I feel like a fucking movie romantic. I constantly want the guy to fight for me, not be a pussy, and just be honest. How do I get over this horseshit? I'm tired of feeling that way and I just want it to stop so I can move on.
>I feel like it's extremely unrealistic
It can be, but it depends on the degree you're looking for. What do you mean when you say you want a man to fight for you? What does it mean for a man to not be a pussy? Is just being honest really so unrealistic?
Coming from a man...
There's nothing wrong with being romantic. I sometimes wonder how I'll ever truly love another person in that way unless I go through some sort of trial or adversity that bonds us. That's romantic as fuck, and I know my expectations are probably ridiculous, but it's okay to fantasize.
You're probably just immature. Because honestly, fighting over a woman arbitrarily is kind of ridiculous. If a woman isn't showing me affection when I show it to her, if I get the sense she's playing games because "she wants a man who will fight for her", I feel as though she's narcissistic and believes she deserves quite a bit of male attention. You'll have to realize that sometimes you accept love or interest from someone without placing weird boundaries around it.
Question: Are you the princess for your white knight? Additionally, are you actually looking for your knight or are you assuming that one of these random dudes on Tinder or sitting in starbuck is secretly a modern crusader?
Good luck finding one, to extend the metaphor, plate armor is fucking heavy; I sure as hell ain't wearing the whole thing anymore.
Wanting romance is perfectly fine. The problem is when you put it up on a pedestal, and forget a relationship requires maintenance. Love puts you in the right direction, it doesn't substitute the rest.
Are you serious? The kind of lies and general bullshit I see people accept in these kinds of movies is astounding. If some person fucks up (e.g. massive lies, stalking) and they get dumped, magically professing your love won't win them back.
well, there certainly are movies and stuff that don't portray healthy and true love. but if you go on adv, you see that this shit is very common. people don't know what real love is and they do stupid ass shit. people that write plots and lyrics are human too. they haven't figured it all out either.
>well, there certainly are movies and stuff that don't portray healthy and true love.
And they're the majority. If you're going to find a healthy relationship in the film, it's probably going to be in indie shit rather than something made for the masses.
You're right, people fantasize about doing shit. But it's a world apart when you're actually in that position. I doubt many people who claim they could forgive infidelity actually would for instance.
Here are some most likely things you're expecting:
1. The guy proposes to you but you friendzone him because he's not romantic enough
2. The guy romantically proposes to you but you get upset that no one else knows about it, thus making it un-romantic
3. He proposes to you in public but you're embarrassed by it that you friendzone him.
4. You're idea of romance is too fairy-tale like that it's skewed your perception of love.
5. You want a Gary Stu? Good luck on finding one.
OP here. I just want him to take charge in life. Stand up for what he wants. And it's hard when someone you care about and love is too scared to be/think for himself. It kills me. I'm not looking for a proposal or anything. I'm just looking for him to be assertive.
OP here to clarify things.
I took a break from him. We want to try and make things work again. But I'm putting in what I need to. He just needs to do the same. He's trying but he gets scared and runs the comes back. I mean if he really can't just stick to what he says then I just wanna drop him and move on. But I feel that connection when we're with each other. I see myself with him. And for me I just want him to take charge. He becomes so lost. Which makes me feel just as lost.
So you fell for a guy who is unassertive, and now you feel that your feelings about wanting someone assertive is wrong? Your feelings are not wrong, they are natural. Women look for assertive men because if they have kids it's a 24 hour job and they will be completely reliant on the guy. If he's worse than doing a manly role than you are, then what's the point?
Also we were together for over 2 years.
I feel like he's going to start because he does love me. But who knows other than him? He's a mess. I just encourage him to get his act together.