no real problem.
Other than that, join the military, that'll give you some balls.