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>broke up with ex 3 months ago
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>broke up with ex 3 months ago
>still have feelings for him
>also been having dreams about him recently
>decide to try and contact him
>private profile
>too scared to add him
>i make my profile public (idk why i did to be honest)
>get a snack
>20 mins later
>his profile is public
>panic
>think about adding him
>ended up putting my profile back on private

did i do the right thing? i really want to talk to him again. pls help because i feel like im going crazy
>>
>>16768050

How about you stop torturing yourself and A: Actually talk to him like a grown adult or B: Look for someone else.
>>
Why did you break up and were you the one who left?
>>
more informations about the breakup reasons and his reaction and afterwards communication
>>
>>16768058
i'm too scared. he'd prob be like "why are you talking to me now" or something. i don't want anyone else

>>16768097
long story. yes, i was the one who left
>>
>>16768126
>i was the one who left
>i don't want anyone else

Dude\dudette, this sounds like such a bad idea, you don't even know it. But if that's true, your only choice is to actually explain things to him - say you were mistaken and that you want to give it another shot.

It's still fucked up, though. If the dude's got any backbone, he'll think you've got yourself thinking you can toy with him whenever you want.
>>
>>16768118
i left him because of his choices.
i deleted the messages but i remember he told me he didn't want to stop talking to me. then a few days later i thought he was talking in a thread on r9k so i asked him if it was him in the thread and he said no it wasn't and that he hadn't been on r9k in ages. i didn't reply after that and we've been no contact ever since.

>>16768137
what if he ignores me if i try explaining things?
but i'm not trying to toy with him, i genuinely want to be with him. why can't he just talk first!!! was him making his profile public a coincidence? or am i just overthinking everything?
>>
>>16768152

> i'm not trying to toy with him, i genuinely want to be with him

I don't doubt it - he might, though. Don't know the guy.

>why can't he just talk first!

You dumped him, silly head. He either looking for somebody else or has enough self-respect not to keep chasing you.

> was him making his profile public a coincidence? or am i just overthinking everything?

Yes, that's very, very likely.
>>
>>16768164
he better not be looking for somebody else. i'm the only person he needs lol jk (not really)
how do i start the conversation?

i don't think it's very likely. maybe i should test that theory again
>>
Speaking from experience, if you left him he hates your guts. He's not going to try and talk to you and if you're going to talk to him anything other than "I'm sorry for what I did to you" is going to sound fake and contrived. You threw this guy in the trash so move on. Your personal reputation with everyone else who knows the two of you will also drop dramatically if you throw yourself at him again.
>>
>>16768183

Don't worry too much about it, first things first. This sounds like the kind of conversation you'd want to have in person anyway, so I'd say that's it's been a while and you want to talk him somewhere. It could be a date, I guess.

If he has any interest, he'll go or at least set an alternate time. If he doesn't, well, time to move on.
>>
Man the fuck up, girl. You're done with each other, try to not talk to him again and concentrate in your own things.
>>
>>16768097

You dumped him to fuck another guys and now you're bored and lonely right?
>>
>>16768210

Wrong quote >>16768126
>>
>>16768192
hmm... i hope he doesn't hate me. also, we don't have any mutual friends/acquaintances so that isn't an issue.

>>16768196
we mostly spoke over text. and i doubt he'd be comfortable meeting in person about this because i'm pretty sure he doesn't like leaving his house

>>16768199
it's hard when i can't stop thinking about him. plus it's uni holidays, nothing to concentrate on

>>16768210
lol no actually i'm a virgin
>>
>>16768214
>we mostly spoke over text. and i doubt he'd be comfortable meeting in person about this because i'm pretty sure he doesn't like leaving his house

Send him a message and tell him you're coming over, then. I mean, this was a physical relationship, right? You're not 13 and exchanging love letters, I hope.
>>
>>16768214

Then give us some context, why do you dumped him? depending on the case it will be harder or easier to catch up with him again
>>
>>16768225
i can't just say that! he'll prob get annoyed and i don't want that. lol nobody is underage, we are both uni students
>>
>>16768238

Girl, the man doesn't leave the house and he also wouldn't like you to come over.

Your only remaining option is to actually text him, then. Fuck, just say you miss him.

This still sounds like such a fucking bad idea.
>>
>>16768238
Just call him. Chances are he is dying to get you back but is too proud because you did the dumping.

Also:
>r9k
>doesn't like to leave his house
Are you sure you wanna second guess your own decision?
>>
>>16768237
because he wanted to do something that i did not like.
when we first started talking, i told him i will stop talking to him if he ever takes drugs or anything like that. and one day he tells me that he wants to try it and he gives me like, this whole list of shit he wants to try. so i was like, 'are you ever going to change your mind about it?' and he's like no. so i left him. i have to be strict on stuff like that because it would affect my future career prospects if he ever got caught with that shit while i was with him.

you know what? thank you so much anon. recounting this has made me remember how immature this guy really was.


>>16768246
>>16768252
i don't really leave the house either t bh lol. i deleted his number. only way to contact him is if i add him on steam but i'm not going to do that.

you guys are life savers. thank you for stopping me from humiliating myself lol

but there's still one problem: how do i stop thinking about him?
>>
>>16768276

Was about to say that, glad you figured out by yourself.
>>
>>16768276

> this whole list of shit he wants to try

Seems like a dodged bullet.

>how do i stop thinking about him?

Meet new people and take up more hobbies. Chances are you're only focused so much on this guy because he's part of your limited social circle.
>>
It's always your prerogative to message him back. Men know that if they beg they will just get the door slammed in their faces because women are heartless whores. So contact him to tell him you still care.
>>
>>16768295
i still have feelings for him though. this is so frustrating.
i don't really do anything besides play video games and read. and whenever i'm on steam it just reminds me of him and then i get all depressed again. idk what else to do

>>16768303
hey if he started talking to me and wanted to work things out, i would not 'slam the door on his face'.
only way to contact him is to add him on steam but he is offline now.
also, you kinda sound like him..... i'm actually getting paranoid now
>>
>>16768322
>i don't really do anything besides play video games and read

Just start doing random stuff available on your area. The gym is a decent place to see some new faces and you can get in shape too.

Honestly, just make an active effort to go places where you might get decent company. Instead of reading or gaming at home, go to an internet café, library or LAN house for instance.

You not going to meet a new boyfriend sitting on your couch where no one sees you.
>>
>>16768367
Oh I go to the gym as well, just not as much. Maybe I should go more frequently.
I can't go pc cafe because we went there and it would remind me of him. I don't really like busy/crowded areas.
I don't want a new boyfriend, I want him :'(
>>
>>16768384
>I don't want a new boyfriend, I want him :'(

You poor dumbass.

Give it time and, again, hang out with new people. You left him for a reason and, jesus fuck, surely will eventually fall in love with somebody who's not a drughead r9k posting shut-in.
>>
>>16768413
I'm not a dumbass
I don't really know how to talk to people..
He didn't do drugs, he just said he wanted to in the future
>>
>>16768420
> he just said he wanted to in the future
Sounds equally retarded.

>I don't really know how to talk to people

There's threads about that everyday - all the time. Thing is, you've got to realise that learning to socialize is how you add new, interesting people to your life. Telling yourself that you no good with other people is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

You are into books and video games - those a pretty common interests you can find somebody to talk about pretty easily. How your social life at uni?
>>
>>16768433
I don't have a social life at uni lol. But to be honest, everyone in my class is like that. They all keep to themselves unless it's group work.
>>
>>16768444

Oh, c'mon, there's got be people in your class that want to hang around sometime. I mean, I'm not super close to my class mates either, but we do go drinking every now and then.

Just ask a group of 3-4 people you like\tolerate to do something together.
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