Long story short, several months back things ended with this guy I dated. The last time we talked was when we basically said goodbye. There where no drama or anything involved, but it was clear that that conversation was our last and we don't stay in touch, even casually as friends.
And now I got a short message from him. Nothing personal, just "well hi."
And ehmm, I don't know. I feel like, that by answering I'm swallowing my pride cause at one point in time I was a bit too excited and clingy I think, which probably turned him off. There was a history of him not really returning to my messages.
But, the thing is, I've been thinking about him all these months. Every single day. I haven't contacted him or anything so I haven't literally obsessed over him, life has went on, but I can't deny my feelings. I really did like that guy. We never had sex, so it's not like he was some sort of an abuser and now just contacted me cause he'd want sex.
So am I going to reply?
Part of me says no. But, I don't know. If it was any other guy, I'd feel neutral about that, but in this case, that message gave me a little heart attack.
I just don't know whether I should reply or not. What do you think?
Well, obviously if you reply you'll ultimately end up marrying him and become trapped in a loveless marriage with a distant husband who barely seems to care about you.
But if you don't reply, you will miss your one chance for true happiness with a wonderful man who learned his lesson and would be perfect to you for the rest of your lives.
Is that about the size of it, dingbat?
Need more info. Crucially, why did you break up? And have either of you changed since then?
If things are different now, go for it. If you're likely to have the exact same problems as before... Go for it anyway, but consider the possibility it might not work out
>What reason do you actually have not to?
My pride. Simply.
It was he who rejected me. Not in a nasty way or anything though. I'd feel like a fool if I gave him any attention.
But then again, the feelings are still there somewhere. A lot has changed during these months though, but the way I feel about him hasn't changed a bit. I wouldn't run back to him just like that though, but I can't say I wasn't happily surprised when I heard from him.
I was being a bit crazy cause I was insecure. Shortly, my behavior probably wasn't too attractive. And I know it. Also, I guess he got the image that I was seeing someone else. Cause we weren't like actually together or anything and he saw me with a guy friend of mine. I don't know. There where never a dramatic break up or anything, we just kinda stopped staying in touch.
I've changed during this time. Dealed with my insecurities and got my shit together, so to speak.
There's no need to ignore him. Reconnect, get back in contact, that doesn't mean you'll instantly be in a relationship again.
In fact, it's kinda funny you instantly assumed that his messaging you WAS because he wants to date you again, maybe he was just looking to catch up. Either way, he's not opened with "I want you back", so what's the harm in just conversing with the guy.
If he asks you out again, you can re-evaluate how things feel with him, and whether that's what you want.
No not actually. That would be ideal, even though I'm not sure if I'd go for it. But one reason why I'm hesitating is that I'm afraid that he just wants to mock me or that his phone bugged or that was an accidental message or something. Not likely, but I don't know why I'm having those thoughts.
Maybe you're having those thoughts because you're still kinda insecure?
You literally have nothing to lose if you act with some self-confidence. Respond with something like "Hey! Wasn't expecting to hear from you, how've you been?"
If, for whatever reason he does somehow find a reason to mock you or whatever (which would make no sense), then you just need to stay mature, take the moral high ground, and end contact permanently.