i have a hard time accepting that i'm "good enough" for people. especially for my boyfriends.
i try my best not to show it, but i get pretty depressed thinking about how they'll move up to a "better" partner as soon as they come. i get that's human nature, but i wish i could be someone's personal 10/10.
i do try to be the best girlfriend i can be, but sometimes i get a little scared and i end up feeling like i'm setting myself up for humiliation or embarrassment.
does anyone know this feel?
I have been like this for a long time, what helped me is learning to read people. Be more perceptive and less judgemental of yourself and others, and if you see something doesn't fit, work on it so it does.
People don't want perfect though who do are usually don't worth it because they need some growing up to be able to respect you as a person and not just as a tool to fulfill their fantasies. Have some self esteem be confident and do your best, some people will value for it, others won't, even others will be hateful. Stick to those who value you. Don't take others judgement as holy truth, they make mistakes just like you.
Hey I totally know that feel - I'm in the same boat at the moment where everything is great in the relationship, and I can see my bf and I being a long-term thing. But even then I still have these thought that he'll just eventually get bored of me or find someone prettier or smarter or something like that.
I don't really have a solid piece of advice because I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it. But I think that you should try not fretting about it too much, and just try and savour what you've got. It's not good to dwell on things that may or may not happen.
> what helped me is learning to read people
interesting you brought that up... i think i'm pretty horrible at this to be honest. not sure how i can go about bettering myself at this.
thanks for the advice
yeah you're right about savoring the moments... my boyfriend is very good to me, but these thoughts just keep coming i guess the more i realize how much i love him.
i wonder if my boyfriend ever thinks the same way; might make me feel a bit better or normal. i'm afraid to ask though because i think it'll make me look weak, clingy, insecure and dependent on him.
i think about doing this again sometimes.
i used to date a guy who was much less attractive than me to a point that strangers would point this out, but he ended up trying to cheat on me. the girl rejected him in the end, but when i rejected taking him back, he ended up telling me the other girl was prettier and so on and so forth. pretty much killed whatever self-esteem i had at the time then.
>> what helped me is learning to read people
>interesting you brought that up... i think i'm pretty horrible at this to be honest. not sure how i can go about bettering myself at this.
By being more perceptive and less judgemental. Live less in your head and more in reality. If you are preoccupied, you won't notice what happens really around you, you just seek justification for your fears. Next time you are with someone, make a promise to yourself you pay attention to them and live in the moment. Ideas will come naturally.