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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
Why do you have to be so fucking difficult when it comes to telling the truth? A female friend of mine slowly started talking to me less and less this past week. We would flirt and stuff a lot but when she started being closed off I thought I fucked up or something and was really worried. Comes to find out, she said that she just "needs to balance herself out" and doesn't want to flirt/sex or whatever with guys for a while because she's trying to figure things out. Literally I understand and I respect her wishes. That's All she had to say. And I'm not butthurt over that. Yet I was really worried when she was being closed off from me this past week
Why not just be honest??
>she said that she just "needs to balance herself out" and doesn't want to flirt/sex or whatever with guys for a while because she's trying to figure things out
Because if she talked to you she wouldn't have been doing that?
I realize being interesting and confident are turn-ons and being dull and gutless are not...but what about being outgoing vs quiet?
I don't tend to talk much unless someone else starts the conversation and even then I can be a little slow to get chatty...once I do, I can talk to people no problem though. I'm just...well, quiet. I used to think that was the same as being boring but several friends have told me that's not the case, it's just harder for people to get to know me because I'm quiet.
So I guess my question is, do I NEED to be outgoing to get the ball rolling or is it merely helpful? Do girls mind if a guy is quiet as long as he can open up and be interesting after the initial meeting?
Maybe drink a little to relax?
>be vacationing in Venice, Italy with friend over New Years
>our Hostel has New Years party
>me and friend get a few beers
>friend sees 9.5/10 Canadian QT, his pursuit for the night
>she drinks with us
>I drank quiet a bit but still alert
>all of us just joking and laughing
>notice the Canadian smiling at me a lot
>I don't make any advances cause my friend saw her first
>toward the end of the night I see my friend lean into her ear and say something about going for a walk
>she giggled (I swear this happened) and she pointed at me and said "nah, haha, but I'd like to go with him"
>I spaghettied hard because did NOT expect that (I'm like a 5.5/10)
>she gets up and walks to her dorm
>but me being a good friend, I stayed with my friend because he was pissed because he wanted to fuck her all night and she just shut him down from me.
>fuck my life. That was a once in a lifetime chance
Moral of the story, alcohol opens you up. That would have never happened if I was sober
I dunno, I've been out drinking with friends and it doesn't make me less quiet. Just makes me slur a little when I do start talking. I don't have confidence issues or anything. I'm a relaxed person and don't really stress over much. I'm just quiet.
The only thing that REALLY makes me more vocal without provocation is getting exhausted. Drinking won't do it but running on a few hours of sleep and hanging out after a 12 hour shift turns me into a chatterbox. Then I usually end up trying to run through the nights conversation in my head the next day and figure out what all I said. Which I imagine is what it's like for most people when it comes to drinking and loosening up.
Perhaps it could be a mental wavelength thing? Something I've just started learning this past year is if you can find someone on the same mental wavelength as you, it's easy to communicate.
Like with the Canadian QT, I just made jokes about her being a Maple Leaf all night. But perhaps we were just on the same mental wavelength so she likes my humor and on a mental level we clicked. That might have been my only saving grace that the possibility of me sexing her even existed.
Well I don't have trouble talking to people, once we start. I just tend to rely on others initiating conversation. Once they do, I have no problem continuing it. I feel this may be a turn-off to some girls though, especially when we live in a culture where generally speaking guys are expected to take the lead in relationships.
Guy here, but to be fair.. Most guys (excluding me because I don't have sex) are just as bad. If you think about it. "Most" guys will fuck any girl they can and any chance they get. If a girl is that way too, it's technically the same.
Ok I understand that. Well, generally I feel the same way. Like I can't just approach someone in a grocery store and strike up a conversation. That would never happen. But when I was in the Hostel. It was so easy to just talk to people. Because everything has a common trait-we were all travelers. So there you could feel fine with just sitting down and say "hey where are you from?" In the case of the Canadian, we could tell from her accent so I opened with "eh Canada, I need my Hat back" and she just laughed a lot. It was funny
Height. Pale skin. Thick hair. Big nose. Light eyes. A nice smile. Facial symmetry. Stubble. Broad shoulders with prominent collarbones. A overall thin body, with low-medium amount of muscles.
Answer honestly, is Respect a attractive trait? It seems like a lot of guys are really douchy and are forward a lot. I'm talking with a girl and we are just talking hugs. And she showed me this gif and I said "I wish I would have done that when we were in Verona" and she said "hahah but you didn't ;)" and I said "haha well yes, I didn't because I Respect you a lot, and since it was our first time meeting I didn't want to be too forward and make you uncomfortable". And she sent me " :) " 50x
Why does everyone say girls only like assholes? I would think since there are more assholes than respectful guys, that the respectful guys would win
Ladies: is there a market for cold men?
I'm not particularly ugly or unfriendly, I can hold a conversation and I like to think I'm marginally interesting, but on a pure romantic level I'm not a passionate guy. I don't really care for kissing, cuddling, sex or romantic talk. The people I've dated have told me it's pretty strange, but I can't really get myself to respond to any of it unless the other person tries really hard (which I don't feel right making them do.)
Girls greatly prefer men who break out of the crowd and take charge, doing what they want and being confident while they do so. If you're confident about being a fedora-tipper and have clear convictions to do so, regardless of criticism, then that can be twisted into seeming desirable. But otherwise you just seem like a sniveling, pandering wimp who doesn't possess enough masculinity to entrance her, instead choosing to plead to her through your subservient activity. You know, the textbook definition of a beta.
In simpler words, women will respond more to a confident jerk than a less confident polite man. This is true across every culture so I suggest you figure out how to be confident.
Somewhat halfway. I like respectful guys, but some forwardness is required. Depends on how much I know the guy.
If I feel comfortable around someone, and he avoids physical contact at all, it makes me think that he doesn't like me and feel awkward and bad about myself. If the guy is a complete stranger, of course I'd prefer him to be more respectful and take things slowly.
Those girls you've dated. Have you actually like been into them? Like did you get all warm inside just being around them or talking to them?
I ask because I literally was like you. I never liked sex, or any form of physical contact. But I met this one girl who changed that. I feel soooo warm when I see her text messages pop up on my phone, I even boner 60% of the time I see her texts (seriously, normal texts.). All I want is to be as physically close to this girl as possible. Which is a complete flip from how I felt before I met her
Any gender, I guess
Had a girl message me a few days after rejecting me apologizing and asking to be friends. Why?
It just seems so immature... if you reject someone, why try and have them be a part of your life in any capacity?
As a naturally quiet woman (with occasional extroverted moments) I can honestly say I'm really into a man who is like this himself, and it's so difficult to get past the touch barrier without an awkward conversation about feelings, even though we both know they're there. Personally, I have no problem with a man who is quiet. I'm looking for someone who is loving and kind, gentle and also protecting. Thoughtful and interesting, he's not boring at all
I'd given up romantically on this close friend after she seemed to have turned me down. Not directly, but I felt I had to take the hint. But then a mutual friend came into the picture. He told me about an activity X that she was pretty eager about and suggested I ask her out to it.
>she shot me down already
>just give it a try, man
Shortly after, the girl told me she's bad with taking romantic hints until long after the moment passes.
So now I'm thinking "fine" and wonder how to put it. I know it doesn't matter how, but should I pretend that the idea's all mine and leave out that a little birdie told me? Or should I be honest and say I heard she wanted to do X and offer to go together? Or joke around and guess that X would be just the thing for her?
How long should I keep hoping a girl will reply to my text before I should move on with my life? I met her yesterday, got her facebook, sent a message this morning and I haven't heard back all day. The screen says that it's been delivered, but not read.
I know it's been less than a day and that people have their own lives to run, but there was something about her and it's driving me crazy.
there's this girl that acts pretty normal to everyone but to me when says hi or anything she always says my name i only meet her like 2 weeks in my new job
Girl friend is obsessed with the colour pink. We're going out as more than friends on Valentine's Day. Is it a bad idea to give her a pink rose instead of a red one? Are they interchangable?
Maybe she wants to continue talking to you and hanging out and being friends?
I only cut contact with guys who ask me out because I either wasn't friends with him before anyway, or if I don't think he'd be able to emotionally handle being friends with a crush.
Guess you're the latter.
Women, does it seem immature or silly to have one half of your bed cluttered with stuff? Basically, there is a chance that I'll come home with a girl this weekend, should I clean that up? It's an amp/speaker cabinet, laptop, a bunch of cables, etc. The speaker cabinet is really freaking heavy so lifting it up and off the bed once or twice a week because there is a chance of someone coming over is a pain in the ass.
Guys pls respond.
I like a guy from work and I know he has a gf, we sometimes walk together to the train, today his gf (I know is his gf because I saw his fb) was waiting for him and walked just halfway through, when he told me she was an old friend.
Why didn't he tell me she was his gf?
Was he jus being nice because he suspects that I like him?
Or am I reading for much into it?
He may be trying to get into your pants (which is what you hope, since you wouldn't have phrased your question this way otherwise), or he may have broken up with her the evening earlier, or he just didn't think of any particular thing that moment and said she's a friend, without any special intentions. We can't know and should you ask him, he probably won't answer truthfully. Stop overnalyzing it and leave him the fuck alone if he's in a relationship.
I'm known as the nice goofy guy that many girls think is sweet, but i'm getting 0 pussy because of this. How do I change so girls won't notice me like that anymore? I've been refraining from talking so much and being more reserved.
On the physical side: I've already started working out (many girls i've already started to notice too), plan on switching to contacts from glasses and even though I get compliments from women on how I dress, upgrading my wardrobe considerably.
I'm usually a pretty stony-faced guy, but when I'm walking in public and see a cute girl coming the other way, I naturally make eye contact and smile at her. They pretty much always ignore me.
Am I creeping them out?
Ugh, that's kind of what I'm afraid of.
Women usually tell me I'm cute and seem to have no problem talking to me in normal situations, it's only this case where it's weird like that. Maybe I have a stupid expression when I do it or something.
tl;dr: I just got a shave and haircut. reaction is positive, but maybe it's too short? Meeting a woman on Saturday.
>mother died a little over a year ago
>tradition after a parent's death is to not cut hair until friends tell you you must
>I waited a little longer
>several people I know have reacted with good natured laughter, tell me I look 10 years younger/like a kid
>meeting a woman around my age (30ish)who has only seen me with long hair
>now I'm nervous I'll look fucking weird
Am I already boned? I don't think she's shallow, I'm no looker in any light, but fuck.
>getting 0 pussy because of this
>change to get girls to notice me
Are you asking them on dates, or just hoping they will notice you because you are too afraid to take a risk?
If asking: don't change, keep asking, you'll find someone
If not asking: start fucking asking
...then why did you ask in the first place? Here's what went down
>you: I like my boyfriend's sweet smelling semen is that weird?
>you: it's not weird it just smells sweet
People like sweet smells. There is no mystery here. You think it smells nice.
I'm not starting my own thread and just going to leave this here.
Anyone, 18 senior fag here. I sit next to this qt3.14 sophomore who is really enjoyable to be around and I've become friends with in the past 2-3 months .
I would totally date her, but she's two years younger than I am... and it's highschool... and yeah. Anyone, that's not my issue
Whenever I talk to her in a normal setting, like lunch or band, she seems completely fine. But whenever I see her in the hallways and just give a casual "hey" and head nod like I would with any guy friend, she seems really... distant. She might awkwardly say "hey!" but not in the blushing crush awkward way. I can't really explain it other than it feels "distant".
What gives? Why does she act so different?
I met this girl in my college class, it started off by just asking for help and school stuff. I end up talking to her and get her number. I've been talking to her since November and I really like her. I messed up about a month into talking to her and told her I liked her, but luckily it didn't get awkward. So I really like this girl and we still talk sometimes just not as much, we used to talk everyday up until after Christmas. I feel like she likes me but I'm not sure I mean she's a super nice person so I don't know if she's just being nice. She's dropped a few hints I guess like telling me how she'll force me to go to prom if I don't go, or giving hints to walk her to class (I do), or inviting me to her youth group at church. I need some advice, do you think she likes me or is just trying to be friends. Thanks.
For girls who mainly date guys who are older than them (so the majority of you):
How much maturity do you expect from an older guy? So far every woman I've dated were the same age or older, so I don't think they expected much from me. I'm willing to bet some of them even had the "boys will be boys' mentality.
I've never dated a woman younger than me before, so I'm not sure if you ladies have any expectations from an older partner.
She might enjoy your company as a friend, but she's ashamed to acknowledge your existence around her cool/popular friends.
Imagine if you invited your friends over to your house to play video games, but your mom walks in and starts talking about how she found streak marks on your tighty whities in the laundry.
You = The mom
Her = The kid
Friend(s) = Her friends
At first, I expected more, but I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 27. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 22. He's on about the same plane as I am by now, I think.
We were both pretty immature at the ages we met. Then just kinda grew together. I was expecting him to be more mature at first, but then I kinda realized that he wasn't much more different than I was.
The only thing that I find immature about him is that I pay his bills for him because he doesn't know how to make the payment and his lack of basic computer "common sense" for people in our age group.
I find either older guys are mature because they're older, or immature because they want younger women.
Young women who want older men are the same way. What she wants depends on which she is.
how long do the effects of periods last typically while using birth control?
i've been fwb with this girl for awhile now, and she's been saying that her period is probably gonna start this saturday/sunday and can last for a week but i always thought they were just a day or two
Girls, but anyone feel free:
I'm meeting someone for a third...not a date. We're not dating. Whatever.
I work at an agricultural school. Some vegetables just got harvested. I was going to give some to friends, but would it be weird to give some to this girl? I know she enjoys cooking, and she already knows where I work.
Nah, there's no problem, as long as the arrangement & situation aren't awkward.
If you pull out a fucking basket of them at a fancy restaurant, that's going to look autistic.
Variety also helps. If you give her a single zucchini, cucumber, or Japanese eggplant, she's gonna get the wrong idea about you.
At 5'3 I'm a very short guy, but to combat this to the best of my ability I'm in pretty great shape. My personality is probably a bit timid but I'd like to think myself somewhat humble and rating your own personality is kind of subjective and a self appraisal will probably be off.
Either way, I've got a good deal of money and a decent weenr. The big question is - Is my height really that big of a deal?
I mean, I've dated women all across the physical spectrum - except for seriously overweight - but it's about that time for me to try to find someone a little more special than a few dates and hooking up every once in a while
>tl;dr is my height a big deal? What can I do to overcome it if it is?
I try to wear a watch all the time, as often as I can really
Is wearing a nice watch seen as pretentious?
what is the best way to clean your fingernails? For those of you who work in jobs that make your hands rough, what do you do? I keep mine short but being a helicopter mechanic and flying around all the time in them make my fingernails disgusting by the end of the day. I'm tired of this shit!
going to be meeting a girl to go to museum, as friends I think. Met her online, told me she has a bf and they are poly. I have not expressed any intentional romantic interest. It would just be me and her going to museum. What sort of behavior should I avoid?
Former mechanic here.
This is what I do if I want my hands to be REALLY clean:
>trim nails if they're long enough
>wash hands with Gojo or some other pumice-based stone (the grittier the better)
>rub really dirty areas on one hand with the other in a circular motion
>rinse off the dirt & soap
>if there's still anything stuck under the nails, I use a nail brush to get rid of it
>if there's still stuff under there, I take a toothpick and carefully scrape off the dirt
I guess I don't want her to think I'm hitting on her/trying to fuck her?
I'm not the best with women, haven't dated or gotten laid in two years. Just trying to start getting friends since I just moved here.
It really, really depends on the watch. I'll personally think you're awesome with an IWC or even a nice Seiko on. If you have a flashy gold Rolex, I'll think you're trying too hard. (But if said Rolex is a Sub on a nice NATO, then it's bro-tier.)
I'm a former mechanic too, and never really found a good way of keeping the nails totally clean. I wear gloves whenever I can, keep them trimmed short, and use Fast Orange and a nail brush, but it never does enough. I never bothered trying TOO hard, since they'd just get dirty again the next day anyway.
I posted in the other "should I get surgery to get taller" thread.
I don't think height is a big deal if you are interested in dating reasonable women who aren't shallow (i.e. "if I'm taller than him in heels he's too short!"). You sound like someone with a reasonable personality, that's all that matters.
It's important not to come across as overcompensating, however. Don't be sensitive about your height, make jokes about it, but don't be self deprecating.
I don't want to say "it's all about attitude", but you can compensate for people's first impression of you with confidence. After that if they judge you by height they are just an asshole.
>Is wearing a nice watch seen as pretentious?
No. Trying to draw attention to it and humble bragging about it is.
>what is the best way to clean your fingernails?
I bite my nails. Can't get them dirty if you don't have any.
my coworkers are getting really, really friendly
one of them came and leaned on my shoulder today for like a minute. with her whole body touching me
as a total social autist, i sat there quiet like i didn't notice it. um what should be my next move
I'm being real with you here when I say this, but DON'T make a move.
Girls act like that around people they feel comfortable around, but feel no need to impress. This is partly the reason why gay men have so many female friends.
If a girl is actually interested in a guy, it's very rare for her to make a move.
>relationship before current was 8 years ago
>I broke up with her after months of sexual abuse
>I have cut and burn scars on my back, chest, hands
>she would slice me up if I didn't fuck her at a moment's notice, sometimes until my dick is raw and burning
>haven't talked or seen ex-gf since we broke up
>out of the blue she finds my phone number and begins harassing me
>sends me racy photos unsolicited and stalks me on Facebook
>girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her
My girlfriend doesn't know the context to this. I'm scared of telling her (or anyone else) about my sexual abuse.
How do I solve this?
>ask girl out
>she said no
Is there any reason she might change her mind?
Might want to get the police in on this, really. It'll help if you have evidence of the sexual abuse that isn't your scars, especially since judging from what you say about her she'll try and lie about the old relationship when the police get involved.
The pill has a full week dedicated to the period. My period is considered very short for being typically two days. A couple years ago, more typical was 3-5 days for me. Plenty of girls have a full week of period.
Why are you convinced she lying?
Red flags are not deal breakers. I would watch you to see if you have obvious flaws that explain why you were single.
But there are plenty of benign reasons people are single. Don't shoot yourself in the foot and hate yourself for something like this.
Maybe she's rushed, maybe she's distracted, who cares.
>Someone does something insignificantly, what does it mean?
Also check your age of consent laws. Yes you're both in high school, but if you don't have a romeo/juliet clause or a younger AoC, you could be dealing with jailbait here.
I'm surprised you haven't told your girlfriend about your ex before.
1. Your story sounds awful, and would've been an easy way to score sympathy points early into the relationship. Also, it serves as an example of what NOT to do as a girlfriend.
2. You clearly know your ex is crazy, it certainly wouldn't have hurt to have a contingency plan. I would've told my girlfriend for HER safety, not mine. A common target of crazy exes is often the currents.
I mostly agree with this post.
No, you can't change a girl's mind, and it would be best to forget about her.
The only part I disagree with is reconsidering her in the future if she asks. Most girls who ask out a guy they've previously rejected often do so because they've been hurt by all the other guys they've dated, and are trying to cling on to the one who got away. May or may not have kids and/or emotional baggage.
I haven't told her because I'm nervous it'd have scared her away. "He must have baggage" or "he must be mentally unstable" are sentiments I fear when neither are true. Additionally, sympathy is what I wanted least: I want someone to like me for who I am.
If it continues, I'm going to have to.
Got a similar question: How about a 17-year old guy dating a 24-year old girl?
For some strange reason, my friend's sister-in-law tried to hook me up with one of her friends when I was that age. I ended up declining because she was ugly and a little bit stupid.
I feel for you man. I'm in a similar situation, covered in mental and physical scars, had to move away from my hometown to get away from her abuse. The worst part is, I would rather die than tell anyone because even IF they believed me it would just make me look pathetic according to society's sexist stereotyping
LOL you do NOT understand the situation at all. Both police and lawyers have told me that it is basically impossible to get assault charges filed if you're a male victim of a female perp. And I have solid physical evidence: permanent scars, concussions, stitches etc...
And guys don't get sympathy for this sort of thing. Whenever I tell people they act like I'm trying to make some weird political point, or I'm a misogynist or a troublesome whiner with too much baggage.
pic related, mfw
it doesn't bother but it confused me because i didn't know what to do
That's an excellent question that I would very much like an answer to as well, since I am in a similar situation. Confidential therapy, and if you have a lot of evidence that she is harassing you a restraining order might eventually be a possibility, but it would most certainly be a little late for his current relationship. For the gf thing, it is reasonable to tell her your ex is a psycho, and just be totally honest with her, the truth is definitely the best policy in this case. BUT definitely downplay how fucked up you are over the abuse and don't expect any sympathy unless she is an extremely different sort of person.
If that was really the case you wouldn't be complaining here how it's practically impossible to get assault charges filed on her with the amount of evidence you have just because she's a woman.
My girlfriend works, goes to school, and goes to the gym after class. We go on hikes a lot during the day too.
The problem is when we finally get home and get in bed together, she's too tired to have sex. She is always in the mood, but never has enough energy to stay awake for sex.
Today we were going to have sex. I know how to get her turned on, I usually just watch a show with her and give her a back massage. She did a leg workout today so I gave her a leg massage too, and massaged her ass for fifteen minutes.
She was getting really wet while I massaged her ass, but started to fall asleep because she was so drained and relaxed.
This is usually the case. I have no trouble getting her turned on, but when we get into bed she gets really tired really fast. What can I do?
In Canada, the USA, and Northern/Western Europe it is virtually impossible for a woman to get charged for assault against her male partner. My lawyer tells me he knows of cases where a wife stabs her husband with a knife, he grabs her arm to prevent her from killing him and HE gets an assault charge for restraining her. Not sure if you're misinformed or just willfully blind, but I'm not making this shit up.
ahh you're right. Getting too excited lately, need to just let her come to me. One sided sex is mediocre sex.
definitely making more progress. Lot more kissing lately, and she puts my hand on her breasts when I hold her. I know if I'm patient her drive will come back around and we'll be back to sex almost everyday again.
>>Where do I meet girls/guys?
>Anywhere outside. Or online.
Why is this not an acceptable question? Am I supposed to just know when it's okay to talk to someone I've never met? Everyone is either busy, talking with people or on their phone.
Honestly it seems like the only way I'll ever meet a woman is if I find a way to get a well playing job and buy expensive shit to show I have a bunch of money.
A girl ive been dating for a few weeks told me she used to be in a master slave relationship. I was kinda shocked i asked her why she wouldnt tell me. I asked if she was the master or slave she wouldnt tell me. She said she just wanted me to know and that she dosent want to talk about it anymore. Whatever go on with the date. Should i dump her this seems like a huge red flag. Also im not going to just do what you say but ill consider it. She seems like a nice enough girl though a little strange. Im worried she is keeping worse stuff from me though.
that's not a very big deal imo, BDSM is wayy more common than most people think and its actually a lot safer and more respectful than it sounds. Its also a tacit rule that you're not supposed to talk about it or out others in the community. Consider yourself lucky she shared this with you, and chances are she's got some freak to her that you might just really like. Don't make assumptions, pry or prematurely fuck it up without a legit reason.
How do I get out of the friendzone? Went on a date, clearly in the friendzone, how do I get out? I'm not crazy about her desu, but we do click, have a lot of similar interests, etc. She'd be fun to date honestly but she's made it clear she doesn't see me that way. Could it be as simple as losing weight? I'm 240 right now at 6'1 so a nice chunk of fat on me, could losing weight and being "attractive" make a difference?
Don't know you might feel about this but you could try getting one of those spy camera pen things and bugging yourself while she gets abusive with you. Record that shit and she's caught red handed. Obviously you stand a high risk of getting hurt again in the process but that's the best I can come up with.
How does a girl see friends when she's in a relationship. How do you deal with new people you meet?
Also, when you're in a club, or some public place with your bf and look around, do you make eye contacts and check other guys? What do you think/see when you see other good looking guys? (Be honest please).
Take it from me, she sees you as a friend. Go into it thinking it's a date, treat it like a date, but don't go into it with high expectations. Keep it measured. You'll soon see she doesn't see you that way.
I have a history of getting friendzoned. I want to avoid it, and if possible, reverse it so that if it happens again to someone I actually really do like I can reverse that shit. She's good practice, not a lot to lose by trying and a lot to gain, either directly or indirectly.
meeting with a girl from tinder for a drink tomorrow night and the only part I'm stressing about is the first 10 seconds. shaking hands seems too stuffy and hugging seems too juvenile - honestly how do I go about this without making it weird
There's obvious hints when a girl likes you. Like the shy eye contact, wants to maintain contact/questions you stuff. And tries to get your fb/we. It's a bit different from just plain nice, observe around; try to look at a handsome guy and see how girls come to him, and spot the difference
That actually reminds me of a question I've been wanting to ask. Girls who use facebook regularly, if you met a guy and things seemed to start off well and you asked for his facebook and found out he doesn't have one, would that be a red-flag for you or would you not care in the least?
I've never done facebook but as I've started making more friends and getting more social lately, I've started thinking about it. Several of them say I should, especially as they help me try to find a girl. But I don't know, it's just something that's never interested me.
There's lots of different types of hugs.
A quick three second hug where you smile and give a playful lift is good.
A powerful bear hug where you pick up the girl a foot off the ground and swing her around is too forward.
>Say Hey how are you?
>Go in for hug
>put arms firmly around girl
>Pull her towards your chest upwards and slightly back so her feet move up
>Immediately put girl back down and say "nice to meet you" with a smile and eye contact.
>after hug, enter casual mode and ask her where she wants to sit, what she wants to drink, etc. Then commence conversation and flirting.
Wat. You'd be fucking lucky of your period is naturally only one day or two. Mine is always 7 days.
But all of that is null in this situation, as the other anon said, most birth control pills dedicate a full week to inducing a sort of 'fake' period.
Stopped talking to a girl a long time ago.aybe a year? But we went on lime 4 or 5 dates she invited me over for basically sex. I declined and started dating my girlfriend. Is it wrong to text this girl?
You haven't provided context. Do you intend to cheat on your current gf? Yes it's wrong.
Are you single and looking for casual sex? Fire away.
Want a new gf? I doubt she's worth the trouble.
Ladies or gents:
Taking a girl out tomorrow, but we haven't talked about where to eat.
Give her a few options from places I like?
Ask what she'd like to eat?
Offer her one place I think she'd like?
What do you guys prefer?
Just enjoy my boyfriend. But I'm particularly lucky because he's handsome as heck and he's my literal 10/10. But I have fantasized about other people while sleeping with them. Particularly if they were boring, bad, or otherwise un-fun. Mostly did it so I didn't have to stop them and bruise their ego.
"Yo dog ur just boring as shit" probably wouldn't go over well mid sex.
I like to surprise people. I grew up with my moms boyfriend who was particularly adventurous with food. We tried different cuisine on the regular, so I love to take people places they've probably never been. Trying new things with someone is always an exciting experience. Recently took my boyfriend to try Indian food for the first time, and he absolutely loved it. (We live in the Midwest, he hasn't tried much of anything super interesting, while I grew up in California and had "different" cuisine every other day lol. )
Guys... how does this scenario end up happening
>have a club for female gamers at junior college
>girl regularly comes in who is very... curvy you could say, shes beautiful in her own right but not traditionally beautiful.
>just sits there and plays Doom during meetings and discussions, doesn't add to anything.
>one day see her being dropped off
>assume its her brother, hes 10/10.
>he gets out of the truck and hugs her and kisses her on the lips.
>pats her on the butt when shes walking away.
>thats not her brother at all.
Is fat acceptance finally working? like are guys more and more looking past what was once perceived as flaws and seeing a woman's inner beauty rather than dwelling on the outside?
Not a guy but
>Is fat acceptance finally working?
Maybe. Who knows? What does that have to do with this girl?
>like are guys more and more looking past what was once perceived as flaws and seeing a woman's inner beauty rather than dwelling on the outside?
Guys generally don't care as much about a woman's appearance as you think they do, at least not when it comes to relationships, as opposed to random fucking. A good personality goes a long way.
over-reading the situation
holding on too tight will make things toxic
this is spam
chubby chasers are a thing. fat people are polarizing: to some, it's a fetish, for others, it's a complete turnoff. it's in a similar manner to the women that find fat guys attractive
I don't understand why you're confused by this? Everyone has a different type. Some guys like thicker girls, some guys like thinner girls. Nothing wrong with it. It's their relationship, so I don't really understand why you're concerned with it.
People have been dating who they're attracted to for a long time, regardless of the fat acceptance movement.
Well... I don't know how to put this nicely, as curvy might not have been the best way to describe her. I just don't know a nice way of putting obese.
As for personality, she seems nice... she doesn't talk much though, and if we ask her something during discussion she'll either appologize and say she wasn't paying attention, or she doesn't have an opinion on the matter.
They are an adorable couple, its just something you don't see every day, he was a very attractive man with a very nice truck, he had almost this frat boy look to him, and in all my experience men who tended to look like him, tended to be quite shallow. I guess a bit of faith in humanity restored?
I'm not concerned, I want to know if this is becoming the norm and I have just been missing it. I will be perfectly honest, I have been very cautious about dating, the stories I've heard, the things people talk about online, dating seems like a horrifying battlefield. Shes the only one in the club with a boyfriend, and I don't know how to ask her about him without being offensive or nosy.
>Well... I don't know how to put this nicely, as curvy might not have been the best way to describe her. I just don't know a nice way of putting obese.
Yeah, and obese people can get partners too. The biggest girl I know dates semi-professional sports players, because she's confident and fun to be around.
And just because you don't know her well, doesn't mean others don't.
Honestly, you're giving the vibe that you're bitter because a girl you think is 'worse' than you has a good looking boyfriend and you're alone, because how in the world could anyone be attracted to HER, right?
I am not bitter, thats not what I am getting at, I am just asking if it is becoming more acceptable, are men finally waking up and realizing theres more to women than just their looks and their bodies.
I was thinking about this the other day, and literally every girl i've ever had a crush on was due to their physical attractiveness. my brain wants to rationalize that i'm attracted to both her looks and her cool personality, but then I imagined what is crush girls personality was swapped with frumpy chick over there and It dawned on me that I still wouldn't have the slightest interest in frumpy girl and her "awesome personality"
what made me feel worse was realizing even if cute girl was kind of a bitch I'd still try to ask her out
looks are pretty much everything from my very scientific study
it's the most important thing among many
having a good personality is just icing on the cupcake, and to be honest you have to be damn near autistic/ a complete asshole to have a bad personality
So there's this girl I like, and she works as a receptionist at my dorm. She's a senior and I'm a sophomore. I see her every now and again, and we've talked a couple times, and I really wanna ask her out. The only thing is, I've heard that girls hate getting asked out at work, and that's reasonable. I mean, part of her job is being nice to people so I have no idea if she's even slightly flirting with me because she seems like a really quiet girl. A friend who sort of knows her but doesn't really know her says he thinks she has a bf anyway but I've had some long conversations with this girl about her plans for Christmas break, what she's doing after graduation, what's going on in her life in general and she's never mentioned a bf. So I guess I'm just wondering if you're a straight girl or a gay guy, would you feel weird about a guy asking you out at work? Is that inappropriate? Also is ice cream/frozen yogurt in the cold winter a bad idea? Because everyone says coffee but I pretty much hate coffee.
Maybe for you. For me personality far outweighs looks when it comes to relationships. It doesn't matter how good they look if they can't hold a conversation. That relationship is going to be awful.
For casual sex looks are by far the most important factor.
I'd be impressed if you did that and I'd be ok with using condoms/dental dams during oral. That's only on the stage where we haven't gotten tested yet though. If you insist on using them after knowing both of us are clean it'd just be weird. But STDs are one of my biggest fears and I know that most guys would find it weird.
Yes of course, if/when we get to the stage where we've both been tested and are each others only sexual partner I don't plan to use them anymore (but for penetrative sex we still will). I'm a virgin and didn't get HIV through birth or anything so that means I'm most likely clean, not sure about him though as he's 6 years older and probably has done it a few times
I understand using condoms for sex even after knowing they're clean.
And don't worry too much how they will react. If they throw a scene because of it it's a great indicator that they aren't worth it.
Every fight I have with my girlfriend (it seems as though they're becoming more common now) I feel an overwhelming urge inside myself to break up with her.
Should I listen to my gut? We both like each other a lot, the relationship is filled with passion but as a result it's also very fiery too. Nothing too nasty we just seem to clash fairly often. She's also been living with me for a few months which complicates things further.
I know they always say listen to your gut, but I have a habit of pushing away people who care so I'm not sure on this one. Despite our fights we really suit each other down to the ground.
M here. Question for you lovely L's.
Should I tell my partner I struggled with a mild case of porn addiction due to lack of sex? After a serious dryspell in our lovelife I started watching porn as a way to compensate and I developed certain kinks I want to try out with her, especially since she is starting to get more sexually active with me again. She is really vanilla though, so I'm afraid that everything I ask of her will make her hate me or think I'm a perv.
Anyway, how should I "come clean" about this habit I was able to kick? It would really explain a lot of my behavior in the past towards her, but I'm afraid of how she will react. She is highly conservative in the bedroom, much to my dismay.
How long did that "he/she is perfect/flawless" phase when you first fell in love with your gf/bf last?
I'm wondering cause it's been 3 months and i still think he's perfection. I can't tell if i'm putting him on a pedestal, are blinded by love or if he really is perfect. I mean, i get that he's a bit insecure sometimes, but that's by all means no flaw.
After being together for over 10 years, I can say that I, as the man, still have glimmers of "wow" and "I'm in love" feels for her. She admits that those feelings have faded, that's only "just love" now and no longer the "in love" sensation.
I don't have that all the time, I think that picture of your partner fades after a few years.. The moment "the glass breaks" and you realize all the stupid shit your partner does. You find a way to see past that. Maybe the more stupid shit your partner does, the faster you fall out of love? That being said my wife does some annoyingly stupid shit and I can still look at her from time to time and say I'm in love.
What kind of things would you want to try?
In general, it would have been good to be upfront about that new habit when it started to form. However, if she's even the slightest bit empathic she will understand. Why was the dry-spell?
Tell her that you understood she needed some time off from your sex-life and since you didn't feel exactly the same you searched for ways to cope that won't affect or hurt her too much and give her the freedom and peace she needed (you don't have to believe this but it will make the convo go way smoother). Then tell her that you started to watch porn and that it became increasingly more kinky and that you thought it would be awesome to try some of the stuff you saw. Make it a bit emotional, tell her that everytime you watched porn, all you could think of was how neat it would be to be able to experience this with HER.
In general, make her feel like all you did was to protect her and your relationship and that you missed sleeping with her during it all and about all the fantasies you had and how they revolved around finally having a beautiful and playfull sexlife with her again.
I've shown a lot of emotional instability and insecurity to my girlfriend in the past two months or so. I realise this is a huge turn off for most women. Should I end this now before she inevitably comes to the conclusion herself?
Because women are inferior and can only feel good about themselves by whoring themselves out to the the most desirable males, even if those guys are just cocky and worthless. Expecting a woman to think for herself and not seek validation from everyone who crosses their her is insanity.
There isn't anything I don't want to try. I was caught up in the pornsites so bad I saw everything and it made me so filled with lust. I just know I won't be able to enjoy 10% of the things I saw with her because I know that, if she did it, she'd do it for me.
And I cannot use that excuse, because while I was suffering through my addiction I was also filled with resent towards her for making me feel bad and unwanted. She was going through stuff with her family and lack of sleep. I tried to be understanding, but even a cuddle from me to her was met with a "hidden agenda" speech from her side. Things calmed down and I told her that maybe it's the birth control that is fucking with her libido again (this was an issue in the past) and so now she stopped using it. This made her more horny and she's now masturbating again, but I feel that if I tell her the things I want to enjoy (ranging from anal/ass play to tying her up and spanking her) she will be grossed out. She really isn't into that kind of stuff.
I guess babysteps is the real answer.
Oh. Ok. But it doesn't bother me at all since i know the struggle and i know he's working on it. So, that's it? Wow...
That's fucking beautiful anon. I really hooe somebody feels that way about me too.
I mean, i do recognize when he does stuff that's not "perfect". But it just makes me fall in love with him even more.
I still think HE is perfect even when his ACTIONS aren't always (but 99.999% of the time they are).
What are those things your wive does that you see past? What's your mindset to do so? Cause as it seems this is something a lot of couples struggle with.
makes perfect sense that you would probably fall out of love pretty fast if the annoying habits and actions would get overwhelming. Never looked at it this way. Thanks anon!
Honestly I'd have to give that a lot of thought. I don't know... It's stupid menial stuff that you notice when they are there but forget about immediately after.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sick and tired as fuck of her being addicted to her tablet games. If I could throw that damn thing out the window I could, but hey, she can say the same thing about me and my videogames.
Have you told her that her changed libido made you feel unwanted? Because i don't think what i just wrote is an excuse. I think sex is a big part of a ltr. It's very important. And i also think that if you experience phases of lacking libido you NEED to be absolutely empathuc and honest with your partner. You can't expect them to just pack away their sensuality as long as you "don't feel it" and even make them feel bad for wanting the slightest bit of intimacy and body-contact. That was a huge faux-pas on her side. And since not everybody would have gone trough this irrational behaviour with her and tried to understand and give her space i think it's only reasonable that it WAS about protecting her. I mean, you could have left her "because sex is crucial to you". But you didn't. You found a (pretty damage controling) way to cope and she should be very thankfull for that.
Do you have sex again? Or did she just start masturbating again? I'd say baby steps is a good idea. Maybe tell her how much you would like to watch her. The other stuff needs to be introduced like with every vanilla partner. Always with consent and one step at a time. But you might want to come for adv again when you get there. First focus on getting your vanilla sex back and then go from there
I think there's more acceptance towards people with different tastes, such as liking "unconventional beauty". I don't think I'd feel the need to hide my GF if she was larger than most.
That genuinely made me laugh. If the only thing you think is annoying about her after 10!!!! Years is her being too absorbed and enthusiastic about farm ville (or whatever) then you two are now my relationship goal.
I have told her. Many times. In "kind" ways, in angry ways, in subtle ways, in non-resentful ways, in hurtful ways.. It always ends in the same way. She cries and gets upset, thinks I will leave her and we go to sleep. Then she wakes me up in the middle of the night to have pity sex. I engage, but feel terrible afterwards because I know why she does it.
We currently have sex again.. Maybe once every two weeks. And she initiates once every 4 to 6 weeks. She told me she wanted to wake me up for sex on monday, because she masturbated and felt horny.. But she didn't want to wake me. That's just one giant tease, telling me she touched herself and then denying me the result? And laughing about it? Harr that's rich.
I would love to watch her masturbate, but I doubt that will ever happen. She is very, very private about that.
At least she is now beginning to be open for outfits (she has an amazing lingerie corset from our wedding and she has worn it maybe twice. She recently decided to store it in a nearby closet instead of the attic, so this gives me hope)
I think we'll get there in time, but I just wish she wouldn't be so selfish about it. She only wants "good sex" on her time. She still doesn't let me feel her up and engage in foreplay, hopefully that will change in time.
Damn. The memories. I once was in a similar situation and it's so frustrating. Like hammering on a wall with your fists.
She's aware of the problem and is trying to do something about it. That's a first step. I don't think she meant to tease you with that story. I wouldn't wake my bf up because i'm horny either. And we have a rather playfull and kinky sexlife. I just think it wouldn't be enjoyable to get woke up and then also having to engage in physical activities.
What did she say was the reason for her vanished libido? I mean, there must be more to it than birth controle. If i would suddenly feel my sexuality drained out of me (i was there, i know how it feels) i would still make sure my bf get's LOADS of kisses and cuddles and i would definitely up the hand and blow jobs. I don't need to be wet and horny for that. I just enjoy seeing him in pleasure and for that i don't need my libido. I would also do ANYTHING to get our sex back again. So i'm almost sure that there's more to her story. She sounds like she has a problem with sexuality in general. I would really advice her to get therapy. Maybe it's also low selfesteem. If girls don't feel beautiful and sensual they are almost not able to enjoy sex and be open and playfull about it.
Speaking about playfull, the thing that's the base of my sexual believes is that sex ia how adults play. It's fucking awesome. You should go about it with humor, excitement and a sense of adventure (especially when diving into kinky stuff). You could try to get her to see this side of sex. Maybe it will make her loosen up and enjoying herself a bit more. It's not aboit performance and looking flawless. Sex should funny, messy, unpredictable, unexpected, surprising, daring, quiet, loud, slow or hard. It's so much. It's a damn shame to limit yourself that way...
> and i would definitely up the hand and blow jobs. I don't need to be wet and horny for that. I just enjoy seeing him in pleasure and for that i don't need my libido.
Totally the opposite of my situation. She doesn't even like to give me a BJ during foreplay, so she'll never just come out and do it on her own. She just doesn't like the mess that revolves around sex. If I use a bit of spit as natural lube, she gets grossed out and her ladyboner gets shattered.
That she has a problem with sexuality in general is a good posibility. She even told me once that she wanted to get therapy, but that was for something unrelated. I encouraged it though, in the hopes that it would wake up underlying issues and that it would make her able to talk about sex but suddenly she overcame some of the issues that made her want to get into therapy in the first place.
I think a big part of her problems stem from her parents. They were together for over 30 years and suddenly her dad came out of the closet. Had affairs with younger men for years and years and was basically a scumbag sex addict. This may have turned her away from the idea of sex. It's funny though, because she is always crying to me about how I will leave her whenever I mention her lacking libido.
In part, I think it is also lazyness. The fact that she doesn't want to give me an HJ or a BJ when it is clear that I can use it (workrelated stress, other stress... ) she knows how much I need to take a load off.. She just can't bring herself to do it.
>must be more to it than birth controle
I must admit that I might have some part to play in this as well. At first I didn't realize her lack of libido and I kept pushing for sex (we had a few months of amazing sex and then suddenly it stopped all together, for me it seemed out of the blue) and I didn't see the signals in time. I may have created an adverse effect by being to pushy with her. That's why I laid low for quite a while and used online porn as an escape.
Girls, this question may sound stupid, but:
Should I bother even desiring companionship if I don't conform? I'm not trying to sound like some rebel, but I've never liked what everyone else likes in mass, and I don't think I ever will.
By this, I mean that even throughout school I was like this and it seemed to work. Probably something that only works for that frame of time, but if this is me, I can't "grow up" or something and just randomly start liking all the bullshit people obsess about day to day.
What am I to do? I feel like this mindset "isn't allowed" in guys unless they're gay, because I honestly wouldn't mind if the chick I'm with makes more money or drives the car, etc. I'll be a housedad, I just don't want to be that cookie cutter guy they always complain about being put under, or have the same type of girl.
Thoughts? I've been single for 3 years now, and prior to that I was unable to go a month or two without getting into a relationship, so this is.. Different.
Why are some people so weird about guys and girls being friends? I mean, some people just get a bit confused by it, others outright claim it's not possible since straight guys and girls hanging out will always involve someone wanting to fuck someone. That may or may not be true but even if it is, so what? Is it that hard to practice impulse control? I have female friends that, yeah, are very attractive and if I knew them any other way I'd want to sleep with in a heartbeat...but something about being close friends really squashes a lot of that desire.
What where the problems she wanted to go to therapy for?
It's a fact that parents are responsible for instilling a healthy sexuality. How old is she? How long have you been together?
I had a horrible start into my sexuality. (let's say i lost my virginity to a guy i didn't really know at age 12). And yes, my parents where to blame. But this didn't stop me from working on it and finding a mindset that i can agree with and feel good about.
You two remind me so much of my ex and me.
In the beginning our sex was ok. Then i got pregnant and had an abortion(i was 17 and we only knew each other a few weeks). This incident made me go full depression and loose all inrerest in sex. I reacted similar to your gf. And my bf resorted to porn. Oh how i hated that! And then when my libido came back he was the one blocking because he resenred the way i had handled my low phase. We fought a lot about sex and feeling unwanted, unloved and undesireable. It was horrible and immature. In hindsight we both just weren't ready for a good relationship. I was still WAY too deeply involved with all my issues. And so was he. I then ended it and was single (and sexless) for 5!! Years. I went to therapy and i worked on myselfe full force. A few months ago i finally felt like i am at a place that would allowme to have a healthy and mature relationship. I started dating my bf and iT like dax and night.
She can do this whitheout breaking up. But she needs to be brutally honest (with herself) and motivated to get it over with once and for all. Playing victim isn't going to cut it either. And professional help never hurts.
I don't need "someone out there", though.
I want "someone right here" and if you're not running around like a chicken with your head cut off, it feels like you're never going to find them.
Dating sites are just sad, pathetic holes for guys to infest, begging for sex, or girls who literally do it for the attention. To see how many likes and messages they can get. (Don't refute this, I've actually met and known some of them in real life, for science)
When degeneracy ruins basically every aspect of life, I can see how people NEET out after a while. I say that, and people go "find yourself a nice church girl then" but that's just another mass meme that I wouldn't want to be associated with.
This is how people go crazy. Its not that they can't stand it, but the sane people must go "fuck it" after a certain point.
You can safely dismiss the opinion of people that have a problem with YOUR lifechoices tha DON'T affect them in any way. There are plenty of girls out there that are up for a relstionship like that. It does require honest communication. But that's a requirement for every relationship
People always say that, and I never know where they're referencing. Currently living in New York Shity and they don't want that here. You saying I gotta move "out there"?
It means that life doesn't hand you your desires on a silver platter and you need to make an effort to find what you want in life. It's harder when what you want isn't the norm. But it's possible.
Right now it just sounds like your griping rather than seeking advice.
She is 25, i'm 26. Together for 8 years.
First loves all that jazz.
She wanted to go to therapy because she was suffering from anxiety after the Paris bombings. She just lost faith in the world I guess. Me being a /pol/-tard meme spouting asshat didn't really help that fact. I came to my senses and relaxed with her, calmed her down and I guess that was enough to make her not want to go to therapy anymore. I'm a bit bummed out by that, because I think it would be really helpful for her.. I tried talking to her about it but she reacted in a strange way.
Nobody knows. Else everybody would be happy and in love. What you do is focus on being the best version of yourself and there will be good girls being drawn to you. And i'm not ONLY talking about getting fit and rich. Personality is way more important. The first will get you shallow ons. The second is more engineered toward finding a partner on eye level that you can have a real relationship with.
Yeah. She should really get into that age where she starts to transition into being an adult. Right now she sounds like a bundle of nerves and issues.
Why and how did she react stranfe to your idea?
At second thought if i had small perky boobs i'd have a huge collection of the prettiest bras ever. They are so beautiful!
I'd really like to have the choice to wear one or not
I am a dude, but I have a sister (I asked her that exact question) and she said that the concensus with most girls(all of the ones she asked) as she has seen it that they would still have a bra.
I've been dealing with her sexuality for while now, and I guess I mentioned before that I think therapy would be great for her to also talk about her issues with her sexlife. I suspect she saw through my motive of therapy, as a means to get her in bed again.
She is a very resentful person that way, it's hard to explain. Just, the thought of me mentioning sex to her makes her uncomfortable. But ONLY when she doesn't feel like it. There are times where I come home from work and she is all up in my face, prancing around in one of her fantastic dresses showing of her cleavage or body and practicality seducing me. Not outright, not with innuendos, but just.. Flaunting her body and making me praise it (which I do!)
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced this is all part of some powerplay over me.
I am a larger guy, nearing 2 metres, and I have been told that I look and walk as if I am angry and determined; I am naturally very shy and actually a bit of a pushover, but I was raised to walk and present myself strongly. Is the dissonance in personality and the way I carry myself strange?
No. But I have to conoensate with pasties. Because nipples are lewd or something.
Bras are uncomfortable and do nothing for me. Fuck em.
You're self destructing.
For one, I'm surprised that you're surprised she didn't tell you. You've only been dating for a few weeks. You barely know each other.
She probably told you either because she feels like it's a dirty secret that she needed to tell you because she trusts you to not hate her, or because she wants to move your sex life in the kinky direction.
She probably saw the shock on your face and didn't want to freak you out any further.
I can't speak for her but I have personally done the same and the reason I didn't explain it for a whole was because I didn't want the guy to get annoyed and I didn't want to have to explain why
Just don't get into the mindset that you don't have any issues. Just saying. Other than that it might be that she makes a powerplay out of it. Probably because she thinks she nees it. Therapy. There's no way around it
Not as important as guys think but a great bonus
The right hairstyle can say a lot about a guy and make him seem really cool
But attitude/personality is wayyyy more important imo
Oh I know I have issues, don't worry. I know I'm part to blame and that I used wrongs ways to express myself.
I will try see if she still wants therapy, if the situation doesn't improve. Like I said, she is being more sexual again lately, maybe the problem will work itself out.
I just still don't know if I should mention my struggle with porn. It's over now, I don't have that addiction anymore.. But I feel like I should be honest to her about it and tell her what caused it.
The jist I'm getting is, "cool, you're a decent guy now. Its going to be a long time before you find a decent girl though because everyone wants a decent girl, even girls now. Good luck"
This isn't griping. I'm just trying to underline crappy advice, because you guys/ girls aren't saying anything of value, which goes back to my original point of not trying anymore.
Shit like this is why everyone agrees that women like assholes, because you have all the advice in the world for them, but not the normal guys who are just trying to get along.
Girls, and perhaps Boys too:
I've noticed in the modern age there are way more uglier women than usual, I'm talking about Dykes, Jews, and Butches. In the past the majority of women looked cuter and ugly women were not-so common.
How would ugly women in the past coped? What were their purpose if they were never married off due to not being feminine appealing? Or were they purged out because of e.g. accused of being witches?
You haven't seen them because there aren't many pictures or paintings of the uglier women. There were just as many, if not more thanks to modern medicine and make up, of ugly women a century ago.
Probably their fear of dishonoring their families due to faulty genetics. Possibly killed off or, if lucky, forced to become nuns or servants.
The point is that the ugly woman is often seen as a burden and evil, whereas a cute girls are seen as honorable and trustworthy.
I just thought how, let's say a dyke-looking girl, would have coped in the past.
if you feel like saying it, it's the right time. my bf told me 1,5 months in. and i admittedly had nearly told him myselfe before that. granted, we where low key crushing on each other for 3 years prior, but still.
People don't marry purely on appearance, now or ever. They were probably passed around for family alliances, dowry, etc. regardless of how they looked. Coping was probably pretty even across the board because misogyny finds ways to put any woman in a bad spot
You don't get out of the friend zone. Either she takes you out of it herself and into her life as a partner, or you leave in the other direction: out of her life.
Third option is to stay as a friend of course, but that is nothing but a gateway to a horrid emotional roller-coaster that never ends well.
Lose weight and distance yourself without being a dick and pursue other girls. As you shed the fat and put on some muscle your options change slowly, but significantly.
>She finally notices you as being attractive (work on fashion sense and personal grooming at the same time) and starts sending you flirting signals that signal shes open to your advances. Congrats.
>Your approaches of other girls while you've been working out and improving yourself eventually nets you the attention of a hypothetical Girl2. Congrats again, now you can focus your romantic feelings on a person that actually wants to receive them and enjoy a legit friendship with Girl1. This method also allows the possibility that Girl2 is actually hotter/more fun/funnier and overall a better match for you than Girl1 is.
Godspeed anon. Get your gym membership and see a personal trainer ASAP.
Thanks for the advice. I'm ok with staying friends with her, I don't feel very strongly about her, like I said in another post. I just want to to use this opportunity to avoid future friendzones and possibly get out of them, I find it very easy to fall in and it sucks.
Already got other girls I'm pursuing so that won't be a problem and losing weigh is a WIP atm. I've lost close to 120 pounds in the past year or so, just got to keep at it. I went from not getting any interest from girls, to getting some interest, to actually getting shit done, so everything that comes at me now is a learning experience and I don't have a lot of attachments between my own self worth and girls anymore so I can approach things more objectively.
Opinions on girls dying hair to be redheads?
I have natural brown hait and wanted to change that (pic related).
Still I got many opinions that people (especially men) consider fake redheads a redflag.
"May I join you?"
She says yes. Sit down.
"I'm Anon. What's your name?"
I would personally make some joke about how I always see her there, and she's a character of my lunch life now. How I figured I'd introduce myself since she seems interesting.
If you're flirting, say, "No way! You're beautiful. Any camera has got to see that."
Or like "I'd bet you're beautiful in photos. And even more beautiful in real life! There's that certain quality to the crinkle in your eye when you smile, the shake of your shoulders in a laugh. Camera can't capture that."
Might be a little sappy if you aren't already like that. I get more leeway as a girl flirting on a girl.
I'm attentive enough to notice incompatibilities without having to look for flags of any color. I'm also attentive to red hair because I think it's hot. Fuck the haters. Dye your hair and let my mouth water a bit.
Is your girlfriend dropping other hints that she doesn't want to spend time with you? If not you're reading too much into the situation; in fact you're being a bit of a drama queen by turning this into a "she would rather" scenario.
People do things they don't like with people they don't like because they need to maintain a variety of relationships. Even crummy relationships get maintenance time because A) they give social security and B) it takes more effort and stress to break off a relationship than to put minimal effort into appeasing it
girls and guys
A pen pal who I have a close friendship with is going through hard times. The last 2 weeks has just been a bunch of difficult things going on for her. I live on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, but I really feel bad and want to help her. She's important to me and I just wish I could be there in some sense to help. She knows she can talk to me about anything and I'm always available if she just needs to vent to someone. But she doesn't always use it. I just feel helpless really...
This sounds close to what's been happening with me and my internet friend. In my case I haven't been communicating as much because I dislike depending too much on another person. But can you share deets on her situation? And what is it that you want to do for her?
As much hate as girls that have dyed their hair to something bright I think it can look hot as fuck, it's just that most girls that do it aren't that good looking. In the end what color your hair is doesn't really matter to me.
Well I guess technically she is a internet friend because we met on Interpals (pen pal website). But we have met once before IRL. Anyways, she lives in a small town in Europe and just has been dealing with a lot of shit. Especially at work. Her supervisor treats her like shit. She JUST got paid for December today, and it wasn't even the full amount. Her supervisor is disrespectful as fuck to her and just makes her life at work hell. She's a hard worker though. She's gone to work when she knew she wasn't going to get paid just to help her friends who work there. She's a solid person. I don't know how I could possibly help. I just want her to smile and be happy.
Well she sounds like a really sweet person! I feel you're pretty attached to her so I'm just gonna say, shitty life problems are mostly a personal journey. As a friend you can't put yourself in a position where you take her problems away, you just need to support her. Just keep doing what you do, and don't feel bad knowing there are some things you CAN'T do.
If you feel she's holding back on venting, I'd try to get into an open conversation about it. But it's possible she's just gotten tired of venting (as has been the case with me and my friend recently) because it's just exhausting to remind herself of a stressful topic.
If you don't already, voice chatting, making or finding stupid stuff to make her laugh, and playing online games together have been serious mood lifters in the past.
Thanks for the advice. maybe I have been trying to get too involved. I just care about her a lot so it's hard to just know she's feeling like shit. But I hear what you're saying.
We do Skype occasionally, we have very opposite schedules so we do when we can. She does like Skyping as she's told me before I'm a very good distraction for her. When we skype she smiles and laughs a lot
I'm just stating a fact, I'm genuinely curious about the reason behind it. Is it in your DNA or do all women just decide to be complete bitches at some point in their life? Also, how does it feel that the only useful part about yourself is your vagina? You're literally useless or inferior in every other way.
I would but you ate those for breakfast!
Does a guy talking about marriage and romance freak you out, like a friend or acquaintance. Not about romance or marriage to you but in general.
Girls have often asked what I look for in a women for long term and usually I say shit like someone to walk up to, kiss goodbye in the morning, talk to or even just be comfortable in silence, someone to cuddle with and watch tv with and maybe let me climb on top of them a couple times a week for sexy time.
But sometimes I get a feeling girls see this as creepy or clingy.
>Doritos and mountain dew are not a breakfast item
I told you the same thing, but all I heard in response was "muh pms!" and you startend eating 12 bags of dorritos and sent me to the store to get you some chocolate.
I expect them to be at least as mature as I am, if not more so. If they're less mature than me, then it's definitely a turn off and I know it's not going to work out long term. I'd also like to note that being too mature could also be a problem. I'm young and still want to have fun and do stupid shit from time to time, so having a guy who will just roll with it is important.
I mentioned that and she said "I didn't realize I was being less talkative". So I think she is just really down, I've been trying to be cheerful and bring up fun conversations to help. But nothing. I just asked her a few min ago how her day has been and her response was just "Eh......."
Height isn't super important to me as long as they're at least an inch or two taller than me. I don't really like skinny guys, I'm more attracted to a medium build. It also makes me feel insecure when a guy I'm dating weighs less than. I also really love a guy with a nice smile. I have a few guy friends that are bordering on unibrow territory and I just want to tackle them to the ground and pluck that shit. I know a lot of guys scoff at "manscaping" but I don't know a single girl that is attracted to a unibrow, so get that shit under control.
So whilst my girlfriend went into her apartment to get something today she left her phone sitting unlocked in the car with the messages screen open.
I'm a trusting individual but I had sneaky peak out of curiousity. To my horror I seen her ex's name. The same ex that she told me she has no contact with anymore. Like when we first got together he was essentially harassing her with texts and phone calls and I told either she blocks his number or I'm not comfortable continuing on with this.
The texts aren't flirtatious, they are angry back and forths. She tells him to leave her alone but she still seems so burned up in some of her longer replies.
She got in the car and I pretended like I saw nothing. I then asked her if she'd heard from her ex later. She assured me she hasn't spoke or text him in months. She lied to me.
I'm aware I broke a major trust bond by snooping her phone and I don't even know why I let curiousity get the better of me in that moment. Perhaps because I never see her phone leave her sight never mind leaving it unlocked beside me.
What do I do? Do I pretend like I saw nothing or do I confront her because I'm concerned she's not over her ex?
Any and all advice appreciated. Thanks!
Is this a religious reason or are you just a PRUUUUDDEEEE if the former it's easy to explain. It's actually not difficult to frame correctly assuming you have a good reason. What is yours?
thanks anon. She does know I care, and she cares about me. So I think I'll do that.
The thing that worries me is because from history (not with her). But once the spark of talking fades it never comes back. Like with girls in the past. We could talk result great for a while then it just stops, and can't get going from that point. I just have this worry it could happen to this.
She's over her ex. You said there was no flirting and she was just angry, so there's nothing that contradicts this.
Your girlfriend resents her ex for whatever reason. He probably treated her like shit, and she's keeping it close to the chest because she knows you'll get jealous or concerned about it. That's what is going on here.
She lied to you because she knew if you found out that he was trying to contact her again you would freak out. So just relax.
Part of life, and I think gender differences are partially to blame. Are these girls you've crushed on? From the girl's perspective it's usually easy to tell if a guy friend has gotten a crush on her, and if the girl's not into him that way she can feel put on the spot, try to distance herself, etc. That might be the pattern you're seeing (and for the record there's not much you can do about it, except bring it up and volunteer to back off a little).
But I wouldn't relate that completely to your current friend, because there's also the fact that her job is stressing her out. All in all, focus on what's in front of you and don't fear or theorize too much about where it's headed.
Well the other girls I wasn't really crushing on. We flirted and talked about stuff. But I wasn't particularly crushing on them. Although, this girl I am. And she knows it too. But she's been pretty flirty with me the past few months. Just not lately
I have small boobs and 85% of the time I don't bother with wearing a bra. Ive only every owned one and it's only purpose is to make my boobs look bigger and more in proportion as well as hide my nipples.
This girl is a tumblrina with a few pretty cringeworthy passions, who has no indoor voice when she starts talking about them to me, isn't very good-looking or outgoing, won't stop talking about gross shit, and has a sick family member whose care stresses her out.
Yet she's so passionate and happy when she talks about those hobbies, I've been there myself to a lesser extent before I grew a shame, I kind of like how withdrawn she is, and she's one of the few people I actually comfortably talk lewd with.
She cringes me the fuck out at times, but I kind of like her I guess? Is this a weird reason to like someone? Would I be shooting myself in the foot if I started taking this seriously?
I made a pass at a girl over text and she denied it, saying that she's not that cute. Told her in a pretty roundabout way that I thought she was, and a short while after she started talking about a completely different subject.
Not going to give more context, but does this sound as a straight-up rejection? Or is it possible that she was just being insecure? I don't think she's very big with guys.
I can't stop arguing with her. Like we were so good and this past month we've done nothing but fight several times a day. Like every little thing is being analysed and over-analysed. By both sides might I add.
We always had a healthy amount of jealousy and yeah the odd fight about it but it's ruining what was a good thing and I can't see us making it much further like this. We both obviously want each other but we can't seem to get past the small stuff and just get along like we did.
Help. Please please help.
that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, issues like that don't usually show up at the start of the relationship because partners are both holding themselves back. if I told either of you to "stop being jealous" could you do it? because that's probably the solution, you guys have some suspicious kind of personality trait or something. maybe couples therapy to find out where this paranoia is coming from, assuming there is no single event that caused this idea about cheating.
See the thing is it's not our first time together. We broke up the first time but there was no cheating and no reason for jealousy and we never argued like we now do. We got back together and it felt like a new relationship and now this has hit us.
your problem will probably not get the right advice here, if you two cant just talk about this and get all introspective about your relationship and why this is happening you need a professional. if you havent talked about it yet why not make the first step, apologize for your behavior first, and ask her why both of you are feeling jealous all the time. as an outsider looking in this just looks like a huge trust issue and thats killer for relationships
I'm sitting with a girl at whatever place. We talk a bit about what she's doing. She shows me random pics on her phone at high speed. Every once in a while one of those pics sparks a short conversation. I try to find a few pics of my own to show her, but they turned out to be funnier when I first saw them. There's not much of my own that I can bring up, but enough that I can relate to what she's talking about and keep that up.
We sit like that for a while. In a weird social way it's kind of comfy, though boring. I don't know.
Is this what hanging out is usually like? Not too experienced here, but we've hung out like this a few times now. It kind of feels like I'm not doing it right. Like I'm just clinging on or something since I don't have too much to add myself. If she didn't bring up all sorts of a random things, I wouldn't be able to say much more than generic smalltalk shit or we'd sit in silence.
>Just applied to a grocery store for a job
>"Grats, you are a preferred applicant! Speak to a manager now etc."
>Speak to manager
>Dude is real wishy washy, doesn't even introduce himself, seems to be in a real hurry
>"Hiii yeaaahh nice to meet you. So your friend works at the other store and (Employee at this store) told you about a few positions here? Well I just hired a bunch of people and I'll have to see how things go on monday to know. I'll take your name and number..."
>Firm handshake, eye contact, leave
I'm not getting that job am I
Girls generally prefer it when the guy makes all the decisions. They're attracted to someone who takes charge of situations, and don't really like being put on the spot when asked what she (dis)likes, because if you do that, you're basically relegating her to planning the date.
You pick when & where to eat. There's a good chance she'll go along with it. Keep a few backup choices in mind, in case she does raise any objections (for example, you say sushi, she says she doesn't like seafood).
Girls: why would you tell someone that you have a boyfriend thats out of state and then ask someone out to go see a movie in the same conversation?
Ive only known this person for like a week so its not like we are really good friends.
>wife's name is Jelena, she's of Serbian ancestry and Serbian orthodox
>my name is Anthony, I'm of Italian ancestry and Roman Catholic (agnostic leaning, however)
>we're expecting a daughter in a month
We haven't come up with a name. I want it to be a name with some character, some strength, something my daughter will be proud of. We've pooled together some ideas and can some women in this thread comment on them?
My wife likes all my names but I only like one of hers: Heather. I'm really pushing for Caitlin, but I can concede on a Serbian version of the name: Katarina.
How do I ask a girl out when we both have super busy schedules? I know she likes me from conversations with mutual friends but she's also concerned that with her work schedule she doesn't really have time to date. I'm not sure how much of an obstacle it will be since I'm really new to the whole dating thing but I like her and want to at least try to ask her out.
Problem is I feel like unless she texts me first I'm not sure if I'm bothering her while she's working/sleeping and then trying to find time we're both off might be really hard.
What do I do?