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How to recover from messaging fuckup?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 29
Thread images: 4
What do I do, /adv/? I have had a huge crush on this girl for about a year now. She's two years older than me at my university. We started talking recently--she's in two of my classes--and we get along really well. Our fb conversations have been good, funny, etc., and in person we get along really well, but our interactions have been rather brief. Anyways, I really fucked this up and I'm wondering how to recover from this in conversation... I hope she doesn't hold it against me, which I'm not sure she will, but I guess I should just wait it out and see? Is that all I should do?

Also, she has a boyfriend.
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>>16734837
bruh, just fuck leave it alone and don't bring that travesty up again. you can't fix that spaghetti. that's grade A, prime, aged spaghetti. do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up.

>Also, she has a boyfriend.

then move on you faggot.
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Why do you faggots do this
>PLEASE fill me in on what music you like
Don't use the word ''please''. Don't act as if you're asking for some vital information when in reality you're just fishing for conversation topics.
>hours later
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
WHAT THE FUCK?
>oh SORRY
Why are you apologizing? What's wrong with you?
>just really like talking about music
pic related
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Don't feel bad OP. You just gotta talk to women like they're equals. I'm sure you'll do better next time, I'd drop this particular girl though.
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>>16734837
Haha holy fuck like she can't smell your beta-orbiting stench before she even reads a message you try to send her.

There is no recovery, she is flat out DELIBERATELY IGNORING YOU.
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>>16734837

Im sorry anon, But thatss just so fucking bad. Unfortuatly, I don't think theres anyway you can fix it
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OP to be blunt that was really horrible. Don't ever say please, don't ever say sorry. Don't ever ask for or bring up a response she has yet to make.

Learn from this disaster and move one.
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>>16734872
kek, all of this.

>>16734837
>I have had a huge crush on this girl for about a year now.
>We started talking recently
>Also, she has a boyfriend.
What are you DOING man?!
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don't feel bad, she should have said "I'm doing hw right now ttyl" if she was busy
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>>16735110

dude wat
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>>16735110
No, she literally shouldn't have. OP was being annoying. Not everyone is required to walk on egg shells to spare autistic behavior.
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>>16735114
I'm a girl and if I read someone's message when I am in the middle of something, I always let them know that I will respond when I am free. Otherwise they're waiting on my reply.

That's just common sense and basic manners
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>>16735120
She should have.
She wasn't obligated to, but rudely ignoring someone's message while they wait for a response warrants a negetive reaction.
What she did was inconsiderate.

Now, it's true that most girls (probably like 70-80%) do this all the time until someone corrects them. I used to do this until one of my best friends calmly pointed out that she waits on my messages and that if I read them without responding, she assumes I'm angry at her.

But just because this behavior is "normal" doesn't mean that it isn't rude. People have their feelings hurt all the time for no reason because people are too lazy to respond "I'll reply when I'm free" to a message
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Dude just bail, you're not crashing and burning you're a fucking nuke going off. I know how you feel I use to be an autist in messages like that.

That girl will never like you, you're coming across as really beta. needy and a tiny bit of a dick. Yes a dick, you probably thin you're being a nice guy but one of those messages was really passive aggressive and attempting to draw out pitty.
You do not want to be passive aggressive or needy, girls can find that smell that shit a million miles away and they hate it.

Heres some tips.
>Give up on this girl, its game over!
>Stop being needy and trying to act the nice guy. Especially the fucking pitty bit
>Be self confident and a little bit cocky without being a dickhead. If you don't have any self confidence just pretend you do and it will eventually become real.
And finally, this is the most important part.
>NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER SEND A SECOND REPLY IF SHE DOESN'T REPLY AFTER A PERIOD OF TIME.
She could be busy and even if she never replies do not send a second message just give up. Sending five or six afterwards is the most beta and faggot thing you can do.
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>>16735143

Fuck off. It's not our fault that facebook added that stupid 'seen' feature. If someone wants to wait around for a response and invents a cocktail of horrible scenarios in their head for why that might be, that's their idiocy. Anyone who sends a facebook message expecting an instant response is a moron. Fair enough to not drop someone in the middle of a conversation, but there's nothing wrong with handwaving it until you can respond. And for all we know, this girl wants OP to fuck off.
>hurr I'm not like other girls!!!
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>>16735480
>"it's not my fault that now other people can tell what an insensitive bitch I am now!!"

saying "it's their fault for being sensitive" is putting the blame on someone else and preventing yourself from growing. No one expects an instant response, but if you read my message and don't respond 5 hours later, I'm going to assume that you want me to fuck off, and if I'm more dumb (like op) I'd make a snide comment.
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>>16735550
>is putting the blame on someone else
It's their fault because they're inventing a drama in their own heads. You're not responsible for that shit.
And you're automatically implying that this is something I do just because I don't agree with you. I don't look at messages until I'm prepared to respond because otherwise I'm liable to forget without a notification, but I don't give a fuck if someone sees I've seen it and has a hissy fit over it.
I'm someone who often gets panicked over absolute nothings, and that is MY irrationality. That's no one else's fucking responsibility because I'm not a goddamn baby and the world isn't going to bend over backwards to suit my completely irrational, unpredictable worries.

>but if you read my message and don't respond 5 hours later, I'm going to assume that you want me to fuck off
Maybe OP's chick does.
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>>16735110
lol
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>>16735564
Look- I'm not saying that the chick HAS to respond, but it is rude not to! If someone who you care about is bothered by waiting on your messages, then if you're a good friend, you'll make an effort to be better about communicating. If you don't make that effort to cater to people's feelings, then you can't expect anyone to really be a good friend to you and respect the things that you may be irrational about.

Op's chick might be telling him to fuck off, but the way that she was like "chill out I'm just doing my hw" implies that he's the one to blame for feeling upset that she read the message without responding.
People will feel upset if you ignore them. It's fine to ignore them, but don't act like you're not being rude when they call you out on it
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>>16735623

None of that pertains to this thread at all. The girl isn't here, we have no idea if this is something she often does, if she's aware of being specifically bothersome to OP, or if she gives a fuck. You have absolutely no grounds to comment on what she 'should' have done.
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>that passive aggression
Jesus Christ, I'd cut you off right then and there if I were here
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>>16734872
Do not dissect people's conversations. You never had a crush before? FFS
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> she has a boyfriend

I've been there, anon. It's not worth it. Those feelings of not being good enough and thinking about her getting fucked while you just sit in your room, shitposting on 4chan, will eventually tear you apart from the inside. Don't be like me anon

ABANDON SHIP
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>>16735776

>OP posts conversation for damage report
>"don't dissect it!"

and it takes very little dissection to see what went wrong here and help OP learn. it's less 'cut the animal open to see the liver damage' more just 'hey look that thing's head is squashed'.
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Oh my god
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>>16735780
Yeah.. if the head is squashed, one need not stick their fingers in and make a bloody mess, "look how badly this thing is squashed guys"
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>>16734872
this
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>>16734837
>please fill me in

Lol never talk like this to a girl. You should've just asked her instead of her demanding she tell you.

calm that autism
Thread replies: 29
Thread images: 4
Thread DB ID: 472049



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