What are you supposed to do when you have the desperate urge to hoe but can't stomach the thought of actually going through with sex?
I want to be looked at and touched and have someone be affectionate and pay attention to me but I don't want to touch the dick.
First, you make a bunch of dirty cl/whisper/pof messages, get something going. Then you go over to his house, start getting what you want, then right when he thinks its in the bag you change your mind and say no. So then you get raped, go home and cry alot, try to decide whether to do the whole hospital rape kit thing but then you're probably going to have to tell people about it, either way its a rough time. Next, spend a few months being angry and bitter and hating men. Rinse and repeat!
You do have alternative to touching dick you don't want to touch, but they're...alternative
1) go find some ravers/ e-tards
These people are super empathetic and genuinely sweet (if a little spacey and weird) and will genuinely enjoy cuddling and making out with no dick-touching whatsoever
2) find ze gays. Hooking up with a girl involves no dick, and plenty of gay guys want chick cuddle buddies
3) Instead of ignoring whats happening, do stimulants, which have a fairly good chance of making you super horny and into the dick in a big way. The memory might make you cringe, but at the time you'll have a blast (and enjoy it too)
Dear lord, woman. Don't take drugs to tolerate sex. Don't combine pain killers with booze, you might kill yourself.
Maybe instead of fucking a random dude, find a guy you actually like and trust who will take it easy and not pressure you. I suspect you'll be a lot less scared of dick when you trust the man it's attached to. Younger me slept with a few women who said they were scared of dick, but they eased up once they knew I was a decent guy.
Or fuck women, that's another option. There's a reason so many young women start out gay as hell then mellow out to accept dudes later on. All the sex touching without any scary stuff.
I'd be gay if I could but I can't.
Dude if you could eat rocks instead of food would you ever waste money on food.
Okay. That probably means locating myself into a city that has a rave or a gay bar. Or drug dealers.
I don't have a problem with memories of sex. It's the act itself that's unspeakably unplesant.
You don't think back to yesterday's hangover nd cringe.
I'd be a massive hoe if I could enjoy sex. I'd probably never stop.
What kind of drugs are we talking about and how does one obtain them?
>find a guy you actually like
I do like guys. The same way I like dogs. It's the dicks and teeth and the enthusiasm to put them in me that's the problem.
Where would I find one, anyway?
I would if I could but I can't so I won't.
speed, meth, coke have a long history of making people hyper-sexual. The easiest and safest way to get stimulants is find a friend with ADD. Between you, me and this anonymous message board, most people will happily sleep with anything and everything on enough Ritalin, Dexedrine or Adderall.
honestly, if you were near me id happily give you some sexy cuddles while leaving the shuttle in the hanger...but I definitely wouldn't count on most guys being so unconcerned about getting off. My point is that they do exist, however..
Well, so do men who have a fetish for being taken advantage of financially, but the matter is that they're so rare that we might as well assume they don't exist.
Unless you can tell me where to find one.
>Where would I find one, anyway?
Finding good, trustworthy people that will respect your boundaries and nurture your personal growth is difficult, not gonna lie. I big part of maturing as a human is figuring out how to separate the trustworthy from the not, much to the annoyance of so many untrustworthy lonely young men on this board.
If you rush into fucking random guys while you're still scared of dick it will either be a traumatizing, overwhelming experience or else you'll be so zonked on drugs (if that's your dumb plan) you won't enjoy or possibly remember it. Stay home and masturbate while you work on finding guys you trust.
One way to find good guys is to expand your social circle and have friends recommend guys with good reputations. I've been introduced to many a lady this way.
I do not envy your position since men are inherently scary beasts, and though there are many good guys like me there and also lots of shitty ones. Trust your gut, don't let any guy close that seems off or has a bad rep. Good luck, I home you get fucked as hard as you want without being terrified by the experience.
You don't need to fake a thing. A solid half of the kids with ADD prescriptions sell their pills on a regular basis. You could try taking a bunch of ephedrine (which you can get at health food stores or pharmacies), but I don't think this would work nearly as well
I do have trustworthy people. All my friends are good, trustworthy people. Also, they're all female. And none of them have any male friends.
I can't masturbate.
The problem is, I'm not an american. I've seen how americans are, someone sneezes and you pop a pill.
I looked ephedrine up. It's a prescription substance around here, I'd have to wait for months to get a time at a doctor to bullshit him/her into giving me a prescription.
well if you're not in a major city finding anything is much more difficult. Still, the first step is always making your intentions abundantly clear, and meeting them somewhere safe, public and retreat-able from to talk (ie. coffee shop). If you're upfront about your dick-terror, the smart shitty guys will run away, and the dumb shitty guys you'll see right through. You can learn a shocking amount about someone by having a 30 min conversation with eye contact and listening to your gut.
Too bad you probably dont live in my country, i'd totally be down for some cuddling and stuff. I find it hard to believe there arent people like me around though. Maybe ask around on forums for guys with micropenises or who's also afraid of sex.
>a major city
For the sake of reference, assume the nearest city is 8 km away and has the population of 30 000.
Wait, so I'm supposed to meet guys from ONLINE? And then meet them in public?
What if I don't want close emotional bonds with people I'm scamming and taking advantage of?
Yes well you'll need to find *men* who are trustworthy, that was the point I was making. This is the fundamental personality attribute that will make your fucking experience positive or negative. If your culture is against men and women casually interacting and dating then I dunno what to tell you.
Why can't you masturbate? Were you born without arms? Touch yourself, it's fun.
If you're looking to get into financial domination you should seek out an older woman who has been successful at it in order to learn how to stay safe. It's easy money if you know what you're doing, though.
Prescription ephedrine? Where are you, the middle of the outback?!
That doesn't matter...what does matter is that you basically have two solutions here:
1) Decide to face your fears and just suck it up. Dick will get less scary every time, until one day you'll be craving it. Watching porn may help (or hurt)..in either case trade a bit of trauma to overcome a fear and get what you want nowtimes.
2) find a decent guy expending lots of effort, communication and time before you get what you want, possibly worth it and more in long run
Touching myself isn't fun, that's the matter. I have no positive experiences concerning my genitals.
My culture is against opposite sexes interacting roughly in the same way you're not allowed to pet wild animals. You can probably try but it's your fault if you lose an arm.
I'm not into financial domination. I just took it as an example of something too good to be true. I have my own money, and I'm not the kind of a person that enjoys wasting money for waste's sake.
The problem isn't that the dick is scary. This is not a phobia. The probelm is that it hurts.
Where do I find a decent guy?
meeting people online has the advantage of pre-screening them for the criteria you want...you can meet them wherever works I suppose, although your chances of meeting someone in a bar that's willing to go home for a cuddle are slim to none
wait, we're scamming people now? I mean, if this is a strait up con job you don't need to go through any of this trouble, just lead a guy on, do the foreplay and then bolt for the door right before the sex. Its risky, but I suppose cons always are..
You have 2 options:
a)try and live in this world, either find your perfect male (good luck with that shit)
b)wait ~10 years till VR becomes advanced enough for you to live out your "no dick please giv me attention" fantasy
ooor you can also troll some virgins, lead them on, deny sex and than tell them they have a small penix
>Get a boyfriend?
If I could do that would I be having this problem?
I joined tinder once and got literally no matches.
Of course it's a con. Relationships are all about taking advantage of one-another.
men buy sex with love and women buy love with sex, and if you're getting something for nothing, somebody is getting conned.
Also, leading a guy on up to the point where you're already at his house, you're gonna get raped. Men don't like not getting what they thought they were gonna get.
And seriously?! I always thought Finland was pretty liberal when it came to the drug and sex stuff, but I'm probably thinking of your nordic cousins with all the furniture and anchovies and so on
I'm not sure if you're talking physical or emotional pain, but any decent guy won't want to inflict either one on you. If you can't find one through friends or hobbies I would try okcupid, the nice thing about that site is that you answer questions and it matches you based on that, you can get some pretty technical details about people and their personalities on there before you message them. I find it attracts a larger percentage of decent people than many dating sites, but its always a mixed bag
>If I could do that would I be having this problem?
If you have a vag it is not that hard if you lower your standards.
If you are male then yes I will admit things are harder for you, and it is probably also harder to be a successful stripper too unless your body is great.
Finland is pretty liberal when it comes to dealing with all your problems alone in a dark place.
I mean physical pain. I have no emotions about sex and if I could physically endure it I would have no trouble doling it out to virtually anyone.
All my friends are girls who exclusively hang out with girls. My hobbies are isolatory and OkCupid gave me the exact same options as the local bar.
You know, I've seriously thought of being a male "prostitute" for this reason...like trading money for listening to women's stories, back-rubs, general adoration etc. I think I'm well suited for it and it would be pretty lucrative and mutually beneficial if I could market it effectively
>if you lower your standards
I've tried that. Apparently dating a guy you don't like is no more satisfactory than dating girls, and it just hurts everyone's feelings in the long run.
Wow, that paints a grim portrait..I've only met one girl from Finland, but all this explains a whole lot I didn't understand at the time.
I could spin options involving progressively larger dildos or oral sex..but something tells me that if these were viable options for you a smart cookie such as yourself would have already thought of them.
I guess what I would do in your situation is travel. Backpacking is rewarding and fun in its own right, and the hippies who frequent youth hostels tend to be on the gentle and open-minding side of things...if nothing else this would prevent you from ever having to see them again if things didn't turn out the way you or they hoped they would..
>The problem isn't that the dick is scary. This is not a phobia. The probelm is that it hurts.
Are you speaking from experience, or are you afraid that it could hurt?
In the former case, you should see a gynecologist. The first time often does hurt (though not always), but if pain continues after that then there's a medical problem. This can be treated.
If it's the latter, then I'm not sure what to tell you. As I said above, the first time usually hurts, though there are procedures like hymenotomy that can reduce that. But procedures or not, it isn't supposed to keep hurting.
I am capable of getting a decent-sized dildo in, but it takes a long time and a guy won't have patience for that. I know how it'd go. He figures that since he can get the tip in, he can just jam the whole thing in there, and then call me crazy and irrational for flipping my shit about it.
I can't travel, I should be looking for a job.
That's completely unreasonable. You should both be making sure you're wet enough, and I usually like the girl to be on top at first..not only is that unambiguously consensual, but that way she can ease herself onto it at her own pace
ugh, same. I miss traveling so much, can't wait to take another trip, need money first though
Penetration hurts when you're not aroused, and I can't get wet around other people.
I've found that being on top is the only way to get it in, to slowly sit on it gradually so you have time to get used to the pain.
Are you sure its being done right? Different girls like different levels of clitoral contact (from only tracing around it, to pushing it around quite hard) and it can be quite painful if your clit is more sensitive that the technique they're using calls for.
If that was enough, I would do absolutely do that. Unfortunately sexual orientation is a thing and I can't just get my fix from the easiest possible place.
For the same reason you don't find some easy twink on grindr whenever you're horny. You'll still want a woman, no matter how bad your need is.