It's possible because people have the capacity to stop filling their thoughts with fictions and falsehoods. It's a really straightforward process when you're honest with yourself. Should you date someone who offered you none of the things you want? Well no girl is going to date you under those circumstances either. Should you date someone whose looks don't arouse you? Well no girl is going to date an uggo either.
I understand the claim that people shouldn't change for the sake of impressing others, and that's true. Let's be real though: if women didn't exist, you'd still have the opportunity to do good things for your own sake. It turns out that becoming that sort of person is incredibly admirable. You'll still get to enjoy all of those good qualities for yourself and the affection of women as well.
Don't be shit. It's really that simple. I don't mean being good at games either. I mean legitimately being an amazing human being. Hercules, God-king, world famous mother fucker. At least that's what you aim for. It's clearly possible to land a girlfriend with far less but that would fall squarely into being a certain guy in order to impress certain people. The only legitimate route is the one with awesomeness.
>>16745545 what exactly do you want a gf for? Do you have the spare money to take her out? wouldn't you rather spend that money in other stuff? Do you have your own place where to take her to fuck? are you specting taking her to your parents house like a total loser? Do you have a nice vehicle to use it to take her places? Do you want to be worried all the time that the girl you 'love' might just jump to the dick of the first Chad that cross her path?
gfs are a waste of time and money. The only upside is the sex but for experience I can tell you masturbation is just as good.
>>16745578 Turns out that women are from this planet. It also turns out that they're just stupid humans with the same dumb shit that guys have except they have tits and a vag. Stop treating them differently and you'll see.
>>16745585 >it should happen naturally. It's literally impossible for people who developed normal social skill during youth to realise how important that was and what's it like to miss on it. When you're socially retarded, there's no such thing as "happening naturally". People with bad social skill can't make friend naturally and they can't find a girlfriend naturally. It's not natural for them, it only happens through massive effort.
>>16745545 It just sort of happens, really. The problem is you think too much about it. Concentrate on leading a good, fun life being yourself and when you least know it there'll be some girl out there that shows interest.
>>16745545 5' manlet, 21, don't work, failing at university, talk to noone monthly but her and my parents, parents are not that well off (might have to quit univ for money reasons). And I have a girlfriend.
>>16745683 Looks don't matter much to me I'll admit. She's fat. Her ass is wide (which is good!) but not "long" enough. Asymmetric boobs, one is a bit small. (the boob asymmetry is not that bad, but it's unfortunate one is small) She's tall for an asian female which is unfortunate. She's asian. (which I love because asians are so fucking rare around here) Her face is very symmetry and has some not so good features sometimes but sometimes her face looks like 7.9/10. Her eyes are beautiful, so is her hair. Her voice is cute as hell (9/10? 9.9/10?), and her face is cute too.
>>16745708 This. After my ex destroyed me emotionally I started going to strippers just so I could feel the closeness of a woman again. They learned what I liked and give me the "intimate" experience where they hold me close, grind on me, etc. I'm so fucking pathetic... Damn you Laura.
The intimacy of a relationship is what makes it amazing. Being connected to someone on a level far beyond just sex and friendship is an amazing feeling. Feeling appreciated and cared for because of who you are and not just what you can do is the greatest feeling in the planet, and unless you're a psychopath, you will always desire it.
OP, what you need to do is become the best version of yourself that can exist. Constantly improve your life and your future. Have long term goals. Become the man you would want your children to be. Women are naturally drawn to that. Not because they "hurr durr you have money give me that dick" but because they feel safe and protected by you. They feel that no matter what happens, you'll have their backs, and they will do whatever they can to make you feel the same.
Actually I'm going on the 5th year of being with the world's greatest gf. But relationships won't do shit for you unless you love yourself. All that intimacy you value will turn into pain and loss of you ever get dumped. That's why it's important to put yourself first and create your own happiness- not rely on another person to do it for you.
>>16745762 No shit Sherlock. That's what I'm telling him. But don't say that you don't think that you don't love your girlfriend of five years and that she doesn't love you back. That "temporary love" is the honeymoon phase of dating. You gotta be dating for several years so you can weed all that out.
Yeah I love her and she loves me, but you know what- love is easy. All it takes is sitting around and tolerating someone for a long ass time.
Making your goals happen and finding value in yourself- that shit is the real challenge. Even if you know that, a lot of rom-com dumbass dudes don't know it. Guys like OP, crying every night for a female. If he doesn't turn this boat around, he's going to cry with or without a gf for the rest of his life.
>>16745731 I like she's asian because it's rare, makes it more interesting and she knows an interesting language. But I find white girls more attractive.
Also you just said I'm only with her because I'm a weeb that fetishes asians. How do you know that that's true? Did I say it was? Why would you assume that. You're a fucking idiot. I date any race if I was into them. And depending your definition I have a fetish for white girls too even though I'm white. I'm a weeb though, I'll take it. And you're an idiot.
>>16745762 Hey uh fuck you douche. I hope you get your soul eviscerated by some girl and then you will know these feelings. It was great walking in on your long time girlfriend fucking your lifelong best friend. Then, both of them shit talked me like they had been holding it in for years. In one fell swoop I lost the love of my life and my best friend. Theyre getting married in a few months. They cruelly sent me an invitation to their wedding.
I know it's easy for you tough guy 4channers to pretend that shit like this wouldn't affect you but we all know you're full of shit. So fuck you. Oh, my dad died a few months after this all went down. How I managed to not kill myself is a fucking miracle.
>>16745950 Lol you'll never know this pain, faggot. It's easy to talk.
>>16745965 Are you responding to some tripfag? I probably filtered them. It's OK, they can talk as much shit as they'd like. Tripfags come and go on this board. They aren't special and they're all the same.
>>16746044 Yes but be warned they aren't better than "skinny" girls because of their weight. I have met my fair share of overweight girls who still get snobby about height and other things (just to dispell the myth that chubby girls are "easy" - they aren't).
im about to hit 2 weeks in my new job as a steward in a hotel, the very first day i saw this girl and shes really cute short hair somehow i cant get her out of my mind
Very quickly my mind is like "Why she gonna look at me? im not handsome and im just a steward she haves more a better bf options than me and chances are she is already in a relationship most cute/hot girls always have bf" i cant stop this feeling of inferiority and it crush me very bad
the 1 week no real interaction with her, i just managed to get along with my steward coworkers but just that.
the 2 week i managed to get actual interaction with her she came asking if i can clean some cookware for her (thats my job so i cant say no) im like yeah and i cleaned it and i call her by her name "you shit is clean" she comes with a face like "how the fuck he knows my name" [everyone have ID things in the chest so yeah] she ask for my name before she leaves and thats it, next day the same thing but she comes saying my name like "is that you name right?" and im like "yeah" and from that point i started to have more small mini chats with her
Today i manage to get a okay conversation with her and no just "i said something when i pass by" i asked for her age and she is one year younger than me and yeah the more interaction i have with her the more im like "shit i want her more" and she seems to be cool like she talks to me like a normal person despite the fact im a steward so thats good so far
I dont have autism in fact im getting along well with the rest of the kitchen some guys told me if i wanted food just ask so thats working well
i was thinking to work hardcore in myself get out of the steward position into something better and hit the gym get that sexy body just getting better myself so i can be a better option to the grills in general.
When I turned 27 I decided to make a change. I had been single for three or four consecutive years and wanted to change that. So I started working on myself. I dropped 30 pounds of fat, gained some muscle. I speak two foreign languages fluently, lived in Europe for two and a half years. Have a college degree. I threw out my old clothes and bought an all new designer wardrobe. I started paying for my haircuts. I already made more than the median household income. That's pretty fucking good for a single guy in his mid twenties. This should be no problem.
Go on OKCupid. After 6 months I got a date. She seemed interesting enough, her job was shit, her looks were passable, she seemed genuinely interested in a second date. Cancels 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet. We set up a new date. Cancels that one too. I contact her again and she says, "I'm getting kind of a friend vibe from this." Jesus, act like an adult and just say no.
Another 6 months, I get another date. I show her profile to a female friend of mine. Here's what she said verbatim, "If she were a guy, nobody would even talk to her." 24 years old, no job, no degree, not in college, no plans for a job or college, no car, lives with parents.
I go on the date. She can't talk about anything except her past relationships and brings up several times that her ex was abusive. Second date: coffee breathe, still boring as fuck, won't shut up about ex. Not bringing anything to the table here. Third date we fuck. She can't get me off.
She can't get me off.
She can't get me off.
I tell her I'm not interested and she blows up at me about pump and dump and how awful men are.
Women have expectations so wildly out of line that it's impossible. Everyone tells guys who struggle with dating to take an honest self assessment. But nobody is telling women to fix their shit and be something more than "guys wanna fuck me".
>>16746346 Nah man people tell women this all the time and they don't listen.
But they don't want to hear it. I've had my attempts at bringing self awareness to women here, be met with some of the most extreme levels of vitriol, denial and rationalizing ever. Always with the damn rationalizing "its my body/nobody can tell me my standards are too high or that I make bad decisions ever"
>>16745832 They're hobbies, but they're not hobbies you can do with your girlfriend. Aside from watching movies, but nobody wants to watch 2 or 3 movies in a row, or all day. You need more. Some ideas - going to bars, concerts, events. Cooking great food (panty dropper if you're good at it because guys are stereotypically not good cooks and traditional gender role is that the woman cooks). Hiking/chilling in nature/on the beach. Making music (not always great, but can work). There's so many things, but you can't read with your girlfriend, or learn languages with her, or program with her (and don't even suggest pair programming, you fucking aspie)
>>16745731 >fuck off, youre too much of a child to be in a relationship having someone who loves you, not feeling lonely anymore, cuddling, etc having someone to love, her not feeling lonely anymore, cuddling, etc
>>16745796 >Making your goals happen and finding value in yourself- that shit is the real challenge Aren't you missing the point. There are people in this thread who have all that worked out, but to them finding love is the real challenge.
This whole thread is just couples being angry at singles for finding something difficult that came easy to them.
>>16745572 Not OP, I get what you're saying, but this kind of thing just makes me feel like garbage.
I try so hard. I work out three days a week. I do well in school. I've been told I'm funny and handsome and all-around wonderful.
All I can figure is that everyone must be lying to me. It's like some Emperor's New Clothes scenario. I think I'm not shit and everyone else seems to agree, so why are things so shitty? Am I just destined to be garbage? To live and die alone, being no one's first choice, no one's dream-come-true?
>>16747383 There's a difference between flattery and genuine admiration. The former is socially sanctioned lying. Yes, everyone is lying to you.
There's no predestination that I know about. You're obviously not on the same trajectory as royalty but being someone's dream come true is relative to that someone's station in life. You'll never wow a princess but you might just impress a girl on the street.
It takes courage and intelligence to look at yourself in the mirror and ask whether you're really someone special. I assume you're smart enough to know what that means. What's left to work on is the feeling. You are not doing things as perfectly as you know how to do them. None of us are. But you can get closer to it than most other people. You can get to that point and then find out for yourself if the exhaustion is worth it.
I threw out perfectly good dessert tonight because I caught myself slipping again. I know I can do better, so I will do better. I'll do as good as I know how to do in every single thing I can. It's not that I hate myself. It's that I love being proud of myself. The rewards follow naturally.
>>16745832 Judging by your hobbies, you sound like an introverted person. Same here. I recommend meetup.com, and joining a couple of the social groups near you of people your age. Gives you an excuse to meet and talk to random strangers. Good practice.
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