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>be 19
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>be 19
>decent looking but not a stunner but i make up with it by having a pretty decent amount of charisma and high intelligence
>Started university in september
>Moved in with a bunch of great people and this one beautiful girl
>We hit it off but it becomes pretty apparent that she has a boyfriend who goes to the same uni
>She loves him
>sees him occasionally
>She's the good girl type - studies hard, hates cheating, never smoked etc
>has social anxiety and depression which really eats away at her
>over time she begins to confide in me
>when she has trouble sleeping I stay up all night until she falls asleep telling her stories of when i was a kid
>start catching feelings for this girl
>Have great times together as friends
>she even trusts me enough to smoke her first (and last) joint with me
>admits to me that she self harms
>convince her that every time she feels the urge she should talk to me
>get really good at calming her down and cheering her up
>months go by and we become ridiculously close
>I don't tell her my feelings but every time we're drunk we get very flirtatious
>one night drunk in my room after going to a club she asks me if i like her
>tell her i do but downplay it
>she tells me that for her its just platonic
>the next week is a bit awkward until one night she calls me because she needs me. she's become somewhat dependent on me when she's feeling depressed
>i admit to her that i don't just like her a little bit (but didn't say love)
>tell her the story of my first day at uni as well as other stories
>get a bit playful and match up the cute moles on her back telling her which constellations they look like
>stay in her room all night until she falls asleep

Go on op chan
(sorry for late update but my shitty uni internet died.)

>Saturday comes round and her brother comes to visit for the day
>go to a club and have a fairly good night
>on the way to the club she asks me if i love her
>don't answer
>she keeps pestering me
>in the club we sit down and she asks again
>me"you don't get to ask me about something that affects me so much and affects you so little"
>see that my comment hurt her
>don't apologize
>come back fairly drunk and have some drinks on the balcony with flatmates and order pizza
>8/10 girl from the flat above us shouts down to tells us to climb up to her balcony balcony
>go upstairs with one other guy flatmate and the girl's brother
>have some more drinks and the night gets blurry
>next thing i know i'm kissing the 8/10 girl from upstairs
>feels really good but strange at the same time
>feel like i'm cheating even though i'm obviously not
>move from the kitchen to the hallway and eventually her bedroom - kissing her and bumping into things on the way
>she opens her door and leads me in
>i pause
>me: "this feels like a bad idea - i cant do this"
>turn around and leave
>go downstairs and see my flatmates eating pizza
>see girl i like and sit next to her
>whisper that we need to talk

>she comes to my room
>i tell her that she's got me so fucked up
>can't think about other girls without feeling weird
>up all night thinking about her
>she asks me if i love her again
>me:"i love you, but i hate what you've turned me into"
>she says she's sorry for hurting me so much
>silence for a moment
>she leans in and kisses me
>it's quite innocent and no tongue
>she starts freaking out saying that she can't believe she just cheated and that she hates herself
>hold her close and manage to calm her down
>tell her i'm not good enough for her anyway and i just want her to be happy
>she cries into my arms for a bit and goes to bed
>initially worried about her self harming but remember that her brother was staying in her room and relax again
>don't really register what happens
>go to bed

>next morning hungover as fuck
>she comes into my room again
>apologizes for how she acted
>i tell her it's fine
>her:"i just never knew you were so passionate anon"
>she hugs me and starts to cry again because she cheated
>stare into her eyes with my hand on her cheek and tell her she did nothing wrong
>she looks conflicted
>her: "please don't lean in"
>I don't
>she goes back to her brother
>i fall asleep again due to hangover
>woken up by her around 5pm
>tells me her brother left
>her: "im such a terrible person anon"
>me: "no you're not, i wouldn't feel the way i do about a terrible person"
>she leans in but i hold her back with my hand on her face
>she's an inch away from my face
>me: "you'll regret this"
>her: "please kiss me"
>hold her back for a few seconds but it's literally agony
>there's nothing i want to do more than kiss her right now
>finally cave in and close my eyes while releasing my grip
>feel her lips lightly graze mine
>she collapses in my chest and cries again
>her: "i can't feel this way about you - it doesn't make sense"
>hold her for a while playing with her hair while she plays with my beard.
>she tells me she needs to tell her boyfriend but she cries because she knows he will break up with her
>try to convince her not to - i'm genuinely frightened of how she'd react if he broke up with her
>she stands up and tells me she needs to hurt herself and grabs a knife that i left on my shelf
>jump out of bed and grab the knife by the blade
>hold her close
>me"please, if you can do one thing for me, stop yourself from doing this"
>she lets go of the knife
>i throw it to the side
>she says she has to go and tell her boyfriend

>she's gone for a couple of hours
>when she gets back i ask her how it went
>she told him that i tried to kiss her but admits she wanted to kiss me back
>apparently he cried for a while which i feel pretty shit about
>but he still didn't break up with her which i'm oddly relieved about
>she tells me that she can still be my friend but she's scared of feeling close to me again
>tells me that it really is just platonic
>we say good night and go to bed
>we haven't spoken much in the past couple days but her relationship with her bf seems to have returned to normal

And here I am 4am unable to sleep feeling so fucking confused. Wat do? btw i'm living in a house with her and 4 other people next year as well. Sorry for the long read but it's a complicated story.
This is something you're gonna have to decide on your own. We can all sit around and tell you what the pros and cons are of either decision, and that might help, but when it comes down to it, you have to decide if you REALLY want this girl or if you've just got a crush.

There's only two ways I see this happening. Either you continue to spend time with her and get closer to her until she's ready to "cheat" again, and she'll either dump her bf for you or break your heart and things get awkward. OR, you continue as you have been, maybe a little more cautiously even, and accept that she's not for you and try to get over it, which is gonna be hard af if you're still spending a lot of time with her.

If you think she's worth a bit of effort, fight for her. I'm a hopeless romantic and if I were you I'd do whatever I could to convince her that she's better off with me.
You move on, that's what you do. You can remain her emotional crutch if you wish but don't limit yourself in potential partners.
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The girl sounds like me (except I have no bf) . What I would do if I were you is think about yourself too. Do you like her and do you feel comfortable with this? About her , if yiu want to make her comfortable yiu have to act comfortable yourself
to be fair as far as limiting myself in potential partners i'm probably still gonna get to fuck the 8/10 next time i see her so i don't think I actually missed out. but i want more than just a booty call and i don't see how i could have anything more than that with anyone else.

>admits to me that she self harms

Thanks for putting this in the first post, OP, now I don't have to read the rest of your novel.

Get away from her, stay away from her.

You're all faggots and you're going to reap what you sow OP.

You're a faggot for pursuing a girl who was taken until you had feelings and continuing to reach out to her

She's a faggot for being a weak-willed cheater with mental issues

and the boyfriend is a faggot for not dropping her instantly when he found out she cheated.

Their relationship will never be "normal" as the boyfriend will never ever trust her again especially with you or any guy friend around and their relationship will slowly fall apart as a result of it. The bonus scenario will be if she eventually cheats on her bf with OP gets with him and in 5 months OP will be here bawwing about how she cheated on him with a new guy and he thought they were special.
but i already care so much about her. I want her to stop and i think i can help her with stopping.
She loves you back. There's no way she can't when it was her that kissed you twice. The only reason she's telling you otherwise is because she feels guilty about her boyfriend.

Talk to her. Tell her about how you feel and that you want to be with her. Ask her if she feels the same. If she won't admit it at this point and/or won't break up with her boyfriend for you, then you can't really stay friends with her and the best thing to do at that point would be to cut things off.
she said the reason she kissed me was because she was feeling alone and neglected.
You know this comes down to a black and white choice.

1)Ask her to choose you, it gets messy for a while and you come out on the other side together or she chooses him and

A)You move on and cut ties gently but firmly.

Gray area) Ignore this situation and act normal until you are forced to choose 1 or A or life chooses for you and nothing ends even potentially well.
I'm in a similar situation, dude (but the BF is a friend I've known longer than I've known her). It's something with a lot of emotionally vulnerable girls where compassion is incredibly important to them and they become obsessed with it to the point of infatuation no matter the person. It's a cold observation, but it's something you should keep in mind to keep yourself from getting hurt.

Just be open with her, dude. The poor girl's probably having a panic attack just thinking about what is going on and reassurance would probably help the situation. Be there for her, but don't fall for her again. You gotta stay on the market dude, for her sake. I know how much it hurts more than you will ever know, but it will just cause you even more pain further down the line if you don't snap out of it. No one said being there for her is cheating though, so stay with her and protect her. That numbs it pretty well.
if i asked her to leave her boyfriend for me now she wouldn't. that would be stupid since she's been with him for longer than she's known me. and i can't cut ties because we live together and we'll be living in a house together next year.
Except the longer he is the only rock / only person to support her. The more he cares for and takes care of her.

The more he hurts her when he isn't there to help anymore. The more she will depend on him for her happiness and not have that in his absence.
You both can and have to. Did I mention it would be easy? No. Because it won't. Also I suggest getting a professional involved if she is cutting or self harming because she will return to this without help. And now that help can't be you for your and her sake.

Denial sucks m8 good night
She sounds like a crazy bitch, dont stick your dick in crazy
true don't, she'll end up hurting herself and you as well, try to keep your distances tell her you are sorry about what happened between you two, even when she comes to you crying just tell her her boyfriend is a good-guy and she should stick him.
only approach her when she breaks up with her bf
Fucking hell Tldr that shit
Remember oldfags advice OP.

One day, you will be the boyfriend who she's cheating on.
lol girls are so fucking gay
This. Rip off the bandaid anon. Unless you enjoy being miserable.
it's a complicated story faggot.
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