How do I not feel bad about being the one to hit on a guy? I

>>16761529
Don't feel bad, guys like being hit on because it makes us feel good that someone notices us.

>>16761535
The fact that it boosts their ego is not necessairly the good thing for the other person.

>>16761529
What is bad about making your own decisions? This is the best thing.
Tackling the problems directly instead of wishful hoping that they will solve by themself should be praised.

>>16761529
you probably look like you dont put out as well as someone so ugly they're not worth the effort therefore you should suck off a senior citizen in public to display your levels of retardation maybe that way at least the thirsty males of the same unattractive caliber might notice you

Be pragmatic. What do you want? Living in your dreams and lonely, or doing what it takes to achieve happiness? Forget the judgement and think about the future.

>>16761551
It is not about "making my own decision". It is not like I prefer or want to make it- would rather get hit on like most normal, attractive women. It is simply my only option.

>>16761576
But the thing is I did so in the past (more than with just mentioned relationship) and it made me feel only worse and unable to commit.

>>16761555
Dont really understand what you are getting at

>>16761592
When you start doubting it, that's when you should be more pragmatic and open your eyes. Don't judge his attraction according to what happened before your first date and before you knew anything about each other. That's just silly. Judge according to his current behavior. Imagine if a guy broke up with you months after you got together because your first date wasn't perfect. That's dumb.

>>16761651
I am not saying it isnt dumb but it is hard for me not to feel this way.
I guess its maybe too much against what is considered good for women.

>>16761698
Look for men who take life seriously and not a slave to their emotions and you're set. With the average fuccboi conventional wisdom holds.

>>16761712
>Look for men who take life seriously and not a slave to their emotions and you're set.
For me it seems as easy as saying "just look for wife material girls". Its hard to know the difference.
But thanks for advice

Why do you think you don't get hit on though?

If you aren't attractive enough you could try to work on your appearance, maybe lose some weight, get a new haircut, proper make up and new clothes.

If you aren't being hit on because of you don't present yourself, try to change your hobbies or places you hang in to be in places where people usually form relationships like bars or such.

Maybe you do have both of the above but have other things that prevent men from approaching you like warning colors, problem glasses or face that looks up tight or constantly angry.

Maybe you are just socially so clueless you don't realize you are being hit on, though I doubt this is the case.

>>16761720
Not that hard. Wife material girl is the silent girl sitting at the corner who is kind, loving, caring, not a partygirl, has a healthy amount of self respect and confidence and is busy building her life. Husband material is the guy who is confident, intelligent, emotionally strong, has his shit together, is hard working, but doesn't make himself be worshipped, doesn't want to be the most popular and center of attention, isn't s big party goer and just lives his life.

>>16761733
Different things I guess. I am not mind-blowingly attractive but flaws I have are already fixed or nothing you can do about (no high weight or bad clothes). I try to get out, go regulary on parties and actually people do see me as confident and nice.
It just seems like it is not going to happen to me (and isn't happening for years now), for some gesture of fate.

>>16761743
Never met such guy. Its a very nice list but those people aren't common (especially at young adult age range).

>>16761760
That's the ideal list. If someone has the majority of those traits, good marriage is highly likely.

>>16761764
Yeah, i can understanf that

>>16761529
You're overthinking it.

Men and women are not all that different when it comes to this. From the moment you ask someone out you're literally telling him that you're interested in him. If he agrees he's somewhat interested in you. From that point on he will see you from a whole new perspective which often leads to attraction before and after first few dates.

However if you ask a guy out I recommend that you at least leave the next steps to him like hug, holding hands or a kiss. This is one way to test that the attraction is mutual unless you're dealing with a playboy.