To be likable you must meet some standards, but at the same time

>>16729644

Where to start...

"Meeting standards" is not the opposite of "being yourself." It's very possible to do both of those things. I mean, do you have such a shitty opinion of yourself that NOT meeting other people's standards is central to your self-identity?

I don't know who told you that people should never change, but that person didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. People change and improve themselves all the time for a whole bunch of reasons, and attracting people is one of them. Nothing is wrong with that.

Changing something fundamental to your personality is a stupid idea. e.g. pretending to be an extrovert when you're actually an introvert. You'll burn yourself out that way and it won't make you happy. But improving yourself, getting an education, being healthy, working hard, trying to create something new? These are things we should all be striving for.

Look at yourself. Would you date you? No? Then why would anyone else?

>>16729644

I don't know what the fuck your pic is trying to say, but I'll do my best with your actual post.

Essentially, the answer is not necessarily to change yourself or just be yourself, but rather to BECOME yourself. In other words, cultivate your good qualities and develop yourself to your higher potential.

You might currently be a fat lonely NEET, but that doesn't mean that's the only kind of person you should be. Nor does it mean you have to throw everything away and master the art of underwater bioguitar engineering to make $700k starting.

You can be true to yourself (whatever that means to you) AND improve yourself.

>>16729673
I've always been changing and i'm always alone it doesn't matter who i am or what i enjoy in the end i'm alone doing something trying to find some sort of happiness but it's just escapism, because i don't any kind of fullfilment

>>16729681
Sounds impossible since i only know my weaknesses

Oh lawd you're one of those whiny "boohoo woe is me" kind of faggots aren't you?

Changing who you are is not something you should do. Don't try and change a quality of yourself that is rooted deep in your system, like trying to be extremely extroverted when you're introverted (as that previous poster said) or forcing yourself to be involved in a hobby that you hate for the sake of impressing people.

However, improving yourself is completely different. Improving yourself is taking your already good qualities and making them stand out more by both raising them up and getting rid of your negative qualities. Are you 350lbs and want a thin girlfriend? Time to hit the gym buddy. Being healthy and being clean are 2 things everyone should make a priority in their lives. When you are happy with the way you look you will be able to be happy knowing someone else likes looking at you too.

It doesn't matter what you do in life, someone is going to say you're doing it wrong.

It's impossible to not offend other people either, it happens naturally and it's usually a reflection of the other person dealing with their own issues.

Be civil, but stop caring what other people think of you. Do things you enjoy, and do them with people you enjoy. Let everything else fall into place naturally and stop trying so damn hard. When you let society dictate every action and thought, you become a slave.

Oh, and don't get married.

>>16729745
I already work out and groom myself, don't give me bro-advice, i don't need that shit

Being yourself is feel good bullshit. Doing everything to improve yourself is artificial bullshit. Do a little bit to improve your chances but remember to spend as much time doing stuff you enjoy in mixed company.

Happiness is attractive and if you don't score you still had fun.

>>16730079
Who are you, if you are not yourself, because it's bullshit?

>>16729644
>If you want to get a gf you must go to the gym, get a high-paying job, get social hobbies and travel in order to meet her standards
I don't go to the gym, have a high paying job or have many hobbies that involvd leaving the house at all and I still managed to land a girlfriend who loves all the same shit as me.

All you'll accomplish by meeting those standards is bagging a person who likes you for your physique, your money and your social network - basically anything except for who you actually are.

>To be likable you must meet some standards, but at the same time you should be yourself
You should never fake who you are. But if who you are sucks, you should truly change (as opposed to faking) into a better person.

>If you want to get a gf you must go to the gym, get a high-paying job, get social hobbies and travel in order to meet her standards, but you always have to be yourself
Same as above. You can suck at life if you want to, but you'll just die miserable.

>If you start to change in order to please others you are wrong, but being who you are is also wrong.
If you want to please others, you should be a genuinely impressive person. You're not changing for the sake of pleasing them though. You're changing because your choices are to be a genuinely impressive person or to die miserable. You pick the former for your own sake, not for anyone else. It just so happens that a very likely consequence of making for your own happiness is that others will like you too.

>>16730096
I'm saying its fundamentally useless advice.

No one who wonders in says be yourself and walks out again has every done anyone any good.

>>16730110
Nice humblebragging there, you patronizing faggot

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Who do you want to be?
Ok, pursue that.
Don't tell me you're happy where you are. If you were, this entire line of thinking that you wrote out in OP wouldn't even exist.

>>16729644

>only rich gymrats have girlfriends

this is not remotely close to the truth. I dont have any rich friends. but most of my friends have had gfs anyway. very few go to the gym

>>16730197

>that was humblebragging

jesus christ op you are the worst

>If you want to get a gf you must go to the gym, get a high-paying job, get social hobbies and travel
nope nope nope nope. I don't know why you think that's the case, but you're wrong.
>If you start to change in order to please others you are wrong, but being who you are is also wrong.
being who YOU are is wrong. I'm fine.

>>16729644
>If you want to get a gf you must go to the gym, get a high-paying job, get social hobbies and travel in order to meet her standards, but you always have to be yourself
Lies, lies and one more time lies. Be confident. Also, you won't get a girl until you're happy and comfortable with yourself. Who the hell would want to be with someone who doesn't respect himself?

>>16730382
>>16730339
Thank you for letting me know that i can't my point across , like a good writer do

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>To be likable you must meet some standards, but at the same time you should be yourself
It means stay true to who you are, but that isnt some free pass to say whatever is on your mind. It's called tact.

>If you want to get a gf you must go to the gym, get a high-paying job, get social hobbies and travel in order to meet her standards
Not really. I'm a broke engineering major who's somewhat overweight. I still have decent luck.

>If you start to change in order to please others you are wrong, but being who you are is also wrong.
See above, it's called tact. If you like anime and video games and whatever else more power to you, but you should also know a woman who is interested in neither will want to talk about something else.

"Being yourself" is being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, your abilities and limits.

If you fucking love steak dinners, you shouldn't pretend to be a vegan for the sake of attracting emo chicks. If you are not an outdoorsy type, you shouldn't volunteer to be dog walkers at a shelter. If you are not a morning person, don't make up a workout schedule where you have to wake up at 5am in the morning. If you don't have money, don't shell out for credit cards you can't pay off to buy brand name clothes that don't fit you well.

However, it is perfectly fine for you to change yourself within your limits. Sure, you don't have to be vegan but you could have meatless mondays because reducing your meat intake is healthier for you and cheaper on the grocery bills. Sure, you don't like walking dogs, but you could foster some shelter cats. Sure you're not a morning person, but you are definitely a night owl and going to the gym at midnight to work off some stress before you go to bed would be great for you. You may not have many decent clothes, but they could be washed and ironed to keep you looking presentable.

Women don't care if you go to the gym. Just don't eat enough to be fat and have a good personality.