Is there anyway to know for sure whether or not people hate me? I'm constantly paranoid that people don't like me and it's locked me out of possible friendships before. Is there anyway to tell for sure?
Because I've often avoided people assuming they don't like me off of baseless shit. Here's an example, I was friends with this one dude but I thought his friends didn't like me so I didn't really hang around him since he was always with them. I only learned recently they that actually did and I missed out because of it.
I've also had the opposite happen where I hang around with people thinking they like me only for it to turn out they didn't and just didn't tell me. You feel like an absolute fucking retard when that happens.
Start doing (small) nice things for people you don't really care about or barely know.
It'll break the connection in your brain between how you act and how people view you, because you know that those people can't have a good or bad opinion of you since they don't even really know you.
Then, you'll keep being nice and good to the people you're worried about, because weather or not they like you is irrelevant to how you treat them. (Since you're generally nice to everyone.) Once they start returning the favor, you'll know that they like you too and everything will grow naturally from there.
Just don't let anyone take advantage of you, and I promise this will work. It worked for me.
That's not a bad strategy at all. I already consider myself a nice guy but I could always keep trying a little more but still be wary of people who would take advantage of someone's kindness
I hear this all the time, your problem anon is that you give too many fucks, stop giving all the fucks, there is a finite number of fucks in this world and you can go around passing them out all willy nilly, ppl will walk all over you.
Nah but seriously op, you can be sociable and nice, and still not give a fuck any which way. That's just being a decent human being. Keep your inner circle small, limit that effort to the ppl in your life you really fuck with and who fucks with you. Otherwise you'll spread yourself too thin trying to please everyone and miss out on the connections that matter.
People who dislike you don't bother with you.
No one has the time or energy to search someone out just to hate them. If people spend time with you, they like spending time with you.