I have a massive crush on one of my coworkers, which fucking sucks. I don't want this, at all. I've had the perfect boyfriend for four years now and this has never happened to me before. It's not even like I would choose my coworker over my boyfriend in any circumstance, I mean they're both nice and cool enough dudes but my boyfriend is perfect for me. It's just that with me working full time hours and only being able to see my boyfriend on sporadic days off, I see my coworker more than my boyfriend... I almost want to walk up to him at work and tell him I have a crush and demand that he reject me in the cruelest way possible so I can get over it. My boyfriend would be fucking destroyed if he ever knew about this. Why am I such a goddamn terrible person?
I wish I had somewhere to horde like when I was young. It was so relaxing picking through garbage to subsist on. I've considered going back to college for a degree in waste management, but I think being around hundreds of thousands of tons of garbage a day could be extremely dangerous.
I had sex with a girl that didn't know I was married. She now feels used and abused since I told her the truth. She says that me telling the truth is just for making myself feel better, and that now she is stuck with the feelings of being used. I never wanted this to happen, I never stopped to think about her feelings AFTER I told her. I'm so fucking stupid, I fucked up in more ways than I can imagine.
Is there ANYTHING I can say to this girl to make her feel better? Is there a remote chance that she'll forgive me and learn to live with this?
I don't only need to get this off my chest but I need some HARD ADVICE. Please help me.
i have a really bad porn addiction and it is killing my abilitgy to interact with women sometimes i am sitting in front of my computer screen and i just have these urges that pop into my head from all the porn on here on /fit/ on /v/ and on everywhere else i visit its like i cant escape it, ive grown so many fetishes from these images that i can see them in the back of my eyelids when i shut them and i just cant fucking get their thoughts out of my head they haunt me like ghosts of my mind crawling in my skull i swear to god im going to go insane because
I've just completely lost all sense of connection with women. I really have. I come home, I look at porn, I masturbate for HOURS. Literally HOURS. And I do this consecutively, DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY of UNREALISTIC FETISH porn, and I just can't GET IT OUT of my HEAD. I feel like my sanity is just UNRAVELING and it claws at me in the night, it STEALS the virility I should be having for my wife or for my girlfriend AND INSTEAD I focus all of this FUCKING ENERGY I have on this NEED this PRIMAL urge to FUCK and it just turns into MASTURBATION.
So there I AM, MY FUCKING HEAD JUST WORKING FOR HOURS ON THESE FUCKING FANTASIES AND THESE IMAGES OF GIRLS THESE BEAUTFIUL GIRLS IN THESE DECADENT CLOTHES
MY GODS. the IMAGES are just so VIVID and PERFECT. How can a woman compare? So UGLY and IMPERFECT, I hate their IMPERFECTIONS, and it makes me so FUCKING nervous, I don't know what the FUCK TO DO when I'm AROUND THEM. I SWEAR TO GOD. I don't even have the energy to be attracted to them!
SOMETIMES I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND I JUST FEEL LIKE GETTING OUT OF BED AND FLIPPING OPEN MY LAPTOP AND JUST JERKING MY COCK FOR
Sometimes ill be sitting there and I'll get done after my second or third orgasm, and I'll be extremely sweaty and tired, and my day will have gone by. And I'll wonder why I don't have a girlfriend. And then I'll delete all my pics, delete my history, delete everything, I'll tell myself I'll get better, I'll tell myself ill throw my computer out, do a restart, yeah man, im going to turn my life around.
But I never do it. I never do it. I never do it. I never do it. I never ever do it. If I did that, what would I do? What would I do, man? I have all I could ever want. I have all my video games. I have all my porn. Porn is better than women. Porn is perfect. Women aren't.
>>16736168 You are right. I regret it now because I lied to a fantastic young woman who deserves to know. I don't feel bad for doing this to my wife. I'm horrible, I know this. I can't change that fact. I'm just hoping I can make her feel better.
I did tell her to make myself feel better, but not to make her feel like shit. There was no way around this.
I'm giving her time and space now. I just hope she can find it in her hearth to live with herself.
Fuck my family, they have never tought about me before doing something that changes my life completely, they all care about themselves, and when I finally come to their minds is alredy too fucking late to not fuck my life. I'm leaving all of you when I have the chance and if I can I'll even leave this shitty country. You don't care about me, fine. I'm leaving and forgetting all of you assholes, and when you try to look for me (because I know you will) it'll be too fucking late.
it's funny how someone can speak to me a certain way and be offended when I reply with the same fucking attitude they just gave me. we're equals. you're not above me in any way, so why act like it? stop being a hypocrite man.
I'm scared of life beyond college. I'm in my 5th year here (I chose a major with a 5-6 year track) but I haven't landed any internships or jobs. I'm afraid of interacting with people, of climbing a corporate ladder. Of moving far away from home.
I'm just disgusted at myself. I wish I was stronger and brave. I wish I wasn't so depressed about all this. I am heading back to school tomorrow. And I honestly am not that all excited for it. I like being at home. I was almost like a NEET. But I don't want to let my dad and mom down. I need to take care of them but I am so lazy and dumb.
I hope sexbots become an advanced and accepted thing, because the sort of relationship I'd actually feel comfortable with isn't something I'd feel comfortable with making a girl do.
I mean, I'm fat, I'm barely making ends meet, I have a bunch of interests she'd probably be embarrassed by, and I'm a pushover at work. It's tedious to go out and meet people anyway, and loud noises or dancing just make me shrivel up and lock up. And all I fantasize about is sadistic things, forcing a girl to take me as I am, fat and smelly, and treat her in ways I'm not really that comfortable talking about.
I think subjecting a girl to a guy with zero confidence, zero socially acceptable things going, and is stuck in a shitty job with only the potential of prospects elsewhere, isn't fair to her. That's not a relationship that offers her anything to do. So here's hoping sexbots or VR shit becomes a reality, because as much I want to come home to a busty little morsel who's made me a big dinner and wants a lot of kinky sex, I don't think I deserve it.
I really, really like you but I keep acting like the opposite. I don't have the balls to be even remotely friendly to you let alone tell you how I really feel. You're the only reason I wake up at 5 in the morning and go to work. I've never felt this interested in another person before in a very, very long time and I'm very confused.
I'm a failure at life and now I'm just procrastinating and avoiding everything rather than trying again because I don't think I'm ever going to succeed. I'm in limbo and I'll probably live out a pathetic existence in limbo until I die. I'll never have actual goals or an actual life. I'll never feel actual enjoyment and fulfillment from something. I'll never feel like I know who I truly am and what my emotions truly are because I don't even really feel emotions other than fear and self loathing anymore.
It's amazing though, when you have a child, and she's barely 3, and she's spinning around and dancing happily trying to sing a song she doesn't know the words to, you feel something like a spark, like you're witnessing the purity of life manifested in a twirling bundle of curiosity.
Sex itself isn't evil, though if you were to believe the old testament it's a necessary action to make up for our corruption and loss immortality. When you say sex is evil perhaps you're just venting your frustrations at the drama associated with trying to ensure your survival and comfort. This drama exists because people need to make sure that they and their potential offspring are looked after and don't die.
It's neat to think about though, what evil is, what human nature is, or what nature itself is.
When you said "figure it out yourself" so much shit that I've been holding down just came bubbling back up and now I'm so angry and sad I don't know what to do with myself. I'm living here with you, because I love you, but the truth is that it's also making me hate myself. It's a trade-off, but I can't help but wonder if soon I won't have anything left to trade because it's been too long. I hate depending on you for everything. I hate that the best I can do is keep the house clean and I can't even do that right. I can't buy you a birthday gift. I can't plan surprises for you, I can't meet you at a nice restaurant. You have to take me everywhere. I can't do anything by myself and I've been feeling like a waste of space.
Last night I thought about everything and I genuinely wished I could make some deal with a devil to make it so that I never existed. Everyone would be better off.
My mother could look at my brother without knowing he's a child molester.
My dad wouldn't remember that he had a daughter that ran away from home at 18 without telling me even though he's my hero. His heart wouldn't be so broken.
You wouldn't remember that you had a wife who's done nothing but struggle and fail for four years since I moved here. I'm sorry I'm so stupid, so forgetful. I'm sorry I'm so weak. I'm sorry I let myself break your heart. I am actually afraid I'm too damaged and broken and I'll never make you happy. I'll never make anyone happy.
This is the worst I've ever been, and when I told you that I was depressed it just turned into some argument about me not appreciating everything you do for me. Of course I do, that's WHY i'm depressed. How did you come to that conclusion? And every time I try to tell you you just think I'm pitying myself. I don't want to kill myself, because it would just cause more damage to you, but fuck... I wish I was never born.
My wife is controlling, has anger issues, and is physically and emotionally abusive . I can't leave because we have a 6 year old together and I can't do that to him. Sometimes I fantasize about killing myself, more often I think about killing her. I secretly hope she would just get sick and die.
I have never tried hard at anything in my entire life, my own ego fuels a sense of perfectionism I don't feel I can live up to, this has entirely killed any interest I've ever had.
I will try something out, put up a retardedly high expectation of it, not reach it, put it down and then never pick it back up. Instead I just end up browsing youtube/4chan/tumblr. I'm also unsocial to the point where I can hardly stand being around other people for more than a few minutes without feeling tired and extremely annoyed. Was tested for autism/aspergers etc. early and came out negative.
>>16736133 It is very common to develope feelings for the people you work with. It doesn't make you terrible at all. My wife left me for sone one she works with and is miserable now. As long as you know better than to do anything more than have conflicting feelings, you will be fine.
>>16736133 You think that's bad, my wife's sister moved in with us and I've developed a massive crush on her. I don't want it either and I wish it would just go away. I love my wife so much but I just want to be with her sister. And not even sexually. If her sister came on to me and nobody else could know, I wouldn't do it but I want it so bad.
>>16737241 I didn't want to mention it, but he's not even actually mine. I stepped in when he was about one. If I break it off he won't have a whole family anymore and she would never let me see him again even though he loves me and I'm the only father he knows. Everything is peachy keen when I can keep her happy. But if I make her mad unless I can talk her down she gets crazy. And it doesn't help that on top of it I'm a robot that can't even process my own feelings much less make her feel better when she needs it.
You're selfish and emotionally immature. I usually carry the conversation and you hardly try unless you want to complain about something. I do a bunch of shit to try and keep you happy but when I needed you to console me you had to one up me and complain about how sad and pathetic you are, you threw a fucking pity party when I was in tears and needed you to step up and be a decent human being. I feel obligated to talk to you and resent you because no matter what I do you will always need to be reassured, you will always turn everything into being about you and you have zero self awareness.
tfw you realize that the only reason you liked talking to a person was because of your infatuation and vague hope of a relationship, and now that the infatuation is gone, you realize you two really have nothing in common anymore and all that you feel towards them is a feeling of mild contempt, awkwardness, and indifference towards their problems
It's amazing how this board and these threads resemble retellings of the princess and the pea. Soft people so used to their own comforts and privilege, that they have to clutch at straws just to experience misery and then have the gall to try and convince other people that the problem they have isn't actually some sort of petty grievance but some sort of widespread global catastrophe.
Stacy doesn't like me, Chad used me, clearly this isn't about me, but about how women are like this, or how men are like that, but don't look at me like your typical whiner, I'm concerned about overpopulation in India.
Really transparent and a pretty poor attempt to save face there.
>>16736103 i live a very quiet, sheltered life alone, 3 nights of work and 4.5 days off. I speak to no-one irl and see no-one irl as i work and live alone, but i have maybe 5 good online friends who i speak to and play games with on occasion. I've known one of them for a while and we've helped each other out a lot. he lives within 30 miles of me, has very similar interests and such and i really really have come to like him a lot, but i don't know what way he swings. i'm almost certain he's into dick but i feel it's more of a crippling futarnari fetish than being bi... i'm scared and i don't know what to do.
I hate myself /adv/ I'm shy I'm lonely I'm mean I have no real hobbies besides guitar I'm a mediocre guitar player at best I'm lazy I'm weak I'm getting fat I'm constantly scared of the future and social interaction I exist to be the butt of everyone's jokes I can't figure out why I exist if I'm not good at anything and I hate it. I want it to end, but I can't build up the courage and determination to kill myself
>>16737324 Been there. Chances are if you like each other online you'll gel irl. Go for beers, break down the walls a bit and relax. Don't matter if he likes dick, what's the worst that's gonna happen? Inb4 aids.
>>16737340 true, you're right. i can organise a meet and go for there. i think just being alone so long kind of makes you crave that stage beyond close frindship even with someone who it may be silly with, haha. thanks for the help friend, if it does happen to go further then awesome, if it doesn't then at least we'll have a good time and be great friends and even closer! thanks again!
Broke down yesterday in front of a girl I really like and a girl I'm about to break up with. I was really mad at myself to begin with but they pushed me over the edge. I was just mad at myself before breaking down and crying. My gf left eventually for class and the other girl stayed. She prayed for me. God helped her and she thinks he can help me, and I'm hopeful. I don't want to go to a psychiatrist and only feel happy because of medication.
To add to this, I really like this girl, but she thinks friendships are more stable than relationships and I'm scared that if I ask her out I'll just be rejected. I'm not sure what to do
Youngest child in a fucked up family and I'm about to lose my mind. Today was supposed to be a day to myself. Scheduled to go get my hair trimmed, get new clothes, go turn in some applications/send out resumes and get lunch with a friend.
I'm stuck driving my licence-less older brother and sister around AGAIN. Now I had to cancel my hair appointment, lunch and other errands because I have to go pick up my sister's kid, drop my brother off, pick my sister up from a job interview, etc. etc. and hope my parents or brother's friend will supply him with a ride back. I guarantee I will not get any gas money since my siblings spend it on themselves and my parents don't care.
My brother is too much of a coward to go take his license exam and always comes up with excuses. Last time I literally tried to drag him out of his room and he tried to start a fight with me. My sister's license is revoked due to her being a dumbass. My parents try to help but since I'm not employed (still paying bills, insurance and 'rent' unlike my siblings) they pawn off all this on me.
I'm about to go insane. I have to basically schedule my days around my siblings and my niece. I swear to god I'm going to take any job that comes up just so I have a concrete excuse not to deal with any of this.
I just left my girlfriend of 8 months because I couldn't handle the commitment. The hardest thing is telling a girl that you're not meant to be together, when there is nothing wrong with her, it was all me with my fear of the future and investing into a relationship.... I feel like I'm retard
Im scared af, My school psychologist said that she considers me an interesting person and that she really would like to see whats inside my head and why do I act like... like I act. She invited me to her cabinet tomorrow. Im scared that she will get to know me
You're twenty-three years old. You were raised in a healthy middle-class suburban community. You're in college now and have an internship. And yet, despite all these things, YOU CAN BARELY READ. I can point to any word that consists of more than five letters and you won't be able to pronounce it. I've asked if you have dyslexia or something and you claim you don't, you're just terrible at reading.
"What's this word?" "Ummm....." "Take your time." *Fifteen seconds later* "...Ladder?" "Leader. Okay. How about this one?" *Twenty seconds later* "A liar?" "Allegiance. Let's try one more. Say this one." "....I don't fucking know!" "University."
I left my job and I've been sitting home for about 3 months. I wake up, I sit on the PC, I eat something, I go to the store to get some food, I sit on the PC and then I go to sleep. That's what I do all day every day. Life is so fucking pointless and stupid. I don't even know why I am not just killing myself. Eventually I'll have to find a job, and that's going to be worse. On top of being bored out of my mind with no interest in anything I'll also be forced to work for 8 hours. I wish a meteoroid would strike Earth and put us out of our misery. Our lives are so meaningless. All you can do is distract yourself with things until you die. Life is too long.
Sorry if I'm shy and have nothing to talk about at times, just be patient with me and we can learn a lot from each other. Fun times. I'm just so used to having to watch what I say around people that I've been conditioned to mentally filter what I'm About to say.
>>16736103 Listening to old kanye west music makes me motivated to write more, and thats what im doing before exam week so ive went into schizoid mode and now im playing this antisocial hard worker character because i might be a narcissist
>>16737251 We try to change our outlook to "I'm just some bloke, I'm me but I'm not that special" and instead of reaching for things you can't hope to reach at your current you try to reach just the next step on the ladder towards it, it's the small victories. Every once in a while try to reach far, if it's a loss "Well I'm just some bloke".
Mostly it's about changing your own view of yourself from egocentric to more accepting of your own flaws and the flaws of others.
At college and I feel like an outsider and a loser. I have few friends here and all my real and close friends are at home. I often feel sad and alone. I want a girlfriend more than anything and whenever I see couples walking around campus it makes me feel like shit.
Same boat, but hitting almost a year unemployed. Basically got burnt out after seven years of working, dropped out of college early on and last year I just left my job with nothing lined up. I was just fed the fuck up with life and thought about suicide. Had to move back with my family and it feels terrible at my older age (28).
Maybe try to get active or straighten out your schedule. I'm doing that and it's kinda helping my bleak outlook. Getting a job and working will suck, but maybe set goals for yourself or try all kinds of hobbies. I'm only going to work so I can buy more art supplies and travel.
I miss you sometimes. Then i either tell myself to man up and go do something else, or masturbate. Both leads to me having a temporary abscence of saudade.
But i do miss you sometimes. I shouldn't. You were too young, too immature, too dumb, we barely dated for one week and a half, and only known each other for 3 months, and only been 1 month and half since i cut all contact.
Yet i think i miss you. I don't know if it's missing, if it's just lust, things i haven't explored that i wanted to. I don't think i should unblock you just to give you a chance to explain yourself on your unresponsable behaviors, and i really think i shouldn't. But part of me wants it, even if nothing would ever come from it, since i'd never take you back. Dating teenagers is a pain, specially fucked up, broken ones like you.This rant does nothing to the burden at all.
While I know enough to tell that your relationship is going to implode without my help, I still feel jealous sometimes. I know I shouldn't. Emotions are such a burden. I'm sorry I made you feel them, too.
I'm inclined to contact you, but it'd hate myself i think. I'd hate everything. You're despicable in your own ingenuous ways. You're gross, you're all that. Fuck you. Fuck you very much. Fuck you for using that rapist to make me jealous. Fuck you for hitting on my friends, you faggot. You made me fucking cross the line and accept a side of me i don't like with that cutesy so called ''trap'' you are. And the worst? You never even noticed your retarded acts. Ever. Ever! You know how ridiculous it feels that a man like me, that over views as such ''man'', such ''example'', such ''james bond'' or whatever, is feeling that way because of a despicable teenager boy? Fuck you, and fuck you again. I refuse to believe i've fallen for you. I don't feel that. I fdeel something i can't explain. You had no damn respect, and i've gave up so much for you. Why the fuck was i so horny? homosexual experience my ass, i don't know what the fuck is up with me. I want to bash you, your fucking uncle, those fucking false friends, everybody. You make me want to go on a rampage on your city everyday, you fucking rapist-enabling broken daddy-issued fucking faggot.
I just want those feelings to stop. Come on, it ain't love, i'm sure of it. It jst feels so empty and hollow. Just fucking stop, please. I don't want to contact him. To unblock, to nothing. This is emasculating as fuck even. Just...
Everybody is fighting, arguing and trying to pull me into their bullshit. It's all at home so I can't fucking escape it. How hard is it to compromise or meet in the middle? You're both not WRONG and have similar goals if you'd just pull your heads out of your asses.
I warned you though, goddammit. I told you this would happen if you let her move back in. Now I'm feeling a knot in my stomach and wishing I had the funds to move out on my own right now.
I'm going to go out with friends and drink tonight. I'll come back, slap my headphones on and zone out. Tomorrow I'm going to go to the park all day and have a blast. Fuck all of this.
There are expenses that I hate, but after being unemployed I've had to live a frugal lifestyle. It made me realize that yes, in the past I wasted money on things that didn't matter and were distractions with zero impact on my happiness. With a tight budget I've found the things I enjoy and will still live frugally, but put money toward these positive pursuits.
I've only traveled a bit before hitting this year of unemployment, but I enjoyed it. Just tuned my car up and hit the road. Found great joy in talking to people, hearing stories and seeing new sights. Art is a pain since you have to buy supplies but I get into a very calm trance while painting. Fuck buying a new TV or video games. I'm slowly figuring out what makes me actually happy.
Just several more months... Just several more months then I'm gone. Thanks a lot for reminding me how unwanted I am and how I'm only attractive to most girls when they're drunk. Fuck small towns, fuck everyone knowing you, fuck feeling so ugly. Just give me my degree and send me the fuck out of here.
Though I'm a good student with a summer placement at a psych ward lines up I feel like a failure because I don't have a job. Without a job I can afford fuck all, no girl will ever want to be with me since I could barely afford to buy them a drink. I've applied for them ofcourse but I either don't get replies or just get rejected. It wouldn't even be so bad if I wouldn't always remember a few months ago when I told my ex that I would get a job so that we could go on holiday together. Come to think of it that's probably why she broke up with me. It's honestly just depressing, I think about how I made that promise and never kept it and how pathetic that is, why did I make it in the first place? Why didn't I keep it?
There are days I want to break up with my girlfriend. I love her, we've constantly discussed marriage, and children and our future. Hell the only reason we aren't engaged right now is cause I'm saving up more for the ring.
My problem is the lack of sex. Something is a bit wrong, to the point where she hasn't been off her period for MONTHS. She's seen doctors, and they just keep trying new medicine, and other stuff, but no fix to the problem, and no actual answer to what it is.
You'd think 'well you'd be blowjobs and handjobs then, until it's all fixed'. Nope. unless i practically beg, I get nothing.
I know, it sounds really shallow, but I do quite a bit for her. I do sometimes think I should get something, without having to beg for it. But nope.
So there are days, where I want to break it off, or sneak around her back, or just yell until she gives in or something.
But I don't. I love her too much to cheat on her. I love her too much to break-up over such a petty reason, and I feel I will never find anyone as great as her again. And I don't lose my temper, because it would hurt me to see her cry so much after i finish venting.
Deep down I know, I need to talk to her about this, to figure something out. I just want to avoid an argument too.
I love how everything I do contradicts my own well being. I love being a neurotic mess, who feels confused about everything in his life all the time. I love that the less I talk to people around me, the more desperate I am for a connection, but the more I talk to people around me, the worse I feel.
Dear clothes clerk lady, I understand that you were just trying to make me feel comfortable to shopping at your store, but asking me if I was shopping because of "senior pictures?" That kind of fucked with my psyche a lot.
I'm 27. I'm really fucking trying to look more mature so I can be taken more seriously and maybe break out of my painfully average looks. I know you didn't mean it in a bad way, but that really fucked with what little self confidence I have. I just want to be looked upon with seriousness and respect by coworkers and by women.
Goddammit, we went from messaging each other almost daily to nothing at all. What fucking happened? You went on going about how you really wanted to see me again and meet up and so the time when I ask you when you're free, you give me nothing?
I'm looking very forward to capping off a few rounds into a cardboard box in the backyard this weekend with my new FULLY AUTOMATIC BB GUN!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!! I'm gonna trick this shit out with a laser sight and extra long clips and a flashlight and a tactical grip and all kinds of shit. Soon as someone tries to break into my home I'm gonna pump their asses full of lead! (or BB's to be precise).
For those of you who think I'm nuts, just look at the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwIRWirABx4
You don't wanna get hit by this shit. It won't be fatal but it will hurt like a motherfucker and odds are you're gonna fucking run for the hills.
I really am going to miss that lifestyle so much but i got totally bored and sick of it. it was fun while it lasted but the commodity is pretty much gone and it isn't like im discovering anything new anymore. i loved 2015
I don't know why you hate me so much. It's me that should hate you. But I don't. I'm tired of feeling bad about you. I get the feeling you make a lot of girls feel bad so I know I'm not the only one. Right now I'm just curious about you. Especially knowing what I do. I'm not trying to hook up with you again. And I know it's highly unlikely we could be friends. I just want to let you know I do care about you. Why I do not know. I think it was something in your eyes I saw once or twice. I can't reconcile that with other things but people are complex.
Politically speaking, my girlfriend is a moron. She wants to vote for Bernie Sanders.
Today I told I voted for Trump and she honest to god freaked because she thought she missed the opportunity to vote. I've been slowly destroying her love of Bernie Sanders and I've come to realize from being around her so much, that she simply isn't informed in any manner of politics or world issues past your average skimming of Facebook.
It's hard to have any sort of political discussion with her because she simply doesn't know anything I ask her way she believes what she does and I get "I dunno I just feel like X because feelings" and it becomes a lecture.
All of her political stand points are paper thin copy pasted headlines I've read on facebook.
She is five years younger than me, and I'm just kind of hoping this is a phase for her as it was for me.
>Friend with girl for a few years >Literally the only girl in 5 years that I didn't think was a vapid idiot >Catch feelings about a year ago >Think she's really innocent and pure but she hooked up with guys on OKC >They use her for sex but she still pines for them >Ask her out anyways and get rejected >She says she wants to still be friends and hopes nothing will change >Don't know how to talk to her anymore, nothing comes to mind anymore >She messages me less and less >Don't know if she doesn't want anything to do with me or if she thinks I don't and wants me to message her >Even if it's the latter, I have nothing to say
Guess it doesn't matter, not like she's into a guy like me anyways.
Well, tomorrow I try and get put back on antidepressants and anxiety meds. Which means I'm going to have to cut back on drinking a lot due to alcohol counteracting antidepressants. Going to spend more time focusing on school and at least getting my money's worth. I might as well get my shit together now because not doing so isn't me getting anywhere. The hardest part is going to be keeping at this, because I've failed to so many times before. I don't have much motivation and ambition to stick with bettering myself, and I don't discipline myself as much as I should. And when the going gets tough, I give up and end up where I'm at now. But I need to do this and make something of myself to not only make my parents proud, but make myself proud. Because I'm not proud of who I am now.
I feel worthless because two nights ago, I called out to my friends for help. I was contemplating an-hero'ing and needed someone to talk me out of it. I didn't bother with the hotline because I wasn't sure if I was actually wanting to off myself, or if I was just clouded judgement that I often get when I'm this down.
No one replied to my request for aid. I guarantee though, that if I were to off myself then everyone would post about how they MISS me or how much they LOVED me... But be damned if they do it now.
It's been that way all my life, I'm afraid. I'm liked, but not enough to jump through hoops for. I was cut out of my group-senior photo, out of the group prom photo.. No one cared to ask how I was doing, they just left me alone because all I was to them, was a fucking fly speck.
At my graduation, no one clapped but my parents.. but other students? ROARING applause.
I'm 31 now.
And I hate my friends.
I'd get new ones, but who's to say that they won't treat me the same?
Dreamed about you, saw a car that looked like yours today, saw a girl that looked like you today, and now Facebook's "On This Day" shows that you posted on my wall. I hope this means you're thinking about me, or maybe with me today. Had the shittiest dream I was overdosing on heroin the other night. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, Alex. I wish you were still here. <3
fuck you, man. You say you wanna be exclusive yet keep talking about other girls and how hot they are, fucking liking half-naked pictures on Instagram for a living. Fuck you, guess what, I sucked the dick of that dude you hate. Not out of spite but because we've been going strong as friends with benefits for the past year, oh and I sent nudes to him the other night. You want to tell me I'm flat chested and consider a boob job? That's cool, I'm going off to get extremely drunk with my friend tomorrow, and yeah even though he's a bro to me and we both don't wanna bang, I'm gonna imply we are to you. Fuck you, fuck you AND FUCK YOU. First time in two years I was gonna keep myself to just you, but hey, for someone who describes himself as a 'nice guy,' you can go fuck yourself. I'm gonna become king of the cocks and fucking destroy your heart, fucking virgin faggot lmao.
It all starttes this afternoon when, strolling up the corridor, some douchecake gives me this "tch, look at this chump" sort of look. Of course as he swaggers away, I stop and stare at the back if his head for a good 10 seconds before the guy starts to turn around and I say "what're you looking at, fuckface?". (I shoulda kicked himin the knee or clothelined him tho). After a minute of continuing on my way, I say to myself " fuck it" and do a complete 360, speedwalking straight back down the tunnels just itching to catch up to buddy
As I pass into the building, who is it that walks past? My petite qt scotch crush, chatting with some girl. Qt wore this pained expression on her face: as if she were trying very hard to ignore my glance lest she become upset...since I'd inadvertently snubbed/rejected her the last time (when I was, similarly, talking with a friend while walking down the hall elsewhere on campus -- shorty was just gazing at me in wondeefor 10 seconds straight, making me feel all shy and bashful).
Now, I just zipped on by, on a mission to hunt down my new foe (which didn't happen). Only later i realized how much I might've hurt this young lady :(
Just felt like shit for the rest of the day...even ended up skipping class to visit my dealer, burning with angst and self-irritation the whole time.
What an unbelievable moron I am. ... Silver lining is, I kinda acknowledged another Melissa fumero-esque qt while booking it out of the uni. Even if while I was quite upset
My ex contacted me, she wants to meet up. When I broke up with her more than a year ago, i did so because i was frustrated with her, and with myself. Couple of months later i did regret the breakup, i calledmher up to ask her what she thunks about giving it another chance, she said she doesnt see the point. A few weeks ago, i talked to her again, she said she had a boyfriend so i dropped the topic. Now she reached out to me, said she broke up with her bf, and if i want to, we could meet up. the thing is, im glad that we can meet, but i dont want to hurt her again, and im affraid that if we get back together, chances are i will do so...(i tend to stop feeling for others from one moment to the other, seemingly without any reason...)
Anyway, i will probably risk it, other way ill never know Thanks for listening
I'm a psychology major close to graduation, and while I'm proud of myself for sticking with my commitment to find what makes me happy even at the expense of earning potential, I'm scared I'll fall short.
Sometimes I regret not being born with a passion for engineering.
I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Leaving you was easier than being gone. I wish you'd just send me a message and ask me to come over. I want what we had at the start.
The girl at work I have a massive crush on but works in a different department told me I should come along to her leaving drinks. I was the only one she asked from outside of her department. I hope maybe her and I can get closer at her leaving do because if I could sleep with her my life would be complete and I could die happy.
I'm going back home. I made my choice last year when we had that fight. I'm not doing what I want here with you, and I can't see any way to do what I want here because we're so isolated. I also need to be around other people and to feel like I can actually hang out with them without being anxious that you'd get jealous or pissed off at me because I'm not with you/want to be with you at that moment. And I don't want you to come back with me. I need to start giving a shit about myself.
I'm obsessed with one of my best friend's girlfriend. i lost control and her and I fucked once, a drunk fling a few years ago, and I haven't been able to stop comparing my gf to her since. All I can think about is dumping my girlfriend and figuring out a way to steal her, but my friend and his gf both have established careers and I've been unemployed for months. She'd never leave him for me. So now I just creep her on social media and occasionally bang my 5/10 gf. Feels bad.
My boyfriend has been a real piece of work lately. He put his laptop in a situation where it would get fried and was upset at me over it, keeps putting on shows only he wants to watch and forcing me to do stuff he wants to do, and he has hardly kissed me in like 2 months. I was frustrated today because I kiss him all over all the time and ask him to kiss me too and he always says his breath is bad and he is embarrassed or "too tired" to kiss me, or other odd excuses and I tell him I don't care about his breath or how he smells or tastes or anything and that it doesn't change anything. I lick him even when he is sweaty and salty, kiss him even when his breath really is bad, scratch his back when he asks even though there is dead skin and acne all over it, etc and never even mention it or care at all. I know he is human and will have things like that and I like him with it all. He said today though that he hasn't been kissing me because my breath is bad and he hasn't wanted to, and on top of this he has said and done a lot of kind of rude things lately so I got mad. I told him he doesn't even kiss my neck or cheek or legs or anything at all and didn't even just have to kiss my lips so that must not be it, and I don't mention or care when his breath is bad or he is sweaty and tastes or smells funny, or how I blow him all the time anyways even though his peen has a really sour smell and tastes a bit and I even get an aftertaste in my mouth, I had never complained about it though and would just blow and blow for extended periods of time and was never like "ehh I won't suck you or let you fuck me, your penis smells sour" I just accepted it and would ignore it because I still like blowing him and making him feel good and it would be very rude to withold sex or bjs just because of a smell he might not be able to fix. He won't even kiss me after eating mints and shit so it must be something more. He has been so selfish and kind of rude lately that I had to get testy.
I think I might be pregnant from when the condom broke, and i can't afford to have a baby and I'm not mentally healthy enough to be pregnant. I will have to get an abortion and I'm scared. I took three tests and they all came out negative but my period isn't here and it might be too early for the tests to pick it up. I'm so angry because I had to be taken off BC for a blood clot and now this is happening. I have a long term, stable relationship but I'm only 19. I'm so scared.
>>16740749 I do have major anxiety and panic disorder. I get in my head a lot. I just don't want to have to go through this. If I'm pregnant I want to find out ASAP so I can have an abortion before it actually starts to form. I don't think I could go through with it if I waited too long.
I'm sad because I've only seen my girlfriend for 2 days in the past 12 weeks, but two of her immediate family members have cancer, one terminal, and she also has her job to deal with. I want to tell her how I feel but I don't want to be a whining needy bastard. I'm sure she misses me too but.. ugh.
>>16739955 >I know that feel >Its their loss, anon Nothing against you Mr God... I appreciate the response but I have heard 'its their loss" so many times it just does not mean anything to me anymore, because in reality it changes nothing.
I'm not sure if i've reached to the conclusion that i have feelings for you. My heart is so confused right now. I am getting irritated on Aleanna because she's so dumb in terms of feelings. I've lost respect for her.
WHY DO I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU? I AM SO CONFUSED. WHY. WHY.
IT'S ALL COMING BACK. PLEASE. I DON'T WANT TO BE HURT AGAIN.
I really love you. I don't even want to think about life without you. In the future, I hope we will get old together and live a happy life. We've had our hard times, but those will never wither away my feelings for you.
I'm forever yours. I know you hate ''corny'' stuff like this, so these words will stay here.
I'm gonna move out in just two days. I am nervous as fuck. At least I have my relatives living in the city where I am moving into. Being able to spend time with my cousins more regularly is a plus, though it does little alleviate my nervousness about living on my own there.
>>16739248 Ultimately everyone who ever lived will be forgotten, so don't bother worrying about that. Everything you can imagine will cease to exist at some point. You have a limited time of existence so don't waste it worrying about your silly ego disappearing.
>>16740690 I was in exact same boat as you, just a few months ago. We had been dating for 2 years and the last year of us being together, she had not once initiated any affection at all. I worshipped and kissed every part of her body but she just acted annoyed. She stopped joking with me and putting effort into going out unless it was with her friends. Empty kissing, cuddling, and sex really destroyed the sentimentality of the relationship. Wish there were more people like you, Anonette.
I'm really scared of committing "emotional infidelity." I don't have many female friends and every time I become friends with a guy who shows me any attention that could be read as flirtatious, I become attached to him.
I would never physically cheat on my boyfriend but I think my issues are putting a strain on our relationship. (We've been together two years.)
Hmm what do i say i missed you i really did however i thought i had gotten over you after not seeing or talking to you for a few months i guess i was wrong saw you today you looked amazing beautiful but we didnt speak and you treated me a sort of mild neglect... it tore me apart i really wanted you to like say hi or you know be friendly towards me... like everyone else.. im not sure if youre neglecting me because you feel something towards me or because you just resent me for some odd reason idk but its getting to me.. i wish you would stop with the games i might just go up to you tomorrow and ask if you have any feelings towards me..
I have immense trouble focusing, while I really need to work. And at the end of the day, I'm tired as shit, while I did nothing, in essence, except be a piece of shit on the internet. I don't do my homework, I don't cook, I don't clean, I just sit around in a perpetual state of stress. Fucking hell, this sucks. And the more I do nothing, the less time I have, the more I get stressed, and the less incentive I feel to work. It's a vicious circle that makes me hate improving myself or putting any effort into anything, because my mind tells me there's no benefit.
I kind of blame the internet. Trawling 4chan and Leddit for threads to read, for shit to have bad internet arguments about, it makes me feel good. I think it's arousal addiction.
I'm a yes man. I make too many commitments. In every area of life, I take initiative and receive responsibilities I regret taking on. From university to work to hobby groups, people expect me to run the show, and I oblige. I have a friend with Asberger's syndrome. He is very, very lonely and could count his friends on one hand. I feel so sorry for him, and wish I could spend more time with him, for every time I hang out with him, he can't stop beaming with gratitude and happiness. We agree on that date weeks in advance so that I can find time for him. He writes the date in his calendar and counts down to that day because it's his favorite day of the month. I'm one of very few people who care about him, but I care about so many other things that I hardly have time to see him once a month. It's unfair that he's so lonely, and I feel guilty for not doing more for him. And I hate it, because it feels like I'm doing the best I can.
I have given up on women Fuck relationships, fuck the drama, fuck needing to reject girls cause I don't like them, fuck trying to be nice and polite, fuck everyone. Trying to take other people to account before ones own needs and being rational about things only drains my energy and makes me more anxious. All I need in life is a job to keep my busy for most of the day, some sort of hobby I'm passionate about and my family around me.
I am so glad my ex-fiancee is now married to a girl who's less attractive than me, hopefully less intelligent too. I am also happy that I didn't give away my virginity to him. I wish we'll meet again and show him how happy I am not being married to him. I mean look at him, he's crippled, and he finished the relationship, and his current wife has so much make up that her hands are darker than her face
Damn. So last night this is so crazy but I this guy I met told me he was looking up criminal files and he looked you up and yours was SEALED. Yeah. He's not the first who told me he didn't trust you. So don't get all high and mighty with me babe. Oh, and he told me you're a prostitute. Fuck you.
I'm sorry. That part of my life was a hard situation where I had no choice and I owed a lot of money to very bad bikers. I had no choice and the pay was intensely steep what I charged. But I was fed every night as I made pizza at 350 for 20 minutes. I hope you understand how fucked my situations were. Don't worry I was safe thru protection. I hope my slutty past and nature doesn't skew what you see in me
>>16741297 WHAAAT? Look man. We all whores. Hell I was a wife for 10 years. Same deal. I'd be your friend. I would. You are hardcore man lol. What I don't like is when I cried and you yelled at me for crying then pushed me out the door and locked it. Fuck
got a new job last year after 11 years at a dead-end job. A literal dead-end. as in my boss refused to promote me because i was that fucking valuable in my position, meaning no raises because of pay cap. the new job resulted in me losing 50 lbs, and i grew out my beard because i couldn't at my last job and wanted to see what would happen with it. the end result is i have more women now after me than i know what to do with (previous job women wouldn't even give me a second look), my neighbor is having an affair with me, and a woman at work ASKED ME out without me needing to do any work or heavy lifting at all.
so, after a decade of being a fat, unhappy slob, i finally cleaned up and jesus fuck, the results are better than i could have ever anticipated.
I don't know how to deal with the fact that my ex is getting regularly fucked by guys now. He had some past trauma and he froze up when I playfully grabbed his ass once. Now suddenly he's okay with taking a whole dick.
It feels like those 2 years we spent together meant nothing, like I wasted my time because maybe he liked men this whole while. It confuses me because he did everything he could and put my happiness above anyone else. He even tried to get a better job so we'd be more comfortable in the future. Called me his wife. Cuddled me when I wanted it. Invited me out with his friends. Never wanted me to be alone. Was worried about me talking to guys but trusted me. Took me to see fireworks even though he hated them.
Did he really love me? I'm in a good place, with a new person that I love. I just wonder sometimes.
>>16741443 These so called "Stacy" are better for relationships because they have more experience than your typical virgin girl who gets infatuated with any male attention and virgins have to always explore if your dick game isn't down.
That was the most eloquent way to drive the stake in I've ever read; good fucking luck finding yourself in this podunk college town. Im so tired of being left behind, it's so hard to pull yourself up when you have nothing to hold onto.
>>16736103 I have anxieties (namely social) ruining every aspect of my life, im about to turn 23 and have never had a job in my life, i was home schooled so i have pretty much never had a friend, never been in a relationship, literally have no experience with the outside world at all and hate every minute of my existance, and worst part of all is my family still loves me and lets me sit around being a loser mooching off them without saying a thing, I want to kill myself but i cant bring myself to do it because it would i know it would cause untold levels of misery to my familly.
>>16736103 heres my story and i really need some advice what the fuck im supposed to do.
>started college and moved to another state last year >decided to broke up with gf >had sex few times after >now 7 months after our last session she tells me shes pregnant >im in college and i dont want the child >too late for abortion help me. what the fuck im supposed to do.
>>16742215 Push her down a flight of stairs? If you live in the UK you don't have to take legal responsibility for the kid if you don't have your name on its birth certificate or something. Otherwise my apologies for your situation, men have really shitty birth rights unfortunately. Is there a chance she's lying?
>>16742215 What a shit show. I'd say she's more responsible for it than you are, because she chose not to get an abortion. However, you do share some of the burden. If you can't talk it out then the law should be on your side, though, hopefully it doesn't come to that. Why did she want to keep it anyways ?
>>16742265 Well if revenge to her is having to care and clothe your child then she has a perverted definition of revenge; and if she tells you it's not your business then what is the problem, unless you'd like to become involved? She's manipulating you either way, of course, but that's just women. Tell me, what would the ideal outcome of this scenario be for you?
>>16742265 She's kind of a cunt then. Well I think the first thing you need to do is find out if she's fucking with you or not. If she is pregnant, then you're going to have to figure out if you want to help raise the kid or not, as well as your legal rights. Don't let her bully you into anything. Try to remain calm and don't do anything drastic. Be as rational as possible nothing impulsive, or else you'll be digging yourself further into the hole.
I have no clue what to do. For the past months I've been wanting to go to another school, but lately everybody is telling me to stay. I don't want to leave my best friend.. I hate decisions. I don't want to regret the choice that I made..
theres this chick i work with, its pretty fucking clear shes into me, but im leaning more towards something casual like fuck buddies and from what shes told me is something she might be down for but at the same time i kinda feel like shit for having the urge to use her just for sex, and i dont know i just feel cold and distant towards people i know but how i interact with them is the complete opposite and ive felt this way since i was with my ex of 2 plus years but the thing is i know this will tear her up if she finds out i just might use her but i dont feel guilty about it and i fucking hate it can someone give me some advice on what i should do?
My ex is fucking someone else right now probably, your pictures on facebook make me sick. I need to move on but I just can't get it out of my head. I need to find something new quick and get over this shit, but it would help if girls weren't so fucking shitty and entitled. I had a good thing and I fucked it up, she was sweet, she fucked like a champion, she was amazing...I just don't want to be the villain anymore... I'm tired of feeling like a fucking monster for what I did...I'm sorry
>>16742874 If she says she can do casual then you have to take her at her word. Make sure she means it and use protection but don't start second guessing the inside of other people's heads. That way lies starting your own thread on /adv/
>>16743109 I'm about to hop back on them after several years off, after being on them for nearly 10 years. Depression can never go away, as much as you want it to.
Yes, antidepressants can kill your libido. Yes, you may feel like a zombie. But you have to take into consideration: would you rather have those things happen or the constant feeling like jumping off a cliff?
I want to die. I'm at my lowest of lows and I just want to sleep forever.
I'm no longer welcome at my bf's because last night we got drunk and I forgot how quickly/how much I actually get drunk to the point of throwing up. The worst part is that when I'm sick I have panic attacks and literally think I'm dying. So apparently I was freaking the fuck out all night while being sick.
I don't even fucking remember any of it though, and woke up to my bf's mum telling me that I'm no longer welcome there, and that she never wants me in that house again.
On top of that, my own parents hate me and I'm in shit at home with no forseeable way of fixing that drama.
I've missed 3 days at the clinic after promising them that I'd be in every day for a whole week, but of course I fucked that up too. And yesterday I missed my psych appointment, it was going to be a really intense session though, so at least I have another week to ~mentally prepare~, aka over think it and freak myself out.
Now I get to be on a bus for an hour with a killer hangover, just to go to an appointment where I'll be reminded of what a useless pathetic member of society I am.
Then I get to call the cops and arrange an appointment so I can go over my statement before going to court in like 3 weeks, where I'll most likely be testifying against the cunt who still gives me fucking nightmares.
I also need to see my gp at some point so he can increase my new meds, doubt they'll actually work though. Funnily enough, they're the same meds my bf was on a couple of months ago.
What the fuck am I even doing? I have no fucking idea what's going on anymore. I'm exhausted and I don't deserve the air I breathe. I'm a disappointment and a worthless failure. I'm a piece of shit and I want to die.
I just want to be okay. I just want everything to be okay.
My boyfriend is a mess. He starves himself and constantly thinks about killing himself. We're in a long distance relationship right now. I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried to help and nothing I do works claiming he doesn't want or need help. I loved him the way he was before but if he doesn't change back I think I might end it. I want spend the rest of my life with the person I fell in love with but now that he's taken this turn I feel like there's no way that can happen due to colleges and his current financial state, etc...
Goddammit I just want to know if things are alright. I want to make sure I haven't done anything to ruin our friendship. You mean the world to me, and I don't want to see you fall into the wrong crowd. I want to pull you into the tightest hug and tell you that everything is going to be alright. I want to be there so you have someone to cry on, someone to support you. Even if you don't love me as much as I love you, I want to at least continue being your best friend, because you're still mine. I love you so much, and I want you to be alright. I want to be there for you.
I couldn't tell if you were inviting me to that Explosions in the Sky concert or what. You didn't explicitly ask me so I just assumed you were mentioning it because we both like them? Regardless of your intentions... I'd love to go with you but then I don't. I don't want to get closer to you because I know I'll fall in love if I get too close. I don't want these one-sided feelings.
I am 21 years old and feel like I'll never make it in life. I am currently going to university just so I can tell my dad I'm doing SOMETHING, but he's not satisfied and I know I won't do this much longer. The fact that I have huge problems of getting a job because of whatever fucked up reason (once started crying in a job interview) isn't helping. I am so scared of the future and I am scared of the day my dad's patience will end. Also I want to live with my gf but she has even worse perspectives in life than me (she has depression and anxiety since she's like 12 and she dropped out of high school) and we'll never be able to earn enough money to live together. I feel like we're two weak people and I have to be the strong one but I just can't anymore. I can't. I feel broken.
I hate seeing that you've viewed my message/snapchat/whatever but don't reply. You do it a lot, but at least you always come back around and message me eventually, even if it's the next morning and show me that you really do love me. But still that shit is hella painful to know that you had time to to look but not reply.
>21 >find out about 'the four seasons- december 1963 >don't listen to lyrics, just to sound >come on eileen was my favourite song >this sounds the same, but is even better >after a year of achievements i finally get to speak to girls apart from same courses/work >long for grillfriend, life would be 10/10. life is sunny atm >9/10 girl: "you're pretty cute" >she looks genuinely cute, and talks in the way that makes my heart drop >spaghetti starts falling out of my jeans >won't elaborate, but just frozeish
>come home >listen to december again >interpret lyrics >this song is about me, just i'm in the 'seemed so wrong' phase
I'm terrified to get intimate with girls. I'm rather open and talkative besides that, I'm just terrified. I literally know what to do and I want to be friendly to them, at least talk I just don't know..
>>16743144 I just got home and re-read the note my bf left next to me in bed this morning, before realising that he'd actually packed up ALL the clothes I'd left at his. Even though I'd purposefully left those clothes there before (and in one of his drawers) so I wouldn't always have to pack a bag if I was staying over.
But he packed all of it up.
It doesn't even matter now anyway because I'm not allowed to step foot in his house ever again. But what the fuck. It was nice of him to pack up what I'd taken over when I first got there a few days ago, but why ALL of my clothes?
He didn't even sleep in the bed with me last night because I was apparently sick and 'sweaty' so he 'wanted to give me some space' by sleeping out on the fucking lounge.
I'm so fucking confused and upset now. The last few days were actually nice, I thought everything was fucking okay again. Obvs not.
As if he isn't fucking leaving me the first chance he gets. I knew this was coming but it doesn't fucking hurt any less.
Got my meds today! Start counseling Tuesday. Doctor was fucking gorgeous and staring hard at my penis for a good 7 seconds. Probably meant nothing, but I definitely felt some kind of chemistry, then again I'm socially retarded. And to top it off, the day I start my road to recovery and bettering myself is the day I find out I might be getting kicked out of my school program several months from graduating. Welp, see ya!
My self esteem is so low that if I have someone not look at me like I'm the good for nothing piece of complete garbage I am I'll get overattached. And I know the person is just being nice, but I'm also really lonely and that starved for any ammount of attention/affection.
When we had sex today it didn't just feel like sex, it felt like we were making love. It felt so intimate with you, it just felt so amazing and right and perfect. I'm so sad that I can't hold you and have this feeling all the time. I wish we could still be together...I'm so sorry I hurt you. I hope you felt the same connection I felt today...maybe one day our love can be revived
I'm in a relationship of three years, and I have feelings for another woman. My girlfriend knows about the feelings I had, but chose to stay with me anyway.
She thinks I got over it. I didn't. I still think of the other woman frequently. I always wonder if I made the right choice.
The other was ideal for me. She was everything I had been looking for when I instead found the less-than-ideal woman that I became familiar with and grew to love over time.
My girlfriend is so sweet, and innocent, and fragile, though, that I could never bring myself to leave her. It would destroy her, she'd never recover. I just can't do it.
Sometimes I think I might not love her anymore. It varies from day to day. I don't know what it even feels like to fall out of love. Even if I don't love her anymore, we have commitments to each other, and a life we've built together, and years of history that we both cherish, and neither of us can drop the hammer.
Maybe I'm just romanticizing relationships, but the maybe two weeks I thought I had a girlfriend one time, I felt far more motivated with my life to do better for her.
I exercised, I studied harder, I wanted to be a better person to make her happy.
Then I found out I was just some fling cheat for a long distance BF and we broke up and all the motivation crumbled.
I feel like, all the things I want to improve with my life in theory I'd be more motivated to do if I had a significant other who genuinely liked me for me, but getting that person requires being motivated through all those things. A 'perfect catch'-22 if you will.
Though sometimes I wonder if I'm just the sort of person that sort of great partner would never even want to consider. As in internally I'm too messed up, that I need to impress others to do anything with my life rather than do something for me.
>>16744548 just do some bedroom talking with her, don't spring it on her around the dinner table but maybe when you've gone to bed in the darkness its easier to be a bit open. start by asking her if she has any fantasies, make the conversation the mood.
I hope you or your child perish in delivery. I want vengeance for how you made me suffer for so long, I thought I was rid of you but you blunt forced your way back into my life. You've doomed an innocent kid to a shit life because you can't take care of yourself. I will not help you. I don't want to be in your universe. I have to run again, I thought I was safe here but having to relocate again is something I can handle. I will not harm anybody but I will wish awful things along the way of my exit. I want to be safe again.
I played with my band a month ago and I saw this cute girl staring across the hall, I didn't have the guts to talk to her so I looked over Facebook for the event and added her.
A month passed by and I didn't talked to her at all. 3 weeks ago I came across her on a metal show, we stared at each other several minutes, until her boyfriend arrived. I messaged her on Facebook to tell her that she somehow looked familiar, that's how we started talking to each other. Through out that week we talked a lot and we decided to go out on Sunday. Everything was great, she smelled really good, I dressed up a bit classy because we went to a restaurant, she suddenly grabbed my hand and then we kissed. We talked, laugh and cuddle a lot until I took back to the subway station.
This week we barely had contact, I messaged her twice this week, I didn't want to message her more because I didn't want her to feel pressured, I invited her to go out on Saturday, but she said that she was going to check if she was available.
I've been single for 2 years, since my 8 year gf dumped me, through out this last 2 years I've been going out with different girls and had fucked most of them. This time I wanted to do things right, earn my way to bed with her, cuddle, go out, have fun, talk, waste my mobile minutes with her, ask her if she's been doing fine at work, you know, all that corny thing. I know that the fact that she has a boyfriend is the reason for why she just turned out all serious after our date, I know that I might have not been what she expected, I know that there are a million other answers, but the one that puzzles me the most is, am I the one who is not really worth it?
>>16736103 I'm a vengeful man. I will hold a grudge for however long it takes, and when the time comes, i'll get back at people. I play dirty, if you lost my trust and hurt my pride, i'm willing to prettend everything's okay and when you're weakest i'm gonna stab you in the back.
I really dont know what I should do next, like always. I make so much progress and know that I worked so much on me but at the same time I know that this all will literally take no end. Today is a sad day for me
My mother makes me feel like an awful person and I can't take it anymore. Ever since I felt depressed in High School and had a suicidal breakdown she has treated me like I could blow up at any minute. I feel stifled emotionally and am scared of pursuing relationships with others. I feel like her emotional sponge and she uses my past depression as a means of controlling my emotions. She tells me every day she worries about me, she doesn't trust me, she thinks I will kill myself. I hate her and I want to run away but I have no job or means of supporting myself. I feel ashamed of myself for being so weak; I don't think I'll get very far in the future because of her.
I've always thought that people were always good in some way; that deep down, beneath the weathered exterior and shitty life experience there would always be a person that deserved some degree of understanding.
Five years ago I met with someone that was such a blindingly angry person that I had blamed myself for the way they acted. I couldn't understand why they were so hostile, so bitter. These thoughts plagued me for a long time.
Today I talked with that person again. He acted much in the same way as he did when I first met him but within five minutes of our conversation I had an epiphany: some people are simply cunts.
I'm trying to find the reason why I feel like shit over all of this. I really shouldn't, nor should I miss the guy Do I want to get back together with him despite being the one that ended it? I don't know, but I do know that while I miss him I probably couldn't look at him the same way after his /v/ antics since the breakup. Sure he did it before we got together, but the fact he immediately went back to doing the same thing when I ended it just shows. Not to mention his living circumstances, if I wasn't okay with how he'd confide in his ex and tell everyone what his ex would sometimes do before, I'm not going to be okay with that anytime in the future.
So why do I even care if I can only come up with all the reasons why we wouldn't work? I can't even fault him for those reasons entirely, I can only really fault myself since I'm the one that can't get past those issues. I'm not content with being a distraction for people anymore, so I think I'm done with the whole concept as soon as I can numb myself to this
I want to be an all around better person. Lose more weight than I already have. Im so afraid to love, and when it's close to coming out it gets buried by crazy negative circumstances (ie: feelings brewing with someone already in a relationship) I just want to experience life at its fullest, I want to fall in love, I just need to do it.
I'm afraid of sex because Im a virgin in my mid 20's who has been obese his entire life and is afraid he's gonna be fucking awful at it and the embarrassment will further drive me away from ever attaining a relation ship
>>16736103 I was raped for my first time by my gf who was also raped for her first time. I tried to pretend it was okay but it wasnt. I dont appreciate suddenly being mounted when I let my guard down. How could you when we already said we werent going to have sex. I told you it was okay because I didnt want to hurt you. But I feel sick inside.
I'm not gonna tell you how the make your decisions, you're old enough to make them on your own. And you can go out with who ever you damn well please. But I couldn't honestly say I think you getting back with him was a great decision. I know it's not my place so I won't tell you what to do and I won't. And maybe he'll appreciate you this time. I would love that for you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. It could be that I believe too much in the "those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" philosophy. And that I'm always so reluctant to believe that people can change. Maybe worrying about this makes me a bad person. I don't know. I want to tell you to be careful, but I'm worried that it'll make you feel like I don't support you. All I can think of what happened last time when he made you feel like the only girl in the world to him and then his ego the size of a red super giant star, acts like he's so much better than you until one of you break it off. He won't even be in the same room as me after I wouldn't entertain the idea that he's a big shot and told him so. The guy is in his own little world where he's Elvis. Normally that wouldn't bother me, I'd even think it was funny. But when it causes people I care about to get hurt, it becomes an issue. If he'd give me a reason while I'm around I'd kick the shit outta him for what he put his last girlfriend through. And I'll be the first to admit that we're at odds, maybe neither one of us can let shit go. Maybe I'm justified in my reluctance and disdain for him. I never know. I've gotten a few "you were right about him" stories which makes me believe I'm in the right. That doesn't mean that any aggression toward him is okay. But whatever, I'm not mad at you. I'm a little disappointed but I'm not going to make it ruin our friendship. So long as you stay you I'll try to be happy for you.
Although I'm lonely as fuck and bitter about continuing to be a virgin at 25, I have no desire to pursue a woman. I don't want to run around being somebody I'm not in order to find someone who would leave me if they found out who I really am.
I'm really just a lazy, cynical, asshole. I have no hobbies and no interests outside of video games. But I have no desire to change. I like who I am.
So I'm stuck in this weird situation where I don't want to be lonely, but I'm not lonely enough to force change.
I got falsely accused of rape by an ex of mine from an event that was over 3 years ago. We never had sex. by the grace of god/karma from holding doors open for years, I walked away with no charge after delivering my statement to a sheriff. my ex proceeded to file a complaint with my uni about it, and i walked away with minimal damage. I'm so fucking gun-shy about trying to date anymore because of this situation. I have no idea if this piece of shit ex is going to pop out of the woodworks with more shit or harass any women I attempt to date in the future. I got diagnosed with depression because of the event, and as a result I had to drop out of uni because I was doing so shitty in my studies. It was supposed to be my last semester and I failed 8 credits because of it. now i don't even know if I want to finish my degree, and I have no ambition for doing anything except playing minecraft and watching netflix.
Not very attractive, out of shape, not very tall, horrible at small talk, not very good at hiding my emotions, too lazy to change, too pathetic to not stop complaining, too passionate about books, movies, anime, and video games to have enough experience to maintain normal conversation, ugly and average sized dick, no fashion sense, only funny to quirky people, live in a crumbling shithole, neck high in debt, unreliable parents who taught me nothing about taking care of the home, poorfag, not making much bank and don't have any good solutions, get easily walked on at work, no license yet because I'm an anxious twit, facial ticks / probably an aspie, kissless virgin at 24, have an ex from 8 years back who I met online and we somehow really hit it off in text chat, she's a fairly normal girl out of my league entirely, but she's been with her new boyfriend for 5 years and he's far superior, and given all of the above I just think about her almost weekly even though I haven't spoken to her in over a year
Seriously, once my parents are gone I'm just jumping off a bridge. It's just not worth it.
I want a gf. I want to kiss. I want to cuddle. I want to hold someone in a rainstorm. I want to make dumbass nicknames and talk until the sun rises and have picnics and all the other bullshit that doesn't actually happen in real life.
But I have no desire to go through the effort of pursuing someone. Of playing like I'm someone with interesting hobbies who isn't a cynical fuck. Of going through the effort of meeting a bunch of people on the off chance that one of them might like me.
Because at the end of the day, my single desire is to wake up at noon, play video games and have someone who loves me. I can do the first and second bit now. Getting the third part requires compromising the first. And right now I'm unwilling to do that. Maybe when I don't have roommates so I have no human contact outside of work that might change. But for now I'm at least content
I love my stepsister. I didn't want to admit it but I do. She is just so amazing I can't believe someone so great even exists. Is this normal? has it happened to any of you? How can I get over this? I feel like such a disgusting person for feeling like this.
>>16747504 It's the ultimate trade off. Enjoy the creativity of others in the multitude of forms that they are available, or have a girlfriend / family life. There's really no in between. Well there is, but it sounds like you've gone into the deep end of the first part, which means you'd find it unacceptable to only casually dabble in those things now, which is all you can do when you have the second part.
I say just go with the first part. One or the other will haunt you regardless of which one you pick. You may be the first in your very long line of ancestors to have failed to forward the lineage, but oh well. Maybe you can give back to the world in another way.
>>16746639 dude, right now I am much like you five years ago. I still believe there's something inherently good in everyone. Though now my belief is starting to dwindle a bit, cause I desperately try to help one of my friends, yet he ignores any encouragement I offer (though would be mad at me should I not offer it) and continues to act as he does. And here I start feeling like an ass, since I can't help, though I try.
I think I have premonition powers when it comes to meeting people. Like I would think to myself about X person and would then see X at the market, even though I don't know much about X. Like to some degree if I've seen you, I'll meet you again in the near future at a location I am in.
Or maybe it's the power to drawn people I know to some degree, to me.
I guess this is the first time I'm hitting on a girl in a "normal" fashion (met her in a class, not on Tinder and stuff).I'm feeling a bit proud of it. I hope it works out, but, if it doesn't, the next time won't be as hard.
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