How do I not feel bad about being the one to hit on a guy?
I never attract men on sight or get hit on but I am quite confident and have no issue starting a conversation with strangers.
How do I not feel like a failure of a woman because of doing it?
Even if I am successful it makes me feel inferior to all women who dont have to do so and I am doubtful about whenever a guy is actually attracted to me or just goes for the easiest option.
In last relationship, I was the one to hit on the guy and arrange first dates (we known each other but he never was interested before). I felt awful in it and did not trust in his attraction towards me.
you probably look like you dont put out as well as someone so ugly they're not worth the effort therefore you should suck off a senior citizen in public to display your levels of retardation maybe that way at least the thirsty males of the same unattractive caliber might notice you
When you start doubting it, that's when you should be more pragmatic and open your eyes. Don't judge his attraction according to what happened before your first date and before you knew anything about each other. That's just silly. Judge according to his current behavior. Imagine if a guy broke up with you months after you got together because your first date wasn't perfect. That's dumb.
>Look for men who take life seriously and not a slave to their emotions and you're set.
For me it seems as easy as saying "just look for wife material girls". Its hard to know the difference.
But thanks for advice
Why do you think you don't get hit on though?
If you aren't attractive enough you could try to work on your appearance, maybe lose some weight, get a new haircut, proper make up and new clothes.
If you aren't being hit on because of you don't present yourself, try to change your hobbies or places you hang in to be in places where people usually form relationships like bars or such.
Maybe you do have both of the above but have other things that prevent men from approaching you like warning colors, problem glasses or face that looks up tight or constantly angry.
Maybe you are just socially so clueless you don't realize you are being hit on, though I doubt this is the case.
Not that hard. Wife material girl is the silent girl sitting at the corner who is kind, loving, caring, not a partygirl, has a healthy amount of self respect and confidence and is busy building her life. Husband material is the guy who is confident, intelligent, emotionally strong, has his shit together, is hard working, but doesn't make himself be worshipped, doesn't want to be the most popular and center of attention, isn't s big party goer and just lives his life.
Different things I guess. I am not mind-blowingly attractive but flaws I have are already fixed or nothing you can do about (no high weight or bad clothes). I try to get out, go regulary on parties and actually people do see me as confident and nice.
It just seems like it is not going to happen to me (and isn't happening for years now), for some gesture of fate.
You're overthinking it.
Men and women are not all that different when it comes to this. From the moment you ask someone out you're literally telling him that you're interested in him. If he agrees he's somewhat interested in you. From that point on he will see you from a whole new perspective which often leads to attraction before and after first few dates.
However if you ask a guy out I recommend that you at least leave the next steps to him like hug, holding hands or a kiss. This is one way to test that the attraction is mutual unless you're dealing with a playboy.