I just realised my life is meaningless.
I have a job, where I don't really impact the world, I'm a bad boss, therefore probably make others lives worse.
I don't have any friends, so spend my weekends in bed watching TV. I have absolutely no motivation to leave my bed at the weekend or on a holiday.
I'm a 26 year old virgin, most likely gay, but with no prospects of a relationship due to the above.
Despite not wanting to be, I'm sure most people, including my family and acquaintances think I'm an ass.
Should I try and find meaning in my life? If so, how?
Life is meaningless. You hit the nail on the head. That meaninglessness is freeing.
To suffer, to experience joy, to live, to be a sentient being is a miracle in itself.
Do you have Netflix by any chance? Try to find a movie called "It's Such a Beautiful Day."
If you want, I can elaborate and try to explain myself better.
I feel you man, I'm 5 years younger.
I dunno I was sitting there talking to this 8/10 that's actually interested in me for some reason, but I can't stay interested in talking. I just get bored and start thinking about how like shitty of a person I am compared to her. It's really depressing. This sucks, so basically she's gonna get friendzoned out of nowhere because I can't muster the battle to care.
Probably a far fetched idea OP but what has helped me is reading into how the human brain functions / works. The first thing you need it to realize that there's a problem, which you're obviously doing since you're posting here, and then the next step is working to fix it.
I suggest you read some books about the human brain or search online for some articles. One that might interest you:
I understand. But please go to a Christian broadcast channel if you are that bounded to your bed. You understand something is wrong with you and you must find God to either make you at peace or help you correct yourself.
Wat? You either know you are or aren't regardless of experience. I'm still a KV but I know I'm straight.
Are you part of the large population of jailhouse fags that 4chan contains.
Or just gay?
Although you will probably disagree with me, it took me a long time to realize this, but there is beauty in life. Being able to read poetry that somebody from a different time period wrote. To see parts of this planet; waterfalls, canyons, desserts, rivers, woods, etc. To see a painting that numbers of people have trekked to see before. just to be present and experience anything at all.
I think to answer your underlying question is this: Discover what you want to do, be present in the moment, read a book, I would suggest a book of poetry called Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. Go to a place you've never been before. I recently went to an airport and I just sat and walked around. I watched people getting off flights, I heard announcements saying where those flights were arriving from, I saw families reunited, some looked worried, some were excited, some looked as though this was a routine they had performed a numerous times. Some were dressed nice, and some were dressed less nice. Just exist in the world and see where your journey takes you, go in that direction.
There is an old country song by John Prine that really resonates with me. The chorus goes "blow up your tv/throw away your paper/move to the country/ build you a home/plant a little garden/ eat a lot of peaches/ try to find Jesus/ on your own"
You're part of a bigger picture. Whether your job impacts people or not doesn't matter. If you feel unsatisfied, look for another job. Try to help others in your life. Donate your change, hold doors open for people, smile at a stranger.