How do I know I really LOVE someone?
I've been with a guy for 5 years, we're usually fine and relaxed but we fight and breakup very often, only to come back after whatever was wrong got "fixed" but it always ends the same way, like beaten dogs.
I've been talking to this guy online for months and he's really nice, gives me confidence, makes me believe in myself and he's getting me into new things.
He feels really...special.
Problem is I still "love" my boyfriend, but then I think what love really is, he's not helping me enough, he gets really upset and fights me over things I can't control sometimes I feel like he's just keeping me for sex and some small talk while he financially "helps" me.
I really like this other guy but he also lives extremely far away from me, I want him but I don't know if I'm really "done" with my boyfriend...and honestly I'm scared of taking the leap, there's something there I'm sure of it but there's so many what ifs.
I'm currently suicidal, depressed, moody, slowly putting on weight because of all these problems and my boyfriend "tries" to help but at most he just gives a small talk while this guy has been there and talked me out of doing some stuff I rather not mention.
What are my choices? How do I make up my mind? How do I know it's not just a phase and things will get better with my boyfriend?
I've been with him for years but I never felt LOVED.
Youre being kinda a birch
How would you like it if he was talking to some grill behind your back about all his problems with you? What if he is going through some shit? You aren't really supposed to shop around for a new guy before you dump the other, because that makes you an asshole. You obviously dont give a lick about him just about being woth him so find a new guy to load your issues on and try to be faithful to him.
Your honestly sounding like a ninth grader anon. Dont be a Cuck
Tell him exactly what your wrote at the bottom on your post and if he responds positively then you can work with him and try to fix things.
If he doesnt.
Then leave him (you should have already done this seeing as your cheating on him emotionally and the only thing stopping you from doing it physically is distance. ..) how would you feel of it turned out this new guy had a gf or fiancé and was talking to you like this.2 chatting you up, whatever else and then when you finaly meet him he has a SO ? Theb what? Are you the kind of slut that would fuck another womans man ?
I've tried talking to him several times but it always ends with him getting upset.
I've been talking to the guy as a friend, but as a friend he has been a better boyfriend in some months and gave me more support than anything my boyfriend did in 5 whole years.
This made me realize how much I've been missing out and how it feels like he never cared much after the second year.
I care about him, I care so much that I've been debating what I should do and debating if there's something wrong with me, I've been blaming myself and it's just making things worse, I WANT THINGS TO WORK OUT but he's never there for me, and out of all my friends this one is the one that puts his neck on the line for me, if it wasn't for him trying to help me in an act of friendship and actually caring I wouldn't be here.
I don't want to have feelings for him, I tried my best with my boyfriend but it feels like he's not trying to put up his best face for me.
What can a person do when they're on the verge of suicide and the only help comes from someone else while their current "best friend" just manages make himself the victim? What can I do if that person is extremely nice and makes me feel like a real person again with dreams?