How do you go about accepting that the kind of pure genuine romantic love that you see in movies doesn't really exist?
I can't think of any way to go about it without turning escapist or bitter.
I feel like you're being too hard on yourself.
How old are you? How many relationships have you been in?
I think everyone has felt that way at one point or the other. You can either keep trying to find someone you are compatible with, or become /r9k/ tier crazy. Honestly, take care of yourself first. Love will come after that.
The kind of love you are looking for will only be possible once you are happy on your own. This sounds clichée, but i'm speaking from experience. You can't possibly 1. Attract somebody that is able to give love like this and 2. Can't possibly give love lile this untill you reach that point.
Keep working on yourself. Especially the personality part. One day you will get into the "true love" territory inevitably. Some reach that level at a very young age. Others take their time. Still some never get there at all. But now that you know you can savely assume that you will get there one day. Just keep improving.
You're 22. You're still super young. How can you already come to the conclusion that you are unlovable?
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. Had a bunch of relationships that failed, and I felt unlovable. I met my wife when I was 27 and discovered that pure genuine romantic love. It's possible. Don't just give up on yourself.
Breath in, breath out...have sex don't sweat it out.
stop being cringy as fuck.
You need professional help if you can't define 'relationship'
So even if it was serious but I kind of hated my partner the whole time, it doesn't count?
What does it take to be happy?
>I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21
Well I've been chasing people since I was 14 and lost it at 18 and I've fallen in love with people and people have fallen in love with me. Unfortunately the people I love think I'm gross and people who fall for me are disgusting.
Well I kind of lived with a dude for two years but I was never attracted to him in any fathomable way. Imagine having a dog that always kind of wants to fuck you.
>Unfortunately the people I love think I'm gross and people who fall for me are disgusting.
Again, why are you throwing in the towel so young just because of a few failed relationship attempts?
>Well I kind of lived with a dude for two years but I was never attracted to him in any fathomable way. Imagine having a dog that always kind of wants to fuck you.
You have two options, try or don't. One is more fun and will teach you stuff.
because he/she is a faggot.
>Because 5-8 isn't "a few".
Yes it is. You're not going to be long term compatible with everyone. That's what dating is for, to get to know someone well enough to see if you'll work out long term. A lot of times it just won't work.
Tried four relationships that ranged from meh to lasting emotional damage. By that point I'd pretty much called it quits on relationships or finding love. Then I met a guy who I'd originally intended to just be a FWB. We kissed for the first time and some part of me kind of got the sense that this wasn't going to stay as FWB. Eventually he asked to be exclusive, and I said yes and actually meant it for once.
It's been over 5 years since and I'd say love exists
> I hate sex
congratulations you hate one of the most basic human functions and one that makes us unique as a species because of the way we think of it.
You don't go on a fuck spree dumbass,you go out and have standards and 'have fun', if you can't or aren't able to do that you will have a hard time finding someone that actually takes iinterest in you.
>what does it take to be happy?
Whoa, you come here with quiet the questions anon.
In my case, i needed to go to therapy. I needed to go trough my "life so far" and do a lot of understanding and forgiving. Then i had to work on the present. You know, the things they allways tell you. Take care of yourself, work on your relationships with family and friends, find a job you like going to, and so on. However, this will only work after you have gone trough phase one. Else it will just be like trying to cover up bad acne with makeup.
The next step would then be the fine-tuning. Things like working on your soft skills, your selfesteem, finding freetime activities that help you unwind whilst honing your "uniqueness". Love is something that requires another human being that's willing to let you in that deeply. If you aren't GENUINELY and to the bone somebody that has a hearth full of love, nobody will want to open up that much. And that love can't just be directed at a few selected people that you happen to consider quiet neat. It needs to be way bigger
Where else do you meet guys? There isn't even a gay bar anywhere near here.
And what if I can't afford therapy?
I've had people fall in love with me. Just the ugly, creepy ones, though. The kind of faces you don't want to kiss for free.
first off, checked.
> Where else do you meet guys? There isn't even a gay bar anywhere near here.
approach? or die lonely?
> I've had people fall in love with me. Just the ugly, creepy ones, though. The kind of faces you don't want to kiss for free.
I'm gay. Meeting dudes in a church might sound like a super hilarious idea but I don't want to get killed.
No, I'm dead serious. How am I supposed to meet a guy if I don't meet guys?
I'm not going to find a dude to marry from a church. And I'm not one of those people who can always tell if someone's gay, I've literally guessed wrong 100% of the times I've tried.
I've had like two guys have a crush on me and a third one fall stupidly head over heels. all unattractive, unfortunate-faced guys you don't really want to sit in the same room with.
I don't know if they just think they have a chance since I'm as ugly as they are or whether the simple act of being interested in me automatically makes someone repulsive. It just happens.
I'm not gay, but i'm willing to be opening to the idea of marrying you if you strike a good argument.
Go ahead, convince me. (it has to be compelling again, i'm not gay, and it would be pretty tough to become gay for you, but again i'm open)
>need to find guys
>no way to find guys except grindr
>only ugly guys are interested
>if you ask a guy on a date, he will fuck you
>if you don't want to fuck a dude, you don't go out with one
I'm not seeing where you fail to see the logic.
You can't convince people into changing sexual orientation. I can make nice girls like me but I can't make nice guys like me, that alone should be enough of a compelling argument to switch sides.
too bad it doesn't fucking work like that.
>I'm not seeing where you fail to see the logic.
>grindr or nothing
This is where people fail to see the "logic." Grindr or eternal loneliness are not the only options. It may be what you're most comfortable with currently, but it it by far not the only option.
You know what? OP obviously wants to be miserable. You can't change his mind.
OP, you're right. You can't be loved. Good luck with getting fucked in the ass by ugly dudes for the rest of your life.
>Meeting them literally anywhere else.
You don't just walk up to a dude and gamble that he's gay. You get killed doing that.
How hard is it to get an american citizenship?
>How do I accept that I, specifically and in particular, am unlovable?
By changing the things that make you unlovable, so that the statement is no longer true (if it ever even was, which is somewhat doubtful). People tell tou to "be yourself" assuming that you've already BUILT yourself, which isn't aleays the case. For all I know, it moght not be in yours.
>You don't just walk up to a dude and gamble that he's gay. You get killed doing that.
And a straight person doesn't just walk up to a girl and ask her if she wants sum fuk. Talk to people. Expand your social circles.
>And a straight person doesn't just walk up to a girl and ask her if she wants sum fuk
Yes they do. My female friends complain about them doing that all the time. It never works, apparently, but they 100% absolutely do that.
How many friends do I gotta get before one of them is gay and actually nice?
How do you even make people want to be your friend?