I'm pretty sure that I got friendzoned hard on a date tonight and I only realized it after I got home.
This woman I am absolutely in love with told me that she is attracted to me but she likes our friendship too much to take it any further. I told her that nothing has to change, that we can still have fun together but also be in a relationship and she just clammed up for the remaining ten minutes of the ride home.
On my way home I felt good about it, like we had made progress towards being together, but now I'm realizing that she was flat out telling me that it is not going to happen.
Was this as bad as I think it was?
I should say that
>she likes our friendship too much to take it any further
is my interpretation. Her actual words were "I'm confused about where we go from here... I like our friendship."
I don't know what it could be, I own my house and my cars and I have a good career. She is physically attracted to me, the reason why we went on a date in the first place is that we expressed a mutual attraction.
Her freezing up on me has me really confused. I don't know if I said something during dinner that offended her or what..
there simply isn't enough information given to say whether or not it was bad.
was she aware this was a date?
how long have you known each other?
what was the "i like our friendship" thing prefaced by?
in the end, it is of no use to ponder over the reason. something you are, did or stand for made her decide that a realtionship isn't what she wants with you. it could have been that it is an abviouis thing, but as it osunds, it must be more subtle and ther's no way we will find out. something just wasn't compatible. take it as a dodged bullet cause along the way this "soemthing" would have caused a lot of troubles in a relationship. find a girl that suits you better. i know it's not easy but it's the only way
>was she aware this was a date?
Yep. I asked her if she wanted to go on a date, she said yes, we went to dinner.
>how long have you known each other?
About three years. We were only casual acquaintances until six months ago.
>what was the "i like our friendship" thing prefaced by?
I asked whether she wanted to try us being together.
then you tried and she rejected the offer, so you did all you could do. if you don't want to be in the friendzone with someone who doesn't want to be anything but friends with you then don't fucking be friends with them. if you're ok with being friendzoned by someone you're in love with then that's up to you.
don't really know what you mean by "bad" but it seems like a pretty clear situation to me.
you see, it might have been a single remark. maybe you said something about abortion and she once had one.so she decided that she could never be absolutely honest with you. who knows. as an example.
good. just apprecciate it if she gives you a honest answer and don't hold it against her (like that one dude that asked why and got told that the girl isn't atraccted to black people). it might be something hurtfull.
OP surround yourself in girls that aren't her.
Eventually you'll start wondering if you have a chance with any of those girls, and then you might get closer with them... you'll be too busy thinkin' about them and how not to fuck up with them to think about her.
Eventually, you'll forget all about her and fall for another girl.
Then rinse and repeat, never making a move on anyone ever because you're a beta, just like me and a thousand other robots and men.
We can't stop our feelings but we can stop our actions. When we learn our place, we know it's a waste of time to try,and we never get rejected.
Just move from girl to girl using them emotionally till you can't get any more out of them.
Much better that way.
I'm not sure. I was thinking something like "I was thinking about last night and I wanted to ask why you decided that it would be better for us to remain friends. I thought we really clicked the couple times we went out for coffee so dinner last night was really confusing for me."
>we can still have fun together but also be in a relationship
>but also be in a relationship
she probably felt suffocated by your need to be in a relationship from the start, and she was right
next time you date a woman never talk about relationships, past or future, or anything you have planned for her for the future
Don't do this. Her answer will be wrong and if you take it to heart, it will just make things worse for you.
Attraction is subconscious and emotional. She'll give you a rationalization which won't actually be connected to what actually subconsciously triggers her to find men attractive.
>Obsessing over 1 girl
The fact that you're so concerned about this one girl is betraying what probably turned her off: you're needy, and it's probably bubbling up to the surface of your personality in a lot of different ways.
Girls want to get fucked by men who lead other men and who other girls want to fuck. Those guys aren't needy.
I would start by forgetting about this girl, and instead spending your energy on finding other girls to date. The way to lose your neediness is to date lots of girls and realize that if some don't return your affection, that's okay, there are more out there.
I talked to her and she said that she doesn't see it working out because her and my ex work in the same unit and she doesn't want her work life to become hell due to bitchy nurses.
She said she does like me enough to want to be with me so we made another date for next week. I'm feeling pretty good, /adv/.