How is a man supposed to build up his confidence with women knowing that women have a buffet of guys trying to impress them while he needs to deal with getting rejected again and again.
Always being judged as not being up to par. Like what the fuck.
By remembering that girls have an annoying onslaught of guys just wanting to get into their pants, and they have to always be the bad guy or the cunt by trying to let them down easy but seeing crushing defeat and demoralization in their eyes every time, or sometimes hostility and anger for rejecting them.
Kind of goes both ways. Men and girls have to go through a lot of each other before they find the right person.
This. Try opening up your body to someone having them inside you banging this part of you that makes you lose touch with reality and then they zip up their pants and kick you out they door. Pump and dump as you fsggots say.
You think this shit is not a competition? You are in competition with every other guy trying to get the girl. If you base your confidence off what other people think you won't get very far. It's gotta come from within, you gotta radiate confidence even when you have no business having it.
Try to think of rejection as a learning experience, to logically see what you did "wrong" or what you can do better next time. If you are taking your positive and negative experiences and using it to get and be better you will see improvement (as with anything else in life) and it will become easier for you
It's not supposed to be a competition, it should be trying to find the right person for you because you work well together.
Instead it's just the tall, good looking, fun guys who get all the action. And then the relationship fails because people would prefer to fuck around and waste their time on a honeymoon phase than finding a good partner.
Honestly, rejection hurts like hell and it's often not easy to move on, but it's practically the only thing you can do.
As the guy above me said, learn from it and grow, most people go through it at one point or another, just don't let it break you.
And the girl is not trying to do the same thing? She just has more options than you. If you can't provide what the girl wants, you have no chance of being with that person plain and simple. If I am hungry, and you try to give me a bottle of water, you know what I would say, "I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not thirsty." Does that mean I won't be thirsty sometime in the future, no.
Well what does this mean? What you are able to provide (or what you seem like you can provide, is just not what the girl wants) If she wants someone with blue eyes and is outgoing that's what she wants. Right now, maybe down the line she needs comfortability, security, companionship, but right now that is not the case.
Attractiveness is subjective, depending on the tastes of the person, some things, however are seen as more desirable amongst a larger group of people, that's just how it goes. What you need to do is find someone who likes what youre offering. Don't like the people that are attracted to what you are offering? Then yo need to offer people more value.
Pull your shit together. I'm a 6/10 and I've been fucking legit 9/10 girls my entire adult life. I've had 36 partners and regret none. I've been in a relationship for 4 years, and apparently I'm concidered desireable by women who know me. My big secret? I enjoy the company of others.
>If she wants someone with blue eyes and is outgoing that's what she wants. Right now, maybe down the line she needs comfortability, security, companionship, but right now that is not the case.
I never understood this perspective. Maybe I missed a phase in my life or something, but my general requirements for a relationship havent fundamentally changed.
This idea that every decent woman is being approached constantly is a myth.
You'll actually stand out more if you do approach her.
GO to soc and look at all the completely normal looking even handsome guys in their mid-20s who've never kissed a girl; now find a girl who hasn't taken miles of dick by that age. Even fat girls still get hot guys you see it every day.
OP I'm right there myself. Basically both improve yourself and lower your standards. You'll feel better about yourself as you start working out and dressing better and pursuing hobbies. Example: spend all day researching/reading/teaching yourself something, surely there's a subject you want to learn more about, a work of fiction you wanted to read but never did, a language (human or computer) you wanted to learn or maybe you want to make something, write, paint, make candles or tie-dye clothes or fix your bike it doesn't matter. It's the act of doing something productive instead of porn, anime, and 4chan that makes you feel better about yourself. You go to sleep thinking "I did something" instead of "I wasted another day", even if socially nothing's changed and you didn't leave the house you still accomplished something and feel a bit better.
There is no magic word to bestow you "confidence" and asking girls is dumb because they don't understand it they just want a tall charismatic guy, you can still learn to love yourself and find a cute if plain girl. YOu're not ever going to get some 12/10 porn star so just drop that expectation entirely, yeah of course you want the volleyball players with long blond hair and a huge ass but you're not hot enough yourself for that.
Who do you want to be?
Well, work on that.
The only reason you aren't is because you're scared of failure. But you can't really fail because you're the one making the rules of what you want to be in the first place, if you waste a week or a month it doesn't matter because when you wake up tomorrow you've just been granted your ninety-ninth chance, you have all the time in the world.
How is a man supposed to me a "good catch" if by his very nature he has a line of replacements waiting outside the door?
By the make sure of it wouldn't the woman always be your social superior since she's doing you a favor?
I can understand you. That's one of my fears, that to every girl I am actually replaceable and that the moment I fail in something I'll be abandoned.
I actually have the same issue with friendship and jobs. The truth that's an issue within yourself more that something outside.
Yes, it sucks to be rejected. I don't know, maybe it can help the fact that the same way you can be replaceable, they can be too as the world if full of girls to pursue. And as >>16753987 says lowering your standards will help too as that increases your dating pool.
I don't know dude. It's hard to not let it crush you, I admit. Try to meet more bros to hang out with. I've known one of those Dark Triad personalities for a couple years now (type of guy who is like crack to women, has women texting him up the ass). You learn a lot by seeing how they react to women. And it's not like you have to be a different person but there's so many subtleties to how you express yourself, and your opinions, your body language that once you find a default rhythm with interacting people, you'll want to join that buffet like everyone else, join as many as you can. Perfect that rhythm.