I have schizophrenia, and I'm getting worse. I've been to the mental hospital 4 times in the past year on the basis of being gravely disabled and a danger to myself.
I go catatonic for long periods of time, and my meds have stopped working. At the hospital they said I was grossly disorganized and severely detached from reality. I could legit barely speak, when I spoke gibberish came out. And I wasn't even off my meds. How do I get better?
Your adjusted meds are probably helping. They don't eliminate symptoms 100 percent. Insight into your condition and the ability to make such a solid post shows that you are doing better than a lot of people diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I have been to the hospital 4 times for something dissociative or psychotic, after being hospitalized 5 times for mood instability as a kid. I feel like I'm always getting worse, but the objective facts don't actually spell it out that way.
Maybe what you're feeling is stress, and a lack of cobtrol of your condition. That's pretty rough shit, one of the last things any of us want to feel.
They do therapy in partial hospitalization programs. The patients can experience real life and yet get intensive treatment all day. Being in a facility 24/7 is actually a liability to your mental health.
Housing programs are the most effective, but there's not enough legislation or money in place for everyone to get that. It is more affordable in the long run, though.
Yeah, I have therapy and it's really helpful. But I'm most concerned about going catatonic again because last time I was catatonic the Ativan they gave me to snap me out of it didn't work. The next morning, I had to psychologically force myself to move like in that scene in Kill Bill where she wakes up from the coma and her legs are atrophied/won't work.
So I'm very scared that I will go catatonic again, the Ativan won't work again, and I'll have to receive electroshock.
Fellow schizo, best wishes to you both...
Feel like I'm getting worse, but like >>16755377 said, it might just feel like it.
I really have it better than most, I mostly have micro-psychotic episodes, but I'm fantasizing about my funeral more and more often... This morning I played a song on spotify, and thought:
"This would be great for my funeral, I should put this on a USB stick and tell someone to play it when I die ."
Spent the rest 30 minutes contemplating what would be the best track. Its weird, cause i have gotten to the point where I know I won't kill myself. Still, I have this feeling my time will soon be up. Always thought I would die at this age, even as a kid oddly enough.
Schizophrenia is a bitch, I mostly suffer from disassociation, depression, and I don't feel hardly anything. I can have strong reactions to things that make me feel something is completely unfair to others, but that's one of the only feelings I can "feel", and I only have faint recollection of what other feelings feel like.
Best luck to you beautiful bastards. I wish you the best
Why the fuck did I even write this, I guess I wanted to tell you op, that I've stabilized a lot over the last years.
I might be a little dead inside, but my voices are gone, hallucinations are rare, and meds are working. Im sure one day, you will look back and even haven forgotten a lot of the bad shit. It took sometime before they found the right drugs for me, but If you don't give up, Im sure you will get lucky too.
Agreed. I assume it was caught early for both of you. There is definitely a spectrum of severity, and it's true that major episodes are traumatizing, whereas life outside of an episode can be okay, especially for someone still making sense and being motivated.
I feel dead inside and dissociated too. I may be somewhat psychotic. That empty/unreal feeling is more predominate and problematic than any bizarre thought. However, it does become easier to deal with. On the plus side, it has allowed me to get worked up less about negative feelings. The dissociation may just be a defense mechanism. Also, schizo diagnosis is not usually as bad as we fear. Even being psychotic is something to adapt to and live regardless of.