My girlfriend of about 2 years has effectively been putting her career in front of the relationship from a couple of months ago.
It has degraded to the point where any time spent with her is almost work related. I've brought it up with her but I get it thrown back at me as she has a time limit (she's approaching 30, she's gotta get into her job before that apparently)
This means millions of fights and I'm salty as.
My brain says enough is enough but my heart says stay on and give her a chance it will blow over.
Depends on how close to 30 she is. If she has no time for you within a few months time, get out. Based on what you said, it sounds like she's not super into the relationship. Talk with her more. Find out what her plan is and where you fit into that. If it doesn't sound like something you want to spend your life doing, tell her that. Gotta communicate.
Have you told her that specifically? That you feel like her priorities have shifted. A relationship is a team effort. If she's having a rough time, you're there to help her. And the other way around. I don't know the specifics obviously, but it doesn't sound right to let it sort itself out.
This kind of happened with my sister and her husband of 7 years. She's a film editor and was really focused on her career.
She left him last April to pursue a better opportunity in LA.
So you're probably fucked.
Good for her, dude. Stop being an insecure prick piece of shit. Would you stop her from going to school? Back off and fucking wait. She needs this, she's not blowing you off to get drunk with friends she's WORKING wtf lolol
Depends on what you expect from a relationship and from her.
Why not try to work out a compromise with her? See how far she is willing to work in your favour?
Did something major change in her life to make her change this much?
Maybe she is just bored of the relationship - any of these things might be applicable.
But what is most important is that this is a big enough issue for you to want to confront her on it. Ask her how long she thinks that this "phase" might take a hold on her and see what she says.
Its all subjective and dependent on you.
Maybe even take a walk outside, put some music on and think about this on your own and what stances you hold given some potential replies that she has for you concerning this topic.
Good luck OP - tough as hell situation there!
Her setting her career up or vice versa for you is legit far more important than your fucking relationship. Seriously this is the rest of her life here and it has to come first
damn man that's rough
I wish it were that black and white, it's a slighty more complex situation otherwise it wouldn't phase me as much
Fantastic advice, cheers. That really does ring true, I'll give it a good shot.
Can you elaborate more on the complex stuff?
I'm also very focused on work and school so I understand where she is coming from. What I do with my bf is set a day of the week (every Sunday) to hangout and if I have more time, I'll hangout with him more during the week.
Also try to make plans a lot in advance so that she can get the work done by the time the day you hangout comes.
If she cares, she'll be willing to do this for you.
I don't really know your situation in detail but she must have some free time. How many hrs does she work per week? Does she go to school too? Does she have a lot of bills she needs to pay and maybe she's working more because of that?
Also, work/school makes me forget about my relationship problems and I use that as an escape. Do you guys have any unresolved conflict? Good luck, OP!