I'm 21, beginning to premature bald, fat, basically a NEET who is terrible with socializing (I have Aspergers and never really fit in anywhere, they few friends I do have in real life rarely talk to me and my online friends who I talk to more with, they're alright people but i know they are sick of my shit), is beta, feeling depraved as fuck and lives in the countryside with no drivers license.
I'm stumped what I should do with my life, I thought I would have figured things out but no i'm currently an isolated loser and I've been feeling like shit since like late last year, I feel like I ruined my life and feel like I can't accomplish anything.
my mom thinks I should go to school but I've always hated schoolwork since I was a kid and even if I wanted to put in the effort....what the fuck do I study, all I want is to be a happy family man.
I've never felt normal and I feel like i'll never be, insult me all you want I just need good advice.
Do you have enough budget for school/can take a loan AND have enough motivation in you to stick to it and turn your life around? motivation is the key here. If yes, then choose what youd like to do. I'm antisocial myself, I chose IT where you just do interesting stuff without too much need for interaction. also true for most STEM, pick what you like. Make sure you don't pick pure science unless you wanna be a professor though
>lists all the thing he hasn't done/got
>"I'm stumped with what I should do"
Holy fuck maybe tick some of that shit off your list. Get your license, get a job, get in shape. Everything in life is effort. If you don't want to expend any energy just die. If you want a life you have to work for it.
among the traditional engineering branches if you wont like what you choose you can easily switch within the 1st year.
If you like how stuff works and not afraid of math/physics you can go into engineering, but you wont invent the wheel and most l)jobs are in QA of your field or manufacturing on a plant, which is cool if that is what you would like.
If you want to invent an interesting wheel, but one that isn't necessarily needed atm, you can pick pure science, become a prof. and research, but there is teaching involved.
In IT, especially computer science, you have to work ALOT even out of job hours, every task is learning something new. you have to really like computer stuff, do it in your free time as a hobby to prosper in this area, or you just tire yourself up.
These are the fields I'm familiar with, I'm sure a college councellor can give you more information (and the internet)
Anyway the key for education and job is motivation, going through hard times, depressions, low grades, other life troubles (I don't know what you've got) and getting back on. Else it will be wasted time and money. this is also true regarding everything in life
Do you think the rest of us pop out of our moms vaginas with a perfect resume? Anyone who has ever had a job has had to get a first job at some point. My first job was working at a shitty town paper. My brothers was cleaning blood and guts off the walls of a butchers. My sisters first was at a fast food place. Who gives a fuck what you put on your resume, most people bullshit it all anyways. Just make it a priority and concentrate your efforts on applying to everywhere you can. It will develop your social skills as well as make you money.
Have you been to school? Have you ever volunteered? Have you ever achieved anything? Have you ever enjoyed something? Can you move your body from your home to another place in the daytime? Can you stand on two legs? Can you write? Can you speak?
If you have answered yes to ANY OF these questions, you can get a job. I have worked as a news reporter, a cashier, a stockperson, a coach, a laborer, a cleaner, a cinematographer, a driver and a welder. Before working each job I had never worked in anything like that field. If another human being can accomplish a task, so can you.
Step one: Work on your fitness and eating healthier. You live in the country? Great, go jogging and enjoy the scenery. Drink lots of water.
Step two: Get your driver's license.
Step three: Work on finding a job so that you can buy a car and be more self-sufficient. Eventually work up to renting an apartment/house with someone.
You say that your mom wants you to go to school. This is awesome because you have her support. Much better than being alone. I'd say go to school and major in business or anything that seems feasible/interesting to you.
Technical college would be a good option for you, OP.
you should do more things will which empower you and give you confidence. maybe try going on a diet and exercising. you could change your situation if you really wanted to. i was kind of like you but 17 and skinny. i turned my life around and now i am confident, have lots of friends, do boxing, go to university and have had gfs. most of you insecurities will disappear over time once you start socialising more.
there is a difference between "can't do" and "never tried". You need to build up your confidence and get life experience. Start by getting a part time job as ANYTHING- mcdonalds, retail,construction whatever- just lose the NEET status. It is part time, you can get off once you figure out what you want. Get over your interaction troubles- I have them too, and it is showing, but you learn to fake it till u make it. With time it is showing less and less. Read on the internet about it. also workout 2-3 days a week
school like highschool yes.
volunteer a few times yes but rarely.
achieved anything, not really unless graduating high school is an achievement.
enjoyed something.....uhh it's been a while since I felt truly happening.
move my body yes, i'm fat but i can move.
the later yes.
it's winter right now and it doesn't look safe, i lack a proper sidewalk but i guess i can do that.
maybe in the spring i could start.
the only issue i have with shaving it is that I have to keep shaving it bald all the time.
I've never learned how to ride a bike, i never had a good place to do that.
There you go,a bunch of things you can do. Write those things down and you have a resume. Start at a bottom feeder job because they will hardly care if you're an incompetent who can barely conquer the basics of existing, and work your way up from there. Fast food, janitorial, security guard etc. You said you wanted to be a family man, what does that entail to you? What was your plan to get to that point?
> I just don't know what I want.
This is the first thing you want to start working on. A lot of people live their whole lives without trying to do what they like and then they wonder why they're depressed in their late 20s. Maybe there are things you like, but you don't know how to make a living off them, maybe there are things that you thought could be interesting, but you were too lazy and passive to get into them. Or maybe you just made a routine for yourself and never experienced anything outside it, so you have no idea what could interest you. The point is that you need to set a goal for your future and that goal must be realistic and based on something you enjoy or at least have some interest in. I can't tell you what it is, for me it was programming, I just felt that I like it and I could be good at it, learned it from internet tutorials after two years of NEETing and managed to get a job in the field. And if nothing comes to mind you just have to get out of your comfort zone and experience something different. Many activities that seem scary now can get pleasant after some "practice".
It may take time to even set this kind of goal, let alone achieve it, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to find it and you shouldn't feel depressed for not having it yet. Just ignore that impending sense of doom you're feeling, life isn't really that bleak.
On a different note, I know close to nothing about aspergers, so I don't know how much use this advice will be to you, but I'm going to give it anyway. Work on your social skills. Read stuff about communication and psychology, go out there and talk to people. The more you know about how people think and why they act in certain ways, the better you will be at dealing with them. Experience is also a big factor, of course. And try to build up your self confidence. Find areas you're feeling insecure about and work towards improving them.
>Maybe in the spring I could start
Nope. No excuses. If you don't want to work out outside, do it inside. Look up fitness blender on youtube. They have a variety of great cardio workouts you can do at home, inside, with no equipment.
You body is your fault only and no one else's. Not the weather's, not the season's, not how busy you are, or that you don't feel like it. It's your fault and you need to exercise.
At least start with a healthy diet.
I just said i have no license, even if I do drive, I don't think I have the capability to drive some giant ass truck. I get distracted way too easily, and have a short attention span.
>unless graduating high school is an achievement.
It is - it proves you are a functioning human being. If you were completely worthless you wouldn't have managed even this.
You're worth more than you're giving yourself credit for, OP.
>I can't because [excuse], [excuse] and [excuse]
Hannibal crossed the Alps, Alexander conquered everything in his path. You share a common ancestor with both of them. Stop telling yourself reasons you can't do it and put the effort in. Everything is failure until you're successful.
I dig, and OP is probably making some excuses. at the same time, maybe being a truck driver really is a poor fit for him.
OP, instead of viewing it like "I can't because this and that" perhaps you could view it in terms of solutions. for instance, take truck driving, or security guard work, or whatever other people suggest or you can brainstorm up. list them and then go thru all the reasons why each one would be hard to do. most of those problems will have solutions. it's just a matter of finding which ones take the least effort to overcome.
for instance truck driving. you already said why you don't think it's a good idea, now look - honestly - at what it'd take to overcome those reasons.
>no license - get license (not that simple I know but bear with me)
>no capability to drive truck - driving school or find someone to give lessons in exchange for money/odd jobs/whatever
>easily distracted/short attention span - ok this one might be tougher. work on your attention span. this will help you no matter what you do actually. run down the possible causes and try to fix them. do attention exercises, just google them. be patient, it can take a while to git gud. learning to drive will help your attention span a lot.
then do that for other jobs on the list. get someone to help you if you have trouble coming up with solutions to the obstacles. even if it's just random people online like here. this will help you figure out which jobs are the least hassle to get ready for, and then you choose from those and apply to some. if you don't like them, you can always quit and try something else.
I almost didn't suggest this because I know it's what I should do, and I haven't been taking my own advice. but it it's the best thing I can come up with.
if you don't do anything else, at least get your driver's license. even if you have to save for a shitty beater car (as long as it's not unreliable). once you have that, a lot more possibilities will open up.