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Is it possible for suicide to be rational? Or is it always due to an episode of clinical depression?
I have paranoid schizophrenia, and I became completely disabled because of this illness. I take anti-psychotic medication and visit mental health professionals regularly, but medication only treats active psychotic symptoms (like delusions and hallucinations), and doesn't treat the disability caused by the disease, like the loss of social abilities, disintegration of personality and intellect, difficulty speaking, and a whole range of other symptoms for which medication simply doesn't exist.
Whenever I'm lucid enough and not engrossed in grandiose and paranoid delusions, I feel like killing myself, since I realize how severely disabled and crippled I am by this disease.
Do you believe that it's a rational choice to desire to kill oneself, given my situation? Can suicide be a rational choice?
Also, I know that euthanasia for the mentally ill is legal in some countries, like Belgium and the Netherlands. What kind of euthanasia, that is offered over there, is the least likely to make one back away? I would back away from a lethal injection due to instinct, but I wouldn't back away if I would only have to drink something that would just make me fall asleep and then die, without any suffering. Is this kind of euthanasia available?
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I go on a mental health chatroom where the majority of people are schizophrenic. Perhaps you could talk to them about these issues, since they'll understand. http://theircvillage.com/chat/
Do you have a therapist? They may be able to help you with these kinds of thoughts, as well.
The negative symptoms of schizophrenia sound incredibly frustrating to me; I have depression, and I'm very thankful that it's at least slightly treatable through antidepressants. But there really isn't any drug for negative symptoms if you're schizophrenic.
Therapy really could help, though. You should try to find a therapist with experience in treating schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders.
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