so my gf dumped me a week ago because i'm too boring for her
long story short:
>be in a 2 year old relationship with her
>she studies 20 miles away
>I'm 5 years older
>I don't have many friends etc, kind of a loner
>she gradually became less and less interested in seeing me at my place on the week ends, even though it's much better than hers
>started to see each others more and more at her parent's on the week-ends (like that's helping)
>she started to go more and more out with friends from university
>she never introduced me to her friends or invited me
>she complained that I'm not fun when we are both alone together, we don't laugh, we are not joyful
>she was realizing that she was having much more fun with her friends than she did alone with me
How do I rebound from this?
I don't know if I should try to get her back or not... I mean I have a decent job / flat and hobbies, it's just that I'm lonely as fuck
I don't understand how we could have been in a perfect relationship for the first year where it was total bliss and she was happy to spend tons of time only with me, to her just being impressed by the fact that college parties are fun and that going out in bars with friends to get drunk is more fun than spending time with your bf
like, is it worth fucking a good relationship over this?
She's wanting to go out and have fun and fuck around. Rather than sound like a selfish cunt and come out and say that, she's pushing the responsibility onto you. Making it out you're boring her and you're the one at fault. That way, it makes her feel guilt free about ending a relationship to go and whore it up, while possibly having you as a backup.
If you're going to date females, you need to learn to read what's under the words. This is a general thing just about every female does. Don't listen to what they say word for word, look at their actions behaviour and intent.
You should never try to get anyone back. When a relationship is over, it's over. Looking backward is a waste of time.
I think she took way too long to put her foot down about whether you could provide for her needs. Yes, I'm sure that time with friends and classmates opened her eyes to a new lifestyle. Whether it was worth ditching her old one is a question she'll have to confront on her own. The consequences are hers to bear in that regard. That having been said, don't forget about your stake in this too. Can a girl who's always out with other people (whom you're not even made to meet) really provide for your needs? She's not even around. How can you be getting anything out of an absentee girlfriend who only whines during those few moments she does spend with you?
You work on a life that suits your tastes. Also consider being more attentive to how those needs of yours are met. Don't stand idly by while the situation sours. The more you're being expected to compromise, the more you should begin to ask yourself whether the purpose of a relationship is to conform to other people. There's a reasonable limit to that sort of thing.
what I can't warp my head around is how happy we were after 6 months of dating (summer of 2014), and we really enjoyed spending time together as a couple.
I wans't going out much other than with her, but honestly I was working on that. She wasn't going out that much, but I was never mad or jealous that she was doing social things on her own because it's totally normal.
Now it seems she is more into going out to bars, more with friends that are into partying or having a "cool" lifestyle (like'"I'm fucking up my studies but at least I'm traveling" etc), doing stuff last-minute etc.
That's something I've been over for a few years now (I'm 27) but honestly I can understand that she thinks it's cool .
What I don't understand is why she is comparing our life as a couple (after being together for 2 years) and the fun she can get while partying with friends.
I planned for us to do cool shit as well when we were together but usually she couldn't and we ended up at her parent's house for the week-end, watching shitty tv shows and that was it. Meanwhile she'd be invited by her friends to do cooler stuff while keeping me out of the loop.
I just don't know what I did wrong, it fucking sucks
Yeah, she changed. You can't get your head around people changing? Life is all about change. Learn2evolution. Much like with evolution, lots of changes are bad ones. Lots of changes are harmful. But that's her mistake to make. You can't stop the force of change.
You didn't do anything wrong in that respect. Hers was the big mistake in letting this go on for so long. As soon as she felt the need to change, she should have tried to incorporate you into it. Instead she shut you out and then blamed you for being incompatible with her one-sided choices.
I'm not going to be upset with you because of a lack of understanding. It'll take time for you to think this through. However I'm not okay with you blaming yourself. That's just retarded. You weren't the one who made the active decisions here. Stop pointing the finger at yourself like a moron.
>yfw OP's post is litterally hotline bling
I guess it just sucks that she was totally perfect for me and then she felt the need to be more social and be impressed by generic chad's things. Her grades are fucking up as well.
She says she still wants us to be talk to each other and be friends though, what's your advice on this guys?
>I don't know if I should try to get her back or not...
Naw bro you grew apart. Trying to get back to where you were is like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. Find a girl that's more you. Maybe get some friends and shit.
>She says she still wants us to be talk to each other and be friends though
lol. What does that mean? Like you're too boring to spend time with but she wants to be friends regardless? I mean sure you don't have to hate each other but friends is prolly a strong word for someone you don't want to be around.