It sounds so cliche and autistic, but I don't think I have genuinely felt happy in a while.
I always feel like I'm bullshitting my emotions when I'm around people, even really close friends. I even started going to therapy and I still can't open up to my therapist. It just feels wrong for me, but at the same time I feel like a husk of a human being. Like I'm trying to hide my true self.
Nope. Ill try but then pussy out and blame myself for being off for being sleep deprived or overloaded with school. It sounds reasonable since I'm a CS major at a competitive school, but the reality is I spend most of my time playing games and then study a little bit before an exam or a homework assignment and end up doing well.
You have to diagnose the problem, mine is not enough free time, too much stress, no physical activity, stuck in a routine, not enough time with girlfriend, not enough alone time.
There is a source to your lack of happiness just try to critically think what you're missing and maybe write down a plan to help improve that area.
You could be depressed. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
Or dysthymic. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/persistent-depressive-disorder/home/ovc-20166590
If you think it's plausible after reading about either of them, see a psychiatrist. If you get diagnosed with either one, seeing a therapist is a pretty decent plan, too (depression -- major and persistent -- is best treated with antidepressants, usually SSRI-class antidepressants, in tandem with psychotherapy, usually cognitive behavioral therapy.).
Imagining that feels really unreal. Like, in what situation to mention it, how to say it? Also, I don't know who would I want to speak to. I don't really feel connected enough with anyone.
I agree with most of what you say. I don't feel comfortable saying it, not because I'm not connected to people in a sociopathic way, but more so I just don't feel like I'm ever that close to someone.