I really need your help with this one guys. Long post incoming
So my best friends for now over 10 years has this gf for 3 years. They moved in this year got good jobs and building a future, one could say.
However my dickface of a friend has cheated on his gf repeatedly with the same girl ( who is a 10/10 but no job, no future wife material)
This has been going on maybe for 2 years now. After his first "mistake" he told me and asked me what to do. Being his best friend, and him telling me he is really hating himself for doing it and wont ever do it again i supported him. However last spring i found out he repeatedly fucked her. I have since been telling him what an asshole he is and that he should have the guts to tell his gf if he isnt able to stop betraying her. He seemed to understand and feel a bit of remorse then. I thought i would be able to keep it silent but after a few months i felt i cant do it. He is constantly showing up at parties with his girlfriend and ( as he calls her ) his "best friend" the side chick. the two girls are having conversations and his gf is absolutely not knowing that she is talking to the girl that fucks her boyfriend. She is constantly telling everyone how great the relationship is and she even talks about kids and marrying him from time to time. I really couldnt take watching this so i talked to him again.I even told him that i could not lie/stay silent anymore should i ever see him doing stuff with that side chick again. Again he told me " there is nothing going on with that girl anymore, dont worry".
well a few weeks ago we went to a bar, the side chick was also there and when me and a friend went out for a smoke we saw him kissing his side-chick intensely in plain sight.
Again i talked to him, telling him i would call his girlfriend and tell her everything if he doesnt cut contact with that girl and this would be his final chance to snap out of this madness of lies, while his gf is clueless and happy in her dreamworld.
He nearly started crying and promised that he hadnt done anything with her in the past few months and that he only kissed her because he was drunk and stoned. He promised to cut contact with her and reduce the smoke/drinks.
Well last saturday he went to a carneval party drank and smoked heavily while his gf was at home and guess who was with him the entire night? the side-chick.
So, should i go through with my threat to tell his gf? She is also a very dear friend and i hate myself for having played a part in this shit for this long time. Most of his friends know about the side-chick and view it the same way. There are occassions where she is alone in a room with people who all know what is going on. I cant stand this shit anymore. I gave him more than enough chances to snap out of it.
It will have a massive effect on our group of friends, she will hate me anyways for telling her just now. But i dont think i can morally keep up with this. And basically he gives a shit about my advice and what i say to him. So fuck up his relationship and lose best friend? or try to keep morale out of this and feel guilty everytime i see her?
People who are being cheated on have a right to know. You don't need to intervene further than that. Just tell her he's cheating and they can sort it out for themselves.
Yes, you're his friend, but you're also not the scumbag that he is.
Do the right thing bruh.
neither jealous for his gf nor his side-chick.
They're both blonde and im more on the brunette side of life
and him having fun is one thing. Having fun on the back of the person that should be the most important one in his life while also relying on 5-6 persons to not spill a word, bc he is a dumb fuck not even trying to hide it properly is a whole different thing.
He has absolutely no morale when it comes to this. He doesnt even see what he did wrong bc" i dont really feel anything for the side-chick" and he is totally fine with planning out his life with his gf even though he has this giant pile of shit as the fundament of his relationship.
The first few times i spoke to him because i was afraid it would all come out and tried to protect him and his relationship. Only when i realised that he absolutely feels no remorse and gives a shit about my advice the urge to tell her became stronger. He gives a shit about the feelings of his gf and he gives a shit about his friends that try to give him advice.
so tell me again im jealous,asshole.
Fuck that. It's one thing if you're smart enough to be discreet. It's another thing if he's shoving it in everyone's face, forcing everyone to be a shitty friend and lie directly to his girlfriend just to avoid blowing his cover. You can do whatever you want, but you can't expect other people to participate in your lies. Some of us aren't sociopaths and it's not fun at all to be put in that position. Jealousy has nothing to do with it. It's not THAT fucking hard to get laid, I'm not jealous of a guy who completely disrespects his girlfriend and his friends just because he can't control his dick
Tell her. As someone who has been cheated on, i would of liked for someone to of told me, so i didnt waste all my yrs on them. He obviously doesnt care for her if hes been doing this for a long time.
Tell the poor thing, you're doing her a favor in the long run
Seriously, imagine they get married and have kids and this is still going on
It'd ruin the kids lives, think ahead, just tell her
From one side you should leave people to commit their mistakes, but really, if you appreciate your friend give him a hard time to straighten him up.
Your friend sounds like a sociopath.
He will be caught eventually and you will have to deal with him being "depressed" and shit, though most probably he won't give a fuck. If you have the dignity he lacks at least keep him off of ruining another person's life (the cheated girl marrying her).
Appreciate all your opinions alot. Thanks!
Im out to meet with another friend now, who happens to know about this thing. I will share your opinions and hope that will give me the courage to tell her. will update.
we have a very close group of male friends. This group consists of 8 people, including the cheater.
of the remaining 7 people 3 know about it. We even talked about what to do because of what the consequences would be for our group.
The other 4 are more or less believing that something is going on between the cheater and his side-chick because of how obvious his behavior is. Most of these guys were friends with his gf since before they were together. We all went to the same school.
The side-chick is also not that discreet about it and told at least her 2 best friends. She is more or less proud of fucking with a 6 year older friend of her older brother. We are all from the same small town so everybody knows everyone to a degree.
I dont know if his gf is suspecting anything. I know it sounds hard to believe since nearly everyone that saw him with his side-chick, even when not knowing anything made remarks about how awkwardly close they seem to be.
So basically whenever he and his gf show up on any occasion at least 2-3 people are present that know about it.